Saga of Erika's preschool journey
I sat down to start writing about Erika's end-of-the-year show at her new preschool that she's been enrolled at since April and realized I never even mentioned the new school. Like, ever. Did you know that Erika attends "old school" (the preschool closed due to the storm but since reopened) two days a week, and attends a new private school the other three days?
A recap on Erika's preschool saga/history:
Erika started preschool when she was six months old in October 2010. She was born in April, I took unpaid maternity leave followed by 10 weeks of summer vacation, and when I returned to work in September, Brian took a month of unpaid paternity leave.
We had checked out several preschools/daycares in the area, had a vague list of what we were looking for (kids look happy, place looks clean, staff looks professional? What did we know, we were first-time parents) and we enrolled Erika at the preschool that is a 5-minute walk from my work. It's located in a national park, surrounded by the beach and nature, with an emphasis on nature-based learning. What we've since grown to love about the preschool is that they believe in "No Child Left Inside" and bring the children outdoors several times a day.The children tend a butterfly garden, a vegetable garden, and a flower bed in the school's playground. In the summers, the older children are enrolled in the National Park Junior Ranger program that teaches them wildlife identification, beach seining, nature hikes, and more. They promote green cleaning products and organic snacks, focus on reading and free play, and subscribe to a multi-age integrated learning environment. The multi-age integrated learning environment, I've come to find out, is rare in the preschool world. At most schools, students are segregated by age or abilities into classrooms for instruction. At this preschool, every child whether 2 months old or 5 years old, learns, plays, naps, and eats together. When it's reading time, the 5-year olds read to each other or on their own, the 3-year olds are guided with a teacher in a small circle, and the 1-year olds sit in the laps of teachers and look at books; but they are all in one room, all reading at the same time. There are many parents who are critics of this philosophy; the main opposition appears to be the fear that non-movers, crawlers, toddlers, and runners, need to be segregated. A parent who withdrew from the school feared the older children would "too rough with the baby" and wanted an "infant only" room. There are parents who feel that older 5-year old kids need to be challenged and need a more rigorous curriculum involving writing, and spelling, and math (because they instead spend most of their time in imaginative play, creative time, or playing outdoors), which is a valid criticism, but for me, not my goal for Erika at this preschool.
Then Hurricane Sandy hit in October 2012. The national park was closed to the public, which meant there was no access to my workplace or Erika's daycare. After we depleted the savings account to pay the teachers for two months, the teachers were laid off before Christmas/Hannukkah. The preschool still had to pay insurance and rent and utilities and lawyer fees, and more... with no tuition income. We fundraised, we wrote grants, we begged friends on Facebook... and through the generosity of many, we raised $3,000, which was enough to cover our expenses and reopen when the park reopened to the public. The preschool reopened on May 1st with the national park, but Erika is returning to the school only two days a week.
When the storm hit in October, I admit I panicked. I had no workplace and no childcare if my work should reopen. I made frantic phone calls, looked into a nanny-share, called ex-students to babysit, and then found a daycare that was willing to take her on short notice (actually, no notice...). They were a local school, they didn't suffer any damages but they knew the devastating effects and wanted to help. I enrolled Erika up immediately and she attended this preschool from November 2012 through April 2013. It was one of the preschools I had checked out when pregnant with Erika, in fact, it was my #2 choice, but Erika disliked it.She talked about returning to "old school" on a daily basis. She would wake in the morning and ask "do I have to go to new school today? Please, can I stay home?" Despite seeing her old friends on playdates and despite six of her classmates choosing to enroll in this school too (so it was basically their old school, just in a new location with new teachers) she wanted to return to old school. She asked if she could help fix with her hammer, she asked if she could donate money from her piggy bank to help, she asked if she could call her grandfather on the phone to ask him to help fix the school. It started to get worse-- she cried when I dropped her off in the mornings; clinging to my leg, refusing to let go, hysterically sobbing, begging that if she promised to be good that day, could I please not make her go. Then I started to notice that at drop-off, a lot of other children behaved like Erika. I noticed the TV was on when I dropped her off and all the gathered children were seated on the floor, eyes glued to the TV in front of them. And at pick-up, she'd drop whatever she was involved in, yell "MOMMY!", and run into my arms. Other times she'd just grab her lunchbox and jacket and run out the front door as I stood holding the door open, before I even had a chance to say "hi". She was sick and on antibiotics three times in the five months. She caught lice. She caught a viral fever so bad, she threw up and stayed home for two days. And I know intellectually that these things could happen even at a good preschool, that there were no signs to indicate that she was mistreated, but it just wasn't a good fit. Which in hindsight, it's funny to think that I "interviewed" so many preschools and this was my #2 choice--- the kids looked happy, the place looked clean, and the staff looked professional! Was there more?
As early as January, just two months at the new daycare, we realized it was not a good fit.She was unhappy and she was having more temper tantrums at home. She whined a lot more, she threw a lot more hissy fits. She started this strange behavior where she crawled on all fours on the floor and meowed, saying "that's how we play at school. I'm the cat." Which is totally fine for her to play like that, but it was ENDLESS. You'd try to have a conversation with her, and she'd meow. You'd try to get her to sit down for dinner to eat, and she would just crawl around on all four under the table. You'd try to read or play with blocks or draw a picture, and all she wanted to do was crawl and meow. I finally sat her down and told her to give it to me straight, what is going on and she said something to the effect of "I wanted to be the Mommy and take care of the Baby but they said I can't. I have to be the cat, every day and always. I'm not allowed to walk or talk." Erika also told me about the boy who shoved her and kicked her and threw sand in her eyes. I talked to the teachers and they gave me a surprised look and said "oh, Erika didn't tell us anything about that! Thank you for telling us and we'll be sure to address it next time if it reoccurs" in a very professional manner. And then it happened again. We went to the library and got the anti-violence books "Feet are not for kicking" and "Hands are not for hitting" and we practiced saying NO and redirecting peers and telling our teachers when we need help, but did any of it help? No, the boy kept shoving and kicking and pushing and throwing sand. Once, when I arrived to pick her up from school, she passed a 5-year old boy and said "bye, Brah-dun" and he rolled his eyes and said "It's BRAY-dun, dummy." Or once, when I dropped her off with her best friend, a stuffed puppy aptly named Puppy, she showed it to a peer and the girl grabbed it from her arms and proceeded to attempt to rip his head off. The teacher in charge said "oh my, that's disturbing. Here, Maddy, do it to the frog instead, not Erika's toy." (Not so professional.)
We started to look at preschools again and this time, I included a few more criteria: I asked my mommy friends for recommendations, I insisted that Erika accompany me on the tour of the facility, I watched carefully how the teachers/staff/children interacted with Erika, I asked specifics about their program and curriculum, I asked about staff turnover rates and qualifications/credentials, I waited for pick-up/drop-off times to interview parents with enrolled children and read their reactions and not their verbal responses (which parent doesn't say "this school is great! S/he loves it here!")
I found a preschool that is part of a private school, i.e. it's a pre-K to 8th Grade private school. They are ranked #1 in the county (I didn't know they ranked schools) and offer a myriad of curricular activities including swim lessons at the on-site pool with certified swim instructor, gym class in a full-size basketball court gym, gymnastics class, music class, art class, science class, Spanish class, and field trips to the library, the park, the beach, and Erika's favorite historical working farm. Unfortunately, they only enroll 3+ and have to be 100% potty-trained. Erika had to be "interviewed" (they kindly worded it as "we need to make sure we're a good fit for each other") and there are four separate classes which I interpreted through her explanations to be loosely aligned with the child's abilities. Erika started off well in the interview, and then gave up halfway through, and stubbornly acted like an idiot.They asked her name, which she knew. They asked her if she knew how to spell it, which she spelt "E-R-K-A... I! P! A! " (like an afterthought that she'd forgotten a few letters). They let her walk through the room and asked her to pick some toys, so she picked two airplanes. They asked her the colors of the planes, which she correctly repeated, then they asked her the colors of the rainbow, which she also knew. They asked her to count the number of airplanes, at which point Erika who was zooming the planes through the air, stopped and said "why?" And the teacher said "because I dont know how many there are" which is not what you tell my daughter, because then Erika replied "oh. Okay." So then when she was asked "can you say your alphabet?" Erika said no. When asked what letter comes after the letter A, Erika said C. When asked what other things you can ride in to get from one place to another are called, she said "fish?" like a question and cocked her head to the side, like it was supposed to be a genuine response. It derailed quickly after that, with me saying in a small voice "are you sure, Erika?" and she'd nod and say "yup" or sometimes in response to questions like "how many fingers do you have" she'd reply "I dunno." Infuriating.
They placed her in Miss Lindsay's class, which was explained to me as "This is Miss Lindsay's first year as head teacher but her third year working here. She's very patient with students and gives them ample time to learn. I think we should start her here as we dont want her to be overwhelmed by the new experiences, as all the other students enrolled in September and she's seven months behind them in terms of getting acclimated with our routine." I observed the artwork and the displayed reading books. Miss Lindsay's class appears to be either 2nd or 3rd out of the 4 classes offered for the preschool level. Erika loves Miss Lindsay. She comes home every day with a big smile on her face, she sings songs and dances and talks about all the things Miss Lindsay does. She likes swim classes and dance and gym and art. She practiced her choreography for the big end-of-the-year musical show. She tells me she is very happy with the school.
And then, only yesterday, did I realize one additional factoid. I thought the four classes for preschool were just 3-year olds, and Erika was in a middle-track class. I'd never met her classmates (I don't drop her off in the mornings anymore, Brian does that; and she rides the school bus home now so I don't pick up either) so I never knew. But it turns out, the preschool program is for any child who is 3 or 4 or 5 years old (at 6, they start the Kindergarden program) and Erika is the youngest in her class. The next youngest child is turning 4 this fall, while Erika just turned 3 last month. So being in the middle-track class aint so bad, I guess! I thought she bombed the interview, but I guess they realized she was smart after all!!
A recap on Erika's preschool saga/history:
Erika started preschool when she was six months old in October 2010. She was born in April, I took unpaid maternity leave followed by 10 weeks of summer vacation, and when I returned to work in September, Brian took a month of unpaid paternity leave.
We had checked out several preschools/daycares in the area, had a vague list of what we were looking for (kids look happy, place looks clean, staff looks professional? What did we know, we were first-time parents) and we enrolled Erika at the preschool that is a 5-minute walk from my work. It's located in a national park, surrounded by the beach and nature, with an emphasis on nature-based learning. What we've since grown to love about the preschool is that they believe in "No Child Left Inside" and bring the children outdoors several times a day.The children tend a butterfly garden, a vegetable garden, and a flower bed in the school's playground. In the summers, the older children are enrolled in the National Park Junior Ranger program that teaches them wildlife identification, beach seining, nature hikes, and more. They promote green cleaning products and organic snacks, focus on reading and free play, and subscribe to a multi-age integrated learning environment. The multi-age integrated learning environment, I've come to find out, is rare in the preschool world. At most schools, students are segregated by age or abilities into classrooms for instruction. At this preschool, every child whether 2 months old or 5 years old, learns, plays, naps, and eats together. When it's reading time, the 5-year olds read to each other or on their own, the 3-year olds are guided with a teacher in a small circle, and the 1-year olds sit in the laps of teachers and look at books; but they are all in one room, all reading at the same time. There are many parents who are critics of this philosophy; the main opposition appears to be the fear that non-movers, crawlers, toddlers, and runners, need to be segregated. A parent who withdrew from the school feared the older children would "too rough with the baby" and wanted an "infant only" room. There are parents who feel that older 5-year old kids need to be challenged and need a more rigorous curriculum involving writing, and spelling, and math (because they instead spend most of their time in imaginative play, creative time, or playing outdoors), which is a valid criticism, but for me, not my goal for Erika at this preschool.
Then Hurricane Sandy hit in October 2012. The national park was closed to the public, which meant there was no access to my workplace or Erika's daycare. After we depleted the savings account to pay the teachers for two months, the teachers were laid off before Christmas/Hannukkah. The preschool still had to pay insurance and rent and utilities and lawyer fees, and more... with no tuition income. We fundraised, we wrote grants, we begged friends on Facebook... and through the generosity of many, we raised $3,000, which was enough to cover our expenses and reopen when the park reopened to the public. The preschool reopened on May 1st with the national park, but Erika is returning to the school only two days a week.
When the storm hit in October, I admit I panicked. I had no workplace and no childcare if my work should reopen. I made frantic phone calls, looked into a nanny-share, called ex-students to babysit, and then found a daycare that was willing to take her on short notice (actually, no notice...). They were a local school, they didn't suffer any damages but they knew the devastating effects and wanted to help. I enrolled Erika up immediately and she attended this preschool from November 2012 through April 2013. It was one of the preschools I had checked out when pregnant with Erika, in fact, it was my #2 choice, but Erika disliked it.She talked about returning to "old school" on a daily basis. She would wake in the morning and ask "do I have to go to new school today? Please, can I stay home?" Despite seeing her old friends on playdates and despite six of her classmates choosing to enroll in this school too (so it was basically their old school, just in a new location with new teachers) she wanted to return to old school. She asked if she could help fix with her hammer, she asked if she could donate money from her piggy bank to help, she asked if she could call her grandfather on the phone to ask him to help fix the school. It started to get worse-- she cried when I dropped her off in the mornings; clinging to my leg, refusing to let go, hysterically sobbing, begging that if she promised to be good that day, could I please not make her go. Then I started to notice that at drop-off, a lot of other children behaved like Erika. I noticed the TV was on when I dropped her off and all the gathered children were seated on the floor, eyes glued to the TV in front of them. And at pick-up, she'd drop whatever she was involved in, yell "MOMMY!", and run into my arms. Other times she'd just grab her lunchbox and jacket and run out the front door as I stood holding the door open, before I even had a chance to say "hi". She was sick and on antibiotics three times in the five months. She caught lice. She caught a viral fever so bad, she threw up and stayed home for two days. And I know intellectually that these things could happen even at a good preschool, that there were no signs to indicate that she was mistreated, but it just wasn't a good fit. Which in hindsight, it's funny to think that I "interviewed" so many preschools and this was my #2 choice--- the kids looked happy, the place looked clean, and the staff looked professional! Was there more?
As early as January, just two months at the new daycare, we realized it was not a good fit.She was unhappy and she was having more temper tantrums at home. She whined a lot more, she threw a lot more hissy fits. She started this strange behavior where she crawled on all fours on the floor and meowed, saying "that's how we play at school. I'm the cat." Which is totally fine for her to play like that, but it was ENDLESS. You'd try to have a conversation with her, and she'd meow. You'd try to get her to sit down for dinner to eat, and she would just crawl around on all four under the table. You'd try to read or play with blocks or draw a picture, and all she wanted to do was crawl and meow. I finally sat her down and told her to give it to me straight, what is going on and she said something to the effect of "I wanted to be the Mommy and take care of the Baby but they said I can't. I have to be the cat, every day and always. I'm not allowed to walk or talk." Erika also told me about the boy who shoved her and kicked her and threw sand in her eyes. I talked to the teachers and they gave me a surprised look and said "oh, Erika didn't tell us anything about that! Thank you for telling us and we'll be sure to address it next time if it reoccurs" in a very professional manner. And then it happened again. We went to the library and got the anti-violence books "Feet are not for kicking" and "Hands are not for hitting" and we practiced saying NO and redirecting peers and telling our teachers when we need help, but did any of it help? No, the boy kept shoving and kicking and pushing and throwing sand. Once, when I arrived to pick her up from school, she passed a 5-year old boy and said "bye, Brah-dun" and he rolled his eyes and said "It's BRAY-dun, dummy." Or once, when I dropped her off with her best friend, a stuffed puppy aptly named Puppy, she showed it to a peer and the girl grabbed it from her arms and proceeded to attempt to rip his head off. The teacher in charge said "oh my, that's disturbing. Here, Maddy, do it to the frog instead, not Erika's toy." (Not so professional.)
We started to look at preschools again and this time, I included a few more criteria: I asked my mommy friends for recommendations, I insisted that Erika accompany me on the tour of the facility, I watched carefully how the teachers/staff/children interacted with Erika, I asked specifics about their program and curriculum, I asked about staff turnover rates and qualifications/credentials, I waited for pick-up/drop-off times to interview parents with enrolled children and read their reactions and not their verbal responses (which parent doesn't say "this school is great! S/he loves it here!")
I found a preschool that is part of a private school, i.e. it's a pre-K to 8th Grade private school. They are ranked #1 in the county (I didn't know they ranked schools) and offer a myriad of curricular activities including swim lessons at the on-site pool with certified swim instructor, gym class in a full-size basketball court gym, gymnastics class, music class, art class, science class, Spanish class, and field trips to the library, the park, the beach, and Erika's favorite historical working farm. Unfortunately, they only enroll 3+ and have to be 100% potty-trained. Erika had to be "interviewed" (they kindly worded it as "we need to make sure we're a good fit for each other") and there are four separate classes which I interpreted through her explanations to be loosely aligned with the child's abilities. Erika started off well in the interview, and then gave up halfway through, and stubbornly acted like an idiot.They asked her name, which she knew. They asked her if she knew how to spell it, which she spelt "E-R-K-A... I! P! A! " (like an afterthought that she'd forgotten a few letters). They let her walk through the room and asked her to pick some toys, so she picked two airplanes. They asked her the colors of the planes, which she correctly repeated, then they asked her the colors of the rainbow, which she also knew. They asked her to count the number of airplanes, at which point Erika who was zooming the planes through the air, stopped and said "why?" And the teacher said "because I dont know how many there are" which is not what you tell my daughter, because then Erika replied "oh. Okay." So then when she was asked "can you say your alphabet?" Erika said no. When asked what letter comes after the letter A, Erika said C. When asked what other things you can ride in to get from one place to another are called, she said "fish?" like a question and cocked her head to the side, like it was supposed to be a genuine response. It derailed quickly after that, with me saying in a small voice "are you sure, Erika?" and she'd nod and say "yup" or sometimes in response to questions like "how many fingers do you have" she'd reply "I dunno." Infuriating.
They placed her in Miss Lindsay's class, which was explained to me as "This is Miss Lindsay's first year as head teacher but her third year working here. She's very patient with students and gives them ample time to learn. I think we should start her here as we dont want her to be overwhelmed by the new experiences, as all the other students enrolled in September and she's seven months behind them in terms of getting acclimated with our routine." I observed the artwork and the displayed reading books. Miss Lindsay's class appears to be either 2nd or 3rd out of the 4 classes offered for the preschool level. Erika loves Miss Lindsay. She comes home every day with a big smile on her face, she sings songs and dances and talks about all the things Miss Lindsay does. She likes swim classes and dance and gym and art. She practiced her choreography for the big end-of-the-year musical show. She tells me she is very happy with the school.
And then, only yesterday, did I realize one additional factoid. I thought the four classes for preschool were just 3-year olds, and Erika was in a middle-track class. I'd never met her classmates (I don't drop her off in the mornings anymore, Brian does that; and she rides the school bus home now so I don't pick up either) so I never knew. But it turns out, the preschool program is for any child who is 3 or 4 or 5 years old (at 6, they start the Kindergarden program) and Erika is the youngest in her class. The next youngest child is turning 4 this fall, while Erika just turned 3 last month. So being in the middle-track class aint so bad, I guess! I thought she bombed the interview, but I guess they realized she was smart after all!!