Carry Me Through Seven
Title: Carry Me Through
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat (All Time Low)
Rating: Teen, for angsty thoughts.
Summary: He's no longer able to carry me through the grief and the pain that comes my way.
Warnings: Angsty thoughts, fail!first person
Dedication: Every single person who has been waiting so very long for this last chapter that I completely changed since my laptop deleted the old version. Thank you all of you for being patient with me!
Disclaimer: If I owned Alex Gaskarth and his thoughts, they wouldn't be like this. I'd make them happy.
Author's Notes: Sorry this took so long. This is the epilogue to the story, so enjoy?
First Person Alex
Title courtesy of Crawl (Carry Me Through) by Superchick
Perfection isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned since I’ve been here, it’s that. I can’t believe how stupid I was, how foolish I was to think that destroying people’s lives and killing my own body was going to end up being a good thing. Clearly it wasn’t. He’s lost, broken and I’m in a place I never believed in in the first place. The weird thing though is that I’m not just me anymore. I’m real.
The feeling of being flawless is…well, it’s spectacular. My body, or…soul, whatever it is that I’m called up here, it’s perfect. I’m not torn to shreds like I used to be. I’m pretty, flawless and I actually look healthy. Ana and Mia were wrong. Going into the shadows would have been horrible, but coming into the light, that wasn’t all that much better. I’m safe though now. If he could see me right now, he’d be so proud. There are no scars, no injuries. My body’s pure, perfect now, and while that’s because of what I ended up doing to myself, it feels good.
What doesn’t feel good though is having to sit here and watch him crack a little more each day. It’s been months, and I thought he’d be over it by now. I thought that he’d heal up fine, realize that I’m fine where I am now and that he needs to move on, but he hasn’t done that yet. He hasn’t even come close and I need to fix that. I broke him by breaking myself. I got fixed though, he didn’t. I need to change that.
You know, it’s funny. I never believed in this place, but now here I am, perfect and fine and I even have wings, mist, whatever you want to call them. They’re pretty too. They’re not perfect yet though. I have to earn them, work my way to actually get the wings that I was given at birth, but I’m not quite sure how to do that.
I knew how to start it. I had to fix my friends, my family. Mom’s healed mostly, she’s over the whole initial shock of it and she’s been getting better. Zack’s got Rian, and Rian takes good care of him, so there’s no need to worry over them. It seems like everyone’s okay again except for him, but that’s the problem.
I want to make him okay again.
I want him to get better, to move on.
To love.
It seems though that I’m going to have a lot of work to take care of that one, and I’ll put the effort in. I mean, he was my earthly angel and he took care of me when I needed him most, so it’s high time that I repay the favor.
From now on, I’m going to be his angel. I’m going to take care of him the way I should have when I was around, the way that I neglected because I was too wrapped up in an earthly perfection that was so far from perfection it wasn’t even funny. From now on, my problems are thrown out the window. It’s time to save him.
It’s time to earn my wings.
~
If you haven't picked up on this, there will be a sequel, so keep your eyes peeled for it okay? It's going to be fun to write! :D
It'll be HAPPEH! (sort of)
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat (All Time Low)
Rating: Teen, for angsty thoughts.
Summary: He's no longer able to carry me through the grief and the pain that comes my way.
Warnings: Angsty thoughts, fail!first person
Dedication: Every single person who has been waiting so very long for this last chapter that I completely changed since my laptop deleted the old version. Thank you all of you for being patient with me!
Disclaimer: If I owned Alex Gaskarth and his thoughts, they wouldn't be like this. I'd make them happy.
Author's Notes: Sorry this took so long. This is the epilogue to the story, so enjoy?
First Person Alex
Title courtesy of Crawl (Carry Me Through) by Superchick
Perfection isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned since I’ve been here, it’s that. I can’t believe how stupid I was, how foolish I was to think that destroying people’s lives and killing my own body was going to end up being a good thing. Clearly it wasn’t. He’s lost, broken and I’m in a place I never believed in in the first place. The weird thing though is that I’m not just me anymore. I’m real.
The feeling of being flawless is…well, it’s spectacular. My body, or…soul, whatever it is that I’m called up here, it’s perfect. I’m not torn to shreds like I used to be. I’m pretty, flawless and I actually look healthy. Ana and Mia were wrong. Going into the shadows would have been horrible, but coming into the light, that wasn’t all that much better. I’m safe though now. If he could see me right now, he’d be so proud. There are no scars, no injuries. My body’s pure, perfect now, and while that’s because of what I ended up doing to myself, it feels good.
What doesn’t feel good though is having to sit here and watch him crack a little more each day. It’s been months, and I thought he’d be over it by now. I thought that he’d heal up fine, realize that I’m fine where I am now and that he needs to move on, but he hasn’t done that yet. He hasn’t even come close and I need to fix that. I broke him by breaking myself. I got fixed though, he didn’t. I need to change that.
You know, it’s funny. I never believed in this place, but now here I am, perfect and fine and I even have wings, mist, whatever you want to call them. They’re pretty too. They’re not perfect yet though. I have to earn them, work my way to actually get the wings that I was given at birth, but I’m not quite sure how to do that.
I knew how to start it. I had to fix my friends, my family. Mom’s healed mostly, she’s over the whole initial shock of it and she’s been getting better. Zack’s got Rian, and Rian takes good care of him, so there’s no need to worry over them. It seems like everyone’s okay again except for him, but that’s the problem.
I want to make him okay again.
I want him to get better, to move on.
To love.
It seems though that I’m going to have a lot of work to take care of that one, and I’ll put the effort in. I mean, he was my earthly angel and he took care of me when I needed him most, so it’s high time that I repay the favor.
From now on, I’m going to be his angel. I’m going to take care of him the way I should have when I was around, the way that I neglected because I was too wrapped up in an earthly perfection that was so far from perfection it wasn’t even funny. From now on, my problems are thrown out the window. It’s time to save him.
It’s time to earn my wings.
~
If you haven't picked up on this, there will be a sequel, so keep your eyes peeled for it okay? It's going to be fun to write! :D
It'll be HAPPEH! (sort of)