Let's get political.
I see the big news over in the States (other than their economy has gone straight down the loo) is this Sarah Palin.
There are a few reasons why I would make a better VP than that country strumpet.
1) Jimmy Carter has nothing on me. During the recording of Quadrophenia, I arranged disarmament (locking the gun cabinet) and the frequent 'peacetalks' ("If you shoot Pete in the face now, we probably won't get any more royalties from Tommy"). And after you've had Keith Moon as a houseguest, Kim Jong Il doesn't seem too scary.
2) Giving kids a reason to "Just say no." My anti substance programme's proprietary mix of Keith Moon autopsy photos and It's Hard listening parties ensures that kids will be 'turned off' by drugs at a young age. With paid testimonials from those who lost everything due to drugs and alcohol, we can keep the John Entwistle Band employed and off the streets for pennies a day.
3) A goat curry in every pot, a Honda hatchback in every garage. Santa Garza rates high in the Latin community, and not just because I've "got back" and speak perfect Spanglish. My ingenious immigration policy: replace 'border patrol' with wedding chapels. Thanks to the recent legalisation of gay marriage the odds of finding lasting love based on deep compatibility at the California-Mexico border just doubled!
4) Harnessing the power of wank. The Santa Garza energy plan will study the most prolific source of renewable energy in the world: Roger Waters' toxic testes.
5) Ending terrorism once and for all. We will get absolution for Jimmy Page and then kill him. Within a few months there will be no virgins left in heaven, word will get out and the suicide bombings will dwindle. Unless of course, Robert Plant agrees to tour with Zeppelin, in which case the plan is really win-win.
There are a few reasons why I would make a better VP than that country strumpet.
1) Jimmy Carter has nothing on me. During the recording of Quadrophenia, I arranged disarmament (locking the gun cabinet) and the frequent 'peacetalks' ("If you shoot Pete in the face now, we probably won't get any more royalties from Tommy"). And after you've had Keith Moon as a houseguest, Kim Jong Il doesn't seem too scary.
2) Giving kids a reason to "Just say no." My anti substance programme's proprietary mix of Keith Moon autopsy photos and It's Hard listening parties ensures that kids will be 'turned off' by drugs at a young age. With paid testimonials from those who lost everything due to drugs and alcohol, we can keep the John Entwistle Band employed and off the streets for pennies a day.
3) A goat curry in every pot, a Honda hatchback in every garage. Santa Garza rates high in the Latin community, and not just because I've "got back" and speak perfect Spanglish. My ingenious immigration policy: replace 'border patrol' with wedding chapels. Thanks to the recent legalisation of gay marriage the odds of finding lasting love based on deep compatibility at the California-Mexico border just doubled!
4) Harnessing the power of wank. The Santa Garza energy plan will study the most prolific source of renewable energy in the world: Roger Waters' toxic testes.
5) Ending terrorism once and for all. We will get absolution for Jimmy Page and then kill him. Within a few months there will be no virgins left in heaven, word will get out and the suicide bombings will dwindle. Unless of course, Robert Plant agrees to tour with Zeppelin, in which case the plan is really win-win.