Writerverse: Bingo Table of DOOM! (Passionate & Jump off a Cliff)

Oct 09, 2013 18:46

More Gods and Shadow Creatures. I hope you enjoy!

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The setting sun threw gorgeous colors across the sky, splashing it with oranges, reds, pinks and purples. Nico stopped pacing long enough to peer out the window at the beautiful display. Sighing, he shook his head. He had no right to be so agitated, just because Breccan was out on a date.

It was the first one the poor man had been invited to since his soul projection had been fixed. Due to his semi-divine heritage, Breccan had suffered from a soul projection that drove away potential mortal suitors. His soul had unusual shape and brightness and projected this to everyone, repulsing most people, though Breccan was far from repulsive.

Sighing yet again, Nico went to the kitchen and made himself more coffee. Maybe that would help him feel a bit better? When his coffee was done, he poured himself a cup. He took a sip and tried to be happy for Breccan. After all, Nico had been the one to fix his soul projection so Breccan could find a mortal partner. It had hurt to alter what Nico thought was a beautiful soul projection, but, more than anything, he wanted Breccan to be happy. Shaking his head, Nico told himself it didn’t matter how passionately he felt for Breccan, or how much he loved him. The man, for good reason, wouldn’t want a god for a lover.

The creaking front door interrupted Nico’s thoughts. His heart stopped for a moment -- who could that be at this hour? Everyone else was out or ensconced in their work.

He walked to the front door. Breccan stood at the threshold, leaning against the doorframe. His shoulders sagged, and his eyes stared at the ground. He didn’t appear to notice Nico standing there. Dejection radiated from him. Anyone could tell that his date hadn’t gone well. Nico’s heart hurt to see him like this.

“You’re back early,” he said, the words seeming so small.

Breccan looked up, his gray eyes dull and staring at nothing. He blinked, shaking his head. Only then did he even register Nico’s presence. “Oh, you’re awake,” he murmured.

Nico shrugged. “It’s not really that late.”

“I suppose.”

“Do you -- want any coffee?” Nico said, gesturing at his cup. “I made some.”

“Please,” he murmured.

Nodding, Nico headed back into the kitchen and prepared a cup of coffee for Breccan. He hesitated before returning, resting against the kitchen counter. His friend’s vacant stare unsettled him -- was it normal to be so upset after one failed date? What could Nico say to make it better? He didn’t know, but he forced himself to stand up and return to Breccan.

Nico found the redheaded man on the sofa in the sitting room, still with that vacant stare. Again, he didn’t seem to notice Nico had returned, until he sat down beside him.

“Here’s your coffee,” he said, handing the cup over. Breccan sighed as he took it.

“Thank you,” Breccan said, sipping his drink.

Maybe a fraction of the usual brightness returned to the man’s eyes when he drank the coffee. Nico managed the faintest of smiles at that. He said nothing since he had no idea what he could say, insteading sipping his own coffee.

“I should just...jump off a cliff or something,” Breccan muttered.

Hearing that, Nico choked on his drink. It burned his throat. “W-what?” he spluttered, hoping he had misheard.

“I should jump off a cliff,” he repeated.

“Excuse me?”

Breccan shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I? It’s obvious I’m hopeless.”

“You’re not hopeless,” Nico said, shaking his head.

“Aren’t I? I can’t keep a simple date,” he said, his eyes growing even duller than before. “It shouldn’t be that hard.”

Nico took another sip of his coffee. This situation left him floundering, even as Breccan’s words sent sharp pains through his chest. “What -- what happened with Finbar?” he murmured. He hated to admit it, but curiosity wiggled in his mind. Nico wanted to know just what had happened, even if he had no real right to ask.

“He almost kissed me,” Breccan said, deflating. “But he stopped himself. He said that I -- that I…”

“That you what?”

“That I didn’t seem to like him all that much,” he muttered, taking a deep breath. “...he said I -- said I...seemed like I went out with because I just wanted a date with anybody.”

Silence ensued after Breccan’s statement, sad and heavy. Nico wondered if this Finbar had a point. He knew about his friend’s deep loneliness. From what little he knew of mortal emotions, would make sense for Breccan to accept the first offer of a date, no matter who asked. After all, the man had waited years to have so much as a spark of genuine interest from another man. Even so, Nico didn’t want to say that aloud -- he had no desire to hurt Breccan further.

“Do you think it might be true?” Breccan asked, breaking the heavy silence though his voice didn’t rise above a whisper.

“That you...went out with Finbar because you wanted a date, no matter who it was?” Nico murmured, sipping his coffee. His chest felt tight talking about this.

Breccan nodded. “Yes,” he said.

“Perhaps,” he sighed. “I can’t read your mind, but...it would make some sense. You -- haven’t ever had a proper date before, right?” He bit his lip.

“Never. Not once.”

Nico shifted in his seat, unable to get comfortable. He grasped his coffee cup tighter than he needed to, his knuckles blanching.

“How am I supposed to get a date if wanting one too much means I can’t have one?” Breccan muttered, leaning back against the sofa.

“I -- I don’t know.”

“What a miserable paradox,” he said, the bitterness in his voice obvious as he stared into his coffee. “Am I destined to be alone, then? Am I truly so desperate and unlovable, even with my soul projection fixed?”

Nico sighed and looked over at Breccan. “You’re not unlovable, but you’ll never believe me, will you?”

“Probably not,” he muttered, meeting Nico’s eyes. “I just -- is it so much to ask to have someone like me while I like them? I think I’m incapable of it.”

“Maybe you need to give it time?” he said, wishing he could tell Breccan how he felt. Breccan’s own desperation would push people away, making the desperation worse. Even Nico, with his limited knowledge, could see that, but he had no idea how to fix it. It seemed like Breccan stayed mired in a place of wanting most what he couldn’t have. Events seemed to repeat themselves for the poor man -- Nico recalled the conversation where he had told Breccan about his unusual soul shape. Despite fixing that, the essential problem remained the same.

“Time?” Breccan said. “Maybe…” He didn’t sound convinced, at all.

“I don’t know what else you can do,” Nico said, turning his gaze away from the redheaded man. It hurt too much to see his beautiful features dulled by so much hopelessness.

Everything about the situation hurt too much. He wished he could help Breccan find someone, even if that meant he would never get the man for himself. Nico wanted nothing more than for his beloved to achieve happiness, but it looked like true happiness eluded both of them.

trigger: suicide, character: nico, writerverse: table of doom, series: gods and shadow creatures, rating: pg, original fiction, writerverse, character: breccan

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