Personal Drama
This is Part Twenty Five in The Meeting of Breccan & Finbar.
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“This book is utter trash, you realize,” Maris said.
“I know,” I muttered, “but it’s the only book we’ve found with anything relevant in it.”
She sighed. “That’s the sad part. Some delusional scaremongering opportunist wrote a cheap book declaring the end of the world by God Eaters and it turns out to be fucking true, or at least possible.”
“Whatever, it’s all the same bullshit to me,” Isabel said.
We sat around the kitchen table, sipping coffee and discussing what to do next. The prophecy book I had picked up for cheap entertainment turned out to predict recent events with disturbing accuracy, including Finbar’s shadows and the attack on the Gods Council.
It even had a reference to a “fallen god,” which could all too easily mean Egan’s death. I wondered if it might refer to Nico and how he wanted to fall away from the beliefs of his people.
Finbar kept shooting me these odd glances, like he wanted to say something and couldn’t. I didn’t like the way his eyes kept falling on me. After what he said to me before, any looks from Finbar just evoked memories of how he had hurt me.
“I’m -- I’m sorry!” Finbar blurted out.
I turned to look at him. “Excuse me? Sorry for what, exactly?”
“E-everything,” he stammered. “For saying you wanted what Egan did to you, for sleeping with Isabel to make you jealous and for saying I wasn’t sorry before.”
“You’re apologizing?” I know he just said he was, but I couldn’t believe it.
He muttered, “Yes, I’m apologizing. I shouldn’t have done those things. And I’m sorry to Isabel for using her.”
“Whatever, it was fun,” Isabel said. “It’s not like I expected you to have actual feelings for me when it was painfully obvious you’re still so in love with Breccan.”
“I’m not,” Finbar protested.
Maris raised an eyebrow. “It’s obvious you are. Now, personal drama is fun and all, but I think we have more important things to deal with, like how the world might be ending if we don’t do something about it.”
“What can we do about it?” Nico asked.
Isabel glared at Nico. “Shouldn’t your -- people be the ones doing something?”
He stammered, “At -- at the Gods Council, they didn’t even seem that interested in the attack once it was over. They -- made us leave before they knew for sure nothing else was coming.”
Maris muttered, “I wouldn’t trust gods to get anything done. They’re too busy admiring themselves and messing with innocent mortals.”
Nico blushed at that comment. I gave him what I hoped a sympathetic look and tried to take his hand. He, strangely enough, refused it, actually inching away from me. What was going on with him? Did it have something to do with the revelation that Finbar still loved me? That had nothing to do with what I might feel for Nico.
“It’s a good question; what can we do about this?” I asked.
A bundle of dread formed in my stomach, both from the realization that the world was in danger and from how oddly Nico was behaving. If I were honest, it was Nico’s refusal to hold my hand that bothered me more in this moment.
“I’m not sure what we can do,” Maris admitted.
“Do we really know for sure that anything’s coming?” Finbar said.
I didn’t want to look at him, but I met his eyes anyway in order to impress my point upon him. “We know. Events in the book line up too well with what has happened recently. You can’t deny them, though I’m sure you do like denying your feelings in favor of bitterness.”
“Remember, now is not the time for personal drama,” Maris grumbled.
I thought I had a good point. Finbar did like denying things. His ill-timed confession irritated me because it seemed to be pushing Nico away. I didn’t want to lose my new partner over pointless conflict from my old one. Why confess now, Finbar? Why couldn’t you wait until we were in private?
“I do have one idea,” Maris said.
“And what would that be?” Nico wondered.
I tried to catch Nico’s eye, and he refused to look at me.
Maris sipped her coffee. “We can try to find my old mage mentor. She might be able to help us, or at least point us in a better direction. Right now, we’re lost and useless. I don’t fucking like that.” She looked around at us. “So, does everyone think that’s a reasonable plan? Because that’s what we’re doing. If you all want to stay in my house, you’ll come with me.”
Everyone nodded their agreement. Nobody, it seemed, wanted to become homeless. I know I didn’t, and I had absolutely nowhere to go and no real skills I could trade for coin or lodging.
“If that’s all, we’ll set out tomorrow,” Maris said.
People started to leave the table, including Nico, who didn’t spare me so much as a glance. Why did he have to behave in such a way? My eyes stung as I drank the remainder of my coffee. It gave me some energy, at least. I needed energy for what I had to do, which was confront Nico about how he had acted.
I wanted to be with him, not Finbar. My old lover and I had had our chance to work out, and it wasn’t meant to be. Our doomed relationship hurt my heart, but I didn’t want to go back to Finbar.
Nico made me feel cared for, and there was such a warmth about him. I felt okay when around Nico in a way I rarely had felt okay since meeting Egan. Why couldn’t he see that?
After I finished my coffee, I hesitantly ascended the stairs, hoping to find Nico in our room. When I open the door, I found him lying on the bed, sobbing. I sat down beside him. Nico tried to turn away from me, but I grabbed his shoulder.
“Nico, don’t,” I murmured.
“Let me go,” he said.
I didn’t slacken my grip at all. “I’m not letting you go.”
Nico glared at me through teary eyes. “Why are you bothering when your real lover wants you back?”
“Excuse me?” I huffed. “Finbar isn’t my real lover.”
“He apologized,” Nico sniffed. “Finbar is more sincere than I thought.”
I offered him a sad smile. “He’s got nothing on you in sincerity, Nico.”
Before Nico could object, I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead and finally let go of his shoulder. His eyes widened in surprise.
“You think so much of me?” he asked.
“I do,” I whispered.
Nico wondered, “Why?”
“I can tell that you care about me. You might be the sweetest man I’ve ever met,” I said.
He made this face like he couldn’t believe what I had said. I didn’t think it was anything so extraordinary.
Nico breathed, “You -- you truly think of me as a person, don’t you? Despite everything.”
I said, “Yes, I do.”
Smiling ever so slightly, Nico sat up. Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I hugged him back. He wept in my arms, much like he had after I had overheard him telling Maris he might grow to love me.
Whatever doubts Nico had, I hoped I could assuage them. I didn’t want them to tear us apart like Egan had torn Finbar and me apart. While I didn’t know exactly what I felt for Nico, I knew my feelings could grow into something real and meaningful, if given time and a proper chance to thrive. I only hoped I would get that chance.
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written for 500themes prompt #292 - "When Innocence Meets Its Death"
next chapter
previous chapter
---------
“This book is utter trash, you realize,” Maris said.
“I know,” I muttered, “but it’s the only book we’ve found with anything relevant in it.”
She sighed. “That’s the sad part. Some delusional scaremongering opportunist wrote a cheap book declaring the end of the world by God Eaters and it turns out to be fucking true, or at least possible.”
“Whatever, it’s all the same bullshit to me,” Isabel said.
We sat around the kitchen table, sipping coffee and discussing what to do next. The prophecy book I had picked up for cheap entertainment turned out to predict recent events with disturbing accuracy, including Finbar’s shadows and the attack on the Gods Council.
It even had a reference to a “fallen god,” which could all too easily mean Egan’s death. I wondered if it might refer to Nico and how he wanted to fall away from the beliefs of his people.
Finbar kept shooting me these odd glances, like he wanted to say something and couldn’t. I didn’t like the way his eyes kept falling on me. After what he said to me before, any looks from Finbar just evoked memories of how he had hurt me.
“I’m -- I’m sorry!” Finbar blurted out.
I turned to look at him. “Excuse me? Sorry for what, exactly?”
“E-everything,” he stammered. “For saying you wanted what Egan did to you, for sleeping with Isabel to make you jealous and for saying I wasn’t sorry before.”
“You’re apologizing?” I know he just said he was, but I couldn’t believe it.
He muttered, “Yes, I’m apologizing. I shouldn’t have done those things. And I’m sorry to Isabel for using her.”
“Whatever, it was fun,” Isabel said. “It’s not like I expected you to have actual feelings for me when it was painfully obvious you’re still so in love with Breccan.”
“I’m not,” Finbar protested.
Maris raised an eyebrow. “It’s obvious you are. Now, personal drama is fun and all, but I think we have more important things to deal with, like how the world might be ending if we don’t do something about it.”
“What can we do about it?” Nico asked.
Isabel glared at Nico. “Shouldn’t your -- people be the ones doing something?”
He stammered, “At -- at the Gods Council, they didn’t even seem that interested in the attack once it was over. They -- made us leave before they knew for sure nothing else was coming.”
Maris muttered, “I wouldn’t trust gods to get anything done. They’re too busy admiring themselves and messing with innocent mortals.”
Nico blushed at that comment. I gave him what I hoped a sympathetic look and tried to take his hand. He, strangely enough, refused it, actually inching away from me. What was going on with him? Did it have something to do with the revelation that Finbar still loved me? That had nothing to do with what I might feel for Nico.
“It’s a good question; what can we do about this?” I asked.
A bundle of dread formed in my stomach, both from the realization that the world was in danger and from how oddly Nico was behaving. If I were honest, it was Nico’s refusal to hold my hand that bothered me more in this moment.
“I’m not sure what we can do,” Maris admitted.
“Do we really know for sure that anything’s coming?” Finbar said.
I didn’t want to look at him, but I met his eyes anyway in order to impress my point upon him. “We know. Events in the book line up too well with what has happened recently. You can’t deny them, though I’m sure you do like denying your feelings in favor of bitterness.”
“Remember, now is not the time for personal drama,” Maris grumbled.
I thought I had a good point. Finbar did like denying things. His ill-timed confession irritated me because it seemed to be pushing Nico away. I didn’t want to lose my new partner over pointless conflict from my old one. Why confess now, Finbar? Why couldn’t you wait until we were in private?
“I do have one idea,” Maris said.
“And what would that be?” Nico wondered.
I tried to catch Nico’s eye, and he refused to look at me.
Maris sipped her coffee. “We can try to find my old mage mentor. She might be able to help us, or at least point us in a better direction. Right now, we’re lost and useless. I don’t fucking like that.” She looked around at us. “So, does everyone think that’s a reasonable plan? Because that’s what we’re doing. If you all want to stay in my house, you’ll come with me.”
Everyone nodded their agreement. Nobody, it seemed, wanted to become homeless. I know I didn’t, and I had absolutely nowhere to go and no real skills I could trade for coin or lodging.
“If that’s all, we’ll set out tomorrow,” Maris said.
People started to leave the table, including Nico, who didn’t spare me so much as a glance. Why did he have to behave in such a way? My eyes stung as I drank the remainder of my coffee. It gave me some energy, at least. I needed energy for what I had to do, which was confront Nico about how he had acted.
I wanted to be with him, not Finbar. My old lover and I had had our chance to work out, and it wasn’t meant to be. Our doomed relationship hurt my heart, but I didn’t want to go back to Finbar.
Nico made me feel cared for, and there was such a warmth about him. I felt okay when around Nico in a way I rarely had felt okay since meeting Egan. Why couldn’t he see that?
After I finished my coffee, I hesitantly ascended the stairs, hoping to find Nico in our room. When I open the door, I found him lying on the bed, sobbing. I sat down beside him. Nico tried to turn away from me, but I grabbed his shoulder.
“Nico, don’t,” I murmured.
“Let me go,” he said.
I didn’t slacken my grip at all. “I’m not letting you go.”
Nico glared at me through teary eyes. “Why are you bothering when your real lover wants you back?”
“Excuse me?” I huffed. “Finbar isn’t my real lover.”
“He apologized,” Nico sniffed. “Finbar is more sincere than I thought.”
I offered him a sad smile. “He’s got nothing on you in sincerity, Nico.”
Before Nico could object, I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead and finally let go of his shoulder. His eyes widened in surprise.
“You think so much of me?” he asked.
“I do,” I whispered.
Nico wondered, “Why?”
“I can tell that you care about me. You might be the sweetest man I’ve ever met,” I said.
He made this face like he couldn’t believe what I had said. I didn’t think it was anything so extraordinary.
Nico breathed, “You -- you truly think of me as a person, don’t you? Despite everything.”
I said, “Yes, I do.”
Smiling ever so slightly, Nico sat up. Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I hugged him back. He wept in my arms, much like he had after I had overheard him telling Maris he might grow to love me.
Whatever doubts Nico had, I hoped I could assuage them. I didn’t want them to tear us apart like Egan had torn Finbar and me apart. While I didn’t know exactly what I felt for Nico, I knew my feelings could grow into something real and meaningful, if given time and a proper chance to thrive. I only hoped I would get that chance.
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written for 500themes prompt #292 - "When Innocence Meets Its Death"
next chapter