Challenge #23: Things That Go Bump In the Night
Title: By Candlelight
Word Count: 1,472
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): Mackenzie/Zachary
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/etc): Death
Summary: Mackenzie lights a candle on the second anniversary of Zachary's death.
It's midnight, and I shouldn't be out here. My parents would kill me if they knew, but I don't care. Tonight is the anniversary of Zachary's death. I'm going to light a candle for him, because nobody else seems to care. Not after two years, which isn't all that long. His twin sister Allison was killed in the same car crash, and people still light candles for her because she was popular. It's not fair.
I reach the huge old maple tree in the middle of the field behind my house. This used to be “our place” where we would just hang out, cuddling and talking about nothing for hours and hours on end. I hold the candle in its stand tightly, my hands shaking. Carefully, I kneel and place the little blue candle on the ground. Blue was Zachary's favorite color. Just thinking about that makes me tear up, but I pull the matchbook out of my jacket pocket. Taking a deep breath, I will my hands not to shake too much. I manage to get a match lit, though a gust of wind nearly blows it out. Thankfully, I'm able to light the candle.
“You should still be here,” I whisper, though Zachary can't actually hear me.
Another gust of wind blows by, chillier than the last. I hug myself, drawing my jacket closer to me. I shouldn't have worn my skimpy blue sundress, as it's now fall, with winter on the way. It was Zachary's favorite of mine, though, so I wore it in honor of him.
Strangely, the flame on the candle does not go out. If anything, it burns brighter. Confused, I stare at it. That shouldn't be possible. The wind keeps blowing, now coming in frigid swirls. Leaves whirl about me, along with other debris of the field. My heart starts to hammer. I feel as if...something watches me nearby. I want to run back home, though my feet have frozen to the ground. What is going on?
“Hello?” I call out.
“Mackenzie?”
My heart beats yet faster; I definitely heard my name through the wind, but I can't see anybody. I look around, and all I notice is the dark field. The too-bright candle casts eerie shadows. Somehow, the wind blows even faster, and the swirls seem to concentrate in one spot, creating a column of debris. Then, the wind just stops. The scraps of debris fall to the ground, revealing...
“Impossible!” I exclaim.
Zachary stands before me.
I blink, trying to clear my vision of the strange apparition that should not exist.
He smiles, though his eyes are sad. “You remembered.”
“You - you can't exist,” I stammer. If I could move, I would run.
“I shouldn't exist, not like this,” Zachary agrees. “I'm sort of stuck here.”
“Stuck?” None of this makes sense. That can't really be him!
“Yeah, stuck. You remember how there was a joint funeral for me and Allison? And it was all about how wonderful she was?”
I remembered it all too well. “They hardly mentioned you,” I say.
Zachary sighs. “I never got over it, how I was always in her shadow. Never as good grades, never as talented, never as loved. The jealousy...has bound me to the Earth, more or less.”
While I couldn't really be talking to him, it did make sense what he said. Zachary had always been in the “perfect” Allison's shadow. Most people loved her and ignored him, except for me. I always found his sister annoying and smug, looking down on “lesser” humans but too nice about it to be called on her behavior. Zachary, on the other hand, felt like an actual person I could relate to. Not that I believed in ghosts, but, if one were to exist, it would be like this apparition I see now.
“I'm sorry,” I whisper.
“You don't have to apologize. After all, you're one of the only ones who cared.” His eyes look like tears might fall from them.
“I know, but I'm sorry things were so terrible for you.”
Tears do spill from Zachary's huge brown eyes. Without thinking, I reach out and try to touch his face to wipe the tears away. Much to my surprise, I can touch him. He feels solid and almost alive. I gasp in surprise and draw my hand back. In the flickering light of the candle with the too-bright flame, I can see Zachary's tears on my fingers.
“How?” I breathe.
“Only on the anniversary of my...passing am I so solid. And only if someone remembers and truly cares enough to see me. Last year, I...didn't truly believe you were really there. I was too hurt. But you came back this year.”
I nearly start crying. “Of course I came back!”
The words I really want to say won't come. While Zachary was alive, I never told him I loved him. Only after he was gone did I even realize my feelings. Now that he's here, more or less, I can't even bring myself to say it. My cheeks burn from the shame of keeping silent.
Instead of declaring my love, I wrap him in a tight hug. He's so warm, it really is almost like he's alive and still truly here with me. Zachary reciprocates the embrace, and I rest my head on his shoulder. From here, I can feel his body shake with sobs. I wish I could make him feel better, but I don't know what to do.
I ask, “Remember when we used to sit by this tree and just cuddle for hours?”
His voice cracks as he speaks. “Yes, I remember that. It was one of the few times I was actually happy.”
“We - we could do that now,” I offer. “Just...sit here, if you want. And cuddle, like old times.”
“It's the middle of the night! I don't want you to get in trouble,” he tells me.
“I don't care,” I say. It's true. Right now, I don't care if I get in trouble.
“Alright,” Zachary agrees.
We sit down by the the tree, next to the candle with the too-bright flame. It provides heat as the night grows colder. I don't say anything as I cuddle up to him. In his arms, I feel a kind of warmth I haven't felt in a long time. Just as Zachary never got over his troubles in life, I never got over losing him. It boggles my mind the way people ignored his sweetness in favor of Allison's “perfection.”
“I'm sorry,” I murmur.
“I already said you didn't need to apologize.”
“I know, but it's just...not fair how things happened.” I sigh.
Zachary says, “No, it wasn't fair. But that's how things go, isn't it?”
“It shouldn't be. Not - not when I loved you. When I still love you.” The words spill from my mouth before I realize I said them.
I feel him startle in my arms. He wonders, voice full of surprise, “You...loved me? But you never said...”
“I should have said. I didn't realize until it was too late, though. And now - now you're not really here, are you?”
Zachary's voice is unbearably sad. “No, I'm not really here.”
I can't take the sadness, so I lean in and kiss him. Zachary's lips meet mine, and my body floods with warmth. He hugs me tighter. I feel his body against mine and wish for nothing more than his return to life. That's impossible, I know. When I finally pull away, tears streak his face. Mine must be no better.
That chilly wind picks up again. My stomach sinks. “Zachary, you're not going now, are you?”
He nods. “You...released me from the Earth with your declaration of love and your kiss. I know now that someone did love me. That's - that's enough for me to move on.”
I start sobbing. “I don't want you to go! I love you, Zachary!”
He says, “I don't want to go, either, but if I don't go now, I'll never be able to leave. I love you too, Mackenzie.”
The wind picks up its pace, surrounding him again with the debris of the field. Words fail me; I can do nothing but sob, my whole body shaking with the force of my despair. When the wind dies now, Zachary is gone. The candle with the too-bright flame goes out, leaving me in darkness. That's nothing, however, compared to the darkness that wants to swallow me now that I know deep in my heart I'll never see my love again.
Word Count: 1,472
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings (if any): Mackenzie/Zachary
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con/etc): Death
Summary: Mackenzie lights a candle on the second anniversary of Zachary's death.
It's midnight, and I shouldn't be out here. My parents would kill me if they knew, but I don't care. Tonight is the anniversary of Zachary's death. I'm going to light a candle for him, because nobody else seems to care. Not after two years, which isn't all that long. His twin sister Allison was killed in the same car crash, and people still light candles for her because she was popular. It's not fair.
I reach the huge old maple tree in the middle of the field behind my house. This used to be “our place” where we would just hang out, cuddling and talking about nothing for hours and hours on end. I hold the candle in its stand tightly, my hands shaking. Carefully, I kneel and place the little blue candle on the ground. Blue was Zachary's favorite color. Just thinking about that makes me tear up, but I pull the matchbook out of my jacket pocket. Taking a deep breath, I will my hands not to shake too much. I manage to get a match lit, though a gust of wind nearly blows it out. Thankfully, I'm able to light the candle.
“You should still be here,” I whisper, though Zachary can't actually hear me.
Another gust of wind blows by, chillier than the last. I hug myself, drawing my jacket closer to me. I shouldn't have worn my skimpy blue sundress, as it's now fall, with winter on the way. It was Zachary's favorite of mine, though, so I wore it in honor of him.
Strangely, the flame on the candle does not go out. If anything, it burns brighter. Confused, I stare at it. That shouldn't be possible. The wind keeps blowing, now coming in frigid swirls. Leaves whirl about me, along with other debris of the field. My heart starts to hammer. I feel as if...something watches me nearby. I want to run back home, though my feet have frozen to the ground. What is going on?
“Hello?” I call out.
“Mackenzie?”
My heart beats yet faster; I definitely heard my name through the wind, but I can't see anybody. I look around, and all I notice is the dark field. The too-bright candle casts eerie shadows. Somehow, the wind blows even faster, and the swirls seem to concentrate in one spot, creating a column of debris. Then, the wind just stops. The scraps of debris fall to the ground, revealing...
“Impossible!” I exclaim.
Zachary stands before me.
I blink, trying to clear my vision of the strange apparition that should not exist.
He smiles, though his eyes are sad. “You remembered.”
“You - you can't exist,” I stammer. If I could move, I would run.
“I shouldn't exist, not like this,” Zachary agrees. “I'm sort of stuck here.”
“Stuck?” None of this makes sense. That can't really be him!
“Yeah, stuck. You remember how there was a joint funeral for me and Allison? And it was all about how wonderful she was?”
I remembered it all too well. “They hardly mentioned you,” I say.
Zachary sighs. “I never got over it, how I was always in her shadow. Never as good grades, never as talented, never as loved. The jealousy...has bound me to the Earth, more or less.”
While I couldn't really be talking to him, it did make sense what he said. Zachary had always been in the “perfect” Allison's shadow. Most people loved her and ignored him, except for me. I always found his sister annoying and smug, looking down on “lesser” humans but too nice about it to be called on her behavior. Zachary, on the other hand, felt like an actual person I could relate to. Not that I believed in ghosts, but, if one were to exist, it would be like this apparition I see now.
“I'm sorry,” I whisper.
“You don't have to apologize. After all, you're one of the only ones who cared.” His eyes look like tears might fall from them.
“I know, but I'm sorry things were so terrible for you.”
Tears do spill from Zachary's huge brown eyes. Without thinking, I reach out and try to touch his face to wipe the tears away. Much to my surprise, I can touch him. He feels solid and almost alive. I gasp in surprise and draw my hand back. In the flickering light of the candle with the too-bright flame, I can see Zachary's tears on my fingers.
“How?” I breathe.
“Only on the anniversary of my...passing am I so solid. And only if someone remembers and truly cares enough to see me. Last year, I...didn't truly believe you were really there. I was too hurt. But you came back this year.”
I nearly start crying. “Of course I came back!”
The words I really want to say won't come. While Zachary was alive, I never told him I loved him. Only after he was gone did I even realize my feelings. Now that he's here, more or less, I can't even bring myself to say it. My cheeks burn from the shame of keeping silent.
Instead of declaring my love, I wrap him in a tight hug. He's so warm, it really is almost like he's alive and still truly here with me. Zachary reciprocates the embrace, and I rest my head on his shoulder. From here, I can feel his body shake with sobs. I wish I could make him feel better, but I don't know what to do.
I ask, “Remember when we used to sit by this tree and just cuddle for hours?”
His voice cracks as he speaks. “Yes, I remember that. It was one of the few times I was actually happy.”
“We - we could do that now,” I offer. “Just...sit here, if you want. And cuddle, like old times.”
“It's the middle of the night! I don't want you to get in trouble,” he tells me.
“I don't care,” I say. It's true. Right now, I don't care if I get in trouble.
“Alright,” Zachary agrees.
We sit down by the the tree, next to the candle with the too-bright flame. It provides heat as the night grows colder. I don't say anything as I cuddle up to him. In his arms, I feel a kind of warmth I haven't felt in a long time. Just as Zachary never got over his troubles in life, I never got over losing him. It boggles my mind the way people ignored his sweetness in favor of Allison's “perfection.”
“I'm sorry,” I murmur.
“I already said you didn't need to apologize.”
“I know, but it's just...not fair how things happened.” I sigh.
Zachary says, “No, it wasn't fair. But that's how things go, isn't it?”
“It shouldn't be. Not - not when I loved you. When I still love you.” The words spill from my mouth before I realize I said them.
I feel him startle in my arms. He wonders, voice full of surprise, “You...loved me? But you never said...”
“I should have said. I didn't realize until it was too late, though. And now - now you're not really here, are you?”
Zachary's voice is unbearably sad. “No, I'm not really here.”
I can't take the sadness, so I lean in and kiss him. Zachary's lips meet mine, and my body floods with warmth. He hugs me tighter. I feel his body against mine and wish for nothing more than his return to life. That's impossible, I know. When I finally pull away, tears streak his face. Mine must be no better.
That chilly wind picks up again. My stomach sinks. “Zachary, you're not going now, are you?”
He nods. “You...released me from the Earth with your declaration of love and your kiss. I know now that someone did love me. That's - that's enough for me to move on.”
I start sobbing. “I don't want you to go! I love you, Zachary!”
He says, “I don't want to go, either, but if I don't go now, I'll never be able to leave. I love you too, Mackenzie.”
The wind picks up its pace, surrounding him again with the debris of the field. Words fail me; I can do nothing but sob, my whole body shaking with the force of my despair. When the wind dies now, Zachary is gone. The candle with the too-bright flame goes out, leaving me in darkness. That's nothing, however, compared to the darkness that wants to swallow me now that I know deep in my heart I'll never see my love again.