It's been a while...

Nov 29, 2009 03:58

wow....i keep forgetting that i have this journal. well i'll be damned...somehow, i feel very comfortable knowing that i have this. i think i may have to update it more often. i say that all the time, but i never do. this time, i hope, i actually will...
i went through all of my old posts. i deleted some, and giggled at others, realizing that i, was a very normal human girl.AND i was one of those kids that i make fun of ^_^ i think thats why i make fun of them, is because i secretly know that i was one. i was a curious girl (who did nothing but drool over guys). now, i am somewhat different than the girl i once was, but i do miss being 17. i think, im still young enough that i can still recapture some of that. i mean, most of it is gone (i.e. the drugs hehe) but other than that, yeah.
even though, most of the people i used to talk to on here are gone, i still have the urge to tell what ive been up to. sadly, i cant really think of much stuff off the top of my head. other than the fact that ive been with steve for 2 years 8 months, i cant think of much. either way, lets try:
i have taken up:
leather
chainmaille (kinda)
dread falls and foam falls
graphic design
i have fish now (3 bettas[seperate tanks of course] and 3 danios)
been with steve for just under 3 years
have decided to go to school for meteorology (forecasting and severe weather co-ordination)
storm chasing (not yet been on the field, but WILL be chasing this spring)
falling in love with steampunk
steve has been living with me and my family for a year now
i have 2 rooms in the basement ^_^
sadly, i dont have a job, but there is a really good reason for that
is starting a diet on dec.12 (dont ask about the random date ^_^)
has been watching way too much george lopez and the nanny (seriously, im starting to talk like a mexican jew)
cant wait to start biking in the spring
i really have to poop
cooking!!!
...
i cant really think of anything else. hopefully, next year will be one of the best years of my life. this last year, was one of the hardest i can ever remember. i havent had a job, neither has steve. and i lost my grandmother in march. that was hard. and that, really, is why i dont have a job. i have to be here to help my mom cook and clean. it's hard, and its stressful, but its okay. i can handle it and im doing a pretty good job of it. however, once spring comes around, i'll get my car fixed, and then go out and look for a job. my mom will understand, but with the circumstances of everything, a job right now is just NOT a good idea. i have to make sure everything is okay here. more than likely, ill have to look for an over night job, that way im here during the day to make sure that shit doesnt hit the fan. it sucks, because i love being out at night, but i can do it as long as i have the equivalent of a weekend somewhere in there, ill be okay ( as in i have at least 2 days off a week)
also, another reason why this year has been so hard is because most of my friends dont seem to understand that i dont have money. most have stopped calling me, stopped wanting to hang out, and have all but abandoned me. it sound sappy and melodramatic, but its true. im sorry i dont have a job, im sorry i dont have money, im sorry my car is fucked and i need a ride, and im sorry its hard for me to go out and party/go to a bar, but that is my life right now. it really isnt easy! but ive been doing my best, and if my best is not good enough for my so called friends, then what is? and at that point, does it matter? im bitterly loyal to all of my good friends, so why can they not do the same for me? i can think of 2 of these "good friends" that had just as hard of a time as i do...and i never left them. i had a job, they didnt. i payed for gas. i payed for coffee at dennys. i payed for their beer. but i guess they cant do the same for me when i have none of these things. granted, they had a hard time for only a month or two, but mine is on going. mine is very different. but in the end, i think this is a test. and im not afraid of it. i know now who my best friend is and i owe him my blood. and when i get some money, im taking him drinking ^_^
anyways, them moral of the story is that my year has been up and has been down, but i i know it will get better! i have my friend(s), i have my art, i have my research and i have my steve. i really dont need anythin else ... do i? ^_-
Previous post
Up
[]