(no subject)
God doesn't care about ...
what you wore in High School,
if you were prom king or queen,
if you were popular,
who you dated,
if you did your home work or not,
if you skipped a class once just so your "friends" though you were cool,
how many times a week you hung out with your friends,
if you went to all the varsity football games,
or what your first car was,
he doesn't care if...
you had a huge house,
a huge pool,
or huge backyard,
He doesn't care if...
You had the newest computers,
television sets,
games for the newest game sets,
or the coolest stereo,
He only cares how you acted,
and who you really were in your heart.
So we ask ourselves why we still do,get,or have those things?
because even though it doesn't matter to Him, it still matters to us for some weird reason.
I for one am tired of it,
tired of crying at night because the guy I like has a girlfriend,
even though he has been flirting with me for two weeks now,
I am tired of crying because I am trying my hardest at school,
and yet I still can't seem to please my parents enough to get a "good job honey" or
a "well done sweety" and instead get a " what is happening there" or a "your biology is aweful close to a "B"."
I am also tired of having to quit things i enjoy because my parents once again start expecting more from me,
and start making those things I enjoy, a job more then a pleasure.
I am tired of living a life that is fake,
and being someone I am not just so that I might be excepted by others.
I am tired of being literally tired because I can't sleep at night in fear that I might not wake up,
or that when I do fianlly wake up, the people i love most won't be there anymore.
I am tired of fearing that if i make one mistake
my parents won't love or trust me anymore and that God will be displeased with me
and decide that I am not worth the trouble
or that if I make one single stupid mistake
my little sister won't look up to me or her trust will be broken
or even worse... that she will follow me and my mistake.
I am tired of crying, worrying, fearing, faking, and stressing, and yet I can't do anything about it but pray
and I am even scared that if I pray over something as silly as this,
God will get fustrated and that while he is trying to answer my prayer,
someone else with greater needs like a healing from death
will die cause God was busy trying to answer my foolish prayers.
I'm just tired...
(if this brings you down I am truely sorry but I had to get this off my chest)