(no subject)
january 26
sydney
` double decker buses. bright mari golds.
` distracting a broken heart with
` sushi. shopping w/ ante (.bisexual. leo. 6'4". conscienceless.)
` a homeless man asks me for $ and even though i say no, he says, 'you look pretty today'.
` cigarettes on dirty steps. flipping thru glossy new albums.
` (sneaker pimps, splinter.) (coldplay, parachutes.)
` shoplifting garnier cleanser. filling lolly cups with light-softening powder (clair, lite) and kohl pencils and nailpolish, gummi bears to conceal them, $3.75 for outrageously priced cosmetics.
` dying my hair licorice black. getting a bettie page fringe, because the girl in house of fetish had one, & looked cute.
` melona from the japanese supermarket. softly glowing, honeydew green stick of ice cream. tastes exactly like melon. but real melons are less calorific.
` lingerie with pussycat skulls on them. living dead dollies in coffins. a bondage kilt.
` white helium balloon tied to my puppydog collar. trailing behind like a pet.
` water pistols but no black. flamingo snowglobes. kitsch glowing jesus. pussycat ears.
jade's house was lovely, a converted doctor's surgery surrounded by a stupid number of little churches. boy and girl signs on the toilet doors, no smoking signs, but they all smoke. its nice to be around people who seem not to exist without a cigarette extending delicately from their fingers. nobody smokes in queensland, its lonely. the house is all glass and green and aquaria and clean and fotos and records. and boys eyes spinning like turntables all lost like a boy alice in wonderland. maybe thats why i like jade's boyfriend sascha so much, completely daft and curious, just like alice. always seems so lost, but happy to be there.
tirion's little terrace house, ultimately girly, curly naughty fairy scrawls on the walls, lots of pink things, beauty products, mirrors, videos strewn everywhere, evian, fairy lights. i walked to the bay with my new fringe and a much needed new pack of marlboro lites. chain smoked awfully and completely oxygenated my existence. spoke to this person i've known longer than anybody, listened to her telling me i'm visionary, i need to apply to nida, talked about lack of focus, energy, ideas. the only thing standing between me and creative genius is the constant, overwhelming, lightbulb after lightbulb above my head, a hundred ideas a day, nowhere near enough time to massage them all into reality. and i can't handle favouritism. oh. but when i get an idea, i don't get a lightbulb over my head. i get a chandeleir.
overwhelmed by compliments and attention. everybody wants to touch me. in a room with five people and they all fight over who wants to massage me, even the girls. "oh my god, that can't be a bone its too big."
- yr so regal.
- no. she's just feline.
heidi tells me, hee hee, this morning dave said you were beautiful. it came up in a conversation about drugs and thinness. apparently they attribute my thinness to cocaine use. sascha upsets jade by saying, that skirt looks better on kristy-lee, because she has good legs. jade is visibly cut up. instead of stopping there, he says, what? kristy-lee has really good legs. i'm noting down the things that appeal to narcissus, why? because back then, when this happened, my heart was broken and i needed to cling to anything, anything that would make me okay, even surface things. skim the surface when everythings black, it stops you from drowning.
'i'd rather drown than swim. i can't walk on water'.
ante bound my wrists with black gaffa tape, and chained me to a curtain rod, left me in an empty room with poetry painted on the walls. we were so bored. reading drug induced passages by moonlight, he left me there for so long, short skirt and arms above my head, and i'm thinking, this is sort of fun, but what if this were real? what if i were kidnapped? i got a chill but just as i did ante came back finally and untied me. then he chained me to the table by my puppydog collar while we watched interview with a vampire. cuter than it sounds.
sydney
` double decker buses. bright mari golds.
` distracting a broken heart with
` sushi. shopping w/ ante (.bisexual. leo. 6'4". conscienceless.)
` a homeless man asks me for $ and even though i say no, he says, 'you look pretty today'.
` cigarettes on dirty steps. flipping thru glossy new albums.
` (sneaker pimps, splinter.) (coldplay, parachutes.)
` shoplifting garnier cleanser. filling lolly cups with light-softening powder (clair, lite) and kohl pencils and nailpolish, gummi bears to conceal them, $3.75 for outrageously priced cosmetics.
` dying my hair licorice black. getting a bettie page fringe, because the girl in house of fetish had one, & looked cute.
` melona from the japanese supermarket. softly glowing, honeydew green stick of ice cream. tastes exactly like melon. but real melons are less calorific.
` lingerie with pussycat skulls on them. living dead dollies in coffins. a bondage kilt.
` white helium balloon tied to my puppydog collar. trailing behind like a pet.
` water pistols but no black. flamingo snowglobes. kitsch glowing jesus. pussycat ears.
jade's house was lovely, a converted doctor's surgery surrounded by a stupid number of little churches. boy and girl signs on the toilet doors, no smoking signs, but they all smoke. its nice to be around people who seem not to exist without a cigarette extending delicately from their fingers. nobody smokes in queensland, its lonely. the house is all glass and green and aquaria and clean and fotos and records. and boys eyes spinning like turntables all lost like a boy alice in wonderland. maybe thats why i like jade's boyfriend sascha so much, completely daft and curious, just like alice. always seems so lost, but happy to be there.
tirion's little terrace house, ultimately girly, curly naughty fairy scrawls on the walls, lots of pink things, beauty products, mirrors, videos strewn everywhere, evian, fairy lights. i walked to the bay with my new fringe and a much needed new pack of marlboro lites. chain smoked awfully and completely oxygenated my existence. spoke to this person i've known longer than anybody, listened to her telling me i'm visionary, i need to apply to nida, talked about lack of focus, energy, ideas. the only thing standing between me and creative genius is the constant, overwhelming, lightbulb after lightbulb above my head, a hundred ideas a day, nowhere near enough time to massage them all into reality. and i can't handle favouritism. oh. but when i get an idea, i don't get a lightbulb over my head. i get a chandeleir.
overwhelmed by compliments and attention. everybody wants to touch me. in a room with five people and they all fight over who wants to massage me, even the girls. "oh my god, that can't be a bone its too big."
- yr so regal.
- no. she's just feline.
heidi tells me, hee hee, this morning dave said you were beautiful. it came up in a conversation about drugs and thinness. apparently they attribute my thinness to cocaine use. sascha upsets jade by saying, that skirt looks better on kristy-lee, because she has good legs. jade is visibly cut up. instead of stopping there, he says, what? kristy-lee has really good legs. i'm noting down the things that appeal to narcissus, why? because back then, when this happened, my heart was broken and i needed to cling to anything, anything that would make me okay, even surface things. skim the surface when everythings black, it stops you from drowning.
'i'd rather drown than swim. i can't walk on water'.
ante bound my wrists with black gaffa tape, and chained me to a curtain rod, left me in an empty room with poetry painted on the walls. we were so bored. reading drug induced passages by moonlight, he left me there for so long, short skirt and arms above my head, and i'm thinking, this is sort of fun, but what if this were real? what if i were kidnapped? i got a chill but just as i did ante came back finally and untied me. then he chained me to the table by my puppydog collar while we watched interview with a vampire. cuter than it sounds.