Revisiting
So a conversation with a friend inspired me to go back and look at old work of mine. Made me realize how much I miss philosophy. The books, the words, the not making sense, the struggle, the breakthrough, the insight - the start. It's been way too long since I have had my outlook focused on that, and, for that, I am a little disappointed in myself because it was what I learned, about myself, during that time of struggle that has helped shape me and I feel like I let that go sometimes. I don't feel awake. John would be very disappointed in me, and I am not sure I would blame him.
I went back to revisit a time of more insight and struggle, and I realized that there are some things that I said I was going to change that I did and some that I didn't. I am glad for the ones that I did. I have definitely grown in the past year. More so then I ever could have had I kept my lucrative job at Elon. But I have also not let go of something that has needed to be released so damn long ago. It's like I have sucked the life out of it a million times over. So, this is my written promise that for the next few months I am doing what I have to to release you from my greedy grips, to stop listening to all the empty lines that you waste on me, and to move on, because, at this point, even if it happened, it isn't worth it anymore. It would mean nothing but vindication. And that is one less thing I need in my life...
Keep me honest; keep me faithful.
I went back to revisit a time of more insight and struggle, and I realized that there are some things that I said I was going to change that I did and some that I didn't. I am glad for the ones that I did. I have definitely grown in the past year. More so then I ever could have had I kept my lucrative job at Elon. But I have also not let go of something that has needed to be released so damn long ago. It's like I have sucked the life out of it a million times over. So, this is my written promise that for the next few months I am doing what I have to to release you from my greedy grips, to stop listening to all the empty lines that you waste on me, and to move on, because, at this point, even if it happened, it isn't worth it anymore. It would mean nothing but vindication. And that is one less thing I need in my life...
Keep me honest; keep me faithful.