(no subject)
I just re-read my diary from early high school. And I realized several important things about myself.
One: I need to exercise some serious humility in my current confidence in my "coolness" because I was the dorkiest dork from dorksville. And that can't all be gone.
Two: I was in love with Jimmy for most of my life. Yikes.
Three: I had some serious misconceptions about my looks. I mean, I honestly believed I was horrifyingly, mirror-shatteringly ugly. The kind of ugly that inspires pity in other people. And you can hear it in the way I talk about myself. The things I said about myself honestly made me sick to my stomach to re-read. That is so scary. And what's scarier is remembering how few people knew. People needed to know. I needed help.
Thank God I don't feel that way any longer. I am quite attractive. Like all of us, I have my moments, but I can be really beautiful. And, although I think it's hard for women in this culture to ever be satisfied with their bodies, I certainly don't sit around worrying about mine anymore. I am so grateful for maturity and confidence.
One: I need to exercise some serious humility in my current confidence in my "coolness" because I was the dorkiest dork from dorksville. And that can't all be gone.
Two: I was in love with Jimmy for most of my life. Yikes.
Three: I had some serious misconceptions about my looks. I mean, I honestly believed I was horrifyingly, mirror-shatteringly ugly. The kind of ugly that inspires pity in other people. And you can hear it in the way I talk about myself. The things I said about myself honestly made me sick to my stomach to re-read. That is so scary. And what's scarier is remembering how few people knew. People needed to know. I needed help.
Thank God I don't feel that way any longer. I am quite attractive. Like all of us, I have my moments, but I can be really beautiful. And, although I think it's hard for women in this culture to ever be satisfied with their bodies, I certainly don't sit around worrying about mine anymore. I am so grateful for maturity and confidence.