late response to challenge "pursuit"
Set pre-series, J/I.
"Self-Control"
The only man she's ever had trouble seducing is the only one she must win.
It's not that Jack Bristow doesn't want her. His eyes took on a lean, hungry light the first time he saw her, and Irina had thought the battle all but won. What she hadn't yet understood was the vast gulf between what Jack Bristow wants and what he will allow himself to have.
He earns decent money at the CIA already, probably. But he lives in a one-room apartment, dresses plainly, drives a car half as old as he is and rarely eats out. This might be because Jack Bristow is already structuring his life to avoid attention - in which case, he's smarter than she counted on. However, Irina knows that he grew up with little money, not in poverty but not that far above it; the experience has perhaps made him cautious.
He is well-liked where he chooses to be. The friendliness he projects toward some students in the upper-level Russian class they share is put on - Irina can see that - but it works. Jack is considered intelligent, helpful and polite. If he chose to deepen those contacts into friendship, he could do so. But he does not. Her surveillance suggests he spends most of his time alone.
He's attractive. Not the kind of Robert Redford-glamour that stops girls in their tracks, but Jack has a quieter kind of appeal - the sort that has a lot of power, because each woman believes she's the only one who sees it. But Jack doesn't womanize, not even with the women he wants, such as "Laura."
Laura has tried gently flirting, pretending to be unaware of him and stimulating his mind through intellectual discussion. She could tell Jack liked all of it. But he still hasn't made his move.
Finally, one night, as they walk out of the library, she tries, "You try too hard."
"No such thing," Jack says. "Wait. Try too hard to do what?"
"To be disciplined."
"If it's easy, it's not discipline."
"If you deny yourself every kind of pleasure, you only make yourself more vulnerable," she says. Irina stares at her feet as she walks; eye contact will ruin this, turn it into a joke instead of a real observation. Weirdly, to begin this pretense of a love affair, she has to delve all the way down to the truth. "You think it makes you stronger, but it doesn't. Discipline isn't about denial. It's about staying within your limits. And you can't do that if you don't know what your limits really are."
They walk side-by-side in silence for a few seconds after that. Irina knows she's made some impact.
Jack finally says, "Why does it matter to you?"
"I'd like to find out my own limits," she says, and stakes it all on a bold throw. "And I can't do that while you're playing hard to get."
When he stops that moment and kisses her, Irina knows she's won her bet.
"Self-Control"
The only man she's ever had trouble seducing is the only one she must win.
It's not that Jack Bristow doesn't want her. His eyes took on a lean, hungry light the first time he saw her, and Irina had thought the battle all but won. What she hadn't yet understood was the vast gulf between what Jack Bristow wants and what he will allow himself to have.
He earns decent money at the CIA already, probably. But he lives in a one-room apartment, dresses plainly, drives a car half as old as he is and rarely eats out. This might be because Jack Bristow is already structuring his life to avoid attention - in which case, he's smarter than she counted on. However, Irina knows that he grew up with little money, not in poverty but not that far above it; the experience has perhaps made him cautious.
He is well-liked where he chooses to be. The friendliness he projects toward some students in the upper-level Russian class they share is put on - Irina can see that - but it works. Jack is considered intelligent, helpful and polite. If he chose to deepen those contacts into friendship, he could do so. But he does not. Her surveillance suggests he spends most of his time alone.
He's attractive. Not the kind of Robert Redford-glamour that stops girls in their tracks, but Jack has a quieter kind of appeal - the sort that has a lot of power, because each woman believes she's the only one who sees it. But Jack doesn't womanize, not even with the women he wants, such as "Laura."
Laura has tried gently flirting, pretending to be unaware of him and stimulating his mind through intellectual discussion. She could tell Jack liked all of it. But he still hasn't made his move.
Finally, one night, as they walk out of the library, she tries, "You try too hard."
"No such thing," Jack says. "Wait. Try too hard to do what?"
"To be disciplined."
"If it's easy, it's not discipline."
"If you deny yourself every kind of pleasure, you only make yourself more vulnerable," she says. Irina stares at her feet as she walks; eye contact will ruin this, turn it into a joke instead of a real observation. Weirdly, to begin this pretense of a love affair, she has to delve all the way down to the truth. "You think it makes you stronger, but it doesn't. Discipline isn't about denial. It's about staying within your limits. And you can't do that if you don't know what your limits really are."
They walk side-by-side in silence for a few seconds after that. Irina knows she's made some impact.
Jack finally says, "Why does it matter to you?"
"I'd like to find out my own limits," she says, and stakes it all on a bold throw. "And I can't do that while you're playing hard to get."
When he stops that moment and kisses her, Irina knows she's won her bet.