A film review. Because I can.
P.S. I Love You (2007) is not a good movie.
I wanted to like it. It had a scant few redeeming moments that filled me with hope, with the possibility of liking it.
I know. I'm a terrible girl. I also did not like/did not see the point of Moulin Rouge (2001), but that's another film review blog for another time, my friends.
The whole movie felt way too forced, the "funny moments" too predictable, the plot lines too loose and unbelievable, the characters too unlikeable.
Unlike most "chick flicks" which make you want to cheer for the leading lady as she overcomes social obstacles and earns her right to love and be loved, I just wanted Hillary Swank to shut up. Not that I have anything against Swank. I just don't think she's suited for leading lady roles in chick flicks; she cannot transition from power-acting dramas to chick flicks with the same gracefulness as Kate Winslet, say, or Emma Thompson (two of my Hollywood heroines). I feel like she agreed to take on the role of Holly to prove that she's pretty and has a hot little body that may not have been seen in Boys Don't Cry (1999) or Million Dollar Baby (2004).
Maybe I approached this movie not expecting to like it in the first place. I read the novel, on which this movie is based. Now keep in mind that the word based here signifies the fact that it took the basic concept--a dead husband arranging to send his young widow letters and surprises after his death--and pretty much ignored everything else. When I saw the trailer last year, I was kind of annoyed that they made the lead character American and her husband Irish (everyone is Irish in the novel, which was written by Cecelia Ahern). So maybe that annoyance carried with me when watching this movie. But, like I said before, I really tried to like it but just couldn't for several reasons you will find below:
1. In the opening scene, Holly (Swank) and Gerry (Gerard Butler) are having an argument in their swank apartment. The opening scene set the tone for how I would view the rest of the movie: that is, really genuinely disliking the heroine. She's whiny and delusional, complaining about "wanting a better life" and "looking at couples buying apartments we could never afford" . . . it sounds so ridiculous when you look at their apartment which most of us could never afford and when you see how she is dressed (designer duds and killer shoes in every scene of the entire movie).
2. There is nothing more annoying than a fake Irish accent, which Butler and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (who looks spookily like Butler and a bit like Javier Bardem) have in the movie.
Speaking of Butler and Morgan, did anyone else find it more than a little disturbing that Holly's first husband (Butler) and her new love interest (Morgan) are basically the same person? The stereotypical charming, singing Irishman with the exact same fashion sense and unbelievable muscle? Holly meets both men in a pub, where they are performing and automatically attracted to the cute little American girl, wanting to full-on make out with her within minutes of meeting
(Well, technically Holly meets Gerry when she's "lost" on a "college trip" to Ireland on a lonely, yet scenic, road which Gerry is unexplicably, yet conveniently ambling across. But they meet for the second time when he's performing at a pub, and she is conveniently there).
Even more disturbing is the fact that Gerry and Billy (Morgan) used to be in the same band (the band that was performing when Holly met Gerry for the second time) and when Billy tells Holly who he is, upon sexual intercourse, Holly suddenly remembers who he is.
What? Did she not remember when she saw him performing at the pub (singing a song Gerry used to sing to her, conveniently) and when he rescued her and her girlfriends in the middle of a lake, where he conveniently works? What? Where are all these random plot lines coming from and how am I supposed to believe them?
3. Holly (Swank) does not redeem herself at all at any point in the movie. She is selfish, shallow, self-absorbed and a little too pseudo-Carrie Bradshaw for my liking.
In the opening scene, after the argument (where she throws her designer shoes at her husband's face. COME ON!) her husband makes a remark about not leaving her like her father did. You know, something very touching and sweet. What does she say? Something along the lines of, "I better pick up my shoes. They might think I don't love them anymore." Only Carrie Bradshaw can say something like that, with all the charm and sincerity that makes her Carrie Bradshaw. But Hillary Swank? No. I can't believe it.
Holly is also a wife I hope I never become. She falls in love with Gerry because he's that irresistable musical Irishman but then berates him for not bringing in enough money. The fact that she insists on wearing all designer clothes and skipping from one job to the next? Inconsequential. She nitpicks, gets angry at him for the smallest of things and doesn't let him off the hook. One third of the movie seems to be dedicated to Holly being angry at Gerry. What does he SEE in her?
4. And that's another thing. What do all of these men see in her? Even Daniel (Harry Connick Jr.), a guy who works in her mom's bar, falls for Holly, and it's never really certain why. The two develop a weird friendship and even try dating (which doesn't happen, unfortunately) and there never seems to be any basis for his attraction.
And honestly: who kisses someone "just to see what it would be like" and then says "no, no, it'll never work"? This happens twice in the movie: between Daniel and Holly, and Denise (Lisa Kudrow) and a stranger at the bar. That's just cold.
5. It's not a good sign when, in a film, you keep thinking to yourself, "If this was my movie, I would do this or that differently." I felt this the most profoundly when Holly is at some unnamed park in the city reading the last letter from Gerry. It's a crisp, beautiful fall day, Holly is dressed appropriately (of course) and for some reason, she is completely alone in an absolutely gorgeous park.
If it was my movie, I would have a ton of people there, strolling across the bridge, walking their dogs; people with strollers, children playing, etc. just to show that even though Holly has suffered through the loss of her husband, life still manages to go on all around her. I would then have the camera pan out to show Holly reading this letter in the busyness of the park, and then keep zooming out so she becomes indestinguishable from the rest of the crowd, to show that she's not truly alone in her grief.
If it was my movie. If it was a movie more about grief, loss, and moving on than Hillary Swank in designer clothing.
But it wasn't.