(no subject)
I’m confused.
Today just wasn’t my day. I woke up at about 12:00 on my day off, and I wanted to go on the computer, but dad wouldn’t let me. I wanted and needed to be on the computer for two reasons. The first is that I needed artwork and things done, because of the fact that I don’t get all week to do so anymore. The second is simply, that it’s the only thing I want to do besides draw, or listen to music. Its all I can do right now…and then me and my dad got into an argument…Its like he doesn’t care to see how much shit I go through. He’s nothing more than an obstacle to me.
Just thinking about him right now makes me want to break things, or put my fist through a wall.
So yeah, I wasn’t able to do what I wanted with the small time allotted because my dad’s an asshole. Our argument was about my insurance, or my license, or college, or how I act depressed all of the time.
-Just a fucking obstacle.
I took my car without my dad knowing and I wanted to just drive as far as I could tonight…but I don’t know much of anyone anymore. Those that I do know right now are probably too busy to hang out with me.
I didn’t get far.
I just went to the gas station up the street, got $10 worth of gas, and then I came home. It was like no one knew I had left.
Sometimes, I just want to scream to the world how I feel, but I know my words would be hollow. I’d want to vent out how I feel to someone, but they only care so much. It would just be air…but…it builds, and I don’t know how to kill it away. I want to be close to someone, and I don’t want to be alone. Those that want to be close to me, I don’t want to get close to.
I have to…conform.
Car insurance will cost me $400, which is all of the money that I have on my person as of right now. Then I’m back where I started, with 0 cash…even when I’ve worked at Fry’s for about 3 months.
And…I don’t want to be bitter, and I don’t want to be angry……but then again, I didn’t want to be depressed or in pain either.
I want to be a good person, but…
I’ve been playing guitar a bit lately. Nothing important, I’ve just been obsessing over Tabs a lot. I cant seem to draw mutch…its just been…
A feeling. One of which I’ve wanted to let out for a while, but work and responsibility would ruin it. I cant let it out poetically, or in written form…I want to, but…It does me nothing.
I hope in getting my liscence, things will change.
I can’t…
believe its April already.
I haven’t gotten far.
Today just wasn’t my day. I woke up at about 12:00 on my day off, and I wanted to go on the computer, but dad wouldn’t let me. I wanted and needed to be on the computer for two reasons. The first is that I needed artwork and things done, because of the fact that I don’t get all week to do so anymore. The second is simply, that it’s the only thing I want to do besides draw, or listen to music. Its all I can do right now…and then me and my dad got into an argument…Its like he doesn’t care to see how much shit I go through. He’s nothing more than an obstacle to me.
Just thinking about him right now makes me want to break things, or put my fist through a wall.
So yeah, I wasn’t able to do what I wanted with the small time allotted because my dad’s an asshole. Our argument was about my insurance, or my license, or college, or how I act depressed all of the time.
-Just a fucking obstacle.
I took my car without my dad knowing and I wanted to just drive as far as I could tonight…but I don’t know much of anyone anymore. Those that I do know right now are probably too busy to hang out with me.
I didn’t get far.
I just went to the gas station up the street, got $10 worth of gas, and then I came home. It was like no one knew I had left.
Sometimes, I just want to scream to the world how I feel, but I know my words would be hollow. I’d want to vent out how I feel to someone, but they only care so much. It would just be air…but…it builds, and I don’t know how to kill it away. I want to be close to someone, and I don’t want to be alone. Those that want to be close to me, I don’t want to get close to.
I have to…conform.
Car insurance will cost me $400, which is all of the money that I have on my person as of right now. Then I’m back where I started, with 0 cash…even when I’ve worked at Fry’s for about 3 months.
And…I don’t want to be bitter, and I don’t want to be angry……but then again, I didn’t want to be depressed or in pain either.
I want to be a good person, but…
I’ve been playing guitar a bit lately. Nothing important, I’ve just been obsessing over Tabs a lot. I cant seem to draw mutch…its just been…
A feeling. One of which I’ve wanted to let out for a while, but work and responsibility would ruin it. I cant let it out poetically, or in written form…I want to, but…It does me nothing.
I hope in getting my liscence, things will change.
I can’t…
believe its April already.
I haven’t gotten far.