(no subject)
(The following was written on the 16th)
Wow, well, how do I say this…I uh, I got hit by a car today. I was obviously fine, but the driver freaked out. I was getting up, kinda disappointed at myself as well as her, and then this angel comes out of the car. I was like “aww shit-now how can I get mad at that!!” and so she ran over to me completely freaked out…I was alright though, it could have been a lot worse. I could be dead if she was going any faster or I was going faster on a bike, but I was on my scooter on my way home. She was really nice about everything…and not to bad looking herself. She had brown hair, blue eyes and fair skin. For no apparent reason, ill mention she had a pink, v-neck sweater and jeans. Her car was a nice 2004 Indigo Mazda 3 with the special package included. With her she had the cutest kids. Her name was Jodi, and her daughters we’re Brooke and Taylor. She was born in 80, so that makes her only 6 years older than me…*nods*. She told the police officer that she was going about 5 mph, but I swear she was going 10-15. All in all everything was fine, and she was gorgeous. My life didn’t flash before my eyes or anything crazy like that, I just hoped that nothing was going to break or tear as I helplessly was hit, tossed, slammed, and slid along the pavement. Luckily, I suffered no broken bones. I do, however, have my right elbow and ribs skinned up quite a bit. My ribs are just abrasions, but my elbow was bleeding a bit. I’m sorry if I was complaining about all of this right now-she really was the sweetest person, and I felt bad that I made her scared. Maybe…just maybe, she was that way cus she was afraid I’d sue her or something. It never crossed my mind. She was most likely, honesty apologetic about the whole thing, and so was I. I made sure that my dad wouldn’t find out, I got bandaged up, and then she dropped me off, which I thought was really nice of her. I’m literally not the type of person to get pissed off or completely irrational like a lot of people do, I just felt bad, and that I was taking up her time. She was very nice, and ill call her tomorrow just to make sure she’s okay.
Work, on the other hand, was pretty bad. I was there from 9:30am till 3:30pm. Work was…well-work. Monika was Monika, Tiffany was Tiffany, and Jeff was annoying, as usual. Bagging sucks, but its a lot better than getting carts or doing the floor *which I’m sure ill have to do tomorrow-eeuck. It consists of cleaning the literal shit in the trash cans, the toilets, sweeping the store and crushing boxes in the machine. It’s like a weekly ritual-only without all of the good parts to it. Go-backs are okay…I get to sing as I put away Rice-a-Roni or Hostess snack cakes, ya know. I’ve gotten pretty good at my base voice. My voice has gotten to the point to where it sounds like a cross between Maynard from Tool’s voice, and some opera dude-lol. Don’t ask me how that happened…--it’s like the nutritional equivalent to cheetos and beer. Well, I love Tool and A Perfect Circle, so that explains that, I guess. The songs I sing are:
Tool: Lateralis
Tool: Stinkfist
Tool: Eulogy
Tool: H
Tool: Forty-Six and 2
A Perfect Circle: The Hollow
A Perfect Circle: Rose
A Perfect Circle: Orestes
A Perfect Circle: The Noose
A Perfect Circle: The Outsider
A Perfect Circle: Over
A Perfect Circle: Gravity
Evanescence: Breathe No More
Evanescence: My Last Breath
Seether featuring Amy Lee: Broken
The thing is-I don’t want to sing like Pavarotti, ya know? You can rock with an opera dudes voice (well usually you cant, but sometimes it works, like switchblade or opeth, right?). Its not that I’m ungrateful, but it just simply isn’t my style…I found it actually on accident. For those of you that want to know how to sing (not that I’m saying I’m an expert or anything, but) always do voice warm-ups if you want a better singing quality. What I used to do in chorus was “Do, Do Re Do, Do RE Mi Re Do, Do Re Mi Re Fa So La Ti Do Ti Fa So La Ti Re.” Each time I do that, I go up a note-and when I reach the middle of the sentence, and the go back down gradually. Also, ill just do what Amy Lee does…she’ll just gradually go up and down with her “la’s.” I love my Amy Lee.
OOH! 1:11am-make a wish!! Technically I don’t have to go into work until 6 because I’m working until midnight >_<. So anyways, that gives me plenty of time to diddle on the computer (a la my website) and stuff at home before I have to leave. I love my website.
I also can’t help but to feel…that what happened today was not by accident. I mean, of course Jodi didn’t intend to hit me, but I’m talking about other things…unseen things in this existence that we only feel deep within ourselves yet shrug off…Call me superstitious, but if god really did exist, this was his warning not to fuck up, and it got me thinking…it was something my father had said “ How would you rather live, under someone who does things you don’t like for your safety, or you doing something without that person to supervise you and in turn you getting hurt.” Well, he said it something like that, but…its honestly a tough decision. God and Me-if he exists-aren’t at good terms right now. I’ve been hurt too many times in the past, and he acted like I didn’t even exist when I began to hurt. Now-all of a sudden after all of this brain-reeming shit I’ve been through, he wants to make a statement by hitting me with a fucking car!? Fuck him. If that’s how things add up, he has a funny way of showing his affection. He’s no better than my real father. Honestly, Id take what I could from the slim pickings of my dads advice, but beyond that…I really don’t want some asshole having my life by the leash. I am not a dog; he is not the owner of me. My my…this sounds a bit familiar. God might not also like the fact that I pretty much called him a liar in my mythological stories on my website. Call it a bit of paranoia…but ya never know. Hey-at liest I’m using the other 90% of my brain for something besides poetry, artistry and juggies.
o.o
I’m joking.
But yes…I want to love and be loved, but not like that…and I wonder, how much longer I can last on my own in this world.
Johnen Vasquez said something particularly interesting in his comic book compilation of Squee. He said that he draws sometimes just to let out how he feels inside…he takes a break from drawing NNY and practically vomits his wisdom and/or opinions into pictorial symbolism. Not going to say that he is the best person to go for moral support or a righteous sense of logic, but it is definitely something to think about…I wish I could do that…
Wait a minute; don’t I know how to draw? Aww hell, why don’t I just do it!? Ill do my poetry, only with pictures! Yay! Its like the mix of two mediums!!
….
Heaven help us.
Anyways, I have to sleep…I feel like I got hit by a car today.
lol
Wow, well, how do I say this…I uh, I got hit by a car today. I was obviously fine, but the driver freaked out. I was getting up, kinda disappointed at myself as well as her, and then this angel comes out of the car. I was like “aww shit-now how can I get mad at that!!” and so she ran over to me completely freaked out…I was alright though, it could have been a lot worse. I could be dead if she was going any faster or I was going faster on a bike, but I was on my scooter on my way home. She was really nice about everything…and not to bad looking herself. She had brown hair, blue eyes and fair skin. For no apparent reason, ill mention she had a pink, v-neck sweater and jeans. Her car was a nice 2004 Indigo Mazda 3 with the special package included. With her she had the cutest kids. Her name was Jodi, and her daughters we’re Brooke and Taylor. She was born in 80, so that makes her only 6 years older than me…*nods*. She told the police officer that she was going about 5 mph, but I swear she was going 10-15. All in all everything was fine, and she was gorgeous. My life didn’t flash before my eyes or anything crazy like that, I just hoped that nothing was going to break or tear as I helplessly was hit, tossed, slammed, and slid along the pavement. Luckily, I suffered no broken bones. I do, however, have my right elbow and ribs skinned up quite a bit. My ribs are just abrasions, but my elbow was bleeding a bit. I’m sorry if I was complaining about all of this right now-she really was the sweetest person, and I felt bad that I made her scared. Maybe…just maybe, she was that way cus she was afraid I’d sue her or something. It never crossed my mind. She was most likely, honesty apologetic about the whole thing, and so was I. I made sure that my dad wouldn’t find out, I got bandaged up, and then she dropped me off, which I thought was really nice of her. I’m literally not the type of person to get pissed off or completely irrational like a lot of people do, I just felt bad, and that I was taking up her time. She was very nice, and ill call her tomorrow just to make sure she’s okay.
Work, on the other hand, was pretty bad. I was there from 9:30am till 3:30pm. Work was…well-work. Monika was Monika, Tiffany was Tiffany, and Jeff was annoying, as usual. Bagging sucks, but its a lot better than getting carts or doing the floor *which I’m sure ill have to do tomorrow-eeuck. It consists of cleaning the literal shit in the trash cans, the toilets, sweeping the store and crushing boxes in the machine. It’s like a weekly ritual-only without all of the good parts to it. Go-backs are okay…I get to sing as I put away Rice-a-Roni or Hostess snack cakes, ya know. I’ve gotten pretty good at my base voice. My voice has gotten to the point to where it sounds like a cross between Maynard from Tool’s voice, and some opera dude-lol. Don’t ask me how that happened…--it’s like the nutritional equivalent to cheetos and beer. Well, I love Tool and A Perfect Circle, so that explains that, I guess. The songs I sing are:
Tool: Lateralis
Tool: Stinkfist
Tool: Eulogy
Tool: H
Tool: Forty-Six and 2
A Perfect Circle: The Hollow
A Perfect Circle: Rose
A Perfect Circle: Orestes
A Perfect Circle: The Noose
A Perfect Circle: The Outsider
A Perfect Circle: Over
A Perfect Circle: Gravity
Evanescence: Breathe No More
Evanescence: My Last Breath
Seether featuring Amy Lee: Broken
The thing is-I don’t want to sing like Pavarotti, ya know? You can rock with an opera dudes voice (well usually you cant, but sometimes it works, like switchblade or opeth, right?). Its not that I’m ungrateful, but it just simply isn’t my style…I found it actually on accident. For those of you that want to know how to sing (not that I’m saying I’m an expert or anything, but) always do voice warm-ups if you want a better singing quality. What I used to do in chorus was “Do, Do Re Do, Do RE Mi Re Do, Do Re Mi Re Fa So La Ti Do Ti Fa So La Ti Re.” Each time I do that, I go up a note-and when I reach the middle of the sentence, and the go back down gradually. Also, ill just do what Amy Lee does…she’ll just gradually go up and down with her “la’s.” I love my Amy Lee.
OOH! 1:11am-make a wish!! Technically I don’t have to go into work until 6 because I’m working until midnight >_<. So anyways, that gives me plenty of time to diddle on the computer (a la my website) and stuff at home before I have to leave. I love my website.
I also can’t help but to feel…that what happened today was not by accident. I mean, of course Jodi didn’t intend to hit me, but I’m talking about other things…unseen things in this existence that we only feel deep within ourselves yet shrug off…Call me superstitious, but if god really did exist, this was his warning not to fuck up, and it got me thinking…it was something my father had said “ How would you rather live, under someone who does things you don’t like for your safety, or you doing something without that person to supervise you and in turn you getting hurt.” Well, he said it something like that, but…its honestly a tough decision. God and Me-if he exists-aren’t at good terms right now. I’ve been hurt too many times in the past, and he acted like I didn’t even exist when I began to hurt. Now-all of a sudden after all of this brain-reeming shit I’ve been through, he wants to make a statement by hitting me with a fucking car!? Fuck him. If that’s how things add up, he has a funny way of showing his affection. He’s no better than my real father. Honestly, Id take what I could from the slim pickings of my dads advice, but beyond that…I really don’t want some asshole having my life by the leash. I am not a dog; he is not the owner of me. My my…this sounds a bit familiar. God might not also like the fact that I pretty much called him a liar in my mythological stories on my website. Call it a bit of paranoia…but ya never know. Hey-at liest I’m using the other 90% of my brain for something besides poetry, artistry and juggies.
o.o
I’m joking.
But yes…I want to love and be loved, but not like that…and I wonder, how much longer I can last on my own in this world.
Johnen Vasquez said something particularly interesting in his comic book compilation of Squee. He said that he draws sometimes just to let out how he feels inside…he takes a break from drawing NNY and practically vomits his wisdom and/or opinions into pictorial symbolism. Not going to say that he is the best person to go for moral support or a righteous sense of logic, but it is definitely something to think about…I wish I could do that…
Wait a minute; don’t I know how to draw? Aww hell, why don’t I just do it!? Ill do my poetry, only with pictures! Yay! Its like the mix of two mediums!!
….
Heaven help us.
Anyways, I have to sleep…I feel like I got hit by a car today.
lol