Goodbye Snowless Bliss; See You In 8 Months
It snowed this morning.
Either it was THAT slippery out or stupid 4x4 on my big beast of a truck didn't switch over properly; I fishtailed everywhere, driving really really slow, being gentle on the gas, blah-blah. Tiny cars were doing better on the road than I was.
I'm scared to drive home this afternoon.
I was forced to run a red light. It was either that or swerve out of control. Either way, the cameras caught me. I'm worried about getting a ticket in the mail. A stressful thing about driving on ice: just approaching the intersection, watching the green light suddenly switch to yellow, and realizing that you can't stop...
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE WINTER. DIAF, winter! A nice, hot, thawing fire! *laughs* No white christmas for me, thanks. That crap is for people who don't risk their lives every time they leave the house.
(I'm one of those nervous drivers, can you tell?)
Joe went in for more testing of his heart earlier this week. They did a cathader (sp?) through the artery of his inner right thigh. In other words, they cut open the artery there and shoved a bunch of wires through there into his heart to get a good look at it. His arteries are completely clear, but we knew that already. (It annoys us both when someone assumes his heart is bad due to clogged arteries or that he needs bypass surgery, blah-blah) His heart's still weak, but it's recovering. One of his valves is toast, the other is failing.
What does this mean?
It means it's very likely that, because his heart is strengthening, he can go in to replace his valves instead of his entire heart. This is a VERY GOOD THING and is actually very good news. More testing to be done at a later date still unknown to us. Ugh.
In the meantime he's doing a good job losing weight. And he's struggling with the non-smoking thing. It's hard not to just let an argument go. Using argument stress as an excuse to light up is pretty stupid, in my opinion, even if I'm being stubborn and difficult. No, I'm not purposely pissing him off to test his boundaries on what he can handle without a cigarette. Not at all. I'm trying to be more of the good wife that just rolls over and takes it every time he gets snappy due to withdrawals. I'm trying very hard. I'm supporting him every way I know how. Every once in a while, though...
I suppose the argument is that if I love him enough I should accept him of all his flaws, including the smoking. That it shouldn't get in the way of our marriage. However, in this case, the heart specialists have flat-out said "If he doesn't stop smoking, we will not even consider putting him on the list for a transplant." He needs to have stopped smoking for 6 months before they'll consider even the mere possibility of putting him on the list. Therefore, it's no longer an issue of him wanting to quit or even him needing to quit. He HAS to quit. Plain and simple. Has to. His life and the future well-being of our family depends on it. If he's willing to say "fuck it" to that, then...
Yeah, I need to get back to work. Arguing with husband on the phone over hubcaps, his drivers license, and money (money ALWAYS being the issue between us) and having no one to directly vent to leaves me just a tad bit unproductive at my job. *sigh*
On a random note: anyone else addicted to their iPod/mp3 player?
Either it was THAT slippery out or stupid 4x4 on my big beast of a truck didn't switch over properly; I fishtailed everywhere, driving really really slow, being gentle on the gas, blah-blah. Tiny cars were doing better on the road than I was.
I'm scared to drive home this afternoon.
I was forced to run a red light. It was either that or swerve out of control. Either way, the cameras caught me. I'm worried about getting a ticket in the mail. A stressful thing about driving on ice: just approaching the intersection, watching the green light suddenly switch to yellow, and realizing that you can't stop...
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE WINTER. DIAF, winter! A nice, hot, thawing fire! *laughs* No white christmas for me, thanks. That crap is for people who don't risk their lives every time they leave the house.
(I'm one of those nervous drivers, can you tell?)
Joe went in for more testing of his heart earlier this week. They did a cathader (sp?) through the artery of his inner right thigh. In other words, they cut open the artery there and shoved a bunch of wires through there into his heart to get a good look at it. His arteries are completely clear, but we knew that already. (It annoys us both when someone assumes his heart is bad due to clogged arteries or that he needs bypass surgery, blah-blah) His heart's still weak, but it's recovering. One of his valves is toast, the other is failing.
What does this mean?
It means it's very likely that, because his heart is strengthening, he can go in to replace his valves instead of his entire heart. This is a VERY GOOD THING and is actually very good news. More testing to be done at a later date still unknown to us. Ugh.
In the meantime he's doing a good job losing weight. And he's struggling with the non-smoking thing. It's hard not to just let an argument go. Using argument stress as an excuse to light up is pretty stupid, in my opinion, even if I'm being stubborn and difficult. No, I'm not purposely pissing him off to test his boundaries on what he can handle without a cigarette. Not at all. I'm trying to be more of the good wife that just rolls over and takes it every time he gets snappy due to withdrawals. I'm trying very hard. I'm supporting him every way I know how. Every once in a while, though...
I suppose the argument is that if I love him enough I should accept him of all his flaws, including the smoking. That it shouldn't get in the way of our marriage. However, in this case, the heart specialists have flat-out said "If he doesn't stop smoking, we will not even consider putting him on the list for a transplant." He needs to have stopped smoking for 6 months before they'll consider even the mere possibility of putting him on the list. Therefore, it's no longer an issue of him wanting to quit or even him needing to quit. He HAS to quit. Plain and simple. Has to. His life and the future well-being of our family depends on it. If he's willing to say "fuck it" to that, then...
Yeah, I need to get back to work. Arguing with husband on the phone over hubcaps, his drivers license, and money (money ALWAYS being the issue between us) and having no one to directly vent to leaves me just a tad bit unproductive at my job. *sigh*
On a random note: anyone else addicted to their iPod/mp3 player?