Late Night Ramblings: Frienship, Time-Traveler's Wife, Naruto
Frustration: taking an active part in a friend's interests, but not having that effort returned.
"Hey, read this and this and this, I think you'll like it," friend says. "Try this game when it comes out," friend says. "Try this. Check out that." And I do. With everything.
But if I were to share some of my interests, they are ignored.
Am I so boring of a person?
But then I wonder, am I expecting too much out of this friendship? Who cares as long as we have a lot in common and enjoy each other's company, right? I have no idea. I've never been very good at keeping friends.
I tend to distance myself from people. That, and I am baffled as to why people meet me, like me at first, and then over time eventually discover that they don't, but no one ever, ever tells me why, leaving me saddened, frustrated, and confused but unable to correct myself in whatever flaw(s) are scaring people away. Meh. (terrible run-on sentence liek whoa but too lazy to change it. ha-ha)
This post isn't directed at anyone on my flist; you're all wonderful. I fear I've distanced myself too much from you all, though - I haven't been posting much lately. I've been holding the attitude of "Well, would anyone really care if I talk about this? Or that?" without any particular reason why I would feel that way. You don't know how many posts I've written up and just have never posted. *sigh*
I'm trying to get new people into my writing, people I know in real-life and such. Not working out so well. Perhaps what I write about is too boring. I need new, fresh ideas, and preferably original ideas. Writing is the only thing I'm any good at (in my mind), so I might as well finally take it seriously. But lately I've been wondering if I'm even good at that, not because I'm discouraged by better writers, but because of a lack of interested readers.
When your own husband keeps saying, every night, "Yeah, I'll read it tonight," and doesn't, it's very discouraging. Double-fold when a friend pretty much does the same thing. But perhaps I'm just being impatient again.
Emo-ness aside (because it's not an Alf_b entry without some sort of self-pity or complaint, right?) I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife mainly because I wanted to see the movie but never got the chance to. It is a very interesting book, and I'm enjoying it for the most part, but the romance is very dry. I just can't get into the couple, Henry and Clare. What they're going through is quite fascinating, and it's what's keeping me reading the book, but them being together doesn't make my heart melt, I don't inwardly squee over them, I don't crave their next encounter together...just, nothing. They're a great, three-dimensional couple, but they're kinda just there, going through the motions of the plot. There's something missing in this book, and I can't pinpoint what it is.
But lately I've been craving more and more romance in what I read, in what I watch, in what I listen to, everything. For the past couple years or so it's been like this. There's nothing wrong with my relationship to Joe, I don't think, it's just...this festering craving. And when I mean romance, I don't necessarily mean sex, just romance in general. *sigh* I dunno. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose.
Naruto fans: I haven't read the manga in years, but I've been keeping up with the anime on-and-off. And last week's episode...*smirk, fangirly bounce* I used to be freakin' OBSESSED with Inuyasha's parents back in the day...I think I've found my replacement couple! I've been scouring the web for anything and everything Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina. Don't think I'm quite ready to write fic for them yet, though. I've been a fan of the 4th hokage for years, but for him to have a name, for him to be confirmed as Naruto's dad, and to see who Naruto's mother was...I'm caught, hook, line and sinker!
The Inuyasha anime is continuing!! Woot!!!!
In regards to my previous post, we decided to enroll Tyler in kindergarten next year. He'll be 5 just turning 6 by then. He's smart enough to attend school now, but I worry about his social development. He's just so very shy around strangers. It actually broke my heart when I first discovered this trait about him when he was a year old at his cousin's birthday party. Being the shy, quiet kid growing up sucked a lot of the time and I hoped Tyler wouldn't have to go through that. I had hoped he would be more outgoing like his dad. Ah well.
And Joe's doing a bit better. He's lost a lot of weight. And he's attempting to quit smoking (hell hath no fury like someone quitting cold turkey *gulp*). He goes in for more testing this month, the doctors wanting to take as close of a look at his heart as they can without actually cutting him open. We'll see what they find out. *sigh*
Thanks to those that replied in the previous post. Apologies for never replying to you.
It's 2:30 am, I have work tomorrow, but I'm not at all tired. How unfortunate.
"Hey, read this and this and this, I think you'll like it," friend says. "Try this game when it comes out," friend says. "Try this. Check out that." And I do. With everything.
But if I were to share some of my interests, they are ignored.
Am I so boring of a person?
But then I wonder, am I expecting too much out of this friendship? Who cares as long as we have a lot in common and enjoy each other's company, right? I have no idea. I've never been very good at keeping friends.
I tend to distance myself from people. That, and I am baffled as to why people meet me, like me at first, and then over time eventually discover that they don't, but no one ever, ever tells me why, leaving me saddened, frustrated, and confused but unable to correct myself in whatever flaw(s) are scaring people away. Meh. (terrible run-on sentence liek whoa but too lazy to change it. ha-ha)
This post isn't directed at anyone on my flist; you're all wonderful. I fear I've distanced myself too much from you all, though - I haven't been posting much lately. I've been holding the attitude of "Well, would anyone really care if I talk about this? Or that?" without any particular reason why I would feel that way. You don't know how many posts I've written up and just have never posted. *sigh*
I'm trying to get new people into my writing, people I know in real-life and such. Not working out so well. Perhaps what I write about is too boring. I need new, fresh ideas, and preferably original ideas. Writing is the only thing I'm any good at (in my mind), so I might as well finally take it seriously. But lately I've been wondering if I'm even good at that, not because I'm discouraged by better writers, but because of a lack of interested readers.
When your own husband keeps saying, every night, "Yeah, I'll read it tonight," and doesn't, it's very discouraging. Double-fold when a friend pretty much does the same thing. But perhaps I'm just being impatient again.
Emo-ness aside (because it's not an Alf_b entry without some sort of self-pity or complaint, right?) I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife mainly because I wanted to see the movie but never got the chance to. It is a very interesting book, and I'm enjoying it for the most part, but the romance is very dry. I just can't get into the couple, Henry and Clare. What they're going through is quite fascinating, and it's what's keeping me reading the book, but them being together doesn't make my heart melt, I don't inwardly squee over them, I don't crave their next encounter together...just, nothing. They're a great, three-dimensional couple, but they're kinda just there, going through the motions of the plot. There's something missing in this book, and I can't pinpoint what it is.
But lately I've been craving more and more romance in what I read, in what I watch, in what I listen to, everything. For the past couple years or so it's been like this. There's nothing wrong with my relationship to Joe, I don't think, it's just...this festering craving. And when I mean romance, I don't necessarily mean sex, just romance in general. *sigh* I dunno. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose.
Naruto fans: I haven't read the manga in years, but I've been keeping up with the anime on-and-off. And last week's episode...*smirk, fangirly bounce* I used to be freakin' OBSESSED with Inuyasha's parents back in the day...I think I've found my replacement couple! I've been scouring the web for anything and everything Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina. Don't think I'm quite ready to write fic for them yet, though. I've been a fan of the 4th hokage for years, but for him to have a name, for him to be confirmed as Naruto's dad, and to see who Naruto's mother was...I'm caught, hook, line and sinker!
The Inuyasha anime is continuing!! Woot!!!!
In regards to my previous post, we decided to enroll Tyler in kindergarten next year. He'll be 5 just turning 6 by then. He's smart enough to attend school now, but I worry about his social development. He's just so very shy around strangers. It actually broke my heart when I first discovered this trait about him when he was a year old at his cousin's birthday party. Being the shy, quiet kid growing up sucked a lot of the time and I hoped Tyler wouldn't have to go through that. I had hoped he would be more outgoing like his dad. Ah well.
And Joe's doing a bit better. He's lost a lot of weight. And he's attempting to quit smoking (hell hath no fury like someone quitting cold turkey *gulp*). He goes in for more testing this month, the doctors wanting to take as close of a look at his heart as they can without actually cutting him open. We'll see what they find out. *sigh*
Thanks to those that replied in the previous post. Apologies for never replying to you.
It's 2:30 am, I have work tomorrow, but I'm not at all tired. How unfortunate.