I'm gonna go lie down in Marcus's room.
As much as I enjoy Dead Like Me, I can have a really hard time watching it. The stuff with the reapers is all fun and silly [while still morbid and dark sometimes], but the scenes with George's family, dealing with the fall-out of her death... I just really can't take. Those scenes are just unrelenting pain and sadness. And it's like they are just laser-guided into me. I'm not sure why it is. I've lost loved ones, but no one in my immediate family [knock on wood]. It's just like movies where a mother loses a child. I can be perfectly fine, but as soon as it happens I am immediately gone. I can swing around from smiling and dancing to heaving sobs at the drop of a hat.
It probably doesn't help that Marcus is out of town right now, and every time someone close is gone, it always feels a little bit like they died and are never coming back. I'm assuming that's part of my panic disorder, and I know it's completely irrational, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with on a regular basis. I usually manage to distract myself for the most part until they get back, but I'm never quite at ease. Something is always clutching at my coat tails.
It probably doesn't help that Marcus is out of town right now, and every time someone close is gone, it always feels a little bit like they died and are never coming back. I'm assuming that's part of my panic disorder, and I know it's completely irrational, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with on a regular basis. I usually manage to distract myself for the most part until they get back, but I'm never quite at ease. Something is always clutching at my coat tails.