Wheels!
I got my bike back! It was just where I'd put it, in the shed behind my old house. I ended up rousting my ex-roommate/landlord, who seemed rather surprised to see me, but who didn't block me from grabbing my bike. It was in the shed, under a bunch of crap, and covered in insects the like of which I never have seen before, but I got it out, cleaned it off, hauled it over to the gas station, and filled up the deflated tires. I rode it the 10 blocks to the bus stop(they're far away and I didn't have my helmet with me), and it seems to be in good working order. I'm glad I found a way to leave it indoors this whole time - otherwise it'd be just a huge mass of rust by now. I'm super happy to have a bike again - it'll make life in general more accessible, especially now that the weather has cooled off a bit.