need a change not to imitate but to irritate
So things have been alright lately... maybe it's because i've been sick the past week and my mom is always nice to me when i'm sick cause she feels bad for me... i'm thinking i was crazy to move back home, but then i remember i really didnt have a choice at the time because i wasn't working.. no work=no money... no money=no food, so i guess i had to. I don't know how long this is going to last for though... every time i move home it's for a shorter amount of time. hopefully things will remain kind of peaceful for another month or so, so that i will be able to save up some more money... it's already getting bad though.. everything i was afraid of happening is starting to happen.. and i tell myself yet again i told you so. nothing ever changes with her.. every promise she makes me to help me out is only so that when things get bad she can hold it over my head. i just stay at home less and less.. the less i'm here the less we're likely to fight.... o well atleast i can count on something.... yesterday i found out my cousin is in the hospital... he was cutting down trees at someones house and the tree shifted and because he was yelling at his son to get out of the way he didn't have time to get out of the way and it fell and crushed him from the waist down pretty much.... he's going to be in the hospital for a long time... i feel so bad because him and his family are some of the only people that do not think i'm this horrible person but actually see the good in me and will stand up for me... I want to go see him and help out his family but i can't because i have school and work.. both of which i love and don't want to give up and if i just left i would have to give one or both up... so i'm just stuck here thinking about it... hopefully i'll be able to go see him next month when everything settles down... on a brighter note though i started school and my new job at cafe o lei... i love makeup school it's sooo awesome.. i just get to do make up all day which is like my dream.. class goes by so fast.. even the 8 and half hour class on saturday.. which sucks because i wont have any saturdays really until may but i figure it'll be worth it in the end... i just have to make sure i go to class which is always a challenge with me... but everyone believes that i can do this so it helps me believe that i can do well in this class and some how make it part of my career... Work is awesome too.. it's been so long since i loved my job.. i think probably about a year.. but everyone there is so nice and they totally work around my school schedule which is really hard to find... so i'm super happy there... oh ya ... i'm also hoping that i can get my tatoo on friday.. i have the money i just hope that i can get in on friday cause it's my only day off this week.. and i really really really want it.. i finally got the design i want so i'm super excited... well i think that's all that's new with me and i'm tired so i'm going to bed....