(no subject)
tonight will be for the public
What makes Jenn a ‘bitch’ is her pride
She needs guys to constantly boost it
She is a bitch to guys so her pride doesn’t get hurt
And yeah, I did do that too this year
It was easier not to get hurt
I looked at Jenn and she looked so happy
Nothing made her cry
People told her she was heartless and she didn’t care
I read that as confidence. I never had real confidence.
Even though this is a disgusting example, I WAS really hurt when wells didn’t want me anymore
Jenn wouldn't have been hurt (this should have told me something)
Before this year, I cried openly. . I cried when I was a sophomore and Jordan and I talked about breaking up when he went to college
This year. . I would have said fuck you for bringing that up and hurting me
Every time I hung up on Jordan, I was running away from getting my pride hurt
I wanted to call Jordan back, but that would have hurt it more
Having pride is addictive, and once you get rolling on it, it’s hard to stop
That night Jordan said he didn’t want to be with me, my pride left
I tore it down when I called him back
I had thrown my phone in the trashcan in the bathroom
But I came back, and got it, and called you
(Fucking getting hepatitis B)
jordan means more to me than my pride does apparently
I feel like in essence, in that moment, I chose you over everything I had built up over the school year
I am not saying this to justify my actions, or try to resurrect them
I am not perfect yet
But I am working things out
I am getting to know WHO I am. Who I want to be
------------------------------------------------
jord and car ass: i know
jord and car ass: do you realize how scared i am of hurting you
jord and car ass: was so easy to fuckup last time
jord and car ass: and i let everything i felt for you get so out of hand
jord and car ass: and take so mucxh control over me
jord and car ass: and i got in over my head
jord and car ass: but like
jord and car ass: i like being in over my head with you
Sugarbabie888: no, you don't
jord and car ass: i do
Sugarbabie888: ~_~
jord and car ass: you mkae me feel like life has some sort of point
jord and car ass: lol
Sugarbabie888: go write a book
Sugarbabie888: lol
jord and car ass: you make me know what it is to be truly loved
---------------------------------------------------------------
It’s become quite apparent you can’t have your cake and eat it to
What is left has gone stale
No, I dont want you're cake
If it tastes good, I want you to experience it too
Plus, I'm fat and mine probably tastes better anyways :p
(I may of course ask for a sip of your milk please&thankyou)
---------------------------------------------------------------
Last night I dreamed about water slides. Look it up in the dream dictionary. Apparently I "Dont have control over what is happening in my life." Who the fuck does?
---------------------------------------
and here's a lovely poem
An infant gets its scull crushed
Dead
Never got a chance to know what pain was
Before it perished
Not because it died so rapidly
But because it was ignorant to life
And as it felt the pain, it couldn’t place it
It didn’t know it was dying
Maybe that is heaven in itself
What makes Jenn a ‘bitch’ is her pride
She needs guys to constantly boost it
She is a bitch to guys so her pride doesn’t get hurt
And yeah, I did do that too this year
It was easier not to get hurt
I looked at Jenn and she looked so happy
Nothing made her cry
People told her she was heartless and she didn’t care
I read that as confidence. I never had real confidence.
Even though this is a disgusting example, I WAS really hurt when wells didn’t want me anymore
Jenn wouldn't have been hurt (this should have told me something)
Before this year, I cried openly. . I cried when I was a sophomore and Jordan and I talked about breaking up when he went to college
This year. . I would have said fuck you for bringing that up and hurting me
Every time I hung up on Jordan, I was running away from getting my pride hurt
I wanted to call Jordan back, but that would have hurt it more
Having pride is addictive, and once you get rolling on it, it’s hard to stop
That night Jordan said he didn’t want to be with me, my pride left
I tore it down when I called him back
I had thrown my phone in the trashcan in the bathroom
But I came back, and got it, and called you
(Fucking getting hepatitis B)
jordan means more to me than my pride does apparently
I feel like in essence, in that moment, I chose you over everything I had built up over the school year
I am not saying this to justify my actions, or try to resurrect them
I am not perfect yet
But I am working things out
I am getting to know WHO I am. Who I want to be
------------------------------------------------
jord and car ass: i know
jord and car ass: do you realize how scared i am of hurting you
jord and car ass: was so easy to fuckup last time
jord and car ass: and i let everything i felt for you get so out of hand
jord and car ass: and take so mucxh control over me
jord and car ass: and i got in over my head
jord and car ass: but like
jord and car ass: i like being in over my head with you
Sugarbabie888: no, you don't
jord and car ass: i do
Sugarbabie888: ~_~
jord and car ass: you mkae me feel like life has some sort of point
jord and car ass: lol
Sugarbabie888: go write a book
Sugarbabie888: lol
jord and car ass: you make me know what it is to be truly loved
---------------------------------------------------------------
It’s become quite apparent you can’t have your cake and eat it to
What is left has gone stale
No, I dont want you're cake
If it tastes good, I want you to experience it too
Plus, I'm fat and mine probably tastes better anyways :p
(I may of course ask for a sip of your milk please&thankyou)
---------------------------------------------------------------
Last night I dreamed about water slides. Look it up in the dream dictionary. Apparently I "Dont have control over what is happening in my life." Who the fuck does?
---------------------------------------
and here's a lovely poem
An infant gets its scull crushed
Dead
Never got a chance to know what pain was
Before it perished
Not because it died so rapidly
But because it was ignorant to life
And as it felt the pain, it couldn’t place it
It didn’t know it was dying
Maybe that is heaven in itself