More Than Friends
Pairing: A/O, A/S
Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to Dick Wolf.
Spoilers: None
Summary: What if one dinner could change everything?
*Note: Here is the next installment to the story. I hope you like it. As always, let me know what you think. Thank you so much for reading. By the way, there are four chapters because Katy1630 demanded it. :)
Chapter 7
Dinner went much better than they had expected; at least for Serena and Abbie it did. They were so into one another that neither seemed to notice that neither Alex nor Olivia made the effort to offer an uncomfortable hug or even shake hands when they met; just a quick hello. The conversation flowed seamlessly between Abbie and Serena over the course of the meal, although Alex and Olivia had remained fairly silent the entire time. It was Serena who finally caught a glimpse of the two reluctant women stealing glances at one another when the other wasn’t looking. She got Abbie’s attention and tilted her head in their direction. Abbie got the picture.
“So… Alex, how has life been since you’ve been back in the city?” Abbie asked lamely.
“It’s been…wonderful, Abbie. Thank you for asking.” Came the cool response.
“I heard that you’re a Bureau Chief now. That sounds exciting.”
She took a sip of wine before placing it back on the table. “It has its highlights. But to be honest, it’s nothing like my old job.” Olivia looked up and met her eyes and held them before Alex looked away. “It gets a little tricky trying to baby-sit so many young lawyers who think they know everything already.”
Olivia snorted. “I’m sorry. I just find it a little ironic that you have that job now. I seem to remember you being a lot like that when we met. But I guess you don’t remember much about that part of your life though.”
Alex gave her a tight smile. “I remember enough. But it is funny how things change.” You’ve changed.
“I don’t know if funny is how I’d phrase it.” Olivia knew that was a low blow, but somehow she couldn’t help it. Seeing Alex again, sitting across from her, looking completely calm and seemingly unaffected by her presence, reminded her just how pissed she was and why. Why am I so pissed? Why do I even care what she thinks? Oh, just give it up. You know why she gets to you, Benson.
“And how would you phrase it… Detective?” Why am I letting her get to me?
Oh boy! Serena thought. Alex was using her courtroom voice. “More wine anyone?”
Olivia immediately accepted. She knew she was going to need more alcohol to get through the remainder of this night.
“So, Counselor, where’s your fiancé this evening? What was his name again?” She snapped her fingers a few times and acted as though she was trying to remember. “Um… Ricky?”
Alex glared across the table. “His name was Richard?”
“Was?”
“Yes. Richard and I are no longer together.” But I’m betting that you already knew that.
Olivia moved her leg over just in time to avoid Abbie’s kick. “Oh, I’m sorry to here that.”
“No need, Detective. Richard and I are still very good friends.”
“Speaking of friends, how long have you and Serena been friends?” Abbie asked trying to move on and ease the tension. What the hell are you doing, Liv?
Alex had to think. She looked at Serena for confirmation. “First year of law school, right?”
Serena nodded. “Alex was that annoying student who could recite all the past rulings and statutes without even thinking. I figured if I took mercy on her and hung out with her, some of it might rub off on me.” Alex blushed and looked away.
Abbie laughed. “Did it work?”
Serena rolled her eyes. “Not a chance. I had to buckle down and study just like the rest of them. I guess I wasn’t blessed with that gene. Cabot over here never forgets a thing.”
“Oh, I think she’s forgotten a thing or two over the years. Haven’t you, Counselor?”
Alex could feel the heat behind Olivia’s glare. Why are you baiting me? “I’m sure I have, Detective.”
Abbie decided to jump back in. “Well since you’re the best friend, I guess I should ask you how I’m doing tonight?”
Alex raised a brow and glanced at Serena. “I think you’re doing fine. I just hope that it’s genuine. Serena was excited about you once before.”
Alex kicked herself mentally. She hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but Olivia was doing a great job pushing all of her buttons.
“How would you know? You weren’t here.” Olivia blurted out. The wine was definitely loosening her up.
Abbie looked a little apprehensive. “It’s alright, Liv.”
“I don’t think it is.” Brown eyes were shooting daggers into the blue across the table.
Okay, this isn’t going well. Serena thought.
Alex knew she should have let it go, but the competitor in her wouldn’t allow it. “Well since you obviously were here and you’re in the answering mood, I have a question for you. You know Abbie pretty well, probably better than anyone, don’t you?”
Olivia looked at Alex suspiciously. “You could say that. Yes.” Where are you going with this Cabot?
“Well, you might be the best person to ask then.”
Olivia looked a little nervous. Why did Cabot’s questioning her always make her nervous?
“Exactly what did Serena do wrong the first time around with your best friend?”
The question threw them all off. Abbie nearly choked on her wine while Olivia seemed to panic. She hadn’t expected that one.
Serena sat up in her chair, suddenly intrigued by the new line of questioning. She knew it really wasn’t the time or place, but she wanted to know the answer herself.
“I don’t think I’m the best person to answer that. You should probably ask Abbie.”
“But I’m asking you. You’re her best friend. If you two are anything like Serena and me, there isn’t much you don’t know about one another.”
Olivia looked at Abbie for help. Abbie nodded giving her consent. Olivia sighed and thought for a moment. “You want the truth?”
“Of course.”
“Not that I think it’s any of your business, but…” She looked across the table at Serena. “She didn’t do anything wrong.”
“She’s right. It wasn’t you. It was me, Serena.” Abbie said quietly. “I’d like to talk to you about that, but I was hoping we could have that conversation a little later.”
“Why not now?” Came the unexpected response from Serena. All three heads turned in her direction. “It’s a simple question and we’re all friends here, right? What did I do to make you pull away from me?”
When Abbie didn’t answer, Alex felt herself becoming protective of Serena’s feelings. “You did ask her out and you gave her the assumption that things had changed. Don’t you think you owe her an explanation, at the very least?”
Olivia snorted. “You have some nerve.” She mumbled under her breath.
“What was that, Detective? Don’t you know that it’s impolite to mumble in the presence of others?” Alex glared in her direction. “If you have something to say, please feel free.”
Olivia tried to remind herself that this wasn’t about her and Alex. She took a deep breath and calmed herself. “What I meant to say was that… people make mistakes. We all do, don’t we Counselor? Surely you wouldn’t have the nerve to believe that no one makes them.”
She held Olivia’s gaze a long time. “Yes. I do believe that Detective Benson is correct. How about we talk about something else?”
Abbie wasn’t paying attention to Alex or Olivia anymore. She was looking at the sudden withdrawal of her own date. She felt her chance with Serena slipping away. It’s now or never, Carmichael. Just tell her the truth.
“No, let’s not change the subject. She’s right. I do owe you an explanation, Serena.” She wrung her hands tightly in her lap as she looked at Serena. “I didn’t expect to have an audience for this, but I guess now is as good a time as ever. I… uh…”
“Abbie…” Olivia knew where this was going and she tried to interrupt, but Abbie just kept talking.
“Before you, I kept things simple. I didn’t do relationships. I would tell myself that it was because I didn’t have the time and because my work was my mistress. And while both of those things are true, they weren’t the real reasons. Serena, I… I… See, it’s not easy for me to trust people.”
“You don’t have to do this now, Abbie.” Olivia said softly.
Alex noticed the concern in Olivia’s eyes. She recognized that look. She’d seen it numerous times before. “Olivia is right, Abbie. You don’t need to talk about this now. Whatever you need to say should be between you and Serena.”
Olivia stared at Alex. She noted that was the first time that Alex had called her by her first name all night. Dammit! Just when I get ready to write her off, she up and does something like that.
Abbie gave them both a grateful smile. “I know and thank you.” She turned back to Serena. “But if it means showing you what you mean to me, then so be it. I’ll do this now.”
Serena was confused. It seemed like everyone at the table knew something that she didn’t. “Abbie, maybe you should…”
Abbie cut her off and continued. “Serena, when I was a freshman in college, I… I was raped.” The entire table grew quiet. A few moments passed before she continued. She looked everywhere but Serena’s eyes. “Umm… like I said, I was a freshman and he was an older, more experienced law student. I was young, naïve, and incredibly idealistic. I thought everyone else in the world had been raised to honor and respect women like I had been. So… as they say in Texas, I was easy pickings.”
Serena quickly reached across the table and took her hand, eyes misting over. “Abbie, it wasn’t your fault.”
“Oh, I know that…now.” Abbie smiled sadly. “Liv helped me see that. But back then, after it happened, I blamed myself. I thought it was because I wasn’t in control of the situation…because I couldn’t control the person I was with. After that, I promised myself that I’d never be in that situation again. I swore that I would always be in control and never allow myself to feel weak again. So, whenever things got too serious or I started to feel something real, I cut and ran. And believe it or not, it always worked. Then you came along and…turned everything upside down. You made me feel more than anyone ever had and that scared me so I shut you out. I know I hurt you and it’s not a real good excuse, but I am sorry.”
Serena blinked at the moisture in her eyes. “Oh, Abbie…”
“I don’t want to run anymore, Serena. That’s why I called you and asked for a second chance.”
Serena kissed the palm of the hand she was holding. “I’m so glad you did and I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Abbie shrugged her shoulders and blinked back the tears in her eyes. “I’m okay now…better than I’ve been in a long time.”
Alex pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “I’m sorry, Abbie. I feel like… this is my fault. I brought all of this up and I had no right to push you.”
Abbie looked at her with the strangest look on her face. She slowly smiled and shook her head. “It’s funny. Liv, said the exact same thing when she called me on my bullshit and I finally had to tell her.” She looked between the two of them. “You two really are a pair.”
Before anyone could respond, Alex’s cell phone went off. “I’m sorry guys. This phone is for emergencies only. I really have to take this.”
Olivia watched her as she stepped away to take the call. Her gaze drifted back to the table and she smiled softly as she watched the loving glances and touches between Abbie and Serena. Well what do you know? Maybe talking about it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
“I’m so sorry guys. That was my deputy. I need to go down to the office to handle a few things.” Alex gave Serena a regretful look.
“I thought it was your night off.” Serena asked.
“It is, but…”
“When you’re the boss, you’re never really off the clock are you?” Abbie finished.
“True.” She looked down still feeling guilty about earlier. “I apologize again, Abbie. I…”
Abbie waved her off. “There’s nothing to apologize for, Alex. I think you did me a favor anyway.”
“Okay, well I should go try and catch a cab. Jim sounded a little worried.” She started gathering her purse.
“I should just go with you. I don’t want you to be alone.”
When Serena started to stand, Abbie tightened her hold on her hand. Oh no! Not so fast. I don’t want this to be over yet.
“Nonsense. Liv drove her car. She could drive you, Alex.” Abbie kicked Olivia in the shin under the table. This time she hit her mark. It took everything in the detective not to howl. “Couldn’t you, Liv?” You owe me for being a jackass all throughout dinner.
Olivia blinked a few times and mentally swore to wring Abbie’s neck later. “Umm… sure. I can take you, Alex.”
“That’s not…”
Alex was shaking her head when Serena gave her a stern look. You owe me, Cabot. “Actually, Alex would love for you to, wouldn’t you Alex?”
Alex clenched her teeth and flashed Serena a look that said I will get you later. “Thank you. I’d appreciate that very much, Detective.”
Olivia stood and gathered her coat. “Well let’s go then.”
Abbie and Serena said goodnight and watched them leave. Serena smirked after they were gone. “Very slick, Ms. Carmichael. But I’m not sure that was such a good idea.”
“Maybe not, but I’m not really worried about them right now. I think you and I have a lot to talk about and I’d rather not have an audience for the rest of it.”
“I agree, but I’d rather talk in the comfort of my own home. Do you think you can remember the way?”
Abbie smiled. “I think I can manage.”
Chapter 8
“My office is at ….”
“I know where your office is.” Olivia said coolly.
Alex sighed. “You know you didn’t have to do this if you didn’t want to.”
“I know, but I got the feeling that Abbie needed to be alone with Serena. They obviously have a lot to discuss after tonight’s enlightening conversation.”
You blame me and you’re angry at me too. “I really didn’t mean for all of that to happen.”
“I’m sure you didn’t.” Olivia pulled up in front of the office and shut the car off. “We’re here.”
“You don’t sound too convinced of that.”
“Why do you care what I think? It was Abbie’s story, not mine.”
Alex rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the fact that Olivia was treating her so cold. Once they reached her office, she’d had enough. “Well, I’m safely tucked in my office building. You don’t have to stay. I’m fully capable of taking a cab home, Detective.”
“I’m sure you are, but I said I’d see you home and I will. I’ll wait here in the hall until you’re finished.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Forty-five minutes later, Olivia found herself still sitting in the hallway while Alex tore Jim Steele and some young guy a new asshole. From what she could hear from the muffled yells, one or both of them had nearly thrown an important case. A few more minutes passed before Jim Steele came storming out in a rage with the younger guy scurrying close behind looking slightly wounded. The entire scene brought back a sense of nostalgia for the detective. She remembered being on the receiving end of Cabot’s wrath on more than one occasion and for a moment, she allowed herself to smile.
The door to the office remained open and curiosity finally got the best of Olivia. She poked her head inside to see the blonde staring out the window. Olivia knew that she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help it. She stood there for a moment and allowed herself to indulge in the beauty before her. Alex was more beautiful than she’d remembered. Her hair was longer and slightly darker, almost golden. It looked as though she had put on a little weight which filled out her figure perfectly. Her eyes were intense and as blue as the bluest sea peering through those same black rimmed glasses. The pale moonlight coming through the window gave her a pure and angelic glow. To Olivia, she was simply stunning.
She finally forced herself to look away and cleared her throat. “Um… everything okay?”
Alex shifted quickly and turned around. “Yes. Crisis averted.”
“I can take you home now if you’d like.”
“You really don’t have to do that, Detect…”
“Could we just stop with the Detective bullshit!” The tensions of the evening had finally worn on her. “My name is Olivia or did you forget that too!”
“Excuse me! What is that supposed to mean?”
“You used to call me Olivia.” The pressure of the entire evening weighing heavily on her, she felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. “You know what, forget it! Let’s just go.”
“No! You’ve been baiting me all night. It’s obvious that you have something to say, so just say it!”
“Fine! What happened to you?! Were we not good enough… worthy enough to even rate a fucking phone call, Cabot!” Olivia stepped forward, voice rising with every step.
“What?”
“You heard me just fine!”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s just like you to just assume things! You always did when it came to me.” Alex threw back rounding the desk.
“The only thing I assumed was that we were friends. More than friends, I thought. “But you know what they say about making assumptions; makes an ass out of you and me.”
Alex ground her teeth. “Like I said, you know nothing about….”
“What I know is that I lay with you on that sidewalk! I held you while you nearly bled to death!” Olivia’s voice nearly cracked. “I lied for you.”
“You think I don’t remember! I have the fucking scars to prove it!”
“You have a funny way of showing it!”
“Why? Because I refuse to live my life stuck in that moment. I lost enough time; over three years as a matter of fact. I don’t need anyone’s permission to move on with my life!”
“Oh and you really moved on didn’t you.” She took a step closer. They were only a couple of feet apart. “You came back and got a fancy new job and a whole new life and to hell with anyone who gave a damn about you in the past, right?”
“That’s not true! I tried….”
“You know, you actually had me fooled, Alex.” Olivia laughed bitterly. “I thought you were more than just another rich debutante using the system as a stepping stone. But I guess I’m the fool because you actually told us what your motives were from the beginning, didn’t you? You never lied about that. You just lied about everything else.”
Alex stepped back as if someone had punched her. Olivia’s insinuation physically hurt. “You really do think that little of me, don’t you?”
“Oh, don’t go playing the wounded victim! Everything I just said is the truth and you know it! You came back and settled into your cozy knew job and life. Hell, you even had the rich fiancé to boot! But I guess he didn’t fit into your plans either. Poor guy probably didn’t even know what hit him. You really don’t have a problem throwing people aside like trash, do you?”
Alex could barely see from the tears in her eyes. She could handle just about any insult thrown at her, but not from Olivia… never Olivia. “Go to hell, Olivia.”
“Too late. I’ve been there and back already. You’ll have to excuse me, but I want off this ride honey.”
“Get out.” The words came out as a near growl.
“With pleasure.”
The sound of the door slamming echoed throughout the halls. Olivia on one side angry and hurt; Alex on the other devastated and disillusioned, with both in tears.
Chapter 9
The remainder of the weekend was a blur and Olivia found herself back at her desk bright and early Monday morning. It had been a challenge getting out of bed though. She’d spent what was left of Saturday night and a good part of Sunday sulking around her apartment. By the way she was feeling, she was sure that she’d had one beer too many last night. She just couldn’t get the argument with Alex out of her mind. She hadn’t meant to say all those things. Truthfully, she didn’t mean any of it. It was like her tongue had a mind of its own. The words just seemed to fly out. But now they were out; and there was no taking them back.
“Hey Liv. How was your hot date Saturday night?”
Olivia looked up from her paperwork and saw Fin strolling in. She frowned. “How did you know I had a date?”
“I didn’t.” He smirked as he poured his coffee. He came around and took a seat at his desk promptly propping his feet up while sipping his coffee. “I saw you.”
“You saw me?”
“Yeah, at the Château.”
“You were at the Château Saturday night?”
“Yeah. I was there with my date. Some of the women I date actually like fine dining. You got a problem with that?” Fin said defensively.
“No! I was just…just surprised. You don’t look like a Château kind of guy.”
Fin laughed. “Relax, Liv. I’m just screwing with ya, girl.”
“I didn’t see you.”
“I’m sure you didn’t. Your eyes were pretty occupied by that fine date of yours.” He gave her a sly wink. “How is the lovely Ms.Cabot, by the way?”
“It wasn’t a date!” Olivia quickly explained. “Well, at least I wasn’t on a date. Abby and Serena were. Alex and I were just…. It wasn’t a date.”
Fin raised his brows. “O..kay. Whatever. That’s cool. It’s good to see Cabot feeling better though. She looked fantastic. The last time I saw her, she seemed a little out of sorts.”
Olivia’s expression changed to confusion. “You saw Alex? When?”
Fin shrugged as he got up to refresh his coffee. “I donno… a while ago. Right around the time that she came back, I guess.”
“But you never said anything.”
“Was I supposed to? It wasn’t a big deal. We just bumped into each other at the DA’s office.” He sat back down and faced Olivia. “It was kinda strange though. Most people in her position would have been on cloud nine about being home, but she seemed kinda… I don’t know… lost.”
“Lost?” Olivia’s stomach lurched. Fin’s words just added to her already guilty conscience.
“Yeah. She seemed so happy to see me. She even hugged me, and you know that’s not like Cabot.” He smiled a little. “There were all these important people around wanting to talk to her and she didn’t seem to care. She asked me out to lunch. We went down to Pete’s stand and had a hot dog together. She spent about and hour just asking about you guys and trying to catch up.”
“She asked about… the squad?”
Fin shrugged. “Yeah. Just basic stuff, mostly about you and Elliot.”
Olivia felt nauseous.
Fin had a thoughtful expression on his face. “Must be strange, ya know… to come home and everything and everybody be different.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just glad she’s adjusting. Cabot was always cool with me.”
Olivia swallowed hard. “Yeah.” It’s official. Benson, you’re an asshole.
“I got bagels!” Elliot said loudly making his way in with Munch close behind. Before long, the precinct was in full swing and everybody eased into their morning routines; everybody except Olivia that is. Her mind kept drifting back to the argument she’d had with Alex and her conversation with Fin. The more she tried to reconcile the two, the more guilty she felt.
Could I have been that wrong about her?
“Hey Liv! Earth to Olivia!”
Olivia blinked and saw her partner snapping his fingers in front of her face trying to get her attention. “Huh?”
“I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes. What’s up with you today?”
Olivia ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Are you okay, Liv?”
Olivia shook her head. “No, I don’t think I am.” She glanced at her watch. “Can you cover for me for an hour or so? There’s something I need to do.”
His brows rose in confusion. “Uh… sure. I’ll just tell Cap that you’re checking out a lead on a cold case. No big deal. You sure you don’t want me to come?”
“Yeah.” She grabbed her jacket and keys. “I need to do this alone.”
Chapter 10
Olivia stopped at the front desk and flashed her badge. “Hi. Um….” She glanced between the name plate and the woman. “Charlotte?”
The woman smiled and nodded. “Yes. Can I help you?”
“Yes, you can. I need to speak with Ms. Cabot. It’s important.”
The Charlotte looked at her badge carefully. “She’s in a meeting at the moment, but by the sound of things she should be finishing up soon.”
It didn’t take Olivia long to figure out what she meant. She heard the unmistakable tone of a very pissed Alex Cabot.
“I don’t care what your feelings are about this case! This is the DA’s office. We don’t deal with feelings. We deal with facts.”
“But Ms. Cabot….”
“You have one job and one job only. That is to take this case to trial and get a conviction! If you don’t have enough evidence, you get the detectives to go out and get you more. You are not here to cut deals because you think you can’t win! Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll do my best.”
“Just make sure it’s enough to get a conviction.”
Olivia watched a young red head practically come running out of the conference room in tears. She turned back to the secretary who gave her a sympathetic look.
“She’s got fifteen minutes before her next meeting. You can go in at your own risk. Good luck.”
“Thanks.” Olivia swallowed hard and slowly approached the door. I think I’m going to need it. She didn’t know if she should knock or just walk in. The decision was made for her.
“You’re early, Jim. But that’s nothing new.” Alex had yet to turn around. She sighed tiredly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Come on in and close the door. We might as well get star…” She froze when she turned and saw Olivia closing the door behind her.
For a moment, Olivia thought she saw tenderness in the blue eyes before her, but it almost instantly turned to hurt then rage. “What are you doing here?”
“Alex, I need to talk to you.” Olivia took a step forward only to see Alex take a step back.
“I believe you’ve already said everything you needed to say to me, Detective.”
“No… I was… I was just angry and a little hurt and…”
The blonde’s brows rose with surprise. “You were hurt? You?!”
“Alex, I know I said a lot of things that were out of line. That’s why I’m here. I was wrong and I didn’t mean…”
“Oh yes you did. You meant every single word. Don’t try to take them back now.”
Again Olivia stepped forward only this time Alex moved to the other side of the conference table. “Alex, just let me ex….”
“Alex, I know I’m early but…” Jim Steele’s words trailed off once he realized that they were not alone. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were alone. I’ll just…”
“No, stay Jim. Detective Benson was just leaving.”
“Alex, you need to hear me out.”
Fire flashed behind blue eyes. “What I need is for you to leave…now.”
“Alex…”
“I don’t want to see you… ever again.”
Alex’s words came out precise and cold as ever. They cut right through Olivia. It felt like a sledgehammer had struck her in the chest making it hard to breath. She had come there wanting to explain, but seeing the hurt and anger in the blue eyes she adored so much made her realize that there were no words to make things right. She’d made her bed, now she had to lie in it.
Without another word, Alex sat down at the head of the conference table and prepared for her meeting with Jim. She didn’t even spare Olivia a second glance as she quietly left the room.
“Alex, are you alright? We can do this later if you need a minute.”
Alex ignored Jim’s question. “What’s first on the agenda?” When Jim didn’t answer, Alex sent a chilling glare his way. “You only have fifteen minutes, Mr. Steele. I suggest you get down to business.”
And they did even though Alex was dying inside.
TBC.... Please don't kill me yet! I promise to make it better really soon. :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to Dick Wolf.
Spoilers: None
Summary: What if one dinner could change everything?
*Note: Here is the next installment to the story. I hope you like it. As always, let me know what you think. Thank you so much for reading. By the way, there are four chapters because Katy1630 demanded it. :)
Chapter 7
Dinner went much better than they had expected; at least for Serena and Abbie it did. They were so into one another that neither seemed to notice that neither Alex nor Olivia made the effort to offer an uncomfortable hug or even shake hands when they met; just a quick hello. The conversation flowed seamlessly between Abbie and Serena over the course of the meal, although Alex and Olivia had remained fairly silent the entire time. It was Serena who finally caught a glimpse of the two reluctant women stealing glances at one another when the other wasn’t looking. She got Abbie’s attention and tilted her head in their direction. Abbie got the picture.
“So… Alex, how has life been since you’ve been back in the city?” Abbie asked lamely.
“It’s been…wonderful, Abbie. Thank you for asking.” Came the cool response.
“I heard that you’re a Bureau Chief now. That sounds exciting.”
She took a sip of wine before placing it back on the table. “It has its highlights. But to be honest, it’s nothing like my old job.” Olivia looked up and met her eyes and held them before Alex looked away. “It gets a little tricky trying to baby-sit so many young lawyers who think they know everything already.”
Olivia snorted. “I’m sorry. I just find it a little ironic that you have that job now. I seem to remember you being a lot like that when we met. But I guess you don’t remember much about that part of your life though.”
Alex gave her a tight smile. “I remember enough. But it is funny how things change.” You’ve changed.
“I don’t know if funny is how I’d phrase it.” Olivia knew that was a low blow, but somehow she couldn’t help it. Seeing Alex again, sitting across from her, looking completely calm and seemingly unaffected by her presence, reminded her just how pissed she was and why. Why am I so pissed? Why do I even care what she thinks? Oh, just give it up. You know why she gets to you, Benson.
“And how would you phrase it… Detective?” Why am I letting her get to me?
Oh boy! Serena thought. Alex was using her courtroom voice. “More wine anyone?”
Olivia immediately accepted. She knew she was going to need more alcohol to get through the remainder of this night.
“So, Counselor, where’s your fiancé this evening? What was his name again?” She snapped her fingers a few times and acted as though she was trying to remember. “Um… Ricky?”
Alex glared across the table. “His name was Richard?”
“Was?”
“Yes. Richard and I are no longer together.” But I’m betting that you already knew that.
Olivia moved her leg over just in time to avoid Abbie’s kick. “Oh, I’m sorry to here that.”
“No need, Detective. Richard and I are still very good friends.”
“Speaking of friends, how long have you and Serena been friends?” Abbie asked trying to move on and ease the tension. What the hell are you doing, Liv?
Alex had to think. She looked at Serena for confirmation. “First year of law school, right?”
Serena nodded. “Alex was that annoying student who could recite all the past rulings and statutes without even thinking. I figured if I took mercy on her and hung out with her, some of it might rub off on me.” Alex blushed and looked away.
Abbie laughed. “Did it work?”
Serena rolled her eyes. “Not a chance. I had to buckle down and study just like the rest of them. I guess I wasn’t blessed with that gene. Cabot over here never forgets a thing.”
“Oh, I think she’s forgotten a thing or two over the years. Haven’t you, Counselor?”
Alex could feel the heat behind Olivia’s glare. Why are you baiting me? “I’m sure I have, Detective.”
Abbie decided to jump back in. “Well since you’re the best friend, I guess I should ask you how I’m doing tonight?”
Alex raised a brow and glanced at Serena. “I think you’re doing fine. I just hope that it’s genuine. Serena was excited about you once before.”
Alex kicked herself mentally. She hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but Olivia was doing a great job pushing all of her buttons.
“How would you know? You weren’t here.” Olivia blurted out. The wine was definitely loosening her up.
Abbie looked a little apprehensive. “It’s alright, Liv.”
“I don’t think it is.” Brown eyes were shooting daggers into the blue across the table.
Okay, this isn’t going well. Serena thought.
Alex knew she should have let it go, but the competitor in her wouldn’t allow it. “Well since you obviously were here and you’re in the answering mood, I have a question for you. You know Abbie pretty well, probably better than anyone, don’t you?”
Olivia looked at Alex suspiciously. “You could say that. Yes.” Where are you going with this Cabot?
“Well, you might be the best person to ask then.”
Olivia looked a little nervous. Why did Cabot’s questioning her always make her nervous?
“Exactly what did Serena do wrong the first time around with your best friend?”
The question threw them all off. Abbie nearly choked on her wine while Olivia seemed to panic. She hadn’t expected that one.
Serena sat up in her chair, suddenly intrigued by the new line of questioning. She knew it really wasn’t the time or place, but she wanted to know the answer herself.
“I don’t think I’m the best person to answer that. You should probably ask Abbie.”
“But I’m asking you. You’re her best friend. If you two are anything like Serena and me, there isn’t much you don’t know about one another.”
Olivia looked at Abbie for help. Abbie nodded giving her consent. Olivia sighed and thought for a moment. “You want the truth?”
“Of course.”
“Not that I think it’s any of your business, but…” She looked across the table at Serena. “She didn’t do anything wrong.”
“She’s right. It wasn’t you. It was me, Serena.” Abbie said quietly. “I’d like to talk to you about that, but I was hoping we could have that conversation a little later.”
“Why not now?” Came the unexpected response from Serena. All three heads turned in her direction. “It’s a simple question and we’re all friends here, right? What did I do to make you pull away from me?”
When Abbie didn’t answer, Alex felt herself becoming protective of Serena’s feelings. “You did ask her out and you gave her the assumption that things had changed. Don’t you think you owe her an explanation, at the very least?”
Olivia snorted. “You have some nerve.” She mumbled under her breath.
“What was that, Detective? Don’t you know that it’s impolite to mumble in the presence of others?” Alex glared in her direction. “If you have something to say, please feel free.”
Olivia tried to remind herself that this wasn’t about her and Alex. She took a deep breath and calmed herself. “What I meant to say was that… people make mistakes. We all do, don’t we Counselor? Surely you wouldn’t have the nerve to believe that no one makes them.”
She held Olivia’s gaze a long time. “Yes. I do believe that Detective Benson is correct. How about we talk about something else?”
Abbie wasn’t paying attention to Alex or Olivia anymore. She was looking at the sudden withdrawal of her own date. She felt her chance with Serena slipping away. It’s now or never, Carmichael. Just tell her the truth.
“No, let’s not change the subject. She’s right. I do owe you an explanation, Serena.” She wrung her hands tightly in her lap as she looked at Serena. “I didn’t expect to have an audience for this, but I guess now is as good a time as ever. I… uh…”
“Abbie…” Olivia knew where this was going and she tried to interrupt, but Abbie just kept talking.
“Before you, I kept things simple. I didn’t do relationships. I would tell myself that it was because I didn’t have the time and because my work was my mistress. And while both of those things are true, they weren’t the real reasons. Serena, I… I… See, it’s not easy for me to trust people.”
“You don’t have to do this now, Abbie.” Olivia said softly.
Alex noticed the concern in Olivia’s eyes. She recognized that look. She’d seen it numerous times before. “Olivia is right, Abbie. You don’t need to talk about this now. Whatever you need to say should be between you and Serena.”
Olivia stared at Alex. She noted that was the first time that Alex had called her by her first name all night. Dammit! Just when I get ready to write her off, she up and does something like that.
Abbie gave them both a grateful smile. “I know and thank you.” She turned back to Serena. “But if it means showing you what you mean to me, then so be it. I’ll do this now.”
Serena was confused. It seemed like everyone at the table knew something that she didn’t. “Abbie, maybe you should…”
Abbie cut her off and continued. “Serena, when I was a freshman in college, I… I was raped.” The entire table grew quiet. A few moments passed before she continued. She looked everywhere but Serena’s eyes. “Umm… like I said, I was a freshman and he was an older, more experienced law student. I was young, naïve, and incredibly idealistic. I thought everyone else in the world had been raised to honor and respect women like I had been. So… as they say in Texas, I was easy pickings.”
Serena quickly reached across the table and took her hand, eyes misting over. “Abbie, it wasn’t your fault.”
“Oh, I know that…now.” Abbie smiled sadly. “Liv helped me see that. But back then, after it happened, I blamed myself. I thought it was because I wasn’t in control of the situation…because I couldn’t control the person I was with. After that, I promised myself that I’d never be in that situation again. I swore that I would always be in control and never allow myself to feel weak again. So, whenever things got too serious or I started to feel something real, I cut and ran. And believe it or not, it always worked. Then you came along and…turned everything upside down. You made me feel more than anyone ever had and that scared me so I shut you out. I know I hurt you and it’s not a real good excuse, but I am sorry.”
Serena blinked at the moisture in her eyes. “Oh, Abbie…”
“I don’t want to run anymore, Serena. That’s why I called you and asked for a second chance.”
Serena kissed the palm of the hand she was holding. “I’m so glad you did and I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Abbie shrugged her shoulders and blinked back the tears in her eyes. “I’m okay now…better than I’ve been in a long time.”
Alex pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “I’m sorry, Abbie. I feel like… this is my fault. I brought all of this up and I had no right to push you.”
Abbie looked at her with the strangest look on her face. She slowly smiled and shook her head. “It’s funny. Liv, said the exact same thing when she called me on my bullshit and I finally had to tell her.” She looked between the two of them. “You two really are a pair.”
Before anyone could respond, Alex’s cell phone went off. “I’m sorry guys. This phone is for emergencies only. I really have to take this.”
Olivia watched her as she stepped away to take the call. Her gaze drifted back to the table and she smiled softly as she watched the loving glances and touches between Abbie and Serena. Well what do you know? Maybe talking about it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
“I’m so sorry guys. That was my deputy. I need to go down to the office to handle a few things.” Alex gave Serena a regretful look.
“I thought it was your night off.” Serena asked.
“It is, but…”
“When you’re the boss, you’re never really off the clock are you?” Abbie finished.
“True.” She looked down still feeling guilty about earlier. “I apologize again, Abbie. I…”
Abbie waved her off. “There’s nothing to apologize for, Alex. I think you did me a favor anyway.”
“Okay, well I should go try and catch a cab. Jim sounded a little worried.” She started gathering her purse.
“I should just go with you. I don’t want you to be alone.”
When Serena started to stand, Abbie tightened her hold on her hand. Oh no! Not so fast. I don’t want this to be over yet.
“Nonsense. Liv drove her car. She could drive you, Alex.” Abbie kicked Olivia in the shin under the table. This time she hit her mark. It took everything in the detective not to howl. “Couldn’t you, Liv?” You owe me for being a jackass all throughout dinner.
Olivia blinked a few times and mentally swore to wring Abbie’s neck later. “Umm… sure. I can take you, Alex.”
“That’s not…”
Alex was shaking her head when Serena gave her a stern look. You owe me, Cabot. “Actually, Alex would love for you to, wouldn’t you Alex?”
Alex clenched her teeth and flashed Serena a look that said I will get you later. “Thank you. I’d appreciate that very much, Detective.”
Olivia stood and gathered her coat. “Well let’s go then.”
Abbie and Serena said goodnight and watched them leave. Serena smirked after they were gone. “Very slick, Ms. Carmichael. But I’m not sure that was such a good idea.”
“Maybe not, but I’m not really worried about them right now. I think you and I have a lot to talk about and I’d rather not have an audience for the rest of it.”
“I agree, but I’d rather talk in the comfort of my own home. Do you think you can remember the way?”
Abbie smiled. “I think I can manage.”
Chapter 8
“My office is at ….”
“I know where your office is.” Olivia said coolly.
Alex sighed. “You know you didn’t have to do this if you didn’t want to.”
“I know, but I got the feeling that Abbie needed to be alone with Serena. They obviously have a lot to discuss after tonight’s enlightening conversation.”
You blame me and you’re angry at me too. “I really didn’t mean for all of that to happen.”
“I’m sure you didn’t.” Olivia pulled up in front of the office and shut the car off. “We’re here.”
“You don’t sound too convinced of that.”
“Why do you care what I think? It was Abbie’s story, not mine.”
Alex rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the fact that Olivia was treating her so cold. Once they reached her office, she’d had enough. “Well, I’m safely tucked in my office building. You don’t have to stay. I’m fully capable of taking a cab home, Detective.”
“I’m sure you are, but I said I’d see you home and I will. I’ll wait here in the hall until you’re finished.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Forty-five minutes later, Olivia found herself still sitting in the hallway while Alex tore Jim Steele and some young guy a new asshole. From what she could hear from the muffled yells, one or both of them had nearly thrown an important case. A few more minutes passed before Jim Steele came storming out in a rage with the younger guy scurrying close behind looking slightly wounded. The entire scene brought back a sense of nostalgia for the detective. She remembered being on the receiving end of Cabot’s wrath on more than one occasion and for a moment, she allowed herself to smile.
The door to the office remained open and curiosity finally got the best of Olivia. She poked her head inside to see the blonde staring out the window. Olivia knew that she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help it. She stood there for a moment and allowed herself to indulge in the beauty before her. Alex was more beautiful than she’d remembered. Her hair was longer and slightly darker, almost golden. It looked as though she had put on a little weight which filled out her figure perfectly. Her eyes were intense and as blue as the bluest sea peering through those same black rimmed glasses. The pale moonlight coming through the window gave her a pure and angelic glow. To Olivia, she was simply stunning.
She finally forced herself to look away and cleared her throat. “Um… everything okay?”
Alex shifted quickly and turned around. “Yes. Crisis averted.”
“I can take you home now if you’d like.”
“You really don’t have to do that, Detect…”
“Could we just stop with the Detective bullshit!” The tensions of the evening had finally worn on her. “My name is Olivia or did you forget that too!”
“Excuse me! What is that supposed to mean?”
“You used to call me Olivia.” The pressure of the entire evening weighing heavily on her, she felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. “You know what, forget it! Let’s just go.”
“No! You’ve been baiting me all night. It’s obvious that you have something to say, so just say it!”
“Fine! What happened to you?! Were we not good enough… worthy enough to even rate a fucking phone call, Cabot!” Olivia stepped forward, voice rising with every step.
“What?”
“You heard me just fine!”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s just like you to just assume things! You always did when it came to me.” Alex threw back rounding the desk.
“The only thing I assumed was that we were friends. More than friends, I thought. “But you know what they say about making assumptions; makes an ass out of you and me.”
Alex ground her teeth. “Like I said, you know nothing about….”
“What I know is that I lay with you on that sidewalk! I held you while you nearly bled to death!” Olivia’s voice nearly cracked. “I lied for you.”
“You think I don’t remember! I have the fucking scars to prove it!”
“You have a funny way of showing it!”
“Why? Because I refuse to live my life stuck in that moment. I lost enough time; over three years as a matter of fact. I don’t need anyone’s permission to move on with my life!”
“Oh and you really moved on didn’t you.” She took a step closer. They were only a couple of feet apart. “You came back and got a fancy new job and a whole new life and to hell with anyone who gave a damn about you in the past, right?”
“That’s not true! I tried….”
“You know, you actually had me fooled, Alex.” Olivia laughed bitterly. “I thought you were more than just another rich debutante using the system as a stepping stone. But I guess I’m the fool because you actually told us what your motives were from the beginning, didn’t you? You never lied about that. You just lied about everything else.”
Alex stepped back as if someone had punched her. Olivia’s insinuation physically hurt. “You really do think that little of me, don’t you?”
“Oh, don’t go playing the wounded victim! Everything I just said is the truth and you know it! You came back and settled into your cozy knew job and life. Hell, you even had the rich fiancé to boot! But I guess he didn’t fit into your plans either. Poor guy probably didn’t even know what hit him. You really don’t have a problem throwing people aside like trash, do you?”
Alex could barely see from the tears in her eyes. She could handle just about any insult thrown at her, but not from Olivia… never Olivia. “Go to hell, Olivia.”
“Too late. I’ve been there and back already. You’ll have to excuse me, but I want off this ride honey.”
“Get out.” The words came out as a near growl.
“With pleasure.”
The sound of the door slamming echoed throughout the halls. Olivia on one side angry and hurt; Alex on the other devastated and disillusioned, with both in tears.
Chapter 9
The remainder of the weekend was a blur and Olivia found herself back at her desk bright and early Monday morning. It had been a challenge getting out of bed though. She’d spent what was left of Saturday night and a good part of Sunday sulking around her apartment. By the way she was feeling, she was sure that she’d had one beer too many last night. She just couldn’t get the argument with Alex out of her mind. She hadn’t meant to say all those things. Truthfully, she didn’t mean any of it. It was like her tongue had a mind of its own. The words just seemed to fly out. But now they were out; and there was no taking them back.
“Hey Liv. How was your hot date Saturday night?”
Olivia looked up from her paperwork and saw Fin strolling in. She frowned. “How did you know I had a date?”
“I didn’t.” He smirked as he poured his coffee. He came around and took a seat at his desk promptly propping his feet up while sipping his coffee. “I saw you.”
“You saw me?”
“Yeah, at the Château.”
“You were at the Château Saturday night?”
“Yeah. I was there with my date. Some of the women I date actually like fine dining. You got a problem with that?” Fin said defensively.
“No! I was just…just surprised. You don’t look like a Château kind of guy.”
Fin laughed. “Relax, Liv. I’m just screwing with ya, girl.”
“I didn’t see you.”
“I’m sure you didn’t. Your eyes were pretty occupied by that fine date of yours.” He gave her a sly wink. “How is the lovely Ms.Cabot, by the way?”
“It wasn’t a date!” Olivia quickly explained. “Well, at least I wasn’t on a date. Abby and Serena were. Alex and I were just…. It wasn’t a date.”
Fin raised his brows. “O..kay. Whatever. That’s cool. It’s good to see Cabot feeling better though. She looked fantastic. The last time I saw her, she seemed a little out of sorts.”
Olivia’s expression changed to confusion. “You saw Alex? When?”
Fin shrugged as he got up to refresh his coffee. “I donno… a while ago. Right around the time that she came back, I guess.”
“But you never said anything.”
“Was I supposed to? It wasn’t a big deal. We just bumped into each other at the DA’s office.” He sat back down and faced Olivia. “It was kinda strange though. Most people in her position would have been on cloud nine about being home, but she seemed kinda… I don’t know… lost.”
“Lost?” Olivia’s stomach lurched. Fin’s words just added to her already guilty conscience.
“Yeah. She seemed so happy to see me. She even hugged me, and you know that’s not like Cabot.” He smiled a little. “There were all these important people around wanting to talk to her and she didn’t seem to care. She asked me out to lunch. We went down to Pete’s stand and had a hot dog together. She spent about and hour just asking about you guys and trying to catch up.”
“She asked about… the squad?”
Fin shrugged. “Yeah. Just basic stuff, mostly about you and Elliot.”
Olivia felt nauseous.
Fin had a thoughtful expression on his face. “Must be strange, ya know… to come home and everything and everybody be different.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just glad she’s adjusting. Cabot was always cool with me.”
Olivia swallowed hard. “Yeah.” It’s official. Benson, you’re an asshole.
“I got bagels!” Elliot said loudly making his way in with Munch close behind. Before long, the precinct was in full swing and everybody eased into their morning routines; everybody except Olivia that is. Her mind kept drifting back to the argument she’d had with Alex and her conversation with Fin. The more she tried to reconcile the two, the more guilty she felt.
Could I have been that wrong about her?
“Hey Liv! Earth to Olivia!”
Olivia blinked and saw her partner snapping his fingers in front of her face trying to get her attention. “Huh?”
“I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes. What’s up with you today?”
Olivia ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Are you okay, Liv?”
Olivia shook her head. “No, I don’t think I am.” She glanced at her watch. “Can you cover for me for an hour or so? There’s something I need to do.”
His brows rose in confusion. “Uh… sure. I’ll just tell Cap that you’re checking out a lead on a cold case. No big deal. You sure you don’t want me to come?”
“Yeah.” She grabbed her jacket and keys. “I need to do this alone.”
Chapter 10
Olivia stopped at the front desk and flashed her badge. “Hi. Um….” She glanced between the name plate and the woman. “Charlotte?”
The woman smiled and nodded. “Yes. Can I help you?”
“Yes, you can. I need to speak with Ms. Cabot. It’s important.”
The Charlotte looked at her badge carefully. “She’s in a meeting at the moment, but by the sound of things she should be finishing up soon.”
It didn’t take Olivia long to figure out what she meant. She heard the unmistakable tone of a very pissed Alex Cabot.
“I don’t care what your feelings are about this case! This is the DA’s office. We don’t deal with feelings. We deal with facts.”
“But Ms. Cabot….”
“You have one job and one job only. That is to take this case to trial and get a conviction! If you don’t have enough evidence, you get the detectives to go out and get you more. You are not here to cut deals because you think you can’t win! Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll do my best.”
“Just make sure it’s enough to get a conviction.”
Olivia watched a young red head practically come running out of the conference room in tears. She turned back to the secretary who gave her a sympathetic look.
“She’s got fifteen minutes before her next meeting. You can go in at your own risk. Good luck.”
“Thanks.” Olivia swallowed hard and slowly approached the door. I think I’m going to need it. She didn’t know if she should knock or just walk in. The decision was made for her.
“You’re early, Jim. But that’s nothing new.” Alex had yet to turn around. She sighed tiredly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Come on in and close the door. We might as well get star…” She froze when she turned and saw Olivia closing the door behind her.
For a moment, Olivia thought she saw tenderness in the blue eyes before her, but it almost instantly turned to hurt then rage. “What are you doing here?”
“Alex, I need to talk to you.” Olivia took a step forward only to see Alex take a step back.
“I believe you’ve already said everything you needed to say to me, Detective.”
“No… I was… I was just angry and a little hurt and…”
The blonde’s brows rose with surprise. “You were hurt? You?!”
“Alex, I know I said a lot of things that were out of line. That’s why I’m here. I was wrong and I didn’t mean…”
“Oh yes you did. You meant every single word. Don’t try to take them back now.”
Again Olivia stepped forward only this time Alex moved to the other side of the conference table. “Alex, just let me ex….”
“Alex, I know I’m early but…” Jim Steele’s words trailed off once he realized that they were not alone. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were alone. I’ll just…”
“No, stay Jim. Detective Benson was just leaving.”
“Alex, you need to hear me out.”
Fire flashed behind blue eyes. “What I need is for you to leave…now.”
“Alex…”
“I don’t want to see you… ever again.”
Alex’s words came out precise and cold as ever. They cut right through Olivia. It felt like a sledgehammer had struck her in the chest making it hard to breath. She had come there wanting to explain, but seeing the hurt and anger in the blue eyes she adored so much made her realize that there were no words to make things right. She’d made her bed, now she had to lie in it.
Without another word, Alex sat down at the head of the conference table and prepared for her meeting with Jim. She didn’t even spare Olivia a second glance as she quietly left the room.
“Alex, are you alright? We can do this later if you need a minute.”
Alex ignored Jim’s question. “What’s first on the agenda?” When Jim didn’t answer, Alex sent a chilling glare his way. “You only have fifteen minutes, Mr. Steele. I suggest you get down to business.”
And they did even though Alex was dying inside.
TBC.... Please don't kill me yet! I promise to make it better really soon. :)