(no subject)
Title: Until her heart stops. (Or ‘How to Save a Life’)
Summary: “All those dreams I had of dying - this was never one of them.”
Author’s Notes: ‘How to Save A Life’ the title is based on the song by ‘The Fray’. Alternate Endings are included - Tragic and...Less Tragic.
Cold. White. Numb.
‘Where am I? Am I dead? Am I gone?’
“Don’t worry Olivia - You’ll be fine. I swear you will be. Just hold on dammit.”
‘Elliot - Elliot, where am I?…Elliot? Elliot?’
“Just hold on…”
“Just hold on…”
Everything faded out into darkness. Or was it light? It was nothing - Olivia Benson was fading away into nothingness. Not dark - not light. Just nothing.
And at that point she ceased to know.
-
Between the lights. Between the lines. Between the lives.
Alex focused on the tarmac outside of her window. It whizzed by at a fast pace. The plane was over crowded. It was only with extra money that she had managed to get a window seat. She was on her way to see her parents. Alone. All because her girlfriend couldn’t handle meeting her parents.
“Will you just please come? Please?” Alex was pleading - she didn’t care. She wasn’t sure if she could handle her mother alone. Not after she found out about Olivia.
“Alex, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I - I just can’t handle this yet. Please - Please just give me time.”
“Dammit Olivia! I love you! It shouldn’t matter what my mother thinks!”
Olivia turned. Her eyes were a storm cloud. Alex took a subconscious step back.
“It does matter! God Alex - my own mother is dead. When I meet yours, I just want to be able to impress them.”
“You don’t need to impress them Olivia-” Alex implored, “You just need to be yourself.”
“Well obviously,” Olivia almost snarled - the fear in her eyes betraying any real venom her in voice, “I don’t think myself is good enough.”
And with that, Olivia Benson stormed from their apartment. Alex waited until the door had slammed before sliding to the ground, eyes to palms, crying.
Alex adjusted her glasses to inconspicuously wipe away the tears. She hadn’t seen Olivia since last night when she stormed out.
It had rained all night. Now, as Alex looked out of the window, the sky was a pasty grey. The calm before the storm.
With a suddenly lurch, the plane slowed down. People jumped and started, surprised, as the plane squealed to a stop. A speaker on the intercom was pleading people to stay calm while someone came aboard. The plane hatch opened. Walking from the blinding sunlight like two angels on the path from heaven, John Munch and Elliot Stabler walked into the plane.
Alex’s heart contracted, a fist squeezing it tightly, her lungs frozen mid-breath.
“Alex. Olivia has been in an accident…”
-
The car tires squealed, totally out of control as Olivia Benson fought back for control. The truck had come around the sharp corner totally out of control. The driver must have been drunk. The semi slammed into her squad car’s side. She had been on a call and had ended up on the bank of the river.
The crash sent her car tumbling into the water, the cold hitting the sun warmed metal making the car hiss, bubbles rising past the windows as the interior filled slowly with biting water. Olivia struggled with the seat belt, the confined space with water rising making it difficult to breathe. The belt was smashed in the door of the car - there was no way she would be able to get it undone. Hands swollen and thick, she sluggishly reached into her holder with agonizing slowness to pull out her handgun.
She had a plan.
-
Alex ran into the hospital, white lights blinding her from either side as she sprinted through the seemingly endless hallway - her blonde hair whipping from the speed behind her. White coats turned to her on all sides, hospital staff looking to see the desperate woman running for her lovers life.
Her speed made people drop what they were holding. A coffee cup fell. Alex made it to the window, looking into the surgery, looking into the chaos, just as the cup hit the ground. Coffee droplets splattered across the floor, like chocolate blood, tainting everything and leaving only bitter memories behind.
And it was then everything in the surgery stopped - and a loud endless beeping filled the room with a menacing silence.
-
The gun was awkward in her hands, constricted by the rising water and suffocating seatbelt. The water had risen almost to her shoulders. She didn’t have much time. Slowly, her legs already numb with cold - she moved the gun to the belt which she had pulled as far away from her body as possible. With a sudden feeling of emptiness, Olivia realized the crushed walls of the car prohibited her from shooting in any direction then ones that would hit her own body. Tears mingling with the water, Olivia could only look out into the underwater darkness outside of the car windows to make her decision.
Aiming the gun to pierce the seatbelt and impact her leg, Olivia Benson took a deep breath.
And then she pulled the trigger.
-
Pain. Hurt. Cold. Numb. Olivia woke to these sensations. Realizing she had been out for at least a minute, the water inside the car, now a bleeding red from the bullet wound her leg - had risen to her neck. The seatbelt came away easily as Olivia raised the gun toward the window, her body bracing itself.
Pain.
The window exploded. The force of the water filling the airspace in the car pulled Olivia from her seat. Her leg impacted the side of the car. Pain filled her senses.
Pulled from the window, jagged glass cutting into her skin, Olivia floated in the water, the surface not visible at all.
She was too numb. Too cold. Too pained to do anything but float. Reaching the point where her lungs automatically screamed for air, Olivia struggled, her mouth opening almost automatically. She tried to breathe. Water rushed into her mouth, into her lungs and she struggled more, but she was drowning and therefore couldn’t do anything but float, legs kicking, arms slowing, as the car was eaten by the darkness in the water depths.
And then she was gone.
-
Air rushed into her lungs. Eyes opened. Coughing. Choking. Crying. Alex Cabot sat up in bed, choking at her dream - sobs constricting her throat as she tried to breathe. She would never forget that night.
She dreams about it more then she would like to admit. But she does admit it. To the one person who’s job is to care for her wellbeing.
“Honey…you okay?” The hand on her shoulder caught her attention as the body rose next to her. Alex could do nothing but cry, tears running down her cheeks and sobs pulling at her throat as she leaned into the offered embrace.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
A hand was making circles on her back as she cried into the shoulder.
The shoulder was warm. Comforting. It was Olivia.
“Was it the same dream?” Olivia asked kindly, kissing the top of Alex’s head. Alex sniffled slightly, wiping away her tears.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.” Olivia whispered. Alex looked up.
“Don’t be.”
Alex blinked away her tears, reaching for the warmth. When the tears cleared, a chill had settled. And Olivia Benson had disappeared.
-
News Weekly: The body of an NYPD officer was pulled from New York’s waterway last night after an accident pushed the squad car into the river. Detective Olivia Benson, a decorated member of the Special Victims Unit, was killed when a truck driver plowed his vehicle into that of the state Detective. The driver, identified as Mickey Arwin, was five times over the legal alcohol limit at the time of the accident and escaped the scene with minor injuries. In a conference, Captain Cragen of SVU, told the media it had been summarized that she used her gun to sever the seatbelt, which had melted into the crushed doorways, in order to escape. While doing so, she had wounded her leg. In that depth of water, the temperature which was below freezing, and the blood loss, medical examiner Melinda Warner stated it would have been impossible for her to make the distance to the surface with the air available. She will be missed for her dedication to victims, and genuine passion for her job.
-
The end.
-
Or is it? Read on for the happy ending you never got to see…
-
Pain. Hurt. Cold. Numb. Olivia woke to these sensations. Realizing she had been out for at least a minute, the water inside the car, now a bleeding red from the bullet wound her leg - had risen to her neck. The seatbelt came away easily as Olivia raised the gun toward the window, her body bracing itself.
Pain.
The window exploded. The force of the water filling the airspace in the car pulled Olivia from her seat. Her leg impacted the side of the car. Pain filled her senses.
Pulled from the window, jagged glass cutting into her skin, Olivia floated in the water, the surface not visible at all.
She was too numb. Too cold. Too pained to do anything but float. Reaching the point where her lungs automatically screamed for air, Olivia struggled, her mouth opening almost automatically. She tried to breathe. Water rushed into her mouth, into her lungs and she struggled more, but she was drowning and therefore couldn’t do anything but float, legs kicking, arms slowing, as the car was eaten by the darkness in the water depths.
She could have sworn she felt an arm on her own, lifting her higher - higher then ever before. Was it a dream? Or a fading reality?
Cold. White. Numb.
‘Where am I? Am I dead? Am I gone?’
“Don’t worry Olivia - You’ll be fine. I swear you will be. Just hold on dammit.”
‘Elliot - Elliot, where am I?…Elliot? Elliot?’
“Just hold on…”
“Just hold on…”
Everything faded out into darkness. Or was it light? It was nothing - Olivia Benson was fading away into nothingness. Not dark - not light. Just nothing.
And at that point she ceased to know.
-
Air rushed into her lungs. Eyes opened. Coughing. Choking. Crying. Alex Cabot sat up in bed, choking at her dream - sobs constricting her throat as she tried to breathe. She would never forget that night.
She dreams about it more then she would like to admit. But she does admit it. To the one person who’s job is to care for her wellbeing.
“Honey…you okay?” The hand on her shoulder caught her attention as the body rose next to her. Alex could do nothing but cry, tears running down her cheeks and sobs pulling at her throat as she leaned into the offered embrace.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
A hand was making circles on her back as she cried into the shoulder.
The shoulder was warm. Comforting. It was Olivia.
“Was it the same dream?” Olivia asked kindly, kissing the top of Alex’s head. Alex sniffled slightly, wiping away her tears.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.” Olivia whispered. Alex looked up.
“Don’t be.”
Alex blinked away her tears, reaching for the warmth. A hand grasped her own.
“Promise me you’ll never leave.” Alex asked, her voice soft and desperate. Olivia kissed her palm.
“I promise with all my heart, I’ll never leave you.”
Alex nodded, satisfied, unable to imagine anywhere she would possibly be at this moment other then in Olivia Benson’s arms.
-
The end.
(Seriously this time.)