Candlelight (s/a)
Title: Candlelight
Author: alex_g4skarth
Pairing: Past Jalex?
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Maybe he was crazy for doing this. Alex made his intentions very clear when he left.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything except for the plot.
Author's Notes: Idk what this is to be honest, but I was actually in the middle of writing the first chapter for my multi-chapter Jalex fic (yay) and this was something I had written about a week ago but never bothered uploading. This is sort of sad I guess? Not really a happy one compared to anything else I've written...
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Jack looked at his watch.
Alex was running late. It wasn't normal for him. He must've been caught up with something. Maybe he was crazy for doing this. Alex made his intentions very clear when he left. They were friends at the very least. They would remain friends, no matter what they had done, no matter what they really wanted. And friends ate dinner. It was perfectly normal.
Jack smiled when Alex walked in; his once brunette hair now had a hint of purple to it. Alex returned the smile and gave him a hug. He looked good. Jack tried not to look but he couldn't help it. He was beautiful. Jack knew what he wanted to say but while Alex sat in front of him, all the words escaped him. He was focused on trying to not to kiss the older boy, not to remember what it felt like when they were together because it wasn't normal.
The boy laughed and the champagne, apparently Jack said something funny, though he wasn't sure what. He stared at Alex as he smiled. Jack clasped his hands together and rested them on the table in front of him, his eyes still on the brunette. What had he been thinking? This was torture. Alex had chosen Lisa. He wore her ring on his finger and Jack had made it very clear from that moment that he wasn't going to be there to watch. But Alex kept calling him. Jack was weak; he couldn't resist him. He didn't want to.
Alex picked up the fork and pressed his lips together in a forced smile. He moved his fork across his plate and looked down, twisting his fork around the pasta but not eating it.
"What are you thinking about?" Jack asked in the deafening silence.
Alex paused and looked up. "I'm glad you're my friend." He put extra emphases on that word. Friend. Jack was beginning to hate the word more fervently than he hated himself.
"Alex…"
"Jack, don't. Are you willing to just walk away?"
"You already walked away," he said. The bitterness flowed out like a geyser. Alex shot him a look. "You walked away from me. You chose her."
"You have to understand…"
Jack’s voice lowered and he leaned in, his hands still clasped together. "You made the decision, Alex. You. It's not right for us to do this-no matter what I want. It never will be."
Alex put down the fork and pursed his lips, about to say something when the waitress came to their table. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked. Alex didn't respond. Jack looked from Alex to the waitress and told her no. He watched as she moved on to the next table.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jack asked.
"Like what? I'm not looking at you in any way," Alex said. He smoothed out the tablecloth.
Jack sat back in the chair, moving his hands to his lap and taking a drink of his draft. "You are. You make that face, with that look when you're mad or when you're upset. I can't fix this."
"Just be with me. That will fix this."
Jack wanted to scream. Wanted to run away as far as he could but his feet wouldn't move because they didn't really want to. "I can't," he said. Alex tapped his foot under the table. Jack heard it beneath him and tensed. "Alex, what do you want me to say?"
"Nothing," Alex shot him a look. "You keep telling yourself whatever you need to. I'll wait because eventually you'll have to stop running from this."
"That's not going to happen," Jack said, leaning forward.
"It is. I know it is. You, if you weren't so stubborn, would know it too," he said. Alex’s voice was steady as he looked at the younger boy. Jack shook his head and squirmed in his chair, his hands resting on the table again.
"Things have changed, Alex. That's not who we are anymore, not who we'll be again." Jack looked at the other man’s hand, the gold and diamond glimmering under the candlelight. That was the one thing that kept him from taking Alex away from all this, back to his house. That was all it took. He had to keep looking at it.
Alex’s voice was soft. "Things can change."
Jack shook his head. "Alex, that won't be our life. It can't be," he looked at the hand again. He couldn't not look at it. "I won't be with you while you are with her."
"Maybe I want you," Alex said. They met each other’s gaze, locking their eyes together. "We can still have it. Our future, Jack. We can still have it. We can be together, we can be happy." The waitress walked past their table but didn't stop.
"Things have changed, Alex. Our actions have changed that future; it would never work. And you don't want that or me. Not really," Jack said.
Alex looked away, and bit his lip in a way that Jack knew he only did when he was about to cry. "You have no idea what I want. Even if you think you do."
They stared at each other. Jack grabbed for his hand in the silence and the tears Alex had been fighting escaped down his cheek. He jerked her hand away.
"I have to go. I'll be late…" Alex moved from the chair and put on his coat. Jack’s eyes followed his movements. Alex met his gaze and fought back the words. "Thanks for dinner." He stared at Jack for a moment longer then bolted out the door.
Jack sat there, his hands resting where Alex’s once were-under the candlelight. The waitress took their plates.
Author: alex_g4skarth
Pairing: Past Jalex?
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Maybe he was crazy for doing this. Alex made his intentions very clear when he left.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything except for the plot.
Author's Notes: Idk what this is to be honest, but I was actually in the middle of writing the first chapter for my multi-chapter Jalex fic (yay) and this was something I had written about a week ago but never bothered uploading. This is sort of sad I guess? Not really a happy one compared to anything else I've written...
Tumblr
Jack looked at his watch.
Alex was running late. It wasn't normal for him. He must've been caught up with something. Maybe he was crazy for doing this. Alex made his intentions very clear when he left. They were friends at the very least. They would remain friends, no matter what they had done, no matter what they really wanted. And friends ate dinner. It was perfectly normal.
Jack smiled when Alex walked in; his once brunette hair now had a hint of purple to it. Alex returned the smile and gave him a hug. He looked good. Jack tried not to look but he couldn't help it. He was beautiful. Jack knew what he wanted to say but while Alex sat in front of him, all the words escaped him. He was focused on trying to not to kiss the older boy, not to remember what it felt like when they were together because it wasn't normal.
The boy laughed and the champagne, apparently Jack said something funny, though he wasn't sure what. He stared at Alex as he smiled. Jack clasped his hands together and rested them on the table in front of him, his eyes still on the brunette. What had he been thinking? This was torture. Alex had chosen Lisa. He wore her ring on his finger and Jack had made it very clear from that moment that he wasn't going to be there to watch. But Alex kept calling him. Jack was weak; he couldn't resist him. He didn't want to.
Alex picked up the fork and pressed his lips together in a forced smile. He moved his fork across his plate and looked down, twisting his fork around the pasta but not eating it.
"What are you thinking about?" Jack asked in the deafening silence.
Alex paused and looked up. "I'm glad you're my friend." He put extra emphases on that word. Friend. Jack was beginning to hate the word more fervently than he hated himself.
"Alex…"
"Jack, don't. Are you willing to just walk away?"
"You already walked away," he said. The bitterness flowed out like a geyser. Alex shot him a look. "You walked away from me. You chose her."
"You have to understand…"
Jack’s voice lowered and he leaned in, his hands still clasped together. "You made the decision, Alex. You. It's not right for us to do this-no matter what I want. It never will be."
Alex put down the fork and pursed his lips, about to say something when the waitress came to their table. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked. Alex didn't respond. Jack looked from Alex to the waitress and told her no. He watched as she moved on to the next table.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jack asked.
"Like what? I'm not looking at you in any way," Alex said. He smoothed out the tablecloth.
Jack sat back in the chair, moving his hands to his lap and taking a drink of his draft. "You are. You make that face, with that look when you're mad or when you're upset. I can't fix this."
"Just be with me. That will fix this."
Jack wanted to scream. Wanted to run away as far as he could but his feet wouldn't move because they didn't really want to. "I can't," he said. Alex tapped his foot under the table. Jack heard it beneath him and tensed. "Alex, what do you want me to say?"
"Nothing," Alex shot him a look. "You keep telling yourself whatever you need to. I'll wait because eventually you'll have to stop running from this."
"That's not going to happen," Jack said, leaning forward.
"It is. I know it is. You, if you weren't so stubborn, would know it too," he said. Alex’s voice was steady as he looked at the younger boy. Jack shook his head and squirmed in his chair, his hands resting on the table again.
"Things have changed, Alex. That's not who we are anymore, not who we'll be again." Jack looked at the other man’s hand, the gold and diamond glimmering under the candlelight. That was the one thing that kept him from taking Alex away from all this, back to his house. That was all it took. He had to keep looking at it.
Alex’s voice was soft. "Things can change."
Jack shook his head. "Alex, that won't be our life. It can't be," he looked at the hand again. He couldn't not look at it. "I won't be with you while you are with her."
"Maybe I want you," Alex said. They met each other’s gaze, locking their eyes together. "We can still have it. Our future, Jack. We can still have it. We can be together, we can be happy." The waitress walked past their table but didn't stop.
"Things have changed, Alex. Our actions have changed that future; it would never work. And you don't want that or me. Not really," Jack said.
Alex looked away, and bit his lip in a way that Jack knew he only did when he was about to cry. "You have no idea what I want. Even if you think you do."
They stared at each other. Jack grabbed for his hand in the silence and the tears Alex had been fighting escaped down his cheek. He jerked her hand away.
"I have to go. I'll be late…" Alex moved from the chair and put on his coat. Jack’s eyes followed his movements. Alex met his gaze and fought back the words. "Thanks for dinner." He stared at Jack for a moment longer then bolted out the door.
Jack sat there, his hands resting where Alex’s once were-under the candlelight. The waitress took their plates.