Starting to write again
So, where to begin...
I have been living in Arcata California for the past 6 months;
. It's so funny, reading the last entries to this journal and seeing how I have de-evolved. Is that a word?
I feel his misery. My very presence feeds it, begs for the deepest sadness to manifest, as the frustration emanates, like the hiss of a a television that jabs into your eardrums, growing in your subconscious. you barely even recognize it. it haunts you, it calls for the lies to be spoken, the emotions to be buried and the physical lust to transform the truth into untruth. do you really truly feel this is working for you? if you are willing to stay in this for so long, i cannot imagine how fake your other relationships must have been. cause I have not felt you connected to my heart in any way that brings pure loving truth to my soul. honestly, its not you. I have never felt that with anyone I've been in a relationship with. these words are harsh. perhaps i should get drunk so i can tell you exactly how i feel.... like you have so many times. but i just get lusty and feminine when drinking..... teheheh. so what to do? what brings the devil out of me? Have I ever just vomited someones weaknesses and vulnerabilities all over their face, and then spit in it?
I have been living in Arcata California for the past 6 months;
. It's so funny, reading the last entries to this journal and seeing how I have de-evolved. Is that a word?
I feel his misery. My very presence feeds it, begs for the deepest sadness to manifest, as the frustration emanates, like the hiss of a a television that jabs into your eardrums, growing in your subconscious. you barely even recognize it. it haunts you, it calls for the lies to be spoken, the emotions to be buried and the physical lust to transform the truth into untruth. do you really truly feel this is working for you? if you are willing to stay in this for so long, i cannot imagine how fake your other relationships must have been. cause I have not felt you connected to my heart in any way that brings pure loving truth to my soul. honestly, its not you. I have never felt that with anyone I've been in a relationship with. these words are harsh. perhaps i should get drunk so i can tell you exactly how i feel.... like you have so many times. but i just get lusty and feminine when drinking..... teheheh. so what to do? what brings the devil out of me? Have I ever just vomited someones weaknesses and vulnerabilities all over their face, and then spit in it?