Sensible Heart_Part 5
Title: Sensible Heart
Chapter: 5/5
Pairing: Tora x Shou, implied Tora x Saga
Rating: R to NC-17, for this one, NC-17
Genre: AU sorta, angst
Warnings: male x male, gore, sorta AU, foul language, sex, angst, character death.
Summary: What happens after all that you've ever known is gone? You try to move on, with every fibre of your being.
Comments: And here is the final chapter…wheee!!!! Done at last, hope you guys enjoy this last bit...
***
The walk back to the log cabin felt like an eternity.
It did take longer than usual, because the two of them had to make their way through the thick snow, nearly knee deep in spots. Lucky for them, it had stopped snowing, early daylight warm and bright, and they were both very tall. And very eager to get home and finally get the whole emotional mess dealt with.
They both sighed in relief when the little cabin was finally in sight, their steps alive with renewed energy. But Tora paused at the entrance when they finally reached the steps.
"I forgot to split wood yesterday. I'm gonna do that now, get my thoughts in order…"
Shou just nodded, handing him the axe that lay beside the doorframe.
He entered the cabin and shut the door behind him, removing his winter gear, wet shirt and socks, finding the cabin still warm and cozy, bathed in the morning light coming in from all the windows. It threw warm shadows across the hardwood floor, and he walked in, letting his bare toes blissfully absorb the warmth. He made his way over to the bedroom first, putting down a few logs on the embers, fanning the weak flames until there a was a bright, crackling blaze in the fireplace. He proceeded to do the same thing to the main room fireplace, heating some water to brew himself a cup of tea.
He'd just finished his cup when Tora came back in, soaked to the bone, long hair plastered to his face. He removed his coat and stepped out of his boots, water pooling on the hardwood floor. But he stayed there, looking at Shou, eyes so full of confused emotions that Shou went over to him, reaching for him. Tora started to say something, but Shou hushed him with his fingertips, plastering his warm, bare chest to Tora's damp, clothed one.
"Its okay…I…I know you didn't mean what you said…"
Tora pulled Shou's fingers off his lips gently.
"No but…" he started, only to be quieted by Shou's mouth on his own, so gentle and full of eager tenderness.
"Hush…hush…I don't need your apologies…what I need is for you to take me to your bed, and make love to me…" he breathed, softly pressing his mouth to Tora's again, hands sliding between them to undo Tora's shirt, Tora's hands sliding up his bare arms to cup his face as he deepened the kiss.
He worked the damp shirt off the taller man's body, caressing all that beautiful skin with slow, loving strokes, Tora hands pressing their bodies together as he enfolded him in the warmth of his arms. They parted from the kiss, their eyes meeting as Shou reached up to lovingly caress Tora's face, brushing the angle of his cheekbone with his thumb.
"I need to feel you…deep inside me…" he murmured, backing off towards the bedroom, just to be swept off his feet by the taller man as he lifted Shou against him, the slender man wrapping his thighs around his waist.
"Oh gods…I want you…" Tora breathed, carrying him past the fabric partition of the bedroom.
He reluctantly put him down as they resumed kissing, and undressing, until both were as completely bare as can be, hands caressing and discovering every inch of each other's skin, stumbling their way to the unmade bed. Tora lay back against the pillows, cold feet slipping underneath the sheets and blankets as Shou straddled him, leaning down to devour his mouth, eager. He didn't want anything complex, he just wanted him. Him and his amber eyes, his pale skin, his full mouth, those hands. He wanted those hands to touch him, lay claim to the uncharted landscape of his body, make it his own, until it was as familiar as the lay out of the house, the creases and seams of his favourite shirt, the taste of green tea.
Those hands slipped down the length of his spine, pausing in the small of his back as that lush, sinful mouth responded to his, so warm and soft, and perfect. Sliding down from his mouth to his chin, the angle of his jaw, down his throat, making him shudder with want. He sat up on top of him, feeling Tora's erect cock brush against his own, making him bite at his lower lip when he let his eyes wander down that muscular body laid out underneath his. So beautiful. He wanted him, now.
"Oh…Tora…" he sighed at the sight of the tall man shoving two fingers in his own mouth, coating them with saliva, before sitting up to press his chest tight against Shou's own.
He pressed that beautiful mouth to the hollow of Shou's throat, his hand slipping down his lower back, until he found that tight entrance with his wet digits, pressing against it with his middle finger, Shou's hands sliding up to tangle in his long hair. He pushed the tip of his finger inside, past tight muscle, moaning against Shou's throat at the heat and the tightness he found there. Slowly he pushed the rest of his finger in, making the slender man straddling him arch and moan, right against him, sweat blossoming on that beautiful skin. He could taste the salty-sweetness on his tongue as his mouth traced the smooth curve of his neck, of his shoulder, biting down softy as he pushed another finger inside him, fingers parting, scissoring. Shou's head fell back as he was stretched, slowly, gently, too gently.
"Enough…enough…I want your cock now…"
"But…"
"Hush…hush and take me…"
Shou's mouth tightened, teeth clenched, when Tora pushed inside him, with a slow, sleek upwards thrust, fingers digging in the firm curve of Shou's rear. It was so tight, and burning hot, and so good that he was nearly vibrating with tension as he held back, letting Shou's tight opening accommodate his length. Shou took a deep breath through his mouth, hands clenched on Tora's smooth back, slowly lowering himself, until he was fully impaled, as deep as it would go. He pressed his mouth to Tora's shoulder, as the tall man's hands splayed on his lower back, their chests heaving. Shou teeth grazed the curve of Tora's neck as he sway his hips, almost teasingly, making Tora moan, fingers clenched on his tight rear.
"Move…please…" Tora begged in a whisper, crying out with pleasure when his lover's hips shifted above him, up and down, swallowing his erect cock in blissful heat.
Shou pushed down on Tora's shoulders, making the tall man lay back on the pillows as he started to grind down onto him, lifting and lowering himself slowly, hands caressing and teasing those dusky pink nipples, making the raven haired hiss and arch underneath him.
He was so gorgeous, long hair like streaks of ink of the white pillows, the sunlight throwing flecks of green gold in his eyes, skin tinted with a lovely pale pink flush. So gorgeous, and his now. All his.
He shifted his hips again, quickening the pace, Tora's own hips bucking up to meet his downward strokes, their bodies quickly finding the perfect rhythm. The one that had them both moaning and sighing and clawing at each other, Shou's hips angling back to help Tora find that sweet spot deep inside him. Tora's hands roamed his sweat slick body, fingers leaving streaks of wet heat in their wake, marking him like a brand. Up and down his ribs and sides, defining his slender waist, circling his tight nipples, cupping those narrow hips, painting smooth strokes on the length of his leaking cock. He tasted every caress with delight, Tora's hands claiming him, discovering him, making all of that slender body his to possess. His cock twitched in Tora's hand when they found that delicious spot inside him, Shou's head falling back as the entire length of his spine tensed in a graceful arc.
"Oh yes…there…there Tora, again…" Shou moaned, his low voice velvety and breathless, so enticing.
Tora's hips bucked, his own back arching up when Shou's flesh tightened and trembled around his, every time their combined thrusts had his cock pushing against that tender spot, making him nearly delirious with pleasure. Shou quickened his thrusts again, riding Tora hard as the tall man's hand pumped his cock with one hand, the other clenching on his hip, fingers digging hard enough to bruise. Shou hissed when Tora sat up again, never letting go of his cock, intensifying the pressure on his sweet spot until it was close to unbearable. He forced his eyes to open, tilting his head down to looks at his lover, whose green gold eyes mesmerized him completely, before Tora's free hand tilted his face down to his, claiming Shou's mouth in a searing kiss. The heat built up between their bodies, blazing warmth in Tora's lower belly, a familiar tingle in Shou's lower back. They parted from the hungry kiss, eager for breath, but Tora kept his face tilted down with his hand cupping his jaw, pupils reduced to black pinpricks in his golden, fever-bright eyes.
"Now…" Tora breathed, "together…now."
Shou didn't reply. He didn't have to, choosing to press his mouth to Tora's own instead, drowning them both in a passionate kiss, both hands tangling in his long raven hair as pleasure blossomed between them. Tora was engulfed with heat, radiating from the pit of his stomach throughout his body, his orgasm consuming him completely. Shou's flesh pulsed and contracted around him, making the raven haired moan incoherently as he spilled his burning hot seed deep inside his lover, who had given into his own blissful completion, one last stroke of Tora's skilled fingers having undone him completely.
They stilled, bodies tingling and shuddering with the aftershocks, until Tora lay back against the pillows, pulling out in a warm gush, dragging the exhausted Shou down on top of him. They lay there, Shou's head pillowed on Tora's sweat slick chest, wide eyes closing of their own volition, falling into sated slumber. They didn't need words. Not yet.
All they needed was sleep, blissful exhaustion claiming them both, enfolding them in velvety black unconsciousness.
***
Tora woke up, a little disoriented, a warm, smooth back pressed to his chest, wavy dark hair ticking his nose and lips. He closed his eyes again, a wide smile quirking his mouth as his arms tightened around that soft, slender body. A soft chuckle broke the peaceful silence. The shadows had shifted in the room, the mid-afternoon brightness having replaced the early morning glow.
"Aren't you happy you're not the little spoon for a change…" Shou teased, his voice sleep-soft and breathy.
It was Tora's turn to chuckle, his lush mouth pressing a kiss to the nape of Shou's neck, too happy and sated to reply to the taunt. His broad hand roamed Shou's chest and stomach, sliding up to caress his flanks, memorizing every curve of that gorgeous body. He kissed his nape again, and then the curve of his neck, the slope of his shoulder, gently, lovingly tasting that warm skin. Shou sighed with pleasure, splaying his hand on top of Tora's own, stilling it on his chest, right where his heart hammered steady beats through his skin.
"I'm sorry." Tora murmured, lips brushing the soft skin of his shoulder, "For what I said yesterday. It was…it was unfair to you, and I'm sorry."
Shou sighed again, turning in Tora's grasp to face him, arms embracing him tight as he rubbed Tora's nose with his own.
"Its okay. I mean, we both said hurtful things that we didn't really mean. I'm sorry too…"
Tora's hand slipped down his arm, finding Shou's own hand, entwining their fingers. It wasn't a casual gesture, as each of his fingers gripped his own tightly. It felt like a promise.
"I want to do this…enough games, enough hesitation and stepping on eggshells and acting awkwardly towards each other. I just…" Tora paused, wetting his lips, weighing his words, "I just want to be with you. Not you trying to be someone else, just you. With your clumsiness, and random thoughts, and messy side of the office…"
Shou's eyes had filled up with water.
"I want…I want to build this future with you by my side. It wont be easy, and there's plenty of baggage that I still have to make sense of. But I'm gonna do everything that I can to make us happy…"
A single tear escaped the outer corner of his eye, slid down his temple, Tora gently brushing the silvered streak off with a gentle sweep of his thumb.
"Oh gods…gods I love you…" Shou murmured, sighing when Tora's mouth pressed a gentle kiss to the bridge of his nose, and then to that smooth gap between his brows.
"I love you too…took me a while to realize it, and I'm so sorry for that. But I love you, Shou. I love you…" Tora replied, scattering gentle kisses back down Shou's nose, down the smooth upper lip and cupid's bow, until he reached that waiting mouth.
Their kiss was tender, full of love and sweetness, heating up a notch when Shou shifted their positions, dragging Tora on top of him, hips laid between his parted thighs.
"Make love to me…" Shou murmured, "make me yours, once more…"
"Again?" Tora replied, softly, his mouth tracing the angle of Shou's jawbone, making him wrap his arms tight around his neck.
"Again and again, day and night, until the end of time…"
***
Tora finished his guitar just as the last of the snow melted.
It was the fun season again, the russians coming back to the village bringing gifts of vodka, crude jokes and good cheer. And seedlings for Shou, much to his delight. They would often gather outside in Hiroshi's yard, with a crackling bonfire, tasty food and good drinks, and chat and joke for hours, sometimes even until dawn came and made them realize they probably shouldn't have had that extra glass of sake. Hiroshi was as hale as ever, proudly showing off his adorable grand-daughter, much to the amusement of the young parents. Yukiko was perfectly healthy, had a strong dislike of being put down, and had a puzzling, and hilarious liking for Shou, immediately stopping her fussing as soon as the tall dark haired man picked her up. Shizuka shamelessly used that fact to her advantage whenever her daughter got a little impatient.
It had been one of those warm evenings, the breeze sweet with the scent of new leaves, rendered just a little spicy with the smoke of the bonfire. The sun was starting to set, and they were all happily relaxing by the fire, stomachs full of Shizuka's cooking, cool drinks by everyone's feet. Shou was rocking Yukiko to sleep in his arms, the four month old little girl fighting sleep as much as she could, until she gave in to Shou's hummed lullaby, finally closing her little eyes. He chuckled when her small body went slack with sleep, cradling her comfortably against his chest before leaning against his lover, resting his head on Tora's shoulder. The taller man smiled fondly at the sleeping child, his arm circling Shou's shoulders, hand drawing lazy patterns on his upper arm.
"Isn't she gorgeous…" Shou murmured, brushing wispy black hair off the baby's forehead with gentle fingers.
"She's beautiful…" Tora replied, "I'm so happy we got to bring her into the world, together."
Shou hummed in response, the two resting in pleasant silence and contemplation of the sleeping baby, until Shizuka came by holding on to Tora's guitar. It was the first time he was bringing it along, and everyone had marvelled at how pretty it looked. Tora was a perfectionist. It had taken all winter, hours of cutting, carving, measuring, sanding, polishing…and swearing too at times. But after a final layer of clear varnish, it almost looked as good as one of his old guitars. She handed Tora the guitar, and extended her arms for the baby.
"Lets trade. You and Tora can play us some music, and I'll hold the baby."
Shou handed her the child with a puzzled expression.
"What do you mean? There's only one guitar…"
Shizuka sat down between Shou and Takuya on the wide bench, snorting.
"You can sing ne? Tora keeps telling us you have a most gorgeous voice. We must hear it I say."
Her words were echoed all around the fire, the gathered friends urging Shou to show off some of his skills. Shou turned to Tora, who was tuning the guitar with a little smirk, a bit of a blush on his high cheekbones.
"So…you say things about me when my back is turned, ne?" Shou teased, making Tora flush deeper.
"Well…you're my boyfriend…I'm proud of you, and I wished you sang like you used to, once in a while…"
Shou grinned, tilting his lover's face up towards his to put a gentle kiss on that full mouth. A kiss that lasted just a few seconds longer than what was proper for polite company, earning them a few good natured hollers and wolf-whistles. They parted, chuckling.
"Fine, fine I'll sing. But I haven't really sang in years, so my voice is probably a little rusty…you choose the song." he told Tora, hand sliding up his lover's back to rest on his shoulder.
Tora looked thoughtful for a moment, and turned to Shou, with a fond smile on his beautiful mouth. Shou admired his gorgeous lover with a smile of his own. The past four months had been like a dream come true, the both of them so taken by each other, the bond between them evolving into pure love. They couldn't get enough of each other. And it wasn't about to stop.
"I know which one, its very fitting…you ready?"
"Okay…"
Shou's heart stilled in his chest when Tora played the gorgeous, bittersweet notes of Mugen no Hana, his lover's eyes never leaving his own. He was overwhelmed with memories of their glittering past, of fancy costumes, stylists, record deals and sold out concerts. But mostly of five boys, still young but not so innocent, getting together to create the best music they could, only wanting to do what they loved best, without asking for anything in return. His eyes were filled with tears, but his voice was clear and pure when he started singing the lyrics, putting all that emotion that he had put aside for all those years back into each word, losing himself in the sheer beauty that Tora's guitar and his voice created. In the memories of those five boys laughing and crying and creating together, those memories burning as bright as shooting stars in his mind, never to be forgotten. Their eyes never parted, filled with never-ending love, like their were alone in the universe.
The recordings of their music may have disappeared without a trace.
But their music, all that beauty that they created, it lived on in Tora's skilled fingers, in Shou's voice.
It lived on in their hearts.
Never to be forgotten.
***
And done…*tears up* that chapter really made me cry as I wrote it, But it was good, healing tears so I feel great. I got better, good enough to sneak some fluff in that last chapter. I'd written another ending to this, that was much angstier, which is why it took me so long to update because I ended up writing this instead. I don't know, it had to end well…^^ Mugen no Hana is one of my all time favourites, especially the live version from Hello, Dear Numbers, which I think is even more beautiful than the original version. It makes my heart tighten every time I listen to it, and its so fitting with the story I just had to mention it. I'm happy this is over, and quite frankly, I've never churned out a chaptered story this fast before, but I'm super happy with how it turned out. Do you guys want an epilogue? Let me know in the comments below :) Love ya'll xoxo