job anxiety
At the same time last year, I was feeling jittery because of my Internship at the US, MUNFW. It ended up as an awesome, probably the most epic and unforgettable experience in my academic life. This year I'm having a job anxiety.
Having graduated from college with a degree feels awesome. Of course. That hard earned diploma was a product of tears, pain, BLOOD, sweat, frustration, happiness and yes failures. Almost automatically, the next thing you do after you get that diploma is to find a job. Well, maybe take a short vacation (like 2 weeks) for some and then go find that career in the real world. Especially if you come from a middle class family, like me. Honestly, my family spent LOADSSS of cash last year on me. Yeah, just for me. And not talking about few thousand pesos here. but some hundred thousand pesos and I kind of feel bad about it but definitely not sorry for it. I brought home the bacon anyway (wee. :P). Seriously speaking, after college, the path that I should take next should be the real world, strictly speaking, the working world, which is mostly because of last summer's expenditures.
Yes. Work. A job. The real deal. The thing that you do in exchange of cash and some benefits? Yeah, that. *dull face* :|
Honestly, I am not too excited about working. Sure, studying is truly a pain in the butt and in the mind but I do love it. Yeah right. Nerdy-love it. But I am not that nerdy, owkay. I just love learning new things. And right now, what I want to do is to study-- Mandarin and Korean. I believe it'll be easier for me since I pretty much have a good background on both languages and practically speaking, I'd have more edge in the working world. I mean, I've been seeing a lot of jobs that require competency in Mandarin and Korean. GAHHH. And man, you don't know how much that frustrates me! TT_TT I feel like I'd get the job that I truly want after I learn these two languages. I don't exactly know why I feel that way. :/ Gut, maybe? :S
Another reason why I feel so out of place in the employment world is that the jobs that I see are not related in my course. I wanted to practice my course SO BAD. UGHHH. D: Because that'd basically be my key point in taking up my masters (which would be next year). As of now, I've decided to pursue Chinese Studies but maybe, I would change that if I get employed into a humanitarian NGO, then I'd take the other path, Peace studies / conflict resolution or development. It doesn't sound that bad to me.
Also, the jobs that just pop out are all about being a call center representative. And that would be the last thing I'm gonna do. :| Not to look down on those working at call centers but the nature of the job is just not fit for me. Selling stuff? :| The company might lose customers. I am a LOUSY seller. lol
Lastly, at this point, I feel like I wanted to bum more? LOL. I know I've expressed fury to the boredom and lack of productivity over facebook but I'm actually enjoying it now. I wanted to make up to the lack of quality time here in the house. hehehehe. And kind of wanted to look out for my fam since my dad recently got sick and my grandparents are kind of old, too. And the heat is actually making everyone lose energy. TT_TT; It's just TOO HOT. /bangs head on the wall.
So yeah. I feel utterly bad about bumming tho. My mom's expecting me to look for work but I want to rest? Catch up on my intellectual reading (I got a book and tons of unread hand outs to do. Actually that's my prep for grad school!! <3) and catch up with fam and friends. And I totally hope that wouldn't hurt me too much in the near future.
Having graduated from college with a degree feels awesome. Of course. That hard earned diploma was a product of tears, pain, BLOOD, sweat, frustration, happiness and yes failures. Almost automatically, the next thing you do after you get that diploma is to find a job. Well, maybe take a short vacation (like 2 weeks) for some and then go find that career in the real world. Especially if you come from a middle class family, like me. Honestly, my family spent LOADSSS of cash last year on me. Yeah, just for me. And not talking about few thousand pesos here. but some hundred thousand pesos and I kind of feel bad about it but definitely not sorry for it. I brought home the bacon anyway (wee. :P). Seriously speaking, after college, the path that I should take next should be the real world, strictly speaking, the working world, which is mostly because of last summer's expenditures.
Yes. Work. A job. The real deal. The thing that you do in exchange of cash and some benefits? Yeah, that. *dull face* :|
Honestly, I am not too excited about working. Sure, studying is truly a pain in the butt and in the mind but I do love it. Yeah right. Nerdy-love it. But I am not that nerdy, owkay. I just love learning new things. And right now, what I want to do is to study-- Mandarin and Korean. I believe it'll be easier for me since I pretty much have a good background on both languages and practically speaking, I'd have more edge in the working world. I mean, I've been seeing a lot of jobs that require competency in Mandarin and Korean. GAHHH. And man, you don't know how much that frustrates me! TT_TT I feel like I'd get the job that I truly want after I learn these two languages. I don't exactly know why I feel that way. :/ Gut, maybe? :S
Another reason why I feel so out of place in the employment world is that the jobs that I see are not related in my course. I wanted to practice my course SO BAD. UGHHH. D: Because that'd basically be my key point in taking up my masters (which would be next year). As of now, I've decided to pursue Chinese Studies but maybe, I would change that if I get employed into a humanitarian NGO, then I'd take the other path, Peace studies / conflict resolution or development. It doesn't sound that bad to me.
Also, the jobs that just pop out are all about being a call center representative. And that would be the last thing I'm gonna do. :| Not to look down on those working at call centers but the nature of the job is just not fit for me. Selling stuff? :| The company might lose customers. I am a LOUSY seller. lol
Lastly, at this point, I feel like I wanted to bum more? LOL. I know I've expressed fury to the boredom and lack of productivity over facebook but I'm actually enjoying it now. I wanted to make up to the lack of quality time here in the house. hehehehe. And kind of wanted to look out for my fam since my dad recently got sick and my grandparents are kind of old, too. And the heat is actually making everyone lose energy. TT_TT; It's just TOO HOT. /bangs head on the wall.
So yeah. I feel utterly bad about bumming tho. My mom's expecting me to look for work but I want to rest? Catch up on my intellectual reading (I got a book and tons of unread hand outs to do. Actually that's my prep for grad school!! <3) and catch up with fam and friends. And I totally hope that wouldn't hurt me too much in the near future.