The Start of a Fic for a Friend

Jun 20, 2012 02:49



“Thank you for coming over Alicia,” Seungri said as he opened the door. “I really need to go to work today, and Nikki Jo could stand to get out of the house a little bit.”

“It’s no problem,” I said as I walked in. “I’ve been so busy with this little guy here,” I motioned towards my son with my free hand, “that Nikki Jo and I haven’t spent much time together lately. I also know what it’s like to be in the first trimester.”

“It’s good that she has someone to talk about all this with. The pregnancy has been really hard on her since she has very bad morning sickness. I halfway think she should see the doctor about it.”

“Is it that bad?”

“I don’t know. I’m just worried about her, you know? She has always wanted kids, but this was just so sudden! We’ve barely been married seven months, and I thought we would have more time for us before kids.”

“Yunho and I were the same way. We filed the marriage papers at the courthouse, and the next thing you know; I have a bun in the oven. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. You should see the way Yunho lights up every time he looks at our son. It simply warms my heart and puts this large grin on my face. I’m really glad you called him to set up this get together. He says I need to get out of the apartment more too, but it’s a tough thing to do being a new mom and all.”

“Yunho tells me you’re doing great.”

“I don’t know,” I said worriedly.

“Why don’t you go sit down in the living room while I go get Nikki Jo? We can talk a little more before she’s ready. I think she is still in the bedroom.”

“Okay.” I walked into the living room, and as I set the car seat on the coffee table and sat down on the flower print sofa, I looked around the room. There was 55 inch Samsung TV mounted on the wall across from the couch, a huge home theater set up below the TV, some vintage lamps, a love seat and a few other chairs and a big wedding portrait above the sofa.

I thought back to Nikki Jo and Seungri’s wedding. It was a shock to everyone because we all thought that after the international fan episode of Strong Heart that we were both on, there were sparks between her and T.O.P. (I’m pretty sure her bias in Big Bang was T.O.P at the time too.)

Seungri and Nikki Jo getting together didn’t even make sense (I mean, they barely said two words to each other on Strong Heart!), and I wondered if my friend would ever tell me the story of how they got together. Although in my mind, which has seen one too many Kdramas, I imagine that Nikki Jo and T.O.P were dating and somehow just by being around the other Big Bang members, Seungri and his tolling and secretively sensitive ways entered her heart. Maybe she and T.O.P were out one night, and he got drunk. Needing help taking him home, she called the first person she could think of. Seungri then came to her rescue and told her, “Why are you with a guy like him? You know I love him like a brother, and because of that, I know you can do so much better.” And maybe things started there or maybe his crazy trolling about the oddity of her and T.O.P’s relationship turned serious. You know, maybe Seungri started falling for Nikki Jo and that is when his trolling turned serious and the sensitive side that he tried to hide, which she always picked up on, even as a fan on the other side of the world, came through. This is all just speculation on my part. There are so many ways they could have gotten together.

My son broke me out of my thoughts when he started to cry. I unbuckled him from his car seat and picked him up, cradling him in my arms. “Shhh. Don’t cry. Shhhh,” I told him. “Mommy’s right here.” He must have woken up, gotten scared at the new surroundings and just wanted to be held. That or he soiled his diaper or was hungry. I knew he couldn’t be hungry because I fed him before we left, so I checked his diaper. Clean as a whistle. “Shhh. It’s okay; Mommy’s here.” I gently bounced him in one arm while I pulled out his binky from the diaper bag and put it in his mouth.

As he walked into the room and stood by the couch, Seungri said, “See? This is why Yunho said you’re a great umma.”

“Like I said, I’m not so sure about that. I mean, I’m doing okay right now, but I wonder how I’m going to teach him everything he’s going to need to know. I know nothing about raising a child, and I just wish my mom was still alive so I could talk to her about it. I know I have my wonderful stepmom, but it’s not the same, you know? Plus, she is halfway across the world in America anyway.”

“All I know is what I hear from Yunho; he thinks you are the best umma in the world.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I was far from convinced because I think Yunho is a taaaad bit bias.

“Trust me. He tells me he looks at you two together and gets this goofy look on his face because you are so good with your son. You just need believe in yourself more.”

“You don’t know how many times I’ve been told that in my life. ‘You can do more than you think you can.’ I know that but…” I sighed. “It’s hard to believe it.”

“Just take it one day at a time I guess.”

“I think that’s what a lot of parents do, particularly with all the sleep deprivation. So what did Nikki Jo say? Will she be ready to go any time soon?”

“I think she’s just having one of those days. She looks beautiful, but she’s saying her hair looks bad, her face is blotchy and none of her clothes fit. It’s not like she has gained that much weight yet.”

“Yeah probably not. I do know how she feels though. Your body is going through so many changes at once, and it’s easy to feel like every change is big one early on. Would you mind holding Youngjae while I go talk to her?”

Seungri looked scared and started sputtering. “No. No. No.” He put his hands up in a sign of defense, moving them back and forth in front of his chest. “I, I can’t… I, I don’t…”

“Holding a baby is not that hard. You can do it. Easy.” I stood up. “Didn’t you every hold any of Sean-ssi or your company’s president’s kids?”

“Not as babies.”

“Just sit down in the arm chair next to you and hold out your arms.”

“I, I, I… What if he starts crying again?”

“First of all, you’ll figure out what to do, and second of all, I’ll only be in the next room. You can holler if you need me, so just sit down and hold out your arms.”

“But I…” I gave him a stern I-know-you-can-do-this look. Seungri did as told. Talk about not taking his own advice.

“Here.” I bent down and started passing my son over. “Watch his head, and put it in the crook of your arm,” I instructed. Youngjae blinked his big eyes at me and started whimpering. I glanced at Seungri while I stood upright, and he had a look of panic on his face as he stared at Youngjae. “It’s okay,” I said gently. “It’s okay. Really. Rock him back and forth. Maybe pat his butt or back a little bit. You can do this. Hwaiting!” Holding a baby was the least of all the things that that man should be freaking out about when he was going to be a father himself, and although I knew he wouldn’t like it if he ever found out; I couldn’t help but find it adorably cute. Aw, I’m such a girl. It’s cute, okay? Don’t judge me!

“Where is the bedroom?”

“Go down the hall. It’s the second door on the left.”

What state was my friend in? Was it a full freak out, a small freak out or a mild tantrum? I was hoping it was nothing big and that she wasn’t feeling too bad. I think I might have played things up while I was pregnant myself and made it seem like I was feeling worse than I really was. I mean, I’m such a whiner every time I’m sick and gah! I felt horrible during my pregnancy.

I knocked on the bedroom door. “Nikki Jo? Can I come in?”

“Alicia?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“You can come in.”

I walked in and saw my friend sitting on the bed. I sat down next to her and noticed that she had been crying. I put my left arm around her shoulders. “Oh Nikki Jo, what’s wrong?”

“Alicia, I feel horrible, look horrible and none of my clothes fit right anymore.”

“Look at me.” She was still looking at the floor. “Look at me. Now I’ve been pregnant myself, so I’m not going to sugar coat this because I’m sure that’s the last thing you want. Your body’s going through a lot of rapid changes right now in the early stages of pregnancy, and the only people who look great at this point are really, really great at covering up just how awful they feel and look. Unless that is of course they’re one of the uber rare women who have no morning sickness or other symptoms. I personally think they’re lying to themselves. I don’t think there is way to not feel bad. You can do things to lessen how bad you do feel however.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I found that pampering myself, not dwelling on how terrible I feel (not that I was good at doing that part because it’s so easy to merely start whining and complaining) or not stressing myself out helps. I’m no expert about any of this mind you, but I did talk to women in my family and read a lot about pregnancy. I just wanted to know the facts and get advice from people whom I love and trust that went through what I was going through. It really helps.”

“How did you deal with not having your side of the family around? We’re so far from them in South Korea! I really want to hug and talk and cry to my mom and aunts.”

“Well, there’s always Skype, if you can find time with the time differences and all. I know you don’t normally have an easy time sleeping, which sadly won’t get any easier as the pregnancy progresses, so I think it’ll be easy for you to find time.” I smiled and giggled hoping that I was lessening some of Nikki Jo’s tension. “Oh and going out and about helps to take your mind off things too. Can your family come and visit during the pregnancy? I know my parents thought it was best to save for a little more extended trip after their grandson was born.”

“Hm… I don’t know. I should ask them about that.”

“Seeing your family as much as you can is a good thing during this time.”

“Thank you so much Dear.” She gave me a big hug. ‘I am so glad I have someone like you around. You understand what this is like. The Lees, they just… Well they’re having a hard time adjusting because Seungri and I’s relationship and marriage was just so sudden. Part of me thinks I am too to be honest. And you know, Koreans handle pregnancy a little bit different than we do, therefore any advice Sieomeoni (시어머니, mother-in-law) would give would probably be just a little weird.”

“Oh yeah. I definitely know what you mean. Yunho was talking to his mom for me, and some of the stuff he was coming back with I was all like, ‘You want me to eat what for what reason?’ I’m an adventurous eater, but I found that’s not the case when I’m eating for more than just myself. Now do you want me to help you find something to wear?”

“Sure Dear. That would be helpful.”

I got up and opened the closet. Hm… I think a flowy top wouldn’t make Nikki Jo feel bad about the way she looks and her tiny weight gain. A muted flowery sixties looking top caught my eye, and I pulled it out. “Oooh this would look perfect on you! It is longer and has a great wide elastic band at the bottom making it not too clingy where I think you wouldn’t want it to be.”

“That’s actually one of my favorite shirts!”

“Great minds think alike as they say. Do you have white carpri length gauchos made out of a sweat pant type material? That type usually has an elastic waistband.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “I actually think I do somewhere in the bottom of a drawer. That would work really well with that top. Did anyone ever tell you that you have great fashion sense?”

I laughed. “Maybe one or two people. I don’t think I have that great of a fashion sense; I’m simply good at working with the pieces that I’ve had in my wardrobe from like forever ago. Do you have any cute, comfortable flats that would look good with this outfit?”

“I should. My hair though. And my complexion.”

“Pony tails work great when you’re having a bad day or when you haven’t washed your hair in a few day. Gosh knows I do that all the time, like right now.” I laughed. I wonder how many mom tricks I’ll start doing to cover up when I’m not looking my best. Oh you know, tricks for covering up baby puke when you are out and about and whatnot. “So do hats. I think your face looks fine. I mean, it looks a little different than normal, but you are pregnant and that’s to be expected. You can always wear a little cover up if you really feel you need to; I don’t think you need it. Okay. I’ll leave so you can get changed.”

“What would I do without you?”

“Never leave the apartment and be all depressed?” We both laughed, and I knew it was doing Nikki Jo some good. I’m so glad I could be some help to her. I was the first of the girls from the Strong Heart episode to get married and have a baby, and that made it really hard for me.

“Ha ha. Probably.”

“I’ll see you in a few, okay?”

“Sure.”

fic: dreaming of us

Previous post Next post
Up