be careful when you complain--your complaints may be heard
Today I was offered two opportunities:
1. New job! Grade 10, same salary, little-to-no overtime, completely new area/work/skills/etc.
2. Same job, new grade! Senior beneficiary assistant, grade 11, pay raise, plenty of overtime, nothing new--just stay doing what I've been doing.
You thought this choice would be easier, didn't you? I sure did.
head---->desk
Been thinking myself sick about it all afternoon/evening. My decision is due tomorrow.
Before you think I'm entirely wrapped around money (which is, admittedly, a lot of the issue), there are some complicated psychological twists that make me feel guilty to leave the beneficiary department:
a) my coworker out on medical leave until the end of November/leaving the department with only one worker who is not as trained in yet
b) the fact that I have gotten so much praise and recognition at my job--I feel like I'd be letting down other areas besides my own (which is ridiculous--they'd be ecstatic for me, I'm sure--but no less felt)
c) the knowledge of how hard and fast and furiously my boss was working to get this grade level increase approved for me; and against all the odds, she did it just in time to complicate this decision
d) and of course the money: First winter with the new house and who-knows-how-outrageous-heat bill. Gutters. Washer and dryer. Trying to set up a stable career for when Parenthood comes along. New car.
But...set that against:
a) less stress
b) less overtime/more free time to do what I enjoy
c) an "in" to the technology area, even if I'm barely doing IT work
d) a supervisor I felt I hit it off with at the interview...which is saying something, since I don't do interviews. At all.
*sigh* My choice is the lower grade level job. It feels like the less responsible choice, and in a way, I feel like I am making the same mistake I made a year ago when I declined the senior bene position then. But it's not the same choice and I'm not the same person I was a year ago either. I've far less patience than I did then, for one. And a lot more confidence and knowledge, true, too. I can tolerate my boss, but I don't think I'll ever truly like her.
I stand by what I said earlier: I want a job I can leave at work. And while my boss has been far more tolerant to my way of running the department since her return from her medical leave, I still can't fully trust her or respect her.
It would have been so easy a choice had I been offered the new job at a grade 9 or if my boss hadn't been able to cement the new grade level for me at my current job. But life is always setting me up so that I have to make my decisions myself. Which is good. Actually making a serious choice is rarer than it may seem; it's all too easy to just pass it off for one excuse or another. I am trying not to allow any excuses. Whatever I choose and love/regret, it will be because I actively chose that, not because I just let it happen to me.
P.S. Turns out I got obsessed with G.NA after all.
P.P.S. Enjoy some landscaping photos of our weekend project!
A little spruce tree we planted. Hopefully it'll grow fast and hide the apartment complex behind our house.
All the flowers to go in our front yard:
Planted all these bulbs. Can't wait for spring!
The progress of the path we were making:
Super sore yesterday, but today I feel better. Worth the work!
1. New job! Grade 10, same salary, little-to-no overtime, completely new area/work/skills/etc.
2. Same job, new grade! Senior beneficiary assistant, grade 11, pay raise, plenty of overtime, nothing new--just stay doing what I've been doing.
You thought this choice would be easier, didn't you? I sure did.
head---->desk
Been thinking myself sick about it all afternoon/evening. My decision is due tomorrow.
Before you think I'm entirely wrapped around money (which is, admittedly, a lot of the issue), there are some complicated psychological twists that make me feel guilty to leave the beneficiary department:
a) my coworker out on medical leave until the end of November/leaving the department with only one worker who is not as trained in yet
b) the fact that I have gotten so much praise and recognition at my job--I feel like I'd be letting down other areas besides my own (which is ridiculous--they'd be ecstatic for me, I'm sure--but no less felt)
c) the knowledge of how hard and fast and furiously my boss was working to get this grade level increase approved for me; and against all the odds, she did it just in time to complicate this decision
d) and of course the money: First winter with the new house and who-knows-how-outrageous-heat bill. Gutters. Washer and dryer. Trying to set up a stable career for when Parenthood comes along. New car.
But...set that against:
a) less stress
b) less overtime/more free time to do what I enjoy
c) an "in" to the technology area, even if I'm barely doing IT work
d) a supervisor I felt I hit it off with at the interview...which is saying something, since I don't do interviews. At all.
*sigh* My choice is the lower grade level job. It feels like the less responsible choice, and in a way, I feel like I am making the same mistake I made a year ago when I declined the senior bene position then. But it's not the same choice and I'm not the same person I was a year ago either. I've far less patience than I did then, for one. And a lot more confidence and knowledge, true, too. I can tolerate my boss, but I don't think I'll ever truly like her.
I stand by what I said earlier: I want a job I can leave at work. And while my boss has been far more tolerant to my way of running the department since her return from her medical leave, I still can't fully trust her or respect her.
It would have been so easy a choice had I been offered the new job at a grade 9 or if my boss hadn't been able to cement the new grade level for me at my current job. But life is always setting me up so that I have to make my decisions myself. Which is good. Actually making a serious choice is rarer than it may seem; it's all too easy to just pass it off for one excuse or another. I am trying not to allow any excuses. Whatever I choose and love/regret, it will be because I actively chose that, not because I just let it happen to me.
P.S. Turns out I got obsessed with G.NA after all.
P.P.S. Enjoy some landscaping photos of our weekend project!
A little spruce tree we planted. Hopefully it'll grow fast and hide the apartment complex behind our house.
All the flowers to go in our front yard:
Planted all these bulbs. Can't wait for spring!
The progress of the path we were making:
Super sore yesterday, but today I feel better. Worth the work!