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Fucking hate uni up here its a heap of gay. reading week was alright, had loads of fun friday night and caused loads of mischief brighton style, had a good bonfire night despite the shit start, then the weekdays I felt like shooting myself I was so bored, except for getting blazed and watching borat (fucking hilarious). had a massive panic attack
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lol. i love you al beans, i'm sure it will be fine soon.... seriously brighton is dire these days. if you weren't at uni you would be doing some shit 9-5 or some sort of shit work that you hated probably and "partying" with a load of people you don't even know, or if you do know, you mostly don't like or don't speak to. then you would retire to your house with your mum, and get so depressed because she'd be like "hey al beans do the gardening with me" on a sunday when ALL you REALLY wanted to do was watch The Politics Show for that slice of academia you'd been longing for ALL WEEK.*
OF COURSE the course is boring so far, but that's probably because you're not studying the specifics - and not what you really are passionate about yet. but you know what i mean al beans, everyone's got to jump through hoops in college and uni and you can't give up on something I KNOW and YOU KNOW you love just because it is a bit boring to begin with. this crap bit pays off in the long run and you probably know that.
the chinese flatmates well there's not much to say about them it seems but remember it is your space, too, and you can have your friends in your space whenever you want.... i'm sure there's lots of people at uni that like loads of same stuff as you, like all the music you love....? E.G.
talked to lots of bandy types who are all super friendly too, which was nice
and finally about your panic attacks, well i know they can be really fucking distressing but i think it's mind over matter in many cases. sometimes when i go shopping/am in spaces with lots of people i start getting panic attacks but then i just take the necessary steps to calm myself (with me if i have a bottle of water then i just sip that till i calm down, and it's a bit like oh as long as i have my water i'll be ok - sad i know). find something that stops you from panicking, even if it's stupid like oh if i touch these two fingers together i'll be okay. and convince yourself of it, i really think it works.
WORK HARD at university and reap the benefits, be grateful that you have the academic ability to do so and be fucking proud (cos i am of you) that you made that leap of faith in deciding to even go there, because fuck could i go all the way to sheffield.
P.S. it's xmas soon :-) and can you come back for my birthday party which is on Sat December 16 at the Babalar Bar. xxxxxxxxxx
* N.B. may be a slightly exaggerated story.
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