Your Definition Of Love
Day 05 - Your Definition of Love from this meme (from finding-helena).
Love exists where the pain and the happiness of another is inextricably tied to our own; we cannot help but feel joy when they feel joy and cannot help but feel pain when they feel pain. It helps, but may not be essential, if we recognize that power and embrace our vulnerability.
Now, it is not enough that our own mood is impacted by theirs - that is empathy and while it is a foundation of love, it, alone, is insufficient. Nor should their mood subsume our own. That is not being in love, it is being a parasite.
Love is born at the point where, because of empathy and affection and respect (or a million other things) some critical part of our brain stops conceptualizing in terms of "me", or even "you", and frames things as "we".
Because love requires "we", it demands equality, respect for the other person, and self-respect, which, while not required for love to exist, are necessary for it to thrive.
This definition of love is not limited to romantic love: I think the definition applies equally well to the love between parent and child, between friends, or even between strangers. Love can well up in a moment, or simmer for a lifetime.
Whether fleeting or enduring, hard, or easy, love changes us. Without love there wouldn't even be an "us" - just "me" after "me" bouncing into "you" after "you". The cliché is that the opposite of love is "hate". I think the opposite of love is "alone."
Love exists where the pain and the happiness of another is inextricably tied to our own; we cannot help but feel joy when they feel joy and cannot help but feel pain when they feel pain. It helps, but may not be essential, if we recognize that power and embrace our vulnerability.
Now, it is not enough that our own mood is impacted by theirs - that is empathy and while it is a foundation of love, it, alone, is insufficient. Nor should their mood subsume our own. That is not being in love, it is being a parasite.
Love is born at the point where, because of empathy and affection and respect (or a million other things) some critical part of our brain stops conceptualizing in terms of "me", or even "you", and frames things as "we".
Because love requires "we", it demands equality, respect for the other person, and self-respect, which, while not required for love to exist, are necessary for it to thrive.
This definition of love is not limited to romantic love: I think the definition applies equally well to the love between parent and child, between friends, or even between strangers. Love can well up in a moment, or simmer for a lifetime.
Whether fleeting or enduring, hard, or easy, love changes us. Without love there wouldn't even be an "us" - just "me" after "me" bouncing into "you" after "you". The cliché is that the opposite of love is "hate". I think the opposite of love is "alone."