(no subject)
A lot of pieces have been falling into place lately - whether it turns out for awesome or for suck remains to be seen. There's a lot of work still to be done, and a long road stretching out ahead, but I'm more than willing to tackle anything that comes. Worst case possible scenario: my entire life falls to shit, everyone hates me, and then I'll pack up and migrate to the middle of nowhere with my parents and become an angry hermit who eats children. But believe me when I say I really, REALLY don't want this to happen.
The first step to not failing is trying. Especially if you work your ass off.
Part of this is finally shoving myself out of the nest, which is both terrifying and exciting. Independance has been a long time coming - I like being in charge of me. And if I want to have pancakes at two in the morning, I'm going to have pancakes at two in the morning, damnit. This also means, hopefully, seeing more of
xenoman because lately, with travel time between us (sucky West Island stuff) and our hectic work schedules, we've both been taking what little time we can...
Moving is a big headache. Not that I didn't expect that. I'll be happy to be settled. Even if my bedroom has pink furniture.
It's going to be weird, leaving this room behind. I've lived in here for twenty years. It hasn't changed much. Same bed. Same mirror. Same closet door that never quite shut tight. The dolphins everywhere. I painted this room when I was thirteen, sponge-painted the trim, filled it up with little objects of interest to me.
Funny, how a room and some furniture reminds you of things. Some of it is coming with me, yes. Some of it is being left behind.
I had a crib in this room. The walls were painted yellow, then. There was a giant orange teddy bear that sat in a little rocking chair. One of the roofers put his foot through the ceiling above my thankfully-empty crib.
My parents bought a bed for me, and decorated the room with white wallpaper covered in balloons. I played with Barbies on this floor, got stuck in this room because the old glass doorknob came right off and Mom didn't hear me yelling. I did homework and projects at my old desk, which has been gone from here for a long time. I drew. I spent long hours reading in the old, ugly tub chair that I still use as a computer chair.
I tore down the wallpaper and painted it blue. Put up posters. Finally, last year, moved my computer up here, building my own little sanctuary away from the insanity that is often my family.
And on Sunday, I'll close the door on my childhood, my adolescence, and grow up.