[fic] Step by Step; Light and Shade - (18.2/?)
TITLE: Step by Step; Light and Shade
PAIRINGS: Sakuraiba, Matsumiya, Aimiya, Ohmiya, ShoxMaki, and JunxMao
LENGTH: Multi-chaptered
BANDS Arashi (with Horikita Maki and Inoue Mao)
GENRE: Romance, drama... etc.
RATING (by chapter): R/NC17
WARNINGS: AU, language and potentially sexual situations in later chapters.
SUMMARY: "To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak" - Indian Proverb
Sakurai Sho is the Chief Financial Officer for a large corporation, he has a loving girlfriend, a strange (but friendly) co-worker, and a best friend who teaches a ballroom dance class (which Sho has been guilted into attending). At the class, Sho's encounter with another unorthodox dancer -and his partner- will be the spark needed to kindle new relationships and end others.
PREVIOUS: Step01 Step02 Step03 Step04 Step05 Step06 Step07 Step08 Step09 Step10 Step11 Step12 Step13 Step14 Step15 Step16 Step 17
+++
It had been with the first hint of the grey light of dawn creeping into the sky that Sho blinked back into wakefulness. Masaki, still draped heavily across him, was stirring out of sleep. It was surprisingly cozy to lie there, tangled up in each other, just breathing in tandem and watching the world start to wake up on the other side of the windshield. Eventually, it occurred to them that the truck had been running for a few hours now, and Sho would have to hurry off to the nearest gas station if he didn’t want to get stuck running on fumes. Unfortunately, this meant the cuddling in the truck cab had to be cut abruptly short, but Sho left with the promise that they’d make plans to meet up again soon.
Even crawling straight from the rental truck depot to his office on only a few hours of sleep wasn’t enough to shake Sho’s buoyant spirits. He was practically buzzing with positive energy, walking with a cheery spring in his step and a smile for every colleague he passed in the halls.
It wasn’t until his lunch break, when he made his way down to the marketing department, that he realized Ohno had apparently taken the day off. “Is he sick, or something?” Sho asked the girl at the desk.
She shrugged helplessly, frazzled and fielding phone calls at the same time.
Sho sighed and decided to grab lunch from a vending machine. While he walked back to his office he typed out a text message.
FROM: Sakurai Sho
TO: Ohno S.
SUBJECT: (No Subject)
MESSAGE:
I heard you didn’t come into work today. Everything okay?
He couldn’t help worrying a little. The last time he’d seen Ohno he’d been rambling about wanting to do something spontaneous, which in Sho’s mind usually meant reckless and potentially dangerous. It made him shiver to think of the kind of trouble his friend could have gotten himself involved in over the weekend.
To his relief, his phone pinged with a reply not long after.
FROM: Ohno S.
TO: Sakurai Sho
RE: (No Subject)
MESSAGE:
im fine but u free later? need ur help
His relief was short-lived.
FROM: Sakurai Sho
TO: Ohno S.
RE: RE: (No Subject)
MESSAGE:
????!!!! You said you were fine! Help with what???
FROM: Ohno S.
TO: Sakurai Sho
RE: RE: RE: (No Subject)
MESSAGE:
moving. new apartment. i could use a hand :3
Sho gaped at the words on the screen for a long time before he could order his fingers to type out an affirmative ‘okay’. Of all the wild ‘spontaneous’ scenarios he’d imagined, this had not been one of them. Ohno messaged back with his new address. It looked familiar, but he had reports to finish and no time to contemplate why it rang a bell.
+++
“Hello, hello!” Aiba jumped when Nino’s hand came down on his shoulder. “I hear you’re not going to make it to class this week, so I came to you.” He quipped, smirking at the startled reaction he’d provoked. “You look stressed.”
Aiba twisted around in his seat to scowl at him before turning back to the notepad in front of him. “Did you break in?”
Nino snorted, sliding into the chair beside him. “Your mother let me in, actually, since you were too lost in your own thoughts to hear me knocking.” At Aiba’s guilty and worried expression, Nino reached out to give him a gentle shove. “Relax. She was up making a cup of tea, and I made sure she got back to the couch in one piece.” He sighed, watching his friend sag in his seat. “Come on, whatever you’re working on, I think you need a break.”
“I’m just…” He gestured vaguely, looking more tired and miserable by the second. “Trying to plan for the future.”
Nino raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh. And what does that mean? Am I gonna receive a wedding invitation from you sometime soon? You and Sakurai thinking of moving to a quaint little place in the country and starting a family full of misfit dogs and adopted kids from Ethiopia?”
Aiba chucked his pen at him. “If you’re trying to cheer me up, you might want to quit being a snarky bastard.” He complained. “And no to all the above. I mean, I’m trying to realistically think about how soon I can move back to Tokyo.”
“After your mom’s surgery, right? Well, after she’s back on her feet.”
“That’s what I’d hoped, and what I told Sho… but realistically…” He sighed again, scrubbing a hand over his face and sliding the notepad over for Nino to read the numbers scribbled across it. “I’ve got very little in savings right now, no apartment in Tokyo and no job lined up. Realistically, I’m going to need to find a job here and save up enough for a deposit on a new apartment, and then I’ll have to hunt for a job in Tokyo if I want any hope of paying my rent. It could be several months.”
“Well what about your boyfriend, huh? Won’t he let you crash at his place until you get back on your feet?”
“Nino, Sho and I have only been ‘dating’ since Saturday. Even if he offers, I think it’s a little soon to move in together, don’t you?”
“Not when you were already camping at his place nine times out of ten before you made things official.”
“I was working for him then.” Aiba maintained, crossing his arms stubbornly. “I refuse to be a freeloader.”
“It wouldn’t be freeloading!” Nino argued. “You’d be paying back his generosity with… sex…” He trailed off, wincing. “All right, that sounds bad, but you know what I mean.”
Aiba chose not to deign that with a response. “If I was still working there it would be one thing, but I’d be kidding myself if I thought he actually needed me to look after Chubby anymore. I quit for a reason. I don’t want to accept charity from him, you know?”
Nino threw his hands up in frustration. “Okay, you want to be realistic? Like you said, you’ve only been doing this relationship thing for a few days, how do you think that’s going to work out when you announce that you’re staying here for the better part of a year? Long-distance relationships are hard, and you’re only just starting out.”
Aiba groaned, letting his head thunk down onto the tabletop. “I know. Trust me, I know. I’m screwed.” He made a strangled whining sound before forcing himself upright again. “I want to make this relationship work between Sho and I, but I have no idea if it’s possible.”
They sat in somber silence for a long minute before Nino pushed his chair back and got to his feet. “Come on, let’s forget this pity-fest for awhile and actually do what I came here to do.” He grinned, pleased to pull a small smile out of his friend. “Buck up! We’ve got a waltz to practice.”
+++
Of course, Sho realized why the address was familiar when he got there. Mao was already pulled up to the curb and climbing off her motorcycle. “I know.” She said upon seeing Sho’s dumbstruck expression. “He’s nuts.”
“What the- He’s renting an apartment here? At the dance studio?”
“No, he bought the whole damn building.” She shook her head, joining him to stare up at the brick complex in awe. “Said it was a spur of the moment kind of decision.”
“Damn.” Was all Sho could think to say. Then Ohno opened the door and ushered them all in. The door to the ground floor unit was tucked away behind the staircase. In all the times Sho had been to the dance studio above, he’d never spotted the faded green door hidden back there.
It was cold. That was the first thing Sho noticed (after Lady finished greeting them all with her usual enthusiasm and returned to thoroughly sniffing every inch of the place). Ohno had all the windows open, letting in the icy December wind. “To air the place out.” Ohno explained. “It was a little musty in here.”
Secondly, Sho noted the boxes and furniture piled up in the center of the main room. “Your stuff’s already here.” He commented, eyeing the sprawl of Ohno’s belongings.
“Yeah, I was just hoping you’d help me unpack. I hired some movers to shift it all over.”
“Thank god.” Sho sighed, sagging a little with relief. “My arms are still sore from last night.”
“That’s not all that’s sore!” Mao grinned, slapping him on the ass as she strode by.
Ohno laughed and Sho turned very pink. “No, we didn’t- It wasn’t like that!” He spluttered, only fuelling their amusement at his expense.
There were more boxes than furniture, which Ohno explained was because most of his furnishings had come included with his last apartment. At least he had a mattress, but almost everything else was going to need to be shopped for some point soon.
It became quickly apparent that Ohno had no idea what he was doing. At that point, Mao took over as supreme coordinator of the project. “First of all,” She said, shooing both men away from a box of knick-knacks and instead pulling a box labeled ‘cleaning stuff’ out of the pile. “This place is hardly fit for standing in, let alone living. Judging by the thickness of this dust layer,” she swept a finger through the gray film on the hardwood floor, “nobody’s been in here in ages. We’ve got a lot of scrubbing to do before we unpack anything, boys.”
Did they ever. It took hours. The floors had to be swept and mopped twice, and the walls and every other surface needed to be wiped down. Mao insisted on cleansing the small kitchen and bathroom to within an inch of its life, as well as the lives of her underlings. Sho and Ohno flopped on the floor when they were finished, reeking of bleach and Pine-Sol and drenched in sweat despite the cold air still blowing in through the open windows.
Their slave driver was at least in an equally exhausted and disheveled state, though she wasn’t yet ready to throw in the towel. “I hate to say it, but this place needs to be repainted.” She mused, picking at some of the old, chipping paint on the walls. Sho groaned. “It would make sense to do it now, while all your stuff is still safely boxed up and away from the walls.” She continued, ignoring Sho and looking to Ohno imploringly.
He hummed, a long, slow exhale. “Time for a trip to the building supplies store?”
Sho groaned again but still let the two of them haul him up to his feet. Mao had a slightly maniacal gleam in her eyes as she ranted about how excited she was to look at paint swatches, but it wasn’t too difficult for him and Ohno to get swept up in her enthusiasm and carried along for the ride.
+++
It was nearing midnight by the time they finished. Picking out paint colors had led into scraping the old, chipping paint off the walls and putting down a coat of primer in the hallway and the living room. Sho checked his phone on the sidewalk outside and typed a text out to Aiba, asking if he was still up and available for a call, while he dug out his keys and waved goodnight to Mao. A minute later as he was buckling himself into the driver’s seat, his phone rang.
“Hey. Is everything all right?”
“Yeah,” Sho answered, turning on the heat and reclining a little. Aiba sounded tired. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
“No, I was still up. It’s just been a long day. Lots to do, you know.”
Sho nodded into the empty car. “Yeah, I definitely know what you mean. I’ll keep this short then, but I wanted to ask you about Wednesdsay…”
Aiba took a second to respond. “Wednesday?” He echoed hesitantly.
“Yeah, did you want to do anything for Christmas Eve? No pressure, though. I know we’re only just starting out and-“ He could hear himself rambling nervously, but he couldn’t find the kill switch to shut off his mouth. “And, well, you’re a guy so maybe you don’t even want to do anything special. I know girls care about big gestures and romantic dinners and all that stuff but if you don’t we don’t have to do anything big. Heck, we could just have a lazy night in if you wanted, order pizza, watch a movie, lay around with Chubby…” He took a deep breath, desperately needing it after his flustered tirade. “I mean, it’s up to you Masaki. Whatever you want.”
Aiba sighed, which in Sho’s book never meant anything good. “Sho, I wish I could.” He said, but at least his voice sounded fond, like maybe he was smiling on the other end of the line. “Christmas Eve is always a busy night here though, and mom’s not up to managing the restaurant. Dad will be too busy in the kitchen to focus on the front of house too. I’ve got to stay and help.”
“Oh, well that’s understandable. Don’t worry about it.” Sho smiled, making sure to sound as cheery and unbothered as possible. “How about Thursday? Are you coming in for the last dance lesson? We could hang out afterwards.” He hoped he didn’t sound too hopeful.
Aiba hissed out another sigh, sounding distinctly like he was wincing. “Mom’s going in to the hospital for another chemo treatment Thursday, so I’ll be here manning the ship, so to speak. She normally manages everything to do with the restaurant outside of the kitchen, including all the finances and bookkeeping. With the end of the year coming up there’s a lot to go over. I told her I’d handle getting the taxes all filed, but it’s slow going.”
“Right, that’s nice of you. So, you won’t be getting into the city?”
“I’m sorry Sho.” He sounded pained. “Really, I’d love to see you but I can’t spare the time right now. I’ll be working right up to the wire trying to get this all sorted before the New Year.”
“It’s okay!” Sho hurried to reassure him, even if he was a little disappointed. “You’re busy, I understand. Don’t stress about it.”
Aiba made a wry sound. “Easier said than done.” He paused. “I miss you.”
Sho smiled, his heart doing a little leap in his chest. “Call or text whenever you feel like taking a break, okay? I’m always happy to talk to you.”
“Are you coming to the competition next week? I guess that might be the next chance we actually get to talk in person.”
“Of course.” Sho answered immediately. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
+++
It was too quiet. Sho could hardly imagine how suffocatingly still it must have been before Chubby and Aiba had come into his life and his home, because even now he could hardly bear it. Chubby might bark once in excitement when he came through the door, or to get his attention if he needed to go pee, but otherwise he’d quieted as well as calmed down. It was a relief in many ways, but when the dog was doing his own thing and chewing quietly on a toy in the corner, and only the sound of the clock ticking the minutes by broke the silence, Sho was almost wishing for the chaos of Chubby’s early days.
On top of that, he missed Aiba. It seemed corny, but with Aiba around his stuffy, boring, house lit up. Aiba’s colorful belongings ended up scattered among his own monochrome furnishings. Sho missed hearing Aiba’s laugh, delighted and unabashed as he wound the dog up into a wild game of chase through all the rooms. The house just felt hollow without him there. Chubby seemed to be feeling his absence too. He had a habit of looking around Sho whenever he got home from work, as if he expected someone else to be coming through the door behind him. Chubby may have learned to behave himself while he was home alone during the day, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t lonely.
Feeling bad for the little furball, Sho did some research and bought a membership to a dog park.
+++
“You’re there now?”
“Yeah, heading up to his floor.”
“So you’re gonna do what?” Aiba asked, sounding a little amused but mostly concerned. “Punch him? Ask him out?”
“Tear his clothes off and lead the way to his bedroom? I don’t know.” Nino spared a sheepish glance for the wide-eyed old lady riding the elevator with him. “I haven’t made up my mind yet.” He continued into the phone.
Aiba was laughing. “He has no idea what he’s in for.”
“Well, at least now he knows I don’t have a vagina.”
Despite her cane, the old lady got off the elevator at her floor like she was trying for an Olympic record.
“So you’re actually gonna go for it, huh?”
“Well, I’m here.”
“Yeah but you kept telling me you weren’t interested.”
Nino sighed. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open at Ohno’s floor. “Look, all I can tell you is that I’ve never been kissed like that and then not gotten laid. I’ve never been more sexually frustrated in my life.”
“Say what you want Nino, but I’m sure you like him for more than his kissing skills.” No response. “… Nino?”
“Uh, his door’s wide open…” Nino was stopped dead in the hallway.
“Is he being robbed?”
Nino frowned at Aiba’s worried question but crept forward cautiously to peer inside. It was… sterile. Everything was spotlessly clean, the couch and appliances were all there but the bookshelf was empty and there were no cheesy DVDs scattered around the floor by the entertainment center. There wasn’t a single dog-hair tumbleweed lurking in any of the corners. It was like any trace of Ohno had been sucked right out of the apartment. Nino was terrified to see what the study/art room must look like.
“Hello!” A chirpy young woman popped out of the bedroom wearing a pantsuit and a smile that was far too wide for her face. “You’re early! I was just setting up.”
“Early?” Nino repeated, still a bit in shock.
Her smile fell a little, uncertainly. “You’re here for the open house, yes? It starts in half an hour.”
Aiba was demanding through the tinny phone speakers that Nino tell him he was alright and hadn’t been attacked by the burglars. The lady, who appeared to be a realtor, was also looking concerned as she waited for a response. All Nino could do was stand there with his mouth hanging open like an idiot.
+++
Maki contacted him to see if he wanted to meet up that evening to talk. “You said you wanted to stay friends, so I thought we could hang out. If you’re free?”
The only plans he’d made were to take Chubby to the dog park, so he invited her to come along and chat there. She arrived bundled up and carrying two thermoses of hot tea. It was after dark abut the park had floodlights erected to illuminate the fenced area. Sho was sitting on one of the creaky benches set up along the perimeter, watching while Chubby ran loose and wild, playing an enthusiastic game of chase with a collie and a Chihuahua. Sho smiled at her in greeting when she sat down, murmuring a quiet thanks as she handed one of the thermoses over. He was glad to see her, but remembering the state he’d been in the last time they’d met made him feel a little awkward and embarrassed.
Her smile was relaxed, as familiar as it ever was, as she looked out over the rough park terrain. The park had probably been covered in lush grass at some point, but the grass that remained now was trampled from dogs tearing over it and mixed with dirt that the dogs had dug up to play in. It would probably get mucky in the spring, but the cold winter temperatures meant the earth was hard at the moment, and dusted with powdery snow. “That one’s yours, right?” She said, nodding towards Chubby has he rocketed around a tree, kicking up dust and snow in his wake. ”Aiba-san introduced us before.” She explained, giggling a little at Sho’s bewildered expression before she turned back to watch the dogs play. “He sure looks like he’s having fun.”
“Yeah,” Sho smiled a little sadly. “It’d be nice if I could get him out here regularly, but I don’t know if I’ll have time to come more than once a week.” He sighed. “It’s not fair to him, really. He’s sweet, and so well behaved the older he gets, but I know he gets lonely now that he’s home alone so often.”
As if he knew they were talking about him, Chubby finished snuffling around one of the other dogs and came bounding over. His tongue lolled sideways out of his mouth as he waggled happily between the two of them, fishing for a good scratch behind the ears before he took off again to make new four-legged friends.
“This is the happiest I’ve seen him in weeks.” Sho said, watching the dog fondly. “He looks so depressed and resigned when he sees me leaving for work in the morning… It breaks my heart.”
“Sho,” She laughed, looking at him with amusement and matching fondness. “You’ve gone so soft! If I didn’t know better I’d think it was a kid you were fussing over.”
Sho snorted. “It’s bad, I know. Sometimes I forget he’s not a little person.” He busied himself with opening his thermos and inhaling the fragrant steam wafting off the tea.
Maki followed his lead, taking a long sip of hers before she spoke again. “If he’s lonely, have you considered maybe getting him a brother or sister?”
Sho’s eyebrows shot up. “Another dog?”
She shrugged. “He’d have someone to play with during the day, and it’s not like you don’t have the space for your family to grow a little.”
“I can only imagine the chaos two dogs could wreak if they were left alone together…”
Maki laughed, “Somehow, I don’t think you mind chaos as much as you used to let on.” She bumped shoulders with him. “Anyway! It’s something to think about.” She swiftly changed the subject. “Big plans for tomorrow?”
Sho shook his head. “None, actually. He’s got work and family stuff going on.” He shrugged and she nodded thoughtfully. “What about you?” He asked before he could think better of it.
She was thankfully unoffended. “No, I’m not seeing anyone new yet.” At his guilty expression she shook her head and swatted his arm. “Don’t, I’m not pining away over you or anything. There just isn’t anyone else in the picture right now. Feel free to introduce any of the cute single guys you know to me… just the straight ones this time though.” She added with a teasing grin, and laughed when it made his cheeks burn pink. “Seriously though,” She continued more soberly after a moment. “You say you would never have accepted your orientation if it weren’t for Aiba-san?”
Sho took a deep breath, considering. “I don’t know.” He said honestly. “Maybe I would have figured it out on my own eventually, but Aiba was definitely the catalyst.”
She nodded. “I’m glad you met him. Well, I’m glad you met him anyway; because he makes you happy- but whenever you see him next, please thank him for me. If you and I had stuck together, I might have talked you into settling down and getting married before you ever realized what your true feelings were.” She reached out to squeeze his hand, smiling kindly even if there was hint of sadness in her eyes. “It’s better like this, and we can both step away without there being too much damage.”
Sho swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat, but he refused to break down in her arms again- let alone in public. “Maybe you should thank him yourself. I’m sure he’d be relieved that you’re not angry with him. And he probably won’t take my word for it.” His mouth twitched up at the corner, brain wandering off to picture the soft, sleepy expression on Aiba’s face when they’d woken up in the truck together. When he came back to the present, Maki was watching him with a smile as though she knew just how sappy his thoughts had gotten. He cleared his throat. “I know you weren’t in the class long, but a lot of people from the ballroom dance class are going to be performing at a competition next week. Aiba and his partner will be there, and Jun and Mao. Ohno-kun might come too, and I’m sure he’d be pleased to see you again.”
She bit her lip, looking back out at the dogs while she considered the invitation. “Yeah, maybe. That might be fun.” She smiled. “Send me a mail with the details and I’ll think about it.”
“Sure.” Sho smiled into his tea, feeling a weight lifted from his chest. Everything was sliding into place, and even the guilt that had coiled in his gut for so long was finally unraveling.
+++
Nino slouched in the bus stop shelter, staring into the middle distance in disbelief.
“I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.” Aiba was saying through the phone. “Do you have his phone number?”
“He doesn’t answer my calls.” Nino grumbled. “I’m telling you-“
“That’s ridiculous. It can’t be that.”
“I know it’s ridiculous! Jesus, could he possibly have come up with a more drastic way to avoid me?” He exclaimed, throwing his arms up. “If he wasn’t interested he could have just bloody said so!”
Aiba sighed. When he spoke again he sounded like he was trying not to spook a cornered animal. “I’m positive this is just a misunderstanding. Maybe he just misplaced his phone-”
“And do you think he just ‘misplaced’ his apartment too, while he was at it?”
“Nino…”
Nino sighed at his friend’s weary tone and forced himself to calm down. “Fine. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt… But if I find out he quit his job too I’m going to lose my mind.”
“Fair enough.”
+++
to be continued...
A/N: I am annoyed but not surprised that I didn't manage to finish this fic before the holidays. Alas, I hope no one minds that the next chapter is gonna end up covering Xmas(eve) and New Years(eve)? If it's any consolation, the holidays are only really mentioned, not really focused on at all.
ANYWAY! There's DEFINITELY just one more chapter to come. I've got a third of it finished, though, realistically, who the frig knows when it'll be finished. As always, I'm hoping(!!) soon. I've got all the loose ends nailed down at least, so that should help. Hope everyone had a happy new year! Thanks for sticking with me :)
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