Word Dump Three: Gamer Romance
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I wasn't intending to write another Word Dump quite so soon, but I had to save my LiveJournal from Randomwebcamitis. This time, I'll let the comic inspire the essay, instead of the other way around. It isn't such a bad subject, anyway, namely: Gamer Romance (which in itself is a subset of Geek Romance). I certainly don't claim to be any kind of expert on romance or dating (my spotty track record pretty much speaks for itself), but I think I've picked up enough experience to make for an interesting read. This Word Dump is definitely written from the male perspective, but, hopefully, it should be interesting to a wider audience. Also, as a bit of advance warning, I do indulge in a minor amount of stereotyping, but I think you'll find most of my categorization to be fairly accurate (or, at the very least, entertaining).
I'm at times both immensely proud and ashamed to be a gamer. Well, maybe "proud" isn't quite the right word, but I have a lot of fun being a gamer. I mean, criminy, I play games all the time, whether it's a card game, board game, video game, sport, or what have you. I enjoy the company of a significant amount of friends whom I see often, and I never have to sit alone and bored unless I'm going out of my way to do so because I'm feeling antisocial. Obviously, though, this leads to a lot of problems. Because I'm playing all these games, it's hard to find time to squeeze in a significant other. And when I set aside private time, it begins a horrible tug-of-war contest between my friends and my girlfriend. "I wish you'd spend more time with me!" "Man, you don't hang out with us as much as you used to!" Trust me, you hear it from both sides. I've had varying amounts of trouble with my gaming lifestyle, depending on the temperament and disposition of the person whom I was dating at the time. Basically, girls tend to fall into three general categories: Non-Gamer, Gamer, and Gamer-Sympathetic.
The Non-Gamers are the toughest ones to attract and date. All Gamers have that one friend. You know, he's the one who doesn't bathe unless he happens to get caught outside in a rainstorm. Or the guy who has three-hundred Naruto keychains on his backpack and a Leaf Country headband and doesn't stop talking about the series ever. EVER. Yeah, that guy. Your Non-Gamer girlfriend doesn't want to meet him. She wants to introduce you to a whole new circle of friends. Her friends. Clearly, she thinks you have attractive non-Gamer characteristics, but she wants to "save" or "redeem" you. She thinks poorly of your lifestyle choice. It's "weird" or even "wrong." This is pretty common in any Geek and Non-Geek relationship. Whether it's a fascination with Star Wars or building cars in your garage, it takes up too much of your time and you'd give it up if you really sincerely loved her. Uh-huh.
Gamer girlfriends can be both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because, "Yes! I've finally found someone who understands me!" She'll walk in, see you playing EverQuest, kiss you on the cheek, and log in and join your party. She'll let you roll into bed early in the morning and won't lecture you later that day for staying up all night gaming. She knows what THAC0 means! THAC0! It's a curse because dating a Gamer is extremely frustrating. Big plans Friday night? Cancel 'em because that's when she has her Vampire LARP. Saturday? Changeling game. Sunday? Werewolf. Unless you make a concerted effort to coordinate all of your activities, you'll keep on missing each other. Of course, that'll lead to other problems. Who wants to see their significant other all of the time, without any breaks? A lot of Gamers have very poor social skills to begin with and possess notoriously short tempers. Letting two of them date is like adding a hundred pounds of dynamite to your vat of nitroglycerin for a little extra "kick." Also, as the male partner in hot Gamer-on-Gamer action, you will occasionally find yourself boiling over in a seething cauldron of jealousy and envy. I don't care how even-tempered you normally are. Gamer girls are a precious commodity. They receive a lot of attention from desperate and horny male Gamers. Your girlfriend might laugh it off, but you understand the male mind all too well. You know what dirty perverted thoughts they're thinking about your girl! Hey, did he just a cop a feel when they were LARPing? That's your girl! Rawr! HULK SMASH!
Gamer-Sympathetic girls might enjoy Final Fantasy games and Kingdom Hearts, but they're not necessarily Gamers. The simplest distinction is that Gamers are HARDCORE. Your Gamer-Sympathetic girlfriend will sit down and play Soul Calibur II with you because it's fun and she can sometimes get away with button-mashing. Your Gamer girlfriend knows all about Lizardman's "Reptile Rumble" throw exploit and has unlocked all of the extra costumes and weapons. Unlike your Non-Gamer girlfriend, the Gamer-Sympathetic type understands WHY you like games and will even join you every now and then and have a good time. This isn't to say you won't ever clash over your lifestyle, because you will, and couples will invent spurious reasons to argue over things, anyway. But I'm personally of the opinion that a Gamer guy is most likely to find happiness with a Gamer-Sympathetic girlfriend. It's a comfortable middle ground.
Ultimately, relationships are about dealing with problems and reaching compromises. They're about being there for each other. Being a Gamer doesn't affect that part of it. Love? She's a fickle thing, she is!
As a mostly tangential aside, I read a pretty interesting Newsweek article about marriage. It's archived on the web here.
Okay, I lied, there are still some webcam photos yet to be shown. The color values are a little screwed up (the blue is a bit lighter than what's pictured here), but you get the idea.
Smurf hair.
Yup. Still blue! :3
I wasn't intending to write another Word Dump quite so soon, but I had to save my LiveJournal from Randomwebcamitis. This time, I'll let the comic inspire the essay, instead of the other way around. It isn't such a bad subject, anyway, namely: Gamer Romance (which in itself is a subset of Geek Romance). I certainly don't claim to be any kind of expert on romance or dating (my spotty track record pretty much speaks for itself), but I think I've picked up enough experience to make for an interesting read. This Word Dump is definitely written from the male perspective, but, hopefully, it should be interesting to a wider audience. Also, as a bit of advance warning, I do indulge in a minor amount of stereotyping, but I think you'll find most of my categorization to be fairly accurate (or, at the very least, entertaining).
I'm at times both immensely proud and ashamed to be a gamer. Well, maybe "proud" isn't quite the right word, but I have a lot of fun being a gamer. I mean, criminy, I play games all the time, whether it's a card game, board game, video game, sport, or what have you. I enjoy the company of a significant amount of friends whom I see often, and I never have to sit alone and bored unless I'm going out of my way to do so because I'm feeling antisocial. Obviously, though, this leads to a lot of problems. Because I'm playing all these games, it's hard to find time to squeeze in a significant other. And when I set aside private time, it begins a horrible tug-of-war contest between my friends and my girlfriend. "I wish you'd spend more time with me!" "Man, you don't hang out with us as much as you used to!" Trust me, you hear it from both sides. I've had varying amounts of trouble with my gaming lifestyle, depending on the temperament and disposition of the person whom I was dating at the time. Basically, girls tend to fall into three general categories: Non-Gamer, Gamer, and Gamer-Sympathetic.
The Non-Gamers are the toughest ones to attract and date. All Gamers have that one friend. You know, he's the one who doesn't bathe unless he happens to get caught outside in a rainstorm. Or the guy who has three-hundred Naruto keychains on his backpack and a Leaf Country headband and doesn't stop talking about the series ever. EVER. Yeah, that guy. Your Non-Gamer girlfriend doesn't want to meet him. She wants to introduce you to a whole new circle of friends. Her friends. Clearly, she thinks you have attractive non-Gamer characteristics, but she wants to "save" or "redeem" you. She thinks poorly of your lifestyle choice. It's "weird" or even "wrong." This is pretty common in any Geek and Non-Geek relationship. Whether it's a fascination with Star Wars or building cars in your garage, it takes up too much of your time and you'd give it up if you really sincerely loved her. Uh-huh.
Gamer girlfriends can be both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because, "Yes! I've finally found someone who understands me!" She'll walk in, see you playing EverQuest, kiss you on the cheek, and log in and join your party. She'll let you roll into bed early in the morning and won't lecture you later that day for staying up all night gaming. She knows what THAC0 means! THAC0! It's a curse because dating a Gamer is extremely frustrating. Big plans Friday night? Cancel 'em because that's when she has her Vampire LARP. Saturday? Changeling game. Sunday? Werewolf. Unless you make a concerted effort to coordinate all of your activities, you'll keep on missing each other. Of course, that'll lead to other problems. Who wants to see their significant other all of the time, without any breaks? A lot of Gamers have very poor social skills to begin with and possess notoriously short tempers. Letting two of them date is like adding a hundred pounds of dynamite to your vat of nitroglycerin for a little extra "kick." Also, as the male partner in hot Gamer-on-Gamer action, you will occasionally find yourself boiling over in a seething cauldron of jealousy and envy. I don't care how even-tempered you normally are. Gamer girls are a precious commodity. They receive a lot of attention from desperate and horny male Gamers. Your girlfriend might laugh it off, but you understand the male mind all too well. You know what dirty perverted thoughts they're thinking about your girl! Hey, did he just a cop a feel when they were LARPing? That's your girl! Rawr! HULK SMASH!
Gamer-Sympathetic girls might enjoy Final Fantasy games and Kingdom Hearts, but they're not necessarily Gamers. The simplest distinction is that Gamers are HARDCORE. Your Gamer-Sympathetic girlfriend will sit down and play Soul Calibur II with you because it's fun and she can sometimes get away with button-mashing. Your Gamer girlfriend knows all about Lizardman's "Reptile Rumble" throw exploit and has unlocked all of the extra costumes and weapons. Unlike your Non-Gamer girlfriend, the Gamer-Sympathetic type understands WHY you like games and will even join you every now and then and have a good time. This isn't to say you won't ever clash over your lifestyle, because you will, and couples will invent spurious reasons to argue over things, anyway. But I'm personally of the opinion that a Gamer guy is most likely to find happiness with a Gamer-Sympathetic girlfriend. It's a comfortable middle ground.
Ultimately, relationships are about dealing with problems and reaching compromises. They're about being there for each other. Being a Gamer doesn't affect that part of it. Love? She's a fickle thing, she is!
As a mostly tangential aside, I read a pretty interesting Newsweek article about marriage. It's archived on the web here.
Okay, I lied, there are still some webcam photos yet to be shown. The color values are a little screwed up (the blue is a bit lighter than what's pictured here), but you get the idea.
Smurf hair.
Yup. Still blue! :3