well, my dear friends...PICTURES!
i was looking @ my yearbook 2day (which i just got in the mail!) & 4 some reason when i saw it, i was so excited. then afterwards, i was ready to cry. it was so sad. T_T idk y...it just...sucked & i was overcome w/ this feeling of despair & worthlessness & like i can never do anything or make any kind of a difference in the world. it was very depressing. idk y, it's not like there was anyone in there that i would miss. -_- well, ok, maybe that's not true, but still!
so i've been spending my time making these little asian avatars on a site that mandi told me about. speaking of mandi & asians, i'd like to make a statement. I AM NOT TRACKING ASIANS! for all you ppl out there who report the whereabouts of asians wherever you are...there's no need! i mean, it's gr8 that u see an asian & immediately associate me w/ them. but really, u don't need to call me or text me or email me & say "asian spotting!" i'm not marking down their location on a little map or putting in latitude & longitude in my little asian gps. i am not taking a census of all the asians that live in az. I AM NOT TRACKING ASIANS! haha^^ i know i'm obsessed, but if yer calling just to tell me you've SEEN an asian, how worthless is that? did u get his name? number? did u tell him about me??? idc that u can c an asian & i can't. that information is useless to me. *sigh* it's just one of those things, i guess...lol
so i called that guy, y'know, the "thorn in my flesh" as i like to call it. (-_^ that might come out wrong...but seeing as only james & mandi will see it, i'm gonna leave it, cuz i kinda like it. and by saying something about the wording, NOW is when i'm going to have issues w/ it. so...if you're reading this, just forget that i said anything. in fact, i'm gonna put it in parantheses, so it'll seem like it was never there. even better if i could figure out how to lj cut. but no one seems to want to tell me...) ANYway, so i call him & he's all, 'i hate u, stop calling me, freak!' so i hang up & cry myself to sleep T_T
ok...that might be a SLIGHT exaggeration. actually, i called & he's all quiet & mysterious. & i'm all, 'u ok?' he's all "ya. but i'm watching a movie." "oh, sorry. i guess i'll call back later." "ye..." & then he mumbles more but i'm too pissed, so i hang up. oh, he tells me i can call him 2day, 2 if i want. so...idk, he's just pissing me off. & THIS is why i never call him or tell him how i really feel. see, he's been calling me & stuff. but I ALWAYS stop w/e i'm doing & listen to him. i was watching a movie once & i went out & talked to him. i stop doing my homework i stop talking to others around me. it doesn't matter wut i'm doing, he comes first. and he's all promising to talk to me for hours and all this & that. so i FINALLY call him, it's the first time i've actually called him. and he's all, no thanks. & the last time i called, he had some friend over who was all 'is she hot?' & he's all "shut up. *no answer*" so...basically, he never has time 4 me. & i always make time for him. and HE'S the reason that my future guy has to like me as much as i like him b/c this whole one sided thing really sux. OH. & the other night when we were talking & his friend was over. his friend gave him "5 mintues" to talk to me. so i was all pissed b/c he's been promising to talk to me 4 awhile. But he kept talking to me & saying how much it sucked & he wished he could talk to me & he made me feel all warm & fuzzy & by the end, i wasn't mad @ him any more & i was happy w/ the 10 minutes I DID get & not the fact that i missed out on the 6 hours he promised. which, once again, is while i'll end up in an abusive relationship. b/c the guy'll be all 'i love you, etc, blah blah' & i'll be all really?! ^o^ w/ little hope bubbles in my eyes. &...ye~ my life will suck.
sry, that's my rant 4 the evening. i keep making the same mistakes w/ guys. BUT in real life, i'm doing pretty well, so that's good. it just really sux b/c so much of "me" wants 2 be w/ someone & be happy, etc, etc *vomit* etc. but...i just don't seem able 2 do it. boys are too scared of me T_T I stil get that scared vibe from boys.
WHY?! I'm serious. T_T why am i scary?!
on a happier note. i need to figure out how to ask that guy out @ the ccc. i'm thinking about slipping my number in w/ the bills i hand him...wut do u think, james & mandi? slip him a 5 & take off??? hm??? haha^^ or maybe....i could actually talk to him...that's so scary tho!
haha^^
ok, now the moment u've all been waiting for!!!! my new avatars!!!!!!!!
^Mandi's avatar of me^
^Regular boring white me w/ no man^
^Asian me w/ my Husband <3^
^Group of TLU Peer Mentors (Backrow: Jack Johnson (Cute & sweet), Dexter (<3), Collin (he's in my gen. psych class, nice, but, eh~), & K.J. (Kerry Jones, cute cute! he has amazing eyes, which u can't see in this pic...& he's really nice. looks cute w/ glasses, too!!!)^ OK, I only did this so u guys would know who i'm talking about when i say dexter or k.j. or something like that...now u have a mental image. haha^^ don't hate me or judge me, k? <3
Sorry, they're blurry, but u'll get the idea. i'm going from an ORIGINAL iPod shuffle. as in, it's a classic now, probably the last remaining WORKING shuffles...to a 60GB iPod w/ videos! lol. it's just ridiculous. when i upgrade, I REALLY upgrade. i guess...now i just need to upgrade from my crap digital camera to a GREAT one!!! ok best friends??? save your money, pool it together for a new camera for kayla!!! anyway, here's my old & new iPods:
(Not technically an asian, but still cool. if it WAS an asian, definitely my default icon. haha^^
^Lee JunKi^
^My all-time FAVORITE ballad crooner "boy band" group. they're AMAZING! oh, sry, white ppl, this is V.O.S, V.O.S, white ppl. haha^^ um...basically they're amazing, not as famous for their looks...but definitely lovin' the voices. u should go look them up. if u can find them. i can't find a fansite 4 them anywhere! T_T Let alone an english one. if u find one, tell me & i'll send u $20!!!!! <3
wow, well, that'll about do it for pix, i think. love & miss...everyone ^-^*
so i've been spending my time making these little asian avatars on a site that mandi told me about. speaking of mandi & asians, i'd like to make a statement. I AM NOT TRACKING ASIANS! for all you ppl out there who report the whereabouts of asians wherever you are...there's no need! i mean, it's gr8 that u see an asian & immediately associate me w/ them. but really, u don't need to call me or text me or email me & say "asian spotting!" i'm not marking down their location on a little map or putting in latitude & longitude in my little asian gps. i am not taking a census of all the asians that live in az. I AM NOT TRACKING ASIANS! haha^^ i know i'm obsessed, but if yer calling just to tell me you've SEEN an asian, how worthless is that? did u get his name? number? did u tell him about me??? idc that u can c an asian & i can't. that information is useless to me. *sigh* it's just one of those things, i guess...lol
so i called that guy, y'know, the "thorn in my flesh" as i like to call it. (-_^ that might come out wrong...but seeing as only james & mandi will see it, i'm gonna leave it, cuz i kinda like it. and by saying something about the wording, NOW is when i'm going to have issues w/ it. so...if you're reading this, just forget that i said anything. in fact, i'm gonna put it in parantheses, so it'll seem like it was never there. even better if i could figure out how to lj cut. but no one seems to want to tell me...) ANYway, so i call him & he's all, 'i hate u, stop calling me, freak!' so i hang up & cry myself to sleep T_T
ok...that might be a SLIGHT exaggeration. actually, i called & he's all quiet & mysterious. & i'm all, 'u ok?' he's all "ya. but i'm watching a movie." "oh, sorry. i guess i'll call back later." "ye..." & then he mumbles more but i'm too pissed, so i hang up. oh, he tells me i can call him 2day, 2 if i want. so...idk, he's just pissing me off. & THIS is why i never call him or tell him how i really feel. see, he's been calling me & stuff. but I ALWAYS stop w/e i'm doing & listen to him. i was watching a movie once & i went out & talked to him. i stop doing my homework i stop talking to others around me. it doesn't matter wut i'm doing, he comes first. and he's all promising to talk to me for hours and all this & that. so i FINALLY call him, it's the first time i've actually called him. and he's all, no thanks. & the last time i called, he had some friend over who was all 'is she hot?' & he's all "shut up. *no answer*" so...basically, he never has time 4 me. & i always make time for him. and HE'S the reason that my future guy has to like me as much as i like him b/c this whole one sided thing really sux. OH. & the other night when we were talking & his friend was over. his friend gave him "5 mintues" to talk to me. so i was all pissed b/c he's been promising to talk to me 4 awhile. But he kept talking to me & saying how much it sucked & he wished he could talk to me & he made me feel all warm & fuzzy & by the end, i wasn't mad @ him any more & i was happy w/ the 10 minutes I DID get & not the fact that i missed out on the 6 hours he promised. which, once again, is while i'll end up in an abusive relationship. b/c the guy'll be all 'i love you, etc, blah blah' & i'll be all really?! ^o^ w/ little hope bubbles in my eyes. &...ye~ my life will suck.
sry, that's my rant 4 the evening. i keep making the same mistakes w/ guys. BUT in real life, i'm doing pretty well, so that's good. it just really sux b/c so much of "me" wants 2 be w/ someone & be happy, etc, etc *vomit* etc. but...i just don't seem able 2 do it. boys are too scared of me T_T I stil get that scared vibe from boys.
WHY?! I'm serious. T_T why am i scary?!
on a happier note. i need to figure out how to ask that guy out @ the ccc. i'm thinking about slipping my number in w/ the bills i hand him...wut do u think, james & mandi? slip him a 5 & take off??? hm??? haha^^ or maybe....i could actually talk to him...that's so scary tho!
haha^^
ok, now the moment u've all been waiting for!!!! my new avatars!!!!!!!!
^Mandi's avatar of me^
^Regular boring white me w/ no man^
^Asian me w/ my Husband <3^
^Group of TLU Peer Mentors (Backrow: Jack Johnson (Cute & sweet), Dexter (<3), Collin (he's in my gen. psych class, nice, but, eh~), & K.J. (Kerry Jones, cute cute! he has amazing eyes, which u can't see in this pic...& he's really nice. looks cute w/ glasses, too!!!)^ OK, I only did this so u guys would know who i'm talking about when i say dexter or k.j. or something like that...now u have a mental image. haha^^ don't hate me or judge me, k? <3
Sorry, they're blurry, but u'll get the idea. i'm going from an ORIGINAL iPod shuffle. as in, it's a classic now, probably the last remaining WORKING shuffles...to a 60GB iPod w/ videos! lol. it's just ridiculous. when i upgrade, I REALLY upgrade. i guess...now i just need to upgrade from my crap digital camera to a GREAT one!!! ok best friends??? save your money, pool it together for a new camera for kayla!!! anyway, here's my old & new iPods:
(Not technically an asian, but still cool. if it WAS an asian, definitely my default icon. haha^^
^Lee JunKi^
^My all-time FAVORITE ballad crooner "boy band" group. they're AMAZING! oh, sry, white ppl, this is V.O.S, V.O.S, white ppl. haha^^ um...basically they're amazing, not as famous for their looks...but definitely lovin' the voices. u should go look them up. if u can find them. i can't find a fansite 4 them anywhere! T_T Let alone an english one. if u find one, tell me & i'll send u $20!!!!! <3
wow, well, that'll about do it for pix, i think. love & miss...everyone ^-^*