Mental Deficiency
Where does the desire to be demeaned, belittled, raped, cut or tied up come from?
Being somewhat sexually sadistic it's difficult for me to understand the 'other side' as it were. I know why I enjoy the things that I do but for some reason whenever I encounter someone who attempts to draw my sadistic side out I get uncomfortable.
I once expressed my distaste for 'water sports' and was properly chided for it, so to be clear what I'm about to express isn't a condemnation but a viewpoint that is seeking expansion. To me the desire to be be urinated upon represents such an abject state of being that I do not comprehend how anyone, in good conscience, could be complicit in it. I'll grant that my sampling size is small but I've yet to meet someone who enjoyed such things that has not endured a horribly traumatizing experience and refused to seek out therapy for it.
Perhaps I'm mistaken in that but I doubt it. Even then, perhaps this is all just the shadows cast by my upbringing and I'm just looking for some line to draw and say that everything on this side is 'good' and all the rest is 'bad'. I haven't quite figured it out yet. What I do know though is that every time I have had some boy that I hardly know ask me to cut or tie or choke or rape them I almost immediately begin to wonder 'What fucked him up? What kind of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder am I dealing with now?'
The 'rougher' side of sex makes sense to me in the context of an established relationship. If I had a definite sense of someone's tolerances and boundaries and could read their responses relatively well I don't think I'd have an issue with exploring the sharper pleasures with them. Yet for some reason having it sprung on me by someone I hardly know (and have no real intention of getting to know) freaks me the fuck out. So can anyone explain this to me in a way that doesn't necessitate PTSD? Cause if so, I'd appreciate the enlightenment.
Being somewhat sexually sadistic it's difficult for me to understand the 'other side' as it were. I know why I enjoy the things that I do but for some reason whenever I encounter someone who attempts to draw my sadistic side out I get uncomfortable.
I once expressed my distaste for 'water sports' and was properly chided for it, so to be clear what I'm about to express isn't a condemnation but a viewpoint that is seeking expansion. To me the desire to be be urinated upon represents such an abject state of being that I do not comprehend how anyone, in good conscience, could be complicit in it. I'll grant that my sampling size is small but I've yet to meet someone who enjoyed such things that has not endured a horribly traumatizing experience and refused to seek out therapy for it.
Perhaps I'm mistaken in that but I doubt it. Even then, perhaps this is all just the shadows cast by my upbringing and I'm just looking for some line to draw and say that everything on this side is 'good' and all the rest is 'bad'. I haven't quite figured it out yet. What I do know though is that every time I have had some boy that I hardly know ask me to cut or tie or choke or rape them I almost immediately begin to wonder 'What fucked him up? What kind of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder am I dealing with now?'
The 'rougher' side of sex makes sense to me in the context of an established relationship. If I had a definite sense of someone's tolerances and boundaries and could read their responses relatively well I don't think I'd have an issue with exploring the sharper pleasures with them. Yet for some reason having it sprung on me by someone I hardly know (and have no real intention of getting to know) freaks me the fuck out. So can anyone explain this to me in a way that doesn't necessitate PTSD? Cause if so, I'd appreciate the enlightenment.