A little story and a little porno
Some of you may know, I - through roundabout ways - got a new TV. This is not your ordinary punk ass tv like most of you own, no, this tv is a behemoth 52 inch, kick the shit out of you, wonderfilled porno watching machine.
To get this TV, besides selling my mom on the streets for a few weeks, involved me to trek to Tacoma to pick it up.
A little geography lesson for you all that consider the term "Washington" to be referring to the capital of the US. But in fact, Washington is an entire state filled with many places that are not Seattle. The distance between me, and Tacoma is 140 miles. Try driving 140 miles from Washington and staying in the same geographic designation huh? Huh, Washington DC? You ain't shit! 140 Miles will get you to Philadelphia. You ain't even a state, so screw you.
Back to the TV, I got to take my work van down to pick up the TV. The drive down was rainy and traffic filled. I had to stop in Seattle to pick up brian053 so that he could help me get the thing loaded. I know most of you can't fathom that, but yes, its that big ("its" can mean of course my schlong, but in this case, "its" is referring to the TV, pervert).
I get to the place to pick it up, 140 miles later. And it dawns on us, this TV is so big, that its not going to fit in the fucking van!!!!
Could not believe what I was seeing here, I mean, this is a cargo van, its not a box van, but its a bit bigger than your little soccer-mom-ruin-marriage-fantasy-in-the-back-with-McDonalds-wrappers-on-the-floor mini van. Has no seats, a cage and a pretty tall clearance. We tried in vein to lift the 800 pound TV into the back, but there was no way anything was budging. Defeated, we left.
The guy I was getting it from was going to leave for the 4th and was going to not be back for a couple days. He pushed back his leaving until 8PM, well, it was 2:30, so I decided I'd borrow a truck from my boss and make a second attempt. So I dropped brian053 off at his place, and headed back home. I debated whether or not to use his pisser, but feeling that my stream would break his little toilet, I decided to wait until a rest stop. I'd rather damage state property, than one of my best friends.
It was when I got to Lynnwood, and traffic came to a standstill that I decided my plan was a bad one. Kidneys overflowing, I dreamed of my stupid hindsight move. This traffic standstill was horrid. It lasted for over an hour, and 20 or so miles (to North Marysville). Images of me pissing all over the place haunted my thoughts as I got more and more pissed angry. Here I was in a hurry, needing to flow worse than ever. I finally got off the freeway and stopped at a 76 Station, where of course the asshole wasn't sympathetic towards MY NEEDS, and didn't let me use the bathroom. Theres a map there in that link, in case anyone wants to know where it is, you know, if you're feeling a little moody next time you're in Everett. I'm not saying to do anything... bad.
Fastforward to getting the truck from my bosses house, 280 miles down, I hit the road again, and head back south. This time I didn't have any help with me, at all. Thankfully the guy was nice enough to help me get the thing loaded, and a stranger stopped and helped. For all the violent shootings that happen in Tacoma, theres at least one nice guy.
We load up the TV, and get it tied down, but due to its massive size (Again with my penis? stop thinking about it right now, I'm not just a piece of meat!) and height I had to go slow back home. Which was reaaaaal nice after all the time spent on the road, as it is. Also made me realize people are a bunch of fucking dickheads in Seattle when you have to go lower than the speed limit. Its not like I was in the left lane either, I was in the far right lane, and there was always room to go around. I don't understand the logic of riding my ass when I am not in your way. Seattle also has way too many exit only lanes.
Okay, end of the story is coming up, so for all of you that skimmed this, you can read this paragraph and know the whole story. 560 Miles and 11 hours total, the TV is now in my living room, and commanding the attention of all who will now enter.
I got it on and going, and took two pictures
And heres one for the ladies
To get this TV, besides selling my mom on the streets for a few weeks, involved me to trek to Tacoma to pick it up.
A little geography lesson for you all that consider the term "Washington" to be referring to the capital of the US. But in fact, Washington is an entire state filled with many places that are not Seattle. The distance between me, and Tacoma is 140 miles. Try driving 140 miles from Washington and staying in the same geographic designation huh? Huh, Washington DC? You ain't shit! 140 Miles will get you to Philadelphia. You ain't even a state, so screw you.
Back to the TV, I got to take my work van down to pick up the TV. The drive down was rainy and traffic filled. I had to stop in Seattle to pick up brian053 so that he could help me get the thing loaded. I know most of you can't fathom that, but yes, its that big ("its" can mean of course my schlong, but in this case, "its" is referring to the TV, pervert).
I get to the place to pick it up, 140 miles later. And it dawns on us, this TV is so big, that its not going to fit in the fucking van!!!!
Could not believe what I was seeing here, I mean, this is a cargo van, its not a box van, but its a bit bigger than your little soccer-mom-ruin-marriage-fantasy-in-the-back-with-McDonalds-wrappers-on-the-floor mini van. Has no seats, a cage and a pretty tall clearance. We tried in vein to lift the 800 pound TV into the back, but there was no way anything was budging. Defeated, we left.
The guy I was getting it from was going to leave for the 4th and was going to not be back for a couple days. He pushed back his leaving until 8PM, well, it was 2:30, so I decided I'd borrow a truck from my boss and make a second attempt. So I dropped brian053 off at his place, and headed back home. I debated whether or not to use his pisser, but feeling that my stream would break his little toilet, I decided to wait until a rest stop. I'd rather damage state property, than one of my best friends.
It was when I got to Lynnwood, and traffic came to a standstill that I decided my plan was a bad one. Kidneys overflowing, I dreamed of my stupid hindsight move. This traffic standstill was horrid. It lasted for over an hour, and 20 or so miles (to North Marysville). Images of me pissing all over the place haunted my thoughts as I got more and more pissed angry. Here I was in a hurry, needing to flow worse than ever. I finally got off the freeway and stopped at a 76 Station, where of course the asshole wasn't sympathetic towards MY NEEDS, and didn't let me use the bathroom. Theres a map there in that link, in case anyone wants to know where it is, you know, if you're feeling a little moody next time you're in Everett. I'm not saying to do anything... bad.
Fastforward to getting the truck from my bosses house, 280 miles down, I hit the road again, and head back south. This time I didn't have any help with me, at all. Thankfully the guy was nice enough to help me get the thing loaded, and a stranger stopped and helped. For all the violent shootings that happen in Tacoma, theres at least one nice guy.
We load up the TV, and get it tied down, but due to its massive size (Again with my penis? stop thinking about it right now, I'm not just a piece of meat!) and height I had to go slow back home. Which was reaaaaal nice after all the time spent on the road, as it is. Also made me realize people are a bunch of fucking dickheads in Seattle when you have to go lower than the speed limit. Its not like I was in the left lane either, I was in the far right lane, and there was always room to go around. I don't understand the logic of riding my ass when I am not in your way. Seattle also has way too many exit only lanes.
Okay, end of the story is coming up, so for all of you that skimmed this, you can read this paragraph and know the whole story. 560 Miles and 11 hours total, the TV is now in my living room, and commanding the attention of all who will now enter.
I got it on and going, and took two pictures
And heres one for the ladies