This road im on.......past road
what up, my peeps. let me fill ya in on whats poppin.
my boy Superman left to some college in Tenn. i think
it is cool, so im not worried about it. im thinking
joining one of the local powerlifting meets just to
see how strong i am. and the semi pro football thing
is going great. im getting ready to play at perk when
the seanson ends. so all of my fans can catch my skills
in their own back yard. i have been pushing myself to
get better all summer, and i think it will pay off in
the end. i haven't wrote any poems lately, but i got
an email from some writing college, so i may check that
out. but a lot of people have asked why can i write about
how i feel, but show no facial emotions nor feel anything.
so i figure that i would answer now so everyone may understand
it.
Picture this, a young light weight little gerald "that is really
my name little gerald" a glowing kid who believed that monsters
lived under his bed. Thats normal, cause i loved horror movies
no matter how much they scaried me. i was very bright person
for my age. just chill, trying to set the scene here. but i never
got in trouble, ever. so we have a bright, good church goer. normal
like any other kid. they said that i had a bright future......they lied.
April 16, 1994
i was really jumpy about my birthday, just like any other kid my age.
it being two days away and everything made it all the better. i remember
my step mom and my step brother getting into an little spat (nothing really big).
she was just looking out for his safety and he made a mistake that he should have
avoided. (drugs) who would have knew that this was the beginning. but she found out
that he was selling drugs and using them. that was the good news. bad news was that he
stole a large sum of money from his boss. and his time was up........
April 17, 1994
one more day till my birthday, which made me off the walls. well, my brother had been
taking stuff to his new house (step mom kicked him out) with a friend. but his former
boss got word that he was moving and sent out his goons.....i remember playing football
as a tight end in my yard with 3 of my friends, normally, i would play QB, but i let my
friend do it and seeing a black car pull up.....the dark tint of the windows.....and what
sounds louder then fireworks.....the stray fire that was almost a headshot on me.....
rolling on the ground and seeing that my friends didn't move.....
and then the blackout.....
April 19, 1994
I awoke with something covering my cheek. everyone was standing around me. my step mom, dad,
sister, my other brother. but the shocker was that my friends' parentials were there crying.
i didn't understand how i got there. the sad part was i asked where was my cake as soon as
i woke up.....my dad looked at me and told me what had happen. my brother messing with drugs,
the money, the black car, the fireworks.....what he didnt want to tell me is that i lost 2
and one was fighting to stay alive. he told me that it was the friend that was the QB, which
should have been me.....7 hours later.....he died.....my brother was DOA.....i lost 3 friends,
a brother, and a part of myself.....
April 18, 2005
11 years after that i got a call from an unknown number. thats not new to me. but the message
on the voice mail, i dont answer unknown numbers, was. it was marked urgent. and it hit me faster
than anything. those words opened a scar that i thought i would never remember. "you shouldn't be alive....
you should have died 11 years ago.....you dont deserve to be here.....and i found out who it was.
my crew was made of 4 me and my friends, but someone down the street wanted to hang with us but he
didnt like me.....til, this day we still dont understand why i didn't want to play QB.....i guess i should be dead, but i try to live like i should.
my boy Superman left to some college in Tenn. i think
it is cool, so im not worried about it. im thinking
joining one of the local powerlifting meets just to
see how strong i am. and the semi pro football thing
is going great. im getting ready to play at perk when
the seanson ends. so all of my fans can catch my skills
in their own back yard. i have been pushing myself to
get better all summer, and i think it will pay off in
the end. i haven't wrote any poems lately, but i got
an email from some writing college, so i may check that
out. but a lot of people have asked why can i write about
how i feel, but show no facial emotions nor feel anything.
so i figure that i would answer now so everyone may understand
it.
Picture this, a young light weight little gerald "that is really
my name little gerald" a glowing kid who believed that monsters
lived under his bed. Thats normal, cause i loved horror movies
no matter how much they scaried me. i was very bright person
for my age. just chill, trying to set the scene here. but i never
got in trouble, ever. so we have a bright, good church goer. normal
like any other kid. they said that i had a bright future......they lied.
April 16, 1994
i was really jumpy about my birthday, just like any other kid my age.
it being two days away and everything made it all the better. i remember
my step mom and my step brother getting into an little spat (nothing really big).
she was just looking out for his safety and he made a mistake that he should have
avoided. (drugs) who would have knew that this was the beginning. but she found out
that he was selling drugs and using them. that was the good news. bad news was that he
stole a large sum of money from his boss. and his time was up........
April 17, 1994
one more day till my birthday, which made me off the walls. well, my brother had been
taking stuff to his new house (step mom kicked him out) with a friend. but his former
boss got word that he was moving and sent out his goons.....i remember playing football
as a tight end in my yard with 3 of my friends, normally, i would play QB, but i let my
friend do it and seeing a black car pull up.....the dark tint of the windows.....and what
sounds louder then fireworks.....the stray fire that was almost a headshot on me.....
rolling on the ground and seeing that my friends didn't move.....
and then the blackout.....
April 19, 1994
I awoke with something covering my cheek. everyone was standing around me. my step mom, dad,
sister, my other brother. but the shocker was that my friends' parentials were there crying.
i didn't understand how i got there. the sad part was i asked where was my cake as soon as
i woke up.....my dad looked at me and told me what had happen. my brother messing with drugs,
the money, the black car, the fireworks.....what he didnt want to tell me is that i lost 2
and one was fighting to stay alive. he told me that it was the friend that was the QB, which
should have been me.....7 hours later.....he died.....my brother was DOA.....i lost 3 friends,
a brother, and a part of myself.....
April 18, 2005
11 years after that i got a call from an unknown number. thats not new to me. but the message
on the voice mail, i dont answer unknown numbers, was. it was marked urgent. and it hit me faster
than anything. those words opened a scar that i thought i would never remember. "you shouldn't be alive....
you should have died 11 years ago.....you dont deserve to be here.....and i found out who it was.
my crew was made of 4 me and my friends, but someone down the street wanted to hang with us but he
didnt like me.....til, this day we still dont understand why i didn't want to play QB.....i guess i should be dead, but i try to live like i should.