Girl Genius Comic Quotes Part Two
More of my favorite Girl Genius Comic quotes! Because there are far too many to fit them all into one entry. XD
Dimo: "Hy vundered vere HYU had got to."
Jenka: "ME? I vos travelink about, deliverink messages. Causink TROUBLE."
Krosp: "What did she give you? Hey! HEY! Curious cat, here!"
Agatha: "So- who ARE you, sir?"
Carson: "That's what I intend to ask YOU."
Wooster: "I don't think..."
Agatha: "But I DO. I think HE knows SOMETHING and WE know NOTHING. I am Agatha Heterodyne. Bill and Lucrezia were my parents."
Carson: "Interesting. WHERE ARE THEY?"
Agatha: "I don't know. I was raised by... well... you'd know them as PUNCH AND JUDY."
Carson: "THAT'S different. Did Punch ever mention a MASTER HELIOTROPE?"
Agatha: "No, because he COULDN'T TALK."
Carson: "Oh, my. Not many people KNOW that."
Agatha: "They probably ALSO don't know that he hiccups after he encounters electricity. I KNOW you're testing me. I CAN keep this up."
Carson: "WELCOME, my lady- if my lady you BE."
Zeetha: "Agatha?"
Agatha: "...I've never HAD coffee. Lilith said a young lady shouldn't drink STIMULANTS."
Zeetha: "Drink your coffee like a warrior."
Agatha: "...Yes, Zeetha."
Krosp: "Cold."
Vanamonde: "Uh-"
Krosp: "I think I LIKE you people. Of course, YOU still think she's a fake. I know BETTER."
Vanamonde: "YES. I DO think she's a fake."
Krosp: "You'll soon LEARN."
Vanamonde: "Oh?"
Krosp: "Yeah. This coffee you gave her. Strong stuff?"
Vanamonde: "It's my PERSONAL BLEND."
Krosp: "AH. I think you're about to find out that Lilith was a smart lady."
Vanamonde: "Um- miss, are you-"
Agatha: "ThisstuffiskindofinterestingbutIdon'tseewhatthebigdealis."
Vanamonde: "Well, my usual coffee engine is broken, so-"
Agatha: "Broken?"
Vanamonde: "We're using the backup machine, and-"
Agatha: "AHA! YESISEE.AsimpledoubleboilerwitharathercleverCONDENSERandaPERCOLATIONSYSTEMandSTEAMERHA!"
Repairman: "HEY!"
Agatha: "DoyouhaveanyINFORMATIONaboutthecoffeeEXTRACTIONprocess?"
Waitress: "Uh- we have a book by the cashier. You- could-"
Agatha: "Thankyou!WhythisisaSIMPLEexerciseinCHEMISTRY!"
Waitress: "borrow-"
Agatha: "Whereissomerawcoffee?NevermindIshallFINDit!"
Waitress: "it."
Agatha: "AHA!Isee!OfCOURSEyouwantittoTASTEasgoodasitSMELLS!"
Rinja: "Now, hold on! You GET OUT OF THAT!"
Agatha: "IneedPARTS!Writethisdown!"
Rinja: "I... I..."
Agatha: "WRITETHISDOWN!"
Rinja: "Um- yes, mistress!"
Vanamonde: "You didn't tell us she was a SPARK!"
Wooster: "She TOLD you she's AGATHA HETERODYNE."
Zeetha: "It should be no SURPRISE that she's a SPARK, TOO."
Krosp: "Not OUR fault you weren't paying attention."
Agatha: "Here'syourBOOKback!IcanTELLyouWROTEiteventhoughyouusedafakeNAME.AlltheSPELLINGCORRECTIONSareinRED."
Vanamonde: "What?"
Agatha: "Andhere'saLISToftheTHINGSIREQUIREplease."
Vanamonde: "Er- of- OF COURSE, my lady. ...WHAT did I just SAY?!"
Carson: "What our family has been saying to sparks for GENERATIONS! It's not like we LASTED long, if we DIDN'T!"
Agatha: "SHOWmeyourSKILL!DISASSEMBLEthoseBOILERS!WhenIREBUILDthemthey'llgofromCOLDtoBOILinEIGHT SECONDS!"
Repairman: "I- EIGHT SECONDS?! You can DO that? ... OKAY MISTRESS! YOU GOT IT!"
Wooster: "What-"
Customer: "She needs MORE BEANS!"
Wooster: "...Weren't you a CUSTOMER?"
Customer: "HELPING!"
Vanamonde: "I suppose you don't care that this was a genuine bugatti coffee engine... imported from Milan at GREAT PERSONAL EXPENSE..."
Agatha: "BIG HAMMER!"
Vanamonde: (sigh) "OF COURSE, my lady."
Carson: "A lot of folks DESPERATELY want a new Heterodyne. ANY new Heterodyne."
Krosp: "But it's been HOW long? I mean, the YOUNGER generation won't-"
Kid: "My family's been grave robbers to the masters fer a hunned years, an' I heard there's a new master, so I dug her up a dead rat cuz that's all I could FIND!"
Krosp: "You're HIRED."
Carson: "She's... she's Heterodyning..."
Vanamonde: "I doubt we'll get her out of here before she's finished 'improving' my coffee engine. And I DON'T just say that because the alternative is LEAVING IT IN PIECES."
Carson: "No, no, that's true..."
Coffee Engine: (CRASH! POW! ZAP! WHREEEE!)
Minions: "HOORAY!"
Agatha: "I MEANT to do that!"
Wooster: "How LONG...?"
Carson: "In my experience, a STRONG HETERODYNE will take about two hours to TRULY warp the laws of nature."
Krosp: "I thought you weren't convinced?"
Carson: "I'm GETTING THERE."
Vole: "Yes sir. Dere iz now, in der town, a SECOND gurl claiming to be a Heterodyne."
Gil: "A second- Is SHE attempting to enter the Castle?"
Vole: "No, sir. She iz in a COFFEE SHOP."
Gil: "...A coffee shop? What is she doing in a coffee shop?"
Vole: "She iz making COFFEE, sir."
Gil: "Making coffee-"
Vole: "Dere haff been THREE EXPLOSIONS so far, sir."
Gil: "AGATHA!"
Gil: "Yes. YOU'RE RIGHT. I shouldn't be pleased AT ALL."
Sifu: "Er- when did I say-"
Gil: "Father is convinced she's dangerous."
Sifu: "Well, ALL EVIDENCE SUGGESTS-"
Gil: "That's why I sent her to ENGLAND."
Sifu: "You did WHAT?! You sent the REAL Heterodyne heir to ENGLAND?"
Gil: "Yes. You remember my assistant, Wooster? He's a British spy. I sent HIM to get her out of Sturmhalten."
Sifu: "You... you sent... You KNOW your father isn't on the best of terms with England-"
Gil: "Well, of COURSE I wasn't going to let them KEEP her. I told them that if they didn't keep her SAFE, I'd DESTROY them. OKAY?"
Sifu: "YOU TOLD THEM WHAT?!"
Vanamonde: "And this! This PERFECT SAUCER!"
Carson: "...Lady?"
Agatha: "Er... I can FIX that."
Minions: "I wouldn't worry about HER, if I were you. You mess with the mistress- you mess with MECHANICSBURG!"
Carson: "Er- I'll have to ask you and the girls to keep an EYE on my idiot grandson."
Waitress: "Of course, sir! We'll take care of him."
Vanamonde: "Of COURSE they will! They're PERFECT!"
Gil: "Oh. That IS the imposter. AGATHA is in town, MAKING COFFEE."
Klaus: "Oh, DEAR. I AM still dreaming. AND it hurts. How UNFAIR."
Klaus: "Do you know that EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I'VE EVER KNOWN who had the SPARK has tried to KILL me? They're DANGEROUS!"
Gil: "Father- maybe it's YOU."
Klaus: "... ... No... No, I don't think so..."
Klaus: "But for pity's sake- DuPREE?"
Gil: "Oh, you have my SYMPATHY, but she'll keep you ALIVE."
Klaus: "But my will to live..."
Gil: "...AND her jaw's been wired shut."
Klaus: "Good heavens. I wouldn't miss this for the world!"
Wooster: "Um... we're not going to meet some ancient undead Heterodyne vampire or something, are we?"
Carson: "Oh, and wouldn't THAT be the perfect capper to my day."
Wooster: "Um, actually, that wasn't a 'ho ho, don't be SILLY, old chap.'"
Carson: "I ain't being paid to LIE to you, Brit."
Wooster: "You mean..."
Carson: "But that's not what we're looking for today."
Wooster: "You mean there's days when you DO go looking for it?"
Carson: "I didn't say they were GOOD days."
Agatha: "Why couldn't WOOSTER do it?"
Wooster: "ME?!"
Agatha: "I mean, for example."
Wooster: "FOR EXAMPLE?"
Agatha: "Sh. I'm CURIOUS."
Carson: "Because I'M the SENESCHAL. I'M the one with the special holes pre-drilled into his SKULL."
Agatha: "Oh, I can do THAT!"
Wooster: "What IS it with you?!"
Carson: "She's a Heterodyne, son. And this is MECHANICSBURG. It does something to 'em. You'll get used to it, if you LIVE."
The Castle: "...This is a TRICK."
Wooster: "No."
The Castle: "YOU'RE the Heterodyne."
Wooster: "NO."
The Castle: "You just ACT like a miserable lackey."
Wooster: "NO!"
The Castle: "... You like to wear women's clothing."
Agatha: "ENOUGH!"
Diamant: "That old FOOL! All the Heterodynes are DEAD! AAAAH!"
The Castle: "You disloyal DOG!"
Diamant: "NO! I-"
The Castle: "Obviously it has been FAR too long since you felt the master's DISPLEASURE!"
Diamant: "CARSON! CALL IT OFF!"
The Castle: "Heh heh heh. I think you've annoyed HIM, too!"
Diamant: "CARSON!"
Agatha: "STOP!"
The Castle: "..."
Agatha: "I am here NOW! And I'm telling you to LET HIM GO!"
The Castle: "You are not the Heterodyne YET."
Agatha: "Enough! Make no mistake. I AM the Heterodyne! And you'll do what I say NOW- because if you DON'T, and you HURT him- then I'LL have to find another way to stop these people, and that could take TIME. Time YOU don't HAVE! They'll shut you down, and then you'll be DEAD, having UTTERLY FAILED THE HETERODYNES. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!"
The Castle: "I- NO! Can't I just WOUND him?"
Agatha: "NO!"
The Castle: "WHY NOT?"
Agatha: "Because I NEED him. Now let him GO before I get MAD!"
The Castle: "..." (whreee!)
Agatha: "I HEARD that!"
The Castle: "Oh... FINE! Maybe I just won't kill anyone at ALL!"
Agatha: "Suit yourself."
Diamant: "I AM YOUR LOYAL SERVANT UNTIL THE END OF DAYS, MY LADY!"
The Castle: "Grovels NICELY, doesn't he?"
Vole: "De pipple of Mechanicsburg vould NOT except dot as proof dot she iz a Heterodyne."
Gil: "No, neither would MY FATHER."
Vole: "...Not unless she danced nekked through de ruins vile trying to shoot down de moon, turned all de TOURISTS INTO MONSTERS, and den built a very dangerous fountain out of SAUSAGES."
Gil: "Well... YES. That goes without SAYING."
Vole: "Votever hyu say, Meester 'I'm So Schmot I Don't Gotta Make Sense.'"
Oggie: "Hoy! Someting iz heppenink!"
Jenka: "Dis had better not be anodder GURL takin' a BATH."
Maxim: "Oh, I don' tink ve gets dot lucky TWICE!"
Wooster: "LOOK! Battle clanks! HUGE ones!"
Agatha: "OOOOOOH! MAGNIFICENT!"
Krosp: "Um, they ARE here to ATTACK us."
Agatha: "And I can't WAIT to see them in action!"
Diamant: "Well, THAT'S encouraging."
Krosp: "WHAT?!"
Diamant: "Her GRANDFATHER used to open the gates for things like this- so he could get a BETTER LOOK."
Agatha: "What is he DOING?! He's all alone! He'll be KILLED!"
Zeetha: "Oh? And what do YOU care?"
Agatha: "Ah... Er- the Baron will blame ME?"
Zeetha: "Oh. Of COURSE. We'll just root for HIM, then."
Dimo: "Hoy! So who ELSE vants to be PROMOTED?!"
Agatha: "But-"
Zeetha: "...BUT?"
Agatha: "Well, even if he's a vicous madman out to pickle me, I'm... I'm kinda of worried about him. Could you find him and make sure he's okay?"
Zeetha: "ME?"
Agatha: "Please?"
Zeetha: "Well, I WAS going to sit around in a cafe worrying about YOU, but... SURE. I can take care of him."
Dimo: "Hmf. An I heard hyu vuz SCHMOT. Hyu iz defending OUR town. Hyu fallin' down in front of effreybody ain't goot for de town- OR for MIZ AGATHA."
Gil: "AGATHA?! Yes, that... that would be BAD. Can't fall down in front of AGATHA."
Oggie: "Hah! Remember dot 'x de destroyer' guy? Who thot dot big 'x' on de ground vos vere he should set up hiz TENT?! HEE!"
Maxim and Oggie: "SPLAT!"
Maxim: "Goot times!"
Oggie: "Yah. But dey hadta get a new 'x' made!"
Maxim: "Haw! BOTH sides said DOT!"
Dimo: "Zo- iz verra NIZE of hyu to save MIZ AGATHA's town for her..."
Gil: "Oh, well. She's a very nice girl."
Dimo: "Dot's RIGHT. VERRA nize."
Gil: "I feel... STRANGE. I didn't think I'd been hit THAT badly."
Jenka: "Oh, you prob'ly izn't hit TOO bad."
Gil: "But-"
Jenka: "Iz dis de first time hyu faced down an entire army all by hyuself vit a veapon hyu vasn't sure vos gonna VORK?"
Gil: "Well, YES..."
Jenka: "VELL den. Dot's just hyu body bein' all surprized hyu ain't all blowed op and DEAD! Next time, hyu von't even BLINK!"
Gil: "Next... I REALLY think I have to lie down now."
Dimo: "Hyup. Vun MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE comin' op!"
Jenka: "NO VUN gun see HYU until hyu iz stompin' around all scary-like again."
Guard: "Aw, go kiss a construct."
Oggie: "Um- ectually, VE dun tek orders from hyu."
Gil: "WHAT was that?"
Jenka, Dimo, Maxim, and Oggie: "NOTTINK! Ve's goot!"
Gil: "Is he gone?"
Dimo: "Vot?"
Gil: "Vole. Is he gone?"
Dimo: "Vell, YAH. He run off already."
Gil: "GOOD." (WHUMP!)
Dimo: "HOY!"
Oggie: "Hy LIKES dis guy! He'z FUNNY! Let's get him fixed up, YAH?"
Jenka: "Ho YEZ. If only cause hyu MIZ AGATHA likes him."
Dimo: "Iz dot so?"
Jenka: "Hy haz it on de HIGHEST AUTHORITY."
Dimo: "Hmm. Dot's GOOT. He likes HER, TOO. Und he seems like a STURDY vun. Vit Miz Agatha, dot's gun be IMPAWTENT."
Maxim: "Excellent! Hy vill teach him how to impress de GORLS!"
Oggie: "Hy vill teach him about de birds und de veasles!"
Dimo: "Und hy vill teach him how to AVOID THOSE TWO."
Jenka: "Ah. Den he may haff a CHENCE."
Moloch: "STOP! You'll... you'll COLLAPSE MY SOUFFLE!"
The Kitchen: "What?! Oh dear. SORRY-"
Moloch: "Wait- 'WE?' Oh, NO WAY. What am I SAYING? You listen to ME. I am NOT your MINION. FORGET IT. No no no no no no NO!"
Agatha: "I'm sure I don't know WHAT you're talking about."
Moloch: "Uh huh. Most of the people in here are either low-grade sparks, or their loyal minions who were too STUPID to stop fighting when the Baron arrived. Well, I've seen where THAT gets you! I'm NOBODY'S HAPPY LITTLE HELPER. You GOT IT?"
Agatha: "Got it."
Moloch: "GOOD."
Agatha: "So- I should get started. Can you help me carry these tools?"
Moloch: "Oh, yeah. Sure."
Moloch: "We're now completely at the mercy of a sadistic mechanical MONSTER! AK! ...EEP!"
Agatha: "But it's MY sadistic mechanical monster- and I'm here to make sure it KNOWS it."
Zeetha: "So basically, what you're saying is: 'Golly, I kind of think I might sorta LIKE her, but maybe she's like, all mind-bendingly EVIL and stuff, so I'd better knock her on the head and haul her back to Dad's lab so he can experiment on her. And if we're wrong, and she's innocent, I'll zap her back, apologize, and invite her to tea!' Good one, Romeo."
Gil: "How can I justify letting all that death and destruction happen AGAIN- just because I fell in LOVE?"
Zeetha: "It MEANS that when you GET HER ALONE, you make DARN SURE she keeps that locket ON!"
Gil: "... I am REASONABLY CERTAIN that there are more IMPORTANT considerations than THAT-"
Zeetha: "Not if you want to avoid KISSING THE OTHER. EEEW."
Gil: "Is your mind ALWAYS IN THE GUTTER?"
Zeetha: "-Asks the man with NO PANTS."
Blue Jager-Girl: "So- you're the Lady Heterodyne's BOYFRIEND! Whee! Isn't she a LUCKY GIRL!"
Green Jager-Girl: "Hmf. He's still just COURTING her. It's not like she's ACCEPTED him yet."
Pink Jager-Girl: "RIGHT! You gotta spur a horse around the yard a bit before you BUY him!"
Gil: "But... but the jagers have a TERRIBLE reputation! People are afraid of them! They HATE them! And you're telling me TOURISTS come here to drink with FAKE ONES?"
Blue Jager-Girl: "You'd be SURPRISED."
Green Jager-Girl: "You'd be SHOCKED!"
Pink Jager-Girl: "I don't drink."
Gil: "Right. Enough of this hilarity. I can't go out in public like this."
Maxim: "Ov CAUZ not!"
Gil: "...Of course not?"
Maxim: "Not vitout hyu HAT!"
Zeetha: "And I am ZEETHA, daughter of CHUMP."
Gil: "'CHUMP?'"
Zeetha: "A great warrior. And YES, I KNOW what it means in your language. Amusing, yes?"
Gil: "Er-"
Zeetha: "I'm so glad you agree. Because I am your NEW BEST FRIEND."
Jager: "Woo hoo! Fight vit ME, fightin' gorl!"
Zeetha: "Argh. I'm cut off. NOW what?"
Higgs: "Just HIT THEM WITH SOMETHING."
Zeetha: "Well, I'm hardly going to use my SWORDS in HERE! Agatha wouldn't like it."
Higgs: "Of course not. You want to keep it FRIENDLY."
Zeetha: "FRIENDLY?"
Higgs: "Sure. Friendly. No weapons. Hold on-" (CRASH!) "...WHAT?"
Zeetha: "You just said: 'no weapons.'"
Higgs: "That wasn't a WEAPON, that was a CHAIR."
Zeetha: "Well then! Give me a CHAIR!"
Higgs: "Comin' up. So, uh, what brings YOU here?"
Zeetha: "HA! That's not a weapon, that's a CHAIR!"
Jager: "Ow!"
Zeetha: "Oh, I'm with some guys."
Higgs: "Ah. Smart guys?"
Zeetha: "Yeah, I guess. TANKARD! Not a weapon!"
Jager: "Aie!"
Higgs: "Found 'em."
Zeetha: "THAT'S not a weapon! That's a TABLE!"
Jager: "URG!"
Zeetha: "Wait- how do you know they're SMART?"
Higgs: "They're not fighting a bar full of jagers."
Zeetha: "Heh. Good one. HEY! Just what are you IMPLYING?"
Higgs: "Miss- you look so extraordinarily dangerous, I wouldn't THINK of implying ANYTHING."
Zeetha: "Awww..."
Higgs: "Now, let's get you back to your FRIENDS." ...QUICKLY.
Dimo: "Ho, YEZ. But HERE, ve all vorks for de HETERODYNES. Ain't dot RIGHT, Franz?"
Franz: "Yah, yah, Heterodynes forever. Now shotop. Trying to sleep, here."
Agatha: "I'M the rightful Heterodyne."
The Castle: "Oh, REALLY."
Agatha: "Yes. Really. I spoke to you in the crypt. I'm supposed to get to the LIBRARY."
The Castle: "The crypt? HMM. I don't remember THAT."
Agatha: "I didn't expect you to. I'm here to REPAIR you. There's also a FALSE Heterodyne in the castle. She wants to shut you down and kill me. The people after me are her minions."
The Castle: "Ah. Very good. I understand."
Moloch: "AIEEEEE!"
Agatha: "HE'S with ME!"
The Castle: "Ah. Then PERHAPS you should have said: 'the people after US.'"
Vanamonde: "LOOK AT THAT! Still operative after all these years! Ha! Back then, 'made in Mechanicsburg' really MEANT something!"
Krosp: "...It meant death and destruction."
Vanamonde: "That's something."
Agatha: "Let's just say that SOMEWHERE in this place there's a dial marked: 'High Drama,' and it needs to be turned WAY down."
The Castle: "I DO have a certain FLAIR."
Moloch: "'Not a threat?' SERIOUSLY?"
Agatha: "Well, of COURSE. I don't want any more trouble with HIM."
Moloch: "I... don't think he's gonna BELIEVE that. I think he's gonna be pretty MAD, actually."
Agatha: "Mad?! Mad about what?! ... WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
The Castle: "I did what you TOLD me to do."
Agatha: *looks outside* "AAAH!"
The Castle: "Welcome home, my lady! How may I serve you?"
Pretend-Agatha: "Oh, goody! Who can you KILL for me?"
The Castle: "I can kill people in the sky!"
Pretend-Agatha: "Yay! Do that! Kill everyone in the sky!"
Agatha: "I'm going to have to think twice about EVERYTHING I say to you, AREN'T I?"
The Castle: "It'll be FUN!"
The Castle: "Ah. My lady? Do you have a... boyfriend?"
Agatha: "A WHAT?"
The Castle: "A boyfriend. A sweetheart. A swain. A beau. A lover. An intended consort. A fiance. A STUD."
Agatha: "NO!"
Moloch: "What? Are you SERIOUS? What happened to the thing with Gilgamesh Wulfenbach? You guys have a FIGHT or something?"
The Castle: "O-ho. WULFENBACH. The young man who single-handedly STOPPED THE INVADERS. VERY GOOD!"
Agatha: "We do NOT have a 'THING!'"
The Castle: "REALLY? He was certainly making a fool of himself over SOMEONE. Yessss- he'll do NICELY."
The Castle: "Gilgamesh is Klaus' sole heir, yes?"
Moloch: "So I've heard, but what do I know?"
Agatha: "I don't BELIEVE this! I HARDLY KNOW HIM!"
The Castle: "What's to know? His family is powerful, his spark burns strong, he's already taken with you-"
Agatha: "But-"
The Castle: "-and you cannot deny that he has a MAGNIFICENT death ray."
Agatha: "... That's... That's HARDLY a basis for a STABLE RELATIONSHIP."
The Castle: "Heh heh. All the Wulfenbach sparks are known for their oversized machinery, you know."
Agatha: "I'm SURE I HADN'T NOTICED."
The Castle: "I mean, just LOOK at Castle Wulfenbach. What EXACTLY are we trying to SAY, here?"
Moloch: "Wait. Are you talking about the DEVIL DOGS?!"
The Castle: "TECHNICALLY they're called: 'fun-sized mobile agony and death dispensers.'"
Moloch: "Geargrit, NO! Those things are almost IMPOSSIBLE to KILL! We're FINALLY in an area where nothing is trying to KILL US, and now she's going to DRAG ME ALONG while she commits SUICIDE trying to rescue her crazy boyfriend from a bunch of UNHOLY KILLING MACHINES! And if I don't go along, you'll amuse yourself by SQUASHING ME LIKE A BUG! I'M DOOMED EITHER WAY!"
The Castle: "You have a remarkably ASTUTE grasp of the situation."
Moloch: "I have been around WAY TOO MANY SPARKS!"
Tarvek: "Lady Vrin. In Sturmhalten. What did you do to her?"
Agatha: "WHO ARE YOU?"
Tarvek: "Please. This is VERY IMPORTANT."
Agatha: "Ah- you won't be MAD?"
Tarvek: "No. PLEASE."
Agatha: "Well, I kind of hit her with a broom."
Moloch: "A BROOM?"
Agatha: "I kind of hit her with a broom A LOT."
Violetta: "Are you DONE? Are you FINISHED? No, wait, you CAN'T BE! You're STILL ALIVE!"
Tarvek: "Violetta, I REALLY HATE you."
Violetta: "YOU hate ME?! HOW DARE YOU! Feel my hate! FEEL IT! You aren't ALLOWED to commit suicide! Only I must kill you!"
Moloch: "Wait- he wanted to come in HERE to be SAFE?!"
Violetta: "YES! Now do you understand what I have to WORK WITH?"
Moloch: "But... why did you LISTEN to him?"
Violetta: "I panicked! I told you, I'm NOT GOOD AT THIS!"
Violetta: "Whoa! Hey! Back WAY OFF!"
The Castle: "My lady?"
Agatha: "Alive and unharmed."
The Castle: "Very good." (SLAM!)
Tarvek: "I didn't say they weren't IDIOTS!"
Gil: "I don't want to take anyone into the castle who doesn't DESERVE IT."
Sleipner: "Oh. Nice. You're taking US in."
Gil: "No, I am NOT!"
Sleipner: "And the last time you won an argument with ME was..."
Gil: "CURSES! Another brilliant plan, FOILED!"
Sleipner: "You could FIGHT me for 'em."
Gil: "NO! You fight DIRTY!"
Sleipner: "A base canard."
Gil: "Stay away from me!"
Sleipner: "Wuss."
Gil: "Let all who gather see that I, GILGAMENT WULFENBACH will DEFEND the Heterodyne girl with my life! No one will keep me from her side! She is MY CHOSEN BRIDE, and any who would harm her will ANSWER TO ME! Oh, jeez. Did I really just say that?"
Theo: "Yes."
Gil: "Okay, nobody heard that."
Krosp: "I heard-"
Gil: "Oh ho! So your vile cat slanders my good name! Now we must fight!"
Zeetha: "... You are SUCH a dork."
Theo?: "Gil. You're making me NERVOUS."
Gil: "How can that BE?! A jolly entertainer like myself? A spreader of MIRTH?!"
Sleipner?: "At least stop SMILING. It's CREEPY."
Gil: "But everyone is having such a GOOD TIME!"
Theo: "If you look like a demented idiot, no-one will take you SERIOUSLY."
Gil: "But no-one does that NOW!"
Sleipner: "True, but at least you'd have your DIGNITY."
Theo?: "Yes, ladies and gentlemen- the dangerously handsome young man who stands before you is indeed the son of Baron Wulfenbach!"
Sleipner?: "AAAND he has PERSONALLY vowed to woo, win and wed the Lady Heterodyne, and bring peace to all Europa!"
Zeetha: "IT'S TRUE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! And, never fear, folks, I'm SURE he intends to wed her MOST VIGOROUSLY!"
Violetta: "Well, the CROWD'S for it."
Moloch: "The crowd is ALWAYS for THAT!"
Gil: "What are you iditios trying to DO to me?! When AGATHA hears about that- not to mention that my father will LEVEL this place because I've obviously gone INSANE."
Higgs: "Sir- I WOULD like to point out that we are now INSIDE CASTLE HETERODYNE: a hideous uncontrolled death trap?"
Gil: "NOW you're just trying to cheer me up. Well, it WON'T WORK. I'm STILL MAD."
Gil: "I want you to know that, while I may hate my life, I hate ALL OF YOU even more."
Tarvek: "Imagine that everything is made of pigs!"
Tarvek: "We must stop the moon from eating the mushrooms!"
Tarvek: "Ack! PIGEONS!"
Gil: "Oh, yes. Those annoying, inconvenient 'facts.'"
Moloch: "Well, you said you weren't going out after Wulfenbach without some kind of DEFENSE. Then you built a death ray. Then, you conked out on the table. Then, every time I tried to wake you up, you POINTED THAT THING AT ME!"
Agatha: "I remember building it, but- you're saying I THREATENED you with it?!"
Moloch: "You totally did."
Agatha: "Oh. Well, at LEAST I didn't... UM..."
Moloch: "..."
Agatha: "I did THAT?!"
Moloch: "You TOTALLY DID!"
Violetta: "Jeez. What a dope. I have NO IDEA what she sees in him."
Moloch: "Ho. PROBABLY NOTHING. You wait 'til WULFENBACH gets here."
Violetta: "HUH. Don't let Nancy Boy fool you. He may want to dress her up, but he's JUST as interested in UNDRESSING her."
Moloch: "Yeah? Well, YOU haven't seen Wulfenbach when he really LOSES IT. He'll have her over his shoulder thirty seconds after he sees her. Your boy won't stand a CHANCE."
Violetta: "You think she'll put up with that? You wait and see. Tarvek's a PIG, but he's GREAT with the sweet talk."
Moloch: "Sweet talk, huh? You got me there. But Wulfenbach's smart. HE'LL LEARN. 'Specially since, when she PUNCHES, she puts her HIPS into it."
Violetta: "Ouch. This should be GOOD. Say- you wanna make a BET on who she'll pick?"
Moloch: "Sure! But, HEY- she's the Heterodyne. Maybe she'll just keep 'em BOTH."
Violetta: "Oh please! A boyfriend is an ACCESSORY. You don't go around wearing two HATS."
Moloch: "Oh yeah? I saw this jager-"
Gil: "Um- when you see Agatha, tell her- Um, tell her I am anxious to speak to her so that we can overcome our mutual obstacles."
Zeetha: (snort) "NO."
Gil: "What?"
Zeetha: "That sounds moronic. Try again."
Gil: "Um, then... tell her that I'm pretty sure I'm fond of her, and if it's mutual and she's not too evil, perhaps we can-"
Zeetha: "NO!"
Gil: "OW! Why are you HITTING me?! I LOVE HER AND I WANT TO HELP HER!"
Zeetha: "Now THAT, I'll pass along."
The Castle: "Ah! My lady, I believe I have found your other young man."
Agatha: "How is he?"
The Castle: "He appears to be mildly singed."
The Castle: "EXCELLENT. I shall re-open the old HAREM QUARTERS."
Gil: "So how about we just SHOOT THEM ALL NOW and GET IT OVER WITH?! THEN we can build a nice doomsday device and WIPE OUT ALL OF EUROPA!"
The Castle: "He has asked her out on a DATE."
The Castle: "My lady! It is indeed a LOVELY death ray, but- could you perhaps lower the power just a LITTLE more?"
Agatha: "AW- but I ALREADY turned it WAY DOWN!"
The Castle: "Er, PLEASE?!"
The Castle: "While I realize the futility of trying to dissuage you from acquiring GREATER FIREPOWER... could you please TRY not to hit anything- STRUCTURAL?"
Agatha: "Oh, stop WHINING. You'll be FINE. You're INCREDIBLY overbuilt."
The Castle: "Hee hee... do you really THINK so?"
Diaz: "DeLIGHTfully done, my lady. Your enemy is thoroughly CRUSHED. You ARE a TRUE HETERODYNE."
Agatha: "But... but... Oh. I can't BELIEVE this! Fine! Just- JUST- FINE! I get it. I SEE where this is GOING. SHE came here, claiming to be the Heterodyne- with her stupid pink airship and her pretty perfect clothes and her CHEAP THEATRICS- trying to steal MY town and MY castle- not to mention, she tried to KILL me and is probably the one responsible for that ARMY OF CLANKS at my gate- but I'M the big meanie, because I made princess psycho CRY. I'M the bad guy, because, for whatever reason, YOU didn't tell your NASTY LITTLE FRIEND who you ARE, and now she's SAD. So you're mad at ME- because NOW she's all sweet and teary and needs RESCUING, and I'M the evil madgirl with the death ray and the freakish ancestors- and the town full of minions- and the horde of jagers- and the homicidal castle full of sycophantic evil geniuses and fun-sized hunter-killer monster clanks and GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT ELSE- ... And you know what? I CAN WORK WITH THAT! So listen up, all of you! I am armed, EXTREMELY ANNOYED, and the mistress of this castle. YOU will follow MY ORDERS, and I will tell the castle not to SQUASH you."
Agatha: "Very well, then. Cross me and die."
Agatha: "Look. I'm sorry I can't CRY and let you RESCUE me- but it looks like I've got to be the Big Bad Heterodyne for a while."
The Castle: "YAY, MISTRESS!"
The Castle: "They were in the cistern?"
Diaz: "Why, YES."
The Castle: "The one with the giant electrified squid clanks?"
Diaz: "But those have been deactivated... OH."
The Castle: "I DO feel good today!"
Agatha: "YOU stay here and keep an eye on things. You can clean up a bit while you're at it. And don't go wandering off, or the castle may get TESTY."
The Castle: "It's true... I sometimes DO, you know."
Agatha: "Guard it, and get all the bits together so I can have a look at them later."
The Castle: "My lady, I really don't like-"
Agatha: "Look, you can just SQUASH anyone who actually tries to ACTIVATE it, OKAY?"
The Castle: "But, I STILL-"
Agatha: "HETERODYNE!"
The Castle: "...YES, MISTRESS."
The Castle: "You have now damaged SEVERAL of my systems. By some miracle, you hit nothing ESSENTIAL, but I am STILL FOND of MANY of them."
Agatha: "Ah. I'm sorry. No more death ray, then."
The Castle: "THANK YOU."
Agatha: "It's nearly out of power, anyway."
The Castle: "Such a SHAME."
Agatha: "HEY, GIL! All of Paris is about to go up in flames, and Zola has her head caught in a BUCKET! UP AND AT 'EM, HERO BOY!"
Gil: "Hm? A bucket? AGAIN? Okay, I'm comin'."
Agatha: "Yeeeess. I SUSPECTED as much."
Agatha: "I notice that the way I came isn't on your map."
Tiktoffen: "Ah! We are in uncharted territory. I will scream like a little girl now."
Agatha: "Um... please don't."
Tiktoffen: "No, no- I INSIST."
The Castle: "Oh, DO LET HIM, mistress. It's VERY FUNNY."
Gil: "Hey! THIS ISN'T PARIS!"
Gil: "Um..."
Agatha: "It was so VERY much MY TURN."
Gil: "...Yeah, okay."
Agatha: "Gil- you... you were RIGHT."
Gil: "Huh?"
Agatha: "You were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, and I felt SO BAD, and I'm REALLY SORRY."
Gil: "... Ah- about WHAT, exactly?"
Agatha: "OTHAR! I was so MAD at you, and then, within the hour, I threw him out of an airship, TOO!"
Gil: "And you felt bad for throwing-"
Agatha: "I felt bad for YELLING AT YOU!"
Gil: "Ah. It's okay. Othar DOES that to people."
Tarvek: "Wait! I... I see it now... I AM THE PRETTIEST FROG IN THIS ENTIRE POND!!"
Gil: "Listen to yourself. You're a strong spark, but you're HOLDING IT BACK. You're so afraid of HURTING him, you've gone all SLOPPY AND HELPLESS."
Agatha: "How dare you!"
Gil: "This isn't like you! You haven't even TRIED!"
Agatha: "What do you know about it? You HARDLY KNOW ME!"
Gil: "I know you well ENOUGH! You're BETTER than this!"
Agatha: "Gil- LOOK at this place! It'd be easier to just KILL him and THEN REVIVE him!"
Agatha and Gil: "Oooooooh..."
Tarvek: "Yay! There you are!"
Tarvek: "I hear birdies!"
Agatha: "HA! THERE you are! Get on the slab- I WANT TO GET TO WORK!"
Gil: "Wow!"
Moloch: "...Spooky girl's ALL YOURS, pal."
Moloch: "This is CRAZY! By your 'logic,' you shouldn't have let any of your Heterodynes out of their bedrooms! EVER!"
The Castle: "Oh. Yesss- that WAS a mistake. I SEE that now."
Agatha: "THANK YOU. For your HELP."
Moloch: "I'll just..."
Agatha: "Shut up?"
Moloch: "Yes."
The Castle: "I am so glad we had this little TALK."
Agatha: "Anything ELSE you want?"
The Castle: "Well... one simply CANNOT have TOO MANY WEATHER-VANES..."
Tarvek: "I tire of this charade! The lady Heterodyne is MINE! And I will PROVE it by STOMPING THIS LOUT INTO THE DIRT!"
The Castle: "Oh. Oh, MY. Can... can it be CHRISTMAS?"
Tarvek: "Nah. I'm just going to senselessly POUND him."
The Castle: "Ah! Mindless violence. What a GOOD BOY."
Gil: "Ho, YEAH. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME."
The Castle: "Yeees! THAT'S THE SPIRIT! Oh, well DONE my lady-"
Gil: "It is SO on."
The Castle: "They'll BOTH do NICELY!"
Tarvek: "Yes, she's TECHNICALLY dead. But it's kind of a ROLLING DEATH thing- so she's not all the way DEAD dead."
The Otilia Castle: "GRAAAAH!"
Tarvek: "Yeah, okay, I could have put that better."
Theo: "Wait- you're- you're AUNT LUCREZIA?!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "...Pardon?"
Theo: "I'm Theopholous Dumedd! Your NEPHEW! Your sister- Serpentina Mongfish- she was my MOTHER!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "Theo... Good heavens, you've GROWN!"
Theo: "Yes! You came to my christening!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "Why... so I did!"
Theo: "And you brought me a clockwork snake!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "MR. HISSYFIT! He used to me MINE!"
Theo: "YES! He tried to eat my father, and knocked the bishop into the PUNCH BOWL!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "I'll be sure to tell DEAR Klaus that his boy was SO HELPFUL! AHAHAHA-"
Agatha: "NO! NO, I... I WON'T-"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "I- WHAT?!"
Agatha: "HE'S DYING-"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "I don't CARE! I-"
Agatha: "HE'S DYING-"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "No! You CAN'T!"
Agatha: "HE'S DYING-"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "Nooooo!"
Agatha: "And that is NOT going to happen in MY castle!"
Moloch: "...Agatha?"
Agatha: "Get me my locket! NOW!"
Agatha: "GIL! It was Gil- he's in TROUBLE..."
Moloch: "Yeah. Prince Sturmvoraus says he's DYING."
Agatha: "Don't you DARE!"
Gil: "Wha-?"
Agatha: "Is that supposed to IMPRESS us?"
Gil: "Err..."
Agatha: "'Ooh, all my friends went and died, so now I have to do it too?' Oh, no you DON'T!"
Gil: "Urk..."
Agatha: "You do NOT get to die just because 'everyone else did!' DO YOU HEAR ME?!"
Gil: "Ek..."
Tarvek: "AGATHA! What the devil are you DOING?!"
Sleipner: "Um- WHATEVER she's doing, don't make her STOP. His readings are IMPROVING."
Dimo: "Hy vundered vere HYU had got to."
Jenka: "ME? I vos travelink about, deliverink messages. Causink TROUBLE."
Krosp: "What did she give you? Hey! HEY! Curious cat, here!"
Agatha: "So- who ARE you, sir?"
Carson: "That's what I intend to ask YOU."
Wooster: "I don't think..."
Agatha: "But I DO. I think HE knows SOMETHING and WE know NOTHING. I am Agatha Heterodyne. Bill and Lucrezia were my parents."
Carson: "Interesting. WHERE ARE THEY?"
Agatha: "I don't know. I was raised by... well... you'd know them as PUNCH AND JUDY."
Carson: "THAT'S different. Did Punch ever mention a MASTER HELIOTROPE?"
Agatha: "No, because he COULDN'T TALK."
Carson: "Oh, my. Not many people KNOW that."
Agatha: "They probably ALSO don't know that he hiccups after he encounters electricity. I KNOW you're testing me. I CAN keep this up."
Carson: "WELCOME, my lady- if my lady you BE."
Zeetha: "Agatha?"
Agatha: "...I've never HAD coffee. Lilith said a young lady shouldn't drink STIMULANTS."
Zeetha: "Drink your coffee like a warrior."
Agatha: "...Yes, Zeetha."
Krosp: "Cold."
Vanamonde: "Uh-"
Krosp: "I think I LIKE you people. Of course, YOU still think she's a fake. I know BETTER."
Vanamonde: "YES. I DO think she's a fake."
Krosp: "You'll soon LEARN."
Vanamonde: "Oh?"
Krosp: "Yeah. This coffee you gave her. Strong stuff?"
Vanamonde: "It's my PERSONAL BLEND."
Krosp: "AH. I think you're about to find out that Lilith was a smart lady."
Vanamonde: "Um- miss, are you-"
Agatha: "ThisstuffiskindofinterestingbutIdon'tseewhatthebigdealis."
Vanamonde: "Well, my usual coffee engine is broken, so-"
Agatha: "Broken?"
Vanamonde: "We're using the backup machine, and-"
Agatha: "AHA! YESISEE.AsimpledoubleboilerwitharathercleverCONDENSERandaPERCOLATIONSYSTEMandSTEAMERHA!"
Repairman: "HEY!"
Agatha: "DoyouhaveanyINFORMATIONaboutthecoffeeEXTRACTIONprocess?"
Waitress: "Uh- we have a book by the cashier. You- could-"
Agatha: "Thankyou!WhythisisaSIMPLEexerciseinCHEMISTRY!"
Waitress: "borrow-"
Agatha: "Whereissomerawcoffee?NevermindIshallFINDit!"
Waitress: "it."
Agatha: "AHA!Isee!OfCOURSEyouwantittoTASTEasgoodasitSMELLS!"
Rinja: "Now, hold on! You GET OUT OF THAT!"
Agatha: "IneedPARTS!Writethisdown!"
Rinja: "I... I..."
Agatha: "WRITETHISDOWN!"
Rinja: "Um- yes, mistress!"
Vanamonde: "You didn't tell us she was a SPARK!"
Wooster: "She TOLD you she's AGATHA HETERODYNE."
Zeetha: "It should be no SURPRISE that she's a SPARK, TOO."
Krosp: "Not OUR fault you weren't paying attention."
Agatha: "Here'syourBOOKback!IcanTELLyouWROTEiteventhoughyouusedafakeNAME.AlltheSPELLINGCORRECTIONSareinRED."
Vanamonde: "What?"
Agatha: "Andhere'saLISToftheTHINGSIREQUIREplease."
Vanamonde: "Er- of- OF COURSE, my lady. ...WHAT did I just SAY?!"
Carson: "What our family has been saying to sparks for GENERATIONS! It's not like we LASTED long, if we DIDN'T!"
Agatha: "SHOWmeyourSKILL!DISASSEMBLEthoseBOILERS!WhenIREBUILDthemthey'llgofromCOLDtoBOILinEIGHT SECONDS!"
Repairman: "I- EIGHT SECONDS?! You can DO that? ... OKAY MISTRESS! YOU GOT IT!"
Wooster: "What-"
Customer: "She needs MORE BEANS!"
Wooster: "...Weren't you a CUSTOMER?"
Customer: "HELPING!"
Vanamonde: "I suppose you don't care that this was a genuine bugatti coffee engine... imported from Milan at GREAT PERSONAL EXPENSE..."
Agatha: "BIG HAMMER!"
Vanamonde: (sigh) "OF COURSE, my lady."
Carson: "A lot of folks DESPERATELY want a new Heterodyne. ANY new Heterodyne."
Krosp: "But it's been HOW long? I mean, the YOUNGER generation won't-"
Kid: "My family's been grave robbers to the masters fer a hunned years, an' I heard there's a new master, so I dug her up a dead rat cuz that's all I could FIND!"
Krosp: "You're HIRED."
Carson: "She's... she's Heterodyning..."
Vanamonde: "I doubt we'll get her out of here before she's finished 'improving' my coffee engine. And I DON'T just say that because the alternative is LEAVING IT IN PIECES."
Carson: "No, no, that's true..."
Coffee Engine: (CRASH! POW! ZAP! WHREEEE!)
Minions: "HOORAY!"
Agatha: "I MEANT to do that!"
Wooster: "How LONG...?"
Carson: "In my experience, a STRONG HETERODYNE will take about two hours to TRULY warp the laws of nature."
Krosp: "I thought you weren't convinced?"
Carson: "I'm GETTING THERE."
Vole: "Yes sir. Dere iz now, in der town, a SECOND gurl claiming to be a Heterodyne."
Gil: "A second- Is SHE attempting to enter the Castle?"
Vole: "No, sir. She iz in a COFFEE SHOP."
Gil: "...A coffee shop? What is she doing in a coffee shop?"
Vole: "She iz making COFFEE, sir."
Gil: "Making coffee-"
Vole: "Dere haff been THREE EXPLOSIONS so far, sir."
Gil: "AGATHA!"
Gil: "Yes. YOU'RE RIGHT. I shouldn't be pleased AT ALL."
Sifu: "Er- when did I say-"
Gil: "Father is convinced she's dangerous."
Sifu: "Well, ALL EVIDENCE SUGGESTS-"
Gil: "That's why I sent her to ENGLAND."
Sifu: "You did WHAT?! You sent the REAL Heterodyne heir to ENGLAND?"
Gil: "Yes. You remember my assistant, Wooster? He's a British spy. I sent HIM to get her out of Sturmhalten."
Sifu: "You... you sent... You KNOW your father isn't on the best of terms with England-"
Gil: "Well, of COURSE I wasn't going to let them KEEP her. I told them that if they didn't keep her SAFE, I'd DESTROY them. OKAY?"
Sifu: "YOU TOLD THEM WHAT?!"
Vanamonde: "And this! This PERFECT SAUCER!"
Carson: "...Lady?"
Agatha: "Er... I can FIX that."
Minions: "I wouldn't worry about HER, if I were you. You mess with the mistress- you mess with MECHANICSBURG!"
Carson: "Er- I'll have to ask you and the girls to keep an EYE on my idiot grandson."
Waitress: "Of course, sir! We'll take care of him."
Vanamonde: "Of COURSE they will! They're PERFECT!"
Gil: "Oh. That IS the imposter. AGATHA is in town, MAKING COFFEE."
Klaus: "Oh, DEAR. I AM still dreaming. AND it hurts. How UNFAIR."
Klaus: "Do you know that EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I'VE EVER KNOWN who had the SPARK has tried to KILL me? They're DANGEROUS!"
Gil: "Father- maybe it's YOU."
Klaus: "... ... No... No, I don't think so..."
Klaus: "But for pity's sake- DuPREE?"
Gil: "Oh, you have my SYMPATHY, but she'll keep you ALIVE."
Klaus: "But my will to live..."
Gil: "...AND her jaw's been wired shut."
Klaus: "Good heavens. I wouldn't miss this for the world!"
Wooster: "Um... we're not going to meet some ancient undead Heterodyne vampire or something, are we?"
Carson: "Oh, and wouldn't THAT be the perfect capper to my day."
Wooster: "Um, actually, that wasn't a 'ho ho, don't be SILLY, old chap.'"
Carson: "I ain't being paid to LIE to you, Brit."
Wooster: "You mean..."
Carson: "But that's not what we're looking for today."
Wooster: "You mean there's days when you DO go looking for it?"
Carson: "I didn't say they were GOOD days."
Agatha: "Why couldn't WOOSTER do it?"
Wooster: "ME?!"
Agatha: "I mean, for example."
Wooster: "FOR EXAMPLE?"
Agatha: "Sh. I'm CURIOUS."
Carson: "Because I'M the SENESCHAL. I'M the one with the special holes pre-drilled into his SKULL."
Agatha: "Oh, I can do THAT!"
Wooster: "What IS it with you?!"
Carson: "She's a Heterodyne, son. And this is MECHANICSBURG. It does something to 'em. You'll get used to it, if you LIVE."
The Castle: "...This is a TRICK."
Wooster: "No."
The Castle: "YOU'RE the Heterodyne."
Wooster: "NO."
The Castle: "You just ACT like a miserable lackey."
Wooster: "NO!"
The Castle: "... You like to wear women's clothing."
Agatha: "ENOUGH!"
Diamant: "That old FOOL! All the Heterodynes are DEAD! AAAAH!"
The Castle: "You disloyal DOG!"
Diamant: "NO! I-"
The Castle: "Obviously it has been FAR too long since you felt the master's DISPLEASURE!"
Diamant: "CARSON! CALL IT OFF!"
The Castle: "Heh heh heh. I think you've annoyed HIM, too!"
Diamant: "CARSON!"
Agatha: "STOP!"
The Castle: "..."
Agatha: "I am here NOW! And I'm telling you to LET HIM GO!"
The Castle: "You are not the Heterodyne YET."
Agatha: "Enough! Make no mistake. I AM the Heterodyne! And you'll do what I say NOW- because if you DON'T, and you HURT him- then I'LL have to find another way to stop these people, and that could take TIME. Time YOU don't HAVE! They'll shut you down, and then you'll be DEAD, having UTTERLY FAILED THE HETERODYNES. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!"
The Castle: "I- NO! Can't I just WOUND him?"
Agatha: "NO!"
The Castle: "WHY NOT?"
Agatha: "Because I NEED him. Now let him GO before I get MAD!"
The Castle: "..." (whreee!)
Agatha: "I HEARD that!"
The Castle: "Oh... FINE! Maybe I just won't kill anyone at ALL!"
Agatha: "Suit yourself."
Diamant: "I AM YOUR LOYAL SERVANT UNTIL THE END OF DAYS, MY LADY!"
The Castle: "Grovels NICELY, doesn't he?"
Vole: "De pipple of Mechanicsburg vould NOT except dot as proof dot she iz a Heterodyne."
Gil: "No, neither would MY FATHER."
Vole: "...Not unless she danced nekked through de ruins vile trying to shoot down de moon, turned all de TOURISTS INTO MONSTERS, and den built a very dangerous fountain out of SAUSAGES."
Gil: "Well... YES. That goes without SAYING."
Vole: "Votever hyu say, Meester 'I'm So Schmot I Don't Gotta Make Sense.'"
Oggie: "Hoy! Someting iz heppenink!"
Jenka: "Dis had better not be anodder GURL takin' a BATH."
Maxim: "Oh, I don' tink ve gets dot lucky TWICE!"
Wooster: "LOOK! Battle clanks! HUGE ones!"
Agatha: "OOOOOOH! MAGNIFICENT!"
Krosp: "Um, they ARE here to ATTACK us."
Agatha: "And I can't WAIT to see them in action!"
Diamant: "Well, THAT'S encouraging."
Krosp: "WHAT?!"
Diamant: "Her GRANDFATHER used to open the gates for things like this- so he could get a BETTER LOOK."
Agatha: "What is he DOING?! He's all alone! He'll be KILLED!"
Zeetha: "Oh? And what do YOU care?"
Agatha: "Ah... Er- the Baron will blame ME?"
Zeetha: "Oh. Of COURSE. We'll just root for HIM, then."
Dimo: "Hoy! So who ELSE vants to be PROMOTED?!"
Agatha: "But-"
Zeetha: "...BUT?"
Agatha: "Well, even if he's a vicous madman out to pickle me, I'm... I'm kinda of worried about him. Could you find him and make sure he's okay?"
Zeetha: "ME?"
Agatha: "Please?"
Zeetha: "Well, I WAS going to sit around in a cafe worrying about YOU, but... SURE. I can take care of him."
Dimo: "Hmf. An I heard hyu vuz SCHMOT. Hyu iz defending OUR town. Hyu fallin' down in front of effreybody ain't goot for de town- OR for MIZ AGATHA."
Gil: "AGATHA?! Yes, that... that would be BAD. Can't fall down in front of AGATHA."
Oggie: "Hah! Remember dot 'x de destroyer' guy? Who thot dot big 'x' on de ground vos vere he should set up hiz TENT?! HEE!"
Maxim and Oggie: "SPLAT!"
Maxim: "Goot times!"
Oggie: "Yah. But dey hadta get a new 'x' made!"
Maxim: "Haw! BOTH sides said DOT!"
Dimo: "Zo- iz verra NIZE of hyu to save MIZ AGATHA's town for her..."
Gil: "Oh, well. She's a very nice girl."
Dimo: "Dot's RIGHT. VERRA nize."
Gil: "I feel... STRANGE. I didn't think I'd been hit THAT badly."
Jenka: "Oh, you prob'ly izn't hit TOO bad."
Gil: "But-"
Jenka: "Iz dis de first time hyu faced down an entire army all by hyuself vit a veapon hyu vasn't sure vos gonna VORK?"
Gil: "Well, YES..."
Jenka: "VELL den. Dot's just hyu body bein' all surprized hyu ain't all blowed op and DEAD! Next time, hyu von't even BLINK!"
Gil: "Next... I REALLY think I have to lie down now."
Dimo: "Hyup. Vun MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE comin' op!"
Jenka: "NO VUN gun see HYU until hyu iz stompin' around all scary-like again."
Guard: "Aw, go kiss a construct."
Oggie: "Um- ectually, VE dun tek orders from hyu."
Gil: "WHAT was that?"
Jenka, Dimo, Maxim, and Oggie: "NOTTINK! Ve's goot!"
Gil: "Is he gone?"
Dimo: "Vot?"
Gil: "Vole. Is he gone?"
Dimo: "Vell, YAH. He run off already."
Gil: "GOOD." (WHUMP!)
Dimo: "HOY!"
Oggie: "Hy LIKES dis guy! He'z FUNNY! Let's get him fixed up, YAH?"
Jenka: "Ho YEZ. If only cause hyu MIZ AGATHA likes him."
Dimo: "Iz dot so?"
Jenka: "Hy haz it on de HIGHEST AUTHORITY."
Dimo: "Hmm. Dot's GOOT. He likes HER, TOO. Und he seems like a STURDY vun. Vit Miz Agatha, dot's gun be IMPAWTENT."
Maxim: "Excellent! Hy vill teach him how to impress de GORLS!"
Oggie: "Hy vill teach him about de birds und de veasles!"
Dimo: "Und hy vill teach him how to AVOID THOSE TWO."
Jenka: "Ah. Den he may haff a CHENCE."
Moloch: "STOP! You'll... you'll COLLAPSE MY SOUFFLE!"
The Kitchen: "What?! Oh dear. SORRY-"
Moloch: "Wait- 'WE?' Oh, NO WAY. What am I SAYING? You listen to ME. I am NOT your MINION. FORGET IT. No no no no no no NO!"
Agatha: "I'm sure I don't know WHAT you're talking about."
Moloch: "Uh huh. Most of the people in here are either low-grade sparks, or their loyal minions who were too STUPID to stop fighting when the Baron arrived. Well, I've seen where THAT gets you! I'm NOBODY'S HAPPY LITTLE HELPER. You GOT IT?"
Agatha: "Got it."
Moloch: "GOOD."
Agatha: "So- I should get started. Can you help me carry these tools?"
Moloch: "Oh, yeah. Sure."
Moloch: "We're now completely at the mercy of a sadistic mechanical MONSTER! AK! ...EEP!"
Agatha: "But it's MY sadistic mechanical monster- and I'm here to make sure it KNOWS it."
Zeetha: "So basically, what you're saying is: 'Golly, I kind of think I might sorta LIKE her, but maybe she's like, all mind-bendingly EVIL and stuff, so I'd better knock her on the head and haul her back to Dad's lab so he can experiment on her. And if we're wrong, and she's innocent, I'll zap her back, apologize, and invite her to tea!' Good one, Romeo."
Gil: "How can I justify letting all that death and destruction happen AGAIN- just because I fell in LOVE?"
Zeetha: "It MEANS that when you GET HER ALONE, you make DARN SURE she keeps that locket ON!"
Gil: "... I am REASONABLY CERTAIN that there are more IMPORTANT considerations than THAT-"
Zeetha: "Not if you want to avoid KISSING THE OTHER. EEEW."
Gil: "Is your mind ALWAYS IN THE GUTTER?"
Zeetha: "-Asks the man with NO PANTS."
Blue Jager-Girl: "So- you're the Lady Heterodyne's BOYFRIEND! Whee! Isn't she a LUCKY GIRL!"
Green Jager-Girl: "Hmf. He's still just COURTING her. It's not like she's ACCEPTED him yet."
Pink Jager-Girl: "RIGHT! You gotta spur a horse around the yard a bit before you BUY him!"
Gil: "But... but the jagers have a TERRIBLE reputation! People are afraid of them! They HATE them! And you're telling me TOURISTS come here to drink with FAKE ONES?"
Blue Jager-Girl: "You'd be SURPRISED."
Green Jager-Girl: "You'd be SHOCKED!"
Pink Jager-Girl: "I don't drink."
Gil: "Right. Enough of this hilarity. I can't go out in public like this."
Maxim: "Ov CAUZ not!"
Gil: "...Of course not?"
Maxim: "Not vitout hyu HAT!"
Zeetha: "And I am ZEETHA, daughter of CHUMP."
Gil: "'CHUMP?'"
Zeetha: "A great warrior. And YES, I KNOW what it means in your language. Amusing, yes?"
Gil: "Er-"
Zeetha: "I'm so glad you agree. Because I am your NEW BEST FRIEND."
Jager: "Woo hoo! Fight vit ME, fightin' gorl!"
Zeetha: "Argh. I'm cut off. NOW what?"
Higgs: "Just HIT THEM WITH SOMETHING."
Zeetha: "Well, I'm hardly going to use my SWORDS in HERE! Agatha wouldn't like it."
Higgs: "Of course not. You want to keep it FRIENDLY."
Zeetha: "FRIENDLY?"
Higgs: "Sure. Friendly. No weapons. Hold on-" (CRASH!) "...WHAT?"
Zeetha: "You just said: 'no weapons.'"
Higgs: "That wasn't a WEAPON, that was a CHAIR."
Zeetha: "Well then! Give me a CHAIR!"
Higgs: "Comin' up. So, uh, what brings YOU here?"
Zeetha: "HA! That's not a weapon, that's a CHAIR!"
Jager: "Ow!"
Zeetha: "Oh, I'm with some guys."
Higgs: "Ah. Smart guys?"
Zeetha: "Yeah, I guess. TANKARD! Not a weapon!"
Jager: "Aie!"
Higgs: "Found 'em."
Zeetha: "THAT'S not a weapon! That's a TABLE!"
Jager: "URG!"
Zeetha: "Wait- how do you know they're SMART?"
Higgs: "They're not fighting a bar full of jagers."
Zeetha: "Heh. Good one. HEY! Just what are you IMPLYING?"
Higgs: "Miss- you look so extraordinarily dangerous, I wouldn't THINK of implying ANYTHING."
Zeetha: "Awww..."
Higgs: "Now, let's get you back to your FRIENDS." ...QUICKLY.
Dimo: "Ho, YEZ. But HERE, ve all vorks for de HETERODYNES. Ain't dot RIGHT, Franz?"
Franz: "Yah, yah, Heterodynes forever. Now shotop. Trying to sleep, here."
Agatha: "I'M the rightful Heterodyne."
The Castle: "Oh, REALLY."
Agatha: "Yes. Really. I spoke to you in the crypt. I'm supposed to get to the LIBRARY."
The Castle: "The crypt? HMM. I don't remember THAT."
Agatha: "I didn't expect you to. I'm here to REPAIR you. There's also a FALSE Heterodyne in the castle. She wants to shut you down and kill me. The people after me are her minions."
The Castle: "Ah. Very good. I understand."
Moloch: "AIEEEEE!"
Agatha: "HE'S with ME!"
The Castle: "Ah. Then PERHAPS you should have said: 'the people after US.'"
Vanamonde: "LOOK AT THAT! Still operative after all these years! Ha! Back then, 'made in Mechanicsburg' really MEANT something!"
Krosp: "...It meant death and destruction."
Vanamonde: "That's something."
Agatha: "Let's just say that SOMEWHERE in this place there's a dial marked: 'High Drama,' and it needs to be turned WAY down."
The Castle: "I DO have a certain FLAIR."
Moloch: "'Not a threat?' SERIOUSLY?"
Agatha: "Well, of COURSE. I don't want any more trouble with HIM."
Moloch: "I... don't think he's gonna BELIEVE that. I think he's gonna be pretty MAD, actually."
Agatha: "Mad?! Mad about what?! ... WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
The Castle: "I did what you TOLD me to do."
Agatha: *looks outside* "AAAH!"
The Castle: "Welcome home, my lady! How may I serve you?"
Pretend-Agatha: "Oh, goody! Who can you KILL for me?"
The Castle: "I can kill people in the sky!"
Pretend-Agatha: "Yay! Do that! Kill everyone in the sky!"
Agatha: "I'm going to have to think twice about EVERYTHING I say to you, AREN'T I?"
The Castle: "It'll be FUN!"
The Castle: "Ah. My lady? Do you have a... boyfriend?"
Agatha: "A WHAT?"
The Castle: "A boyfriend. A sweetheart. A swain. A beau. A lover. An intended consort. A fiance. A STUD."
Agatha: "NO!"
Moloch: "What? Are you SERIOUS? What happened to the thing with Gilgamesh Wulfenbach? You guys have a FIGHT or something?"
The Castle: "O-ho. WULFENBACH. The young man who single-handedly STOPPED THE INVADERS. VERY GOOD!"
Agatha: "We do NOT have a 'THING!'"
The Castle: "REALLY? He was certainly making a fool of himself over SOMEONE. Yessss- he'll do NICELY."
The Castle: "Gilgamesh is Klaus' sole heir, yes?"
Moloch: "So I've heard, but what do I know?"
Agatha: "I don't BELIEVE this! I HARDLY KNOW HIM!"
The Castle: "What's to know? His family is powerful, his spark burns strong, he's already taken with you-"
Agatha: "But-"
The Castle: "-and you cannot deny that he has a MAGNIFICENT death ray."
Agatha: "... That's... That's HARDLY a basis for a STABLE RELATIONSHIP."
The Castle: "Heh heh. All the Wulfenbach sparks are known for their oversized machinery, you know."
Agatha: "I'm SURE I HADN'T NOTICED."
The Castle: "I mean, just LOOK at Castle Wulfenbach. What EXACTLY are we trying to SAY, here?"
Moloch: "Wait. Are you talking about the DEVIL DOGS?!"
The Castle: "TECHNICALLY they're called: 'fun-sized mobile agony and death dispensers.'"
Moloch: "Geargrit, NO! Those things are almost IMPOSSIBLE to KILL! We're FINALLY in an area where nothing is trying to KILL US, and now she's going to DRAG ME ALONG while she commits SUICIDE trying to rescue her crazy boyfriend from a bunch of UNHOLY KILLING MACHINES! And if I don't go along, you'll amuse yourself by SQUASHING ME LIKE A BUG! I'M DOOMED EITHER WAY!"
The Castle: "You have a remarkably ASTUTE grasp of the situation."
Moloch: "I have been around WAY TOO MANY SPARKS!"
Tarvek: "Lady Vrin. In Sturmhalten. What did you do to her?"
Agatha: "WHO ARE YOU?"
Tarvek: "Please. This is VERY IMPORTANT."
Agatha: "Ah- you won't be MAD?"
Tarvek: "No. PLEASE."
Agatha: "Well, I kind of hit her with a broom."
Moloch: "A BROOM?"
Agatha: "I kind of hit her with a broom A LOT."
Violetta: "Are you DONE? Are you FINISHED? No, wait, you CAN'T BE! You're STILL ALIVE!"
Tarvek: "Violetta, I REALLY HATE you."
Violetta: "YOU hate ME?! HOW DARE YOU! Feel my hate! FEEL IT! You aren't ALLOWED to commit suicide! Only I must kill you!"
Moloch: "Wait- he wanted to come in HERE to be SAFE?!"
Violetta: "YES! Now do you understand what I have to WORK WITH?"
Moloch: "But... why did you LISTEN to him?"
Violetta: "I panicked! I told you, I'm NOT GOOD AT THIS!"
Violetta: "Whoa! Hey! Back WAY OFF!"
The Castle: "My lady?"
Agatha: "Alive and unharmed."
The Castle: "Very good." (SLAM!)
Tarvek: "I didn't say they weren't IDIOTS!"
Gil: "I don't want to take anyone into the castle who doesn't DESERVE IT."
Sleipner: "Oh. Nice. You're taking US in."
Gil: "No, I am NOT!"
Sleipner: "And the last time you won an argument with ME was..."
Gil: "CURSES! Another brilliant plan, FOILED!"
Sleipner: "You could FIGHT me for 'em."
Gil: "NO! You fight DIRTY!"
Sleipner: "A base canard."
Gil: "Stay away from me!"
Sleipner: "Wuss."
Gil: "Let all who gather see that I, GILGAMENT WULFENBACH will DEFEND the Heterodyne girl with my life! No one will keep me from her side! She is MY CHOSEN BRIDE, and any who would harm her will ANSWER TO ME! Oh, jeez. Did I really just say that?"
Theo: "Yes."
Gil: "Okay, nobody heard that."
Krosp: "I heard-"
Gil: "Oh ho! So your vile cat slanders my good name! Now we must fight!"
Zeetha: "... You are SUCH a dork."
Theo?: "Gil. You're making me NERVOUS."
Gil: "How can that BE?! A jolly entertainer like myself? A spreader of MIRTH?!"
Sleipner?: "At least stop SMILING. It's CREEPY."
Gil: "But everyone is having such a GOOD TIME!"
Theo: "If you look like a demented idiot, no-one will take you SERIOUSLY."
Gil: "But no-one does that NOW!"
Sleipner: "True, but at least you'd have your DIGNITY."
Theo?: "Yes, ladies and gentlemen- the dangerously handsome young man who stands before you is indeed the son of Baron Wulfenbach!"
Sleipner?: "AAAND he has PERSONALLY vowed to woo, win and wed the Lady Heterodyne, and bring peace to all Europa!"
Zeetha: "IT'S TRUE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! And, never fear, folks, I'm SURE he intends to wed her MOST VIGOROUSLY!"
Violetta: "Well, the CROWD'S for it."
Moloch: "The crowd is ALWAYS for THAT!"
Gil: "What are you iditios trying to DO to me?! When AGATHA hears about that- not to mention that my father will LEVEL this place because I've obviously gone INSANE."
Higgs: "Sir- I WOULD like to point out that we are now INSIDE CASTLE HETERODYNE: a hideous uncontrolled death trap?"
Gil: "NOW you're just trying to cheer me up. Well, it WON'T WORK. I'm STILL MAD."
Gil: "I want you to know that, while I may hate my life, I hate ALL OF YOU even more."
Tarvek: "Imagine that everything is made of pigs!"
Tarvek: "We must stop the moon from eating the mushrooms!"
Tarvek: "Ack! PIGEONS!"
Gil: "Oh, yes. Those annoying, inconvenient 'facts.'"
Moloch: "Well, you said you weren't going out after Wulfenbach without some kind of DEFENSE. Then you built a death ray. Then, you conked out on the table. Then, every time I tried to wake you up, you POINTED THAT THING AT ME!"
Agatha: "I remember building it, but- you're saying I THREATENED you with it?!"
Moloch: "You totally did."
Agatha: "Oh. Well, at LEAST I didn't... UM..."
Moloch: "..."
Agatha: "I did THAT?!"
Moloch: "You TOTALLY DID!"
Violetta: "Jeez. What a dope. I have NO IDEA what she sees in him."
Moloch: "Ho. PROBABLY NOTHING. You wait 'til WULFENBACH gets here."
Violetta: "HUH. Don't let Nancy Boy fool you. He may want to dress her up, but he's JUST as interested in UNDRESSING her."
Moloch: "Yeah? Well, YOU haven't seen Wulfenbach when he really LOSES IT. He'll have her over his shoulder thirty seconds after he sees her. Your boy won't stand a CHANCE."
Violetta: "You think she'll put up with that? You wait and see. Tarvek's a PIG, but he's GREAT with the sweet talk."
Moloch: "Sweet talk, huh? You got me there. But Wulfenbach's smart. HE'LL LEARN. 'Specially since, when she PUNCHES, she puts her HIPS into it."
Violetta: "Ouch. This should be GOOD. Say- you wanna make a BET on who she'll pick?"
Moloch: "Sure! But, HEY- she's the Heterodyne. Maybe she'll just keep 'em BOTH."
Violetta: "Oh please! A boyfriend is an ACCESSORY. You don't go around wearing two HATS."
Moloch: "Oh yeah? I saw this jager-"
Gil: "Um- when you see Agatha, tell her- Um, tell her I am anxious to speak to her so that we can overcome our mutual obstacles."
Zeetha: (snort) "NO."
Gil: "What?"
Zeetha: "That sounds moronic. Try again."
Gil: "Um, then... tell her that I'm pretty sure I'm fond of her, and if it's mutual and she's not too evil, perhaps we can-"
Zeetha: "NO!"
Gil: "OW! Why are you HITTING me?! I LOVE HER AND I WANT TO HELP HER!"
Zeetha: "Now THAT, I'll pass along."
The Castle: "Ah! My lady, I believe I have found your other young man."
Agatha: "How is he?"
The Castle: "He appears to be mildly singed."
The Castle: "EXCELLENT. I shall re-open the old HAREM QUARTERS."
Gil: "So how about we just SHOOT THEM ALL NOW and GET IT OVER WITH?! THEN we can build a nice doomsday device and WIPE OUT ALL OF EUROPA!"
The Castle: "He has asked her out on a DATE."
The Castle: "My lady! It is indeed a LOVELY death ray, but- could you perhaps lower the power just a LITTLE more?"
Agatha: "AW- but I ALREADY turned it WAY DOWN!"
The Castle: "Er, PLEASE?!"
The Castle: "While I realize the futility of trying to dissuage you from acquiring GREATER FIREPOWER... could you please TRY not to hit anything- STRUCTURAL?"
Agatha: "Oh, stop WHINING. You'll be FINE. You're INCREDIBLY overbuilt."
The Castle: "Hee hee... do you really THINK so?"
Diaz: "DeLIGHTfully done, my lady. Your enemy is thoroughly CRUSHED. You ARE a TRUE HETERODYNE."
Agatha: "But... but... Oh. I can't BELIEVE this! Fine! Just- JUST- FINE! I get it. I SEE where this is GOING. SHE came here, claiming to be the Heterodyne- with her stupid pink airship and her pretty perfect clothes and her CHEAP THEATRICS- trying to steal MY town and MY castle- not to mention, she tried to KILL me and is probably the one responsible for that ARMY OF CLANKS at my gate- but I'M the big meanie, because I made princess psycho CRY. I'M the bad guy, because, for whatever reason, YOU didn't tell your NASTY LITTLE FRIEND who you ARE, and now she's SAD. So you're mad at ME- because NOW she's all sweet and teary and needs RESCUING, and I'M the evil madgirl with the death ray and the freakish ancestors- and the town full of minions- and the horde of jagers- and the homicidal castle full of sycophantic evil geniuses and fun-sized hunter-killer monster clanks and GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT ELSE- ... And you know what? I CAN WORK WITH THAT! So listen up, all of you! I am armed, EXTREMELY ANNOYED, and the mistress of this castle. YOU will follow MY ORDERS, and I will tell the castle not to SQUASH you."
Agatha: "Very well, then. Cross me and die."
Agatha: "Look. I'm sorry I can't CRY and let you RESCUE me- but it looks like I've got to be the Big Bad Heterodyne for a while."
The Castle: "YAY, MISTRESS!"
The Castle: "They were in the cistern?"
Diaz: "Why, YES."
The Castle: "The one with the giant electrified squid clanks?"
Diaz: "But those have been deactivated... OH."
The Castle: "I DO feel good today!"
Agatha: "YOU stay here and keep an eye on things. You can clean up a bit while you're at it. And don't go wandering off, or the castle may get TESTY."
The Castle: "It's true... I sometimes DO, you know."
Agatha: "Guard it, and get all the bits together so I can have a look at them later."
The Castle: "My lady, I really don't like-"
Agatha: "Look, you can just SQUASH anyone who actually tries to ACTIVATE it, OKAY?"
The Castle: "But, I STILL-"
Agatha: "HETERODYNE!"
The Castle: "...YES, MISTRESS."
The Castle: "You have now damaged SEVERAL of my systems. By some miracle, you hit nothing ESSENTIAL, but I am STILL FOND of MANY of them."
Agatha: "Ah. I'm sorry. No more death ray, then."
The Castle: "THANK YOU."
Agatha: "It's nearly out of power, anyway."
The Castle: "Such a SHAME."
Agatha: "HEY, GIL! All of Paris is about to go up in flames, and Zola has her head caught in a BUCKET! UP AND AT 'EM, HERO BOY!"
Gil: "Hm? A bucket? AGAIN? Okay, I'm comin'."
Agatha: "Yeeeess. I SUSPECTED as much."
Agatha: "I notice that the way I came isn't on your map."
Tiktoffen: "Ah! We are in uncharted territory. I will scream like a little girl now."
Agatha: "Um... please don't."
Tiktoffen: "No, no- I INSIST."
The Castle: "Oh, DO LET HIM, mistress. It's VERY FUNNY."
Gil: "Hey! THIS ISN'T PARIS!"
Gil: "Um..."
Agatha: "It was so VERY much MY TURN."
Gil: "...Yeah, okay."
Agatha: "Gil- you... you were RIGHT."
Gil: "Huh?"
Agatha: "You were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, and I felt SO BAD, and I'm REALLY SORRY."
Gil: "... Ah- about WHAT, exactly?"
Agatha: "OTHAR! I was so MAD at you, and then, within the hour, I threw him out of an airship, TOO!"
Gil: "And you felt bad for throwing-"
Agatha: "I felt bad for YELLING AT YOU!"
Gil: "Ah. It's okay. Othar DOES that to people."
Tarvek: "Wait! I... I see it now... I AM THE PRETTIEST FROG IN THIS ENTIRE POND!!"
Gil: "Listen to yourself. You're a strong spark, but you're HOLDING IT BACK. You're so afraid of HURTING him, you've gone all SLOPPY AND HELPLESS."
Agatha: "How dare you!"
Gil: "This isn't like you! You haven't even TRIED!"
Agatha: "What do you know about it? You HARDLY KNOW ME!"
Gil: "I know you well ENOUGH! You're BETTER than this!"
Agatha: "Gil- LOOK at this place! It'd be easier to just KILL him and THEN REVIVE him!"
Agatha and Gil: "Oooooooh..."
Tarvek: "Yay! There you are!"
Tarvek: "I hear birdies!"
Agatha: "HA! THERE you are! Get on the slab- I WANT TO GET TO WORK!"
Gil: "Wow!"
Moloch: "...Spooky girl's ALL YOURS, pal."
Moloch: "This is CRAZY! By your 'logic,' you shouldn't have let any of your Heterodynes out of their bedrooms! EVER!"
The Castle: "Oh. Yesss- that WAS a mistake. I SEE that now."
Agatha: "THANK YOU. For your HELP."
Moloch: "I'll just..."
Agatha: "Shut up?"
Moloch: "Yes."
The Castle: "I am so glad we had this little TALK."
Agatha: "Anything ELSE you want?"
The Castle: "Well... one simply CANNOT have TOO MANY WEATHER-VANES..."
Tarvek: "I tire of this charade! The lady Heterodyne is MINE! And I will PROVE it by STOMPING THIS LOUT INTO THE DIRT!"
The Castle: "Oh. Oh, MY. Can... can it be CHRISTMAS?"
Tarvek: "Nah. I'm just going to senselessly POUND him."
The Castle: "Ah! Mindless violence. What a GOOD BOY."
Gil: "Ho, YEAH. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME."
The Castle: "Yeees! THAT'S THE SPIRIT! Oh, well DONE my lady-"
Gil: "It is SO on."
The Castle: "They'll BOTH do NICELY!"
Tarvek: "Yes, she's TECHNICALLY dead. But it's kind of a ROLLING DEATH thing- so she's not all the way DEAD dead."
The Otilia Castle: "GRAAAAH!"
Tarvek: "Yeah, okay, I could have put that better."
Theo: "Wait- you're- you're AUNT LUCREZIA?!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "...Pardon?"
Theo: "I'm Theopholous Dumedd! Your NEPHEW! Your sister- Serpentina Mongfish- she was my MOTHER!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "Theo... Good heavens, you've GROWN!"
Theo: "Yes! You came to my christening!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "Why... so I did!"
Theo: "And you brought me a clockwork snake!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "MR. HISSYFIT! He used to me MINE!"
Theo: "YES! He tried to eat my father, and knocked the bishop into the PUNCH BOWL!"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "I'll be sure to tell DEAR Klaus that his boy was SO HELPFUL! AHAHAHA-"
Agatha: "NO! NO, I... I WON'T-"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "I- WHAT?!"
Agatha: "HE'S DYING-"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "I don't CARE! I-"
Agatha: "HE'S DYING-"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "No! You CAN'T!"
Agatha: "HE'S DYING-"
Lucrezia-Agatha: "Nooooo!"
Agatha: "And that is NOT going to happen in MY castle!"
Moloch: "...Agatha?"
Agatha: "Get me my locket! NOW!"
Agatha: "GIL! It was Gil- he's in TROUBLE..."
Moloch: "Yeah. Prince Sturmvoraus says he's DYING."
Agatha: "Don't you DARE!"
Gil: "Wha-?"
Agatha: "Is that supposed to IMPRESS us?"
Gil: "Err..."
Agatha: "'Ooh, all my friends went and died, so now I have to do it too?' Oh, no you DON'T!"
Gil: "Urk..."
Agatha: "You do NOT get to die just because 'everyone else did!' DO YOU HEAR ME?!"
Gil: "Ek..."
Tarvek: "AGATHA! What the devil are you DOING?!"
Sleipner: "Um- WHATEVER she's doing, don't make her STOP. His readings are IMPROVING."