Update
There's been nothing much of note happening. My hair is slowly fading back to it's natural color (which isn't a surprise really). Got my cartilage pierced after a week's delay due to the coworker who was supposed to do it for me was out sick for a week. Luckily, unlike the last time I had this piercing done, no signs of infection. I am very pleased with it. I am definitely not loving having the hoops up there, at least not as big as these ones are, but they'll hold until I can get something else. I had a minor mishap with one of the ears -- when I took them out briefly the first week just to check for signs of an infection, when I put the earring back in, it somehow found a different path in my ear? I dunno but the end of the earring poked through a whole new hole so I left it as is until I got to work and we just. Pushed the earring through completely to make a new piercing with the earring itself rather than a needle. Weirdly enough I've had zero trouble since then.
I've nearly settled on what I want for a tat -- wide bracelets on my wrists, something geometric and/or mandala like. I'm still sorting through ideas in my head. Definitely going with wide bracelets though. I do have to start doing research on artists so I can start pricing it out. I am also entertaining getting what would be a tat kit for people learning the trade (it says it would tat pig skin which means it will tat human skin). I wouldn't do the bracelets myself, but I am interested in just seeing how it would be like to tat myself. I don't know why, I just want to. My therapist thinks it's funny, but at least she didn't ask if it's a self harm thing which it's not. But not hearing her say that is validating. She did remark that at least it would be safer that what most people do in high school which yes, true (the unique ways teenagers think of how to pierce and tat themselves is truly amazing, but also not safe). But it does point me also to why I am partially interested and loops in with my piercings and tat plans and also my binder -- I didn't get that time of my life to experiment with it all. When most people in high school or in their 20s are doing all of this I was in survival mode and being emotional beaten down (and honestly it's def an abuse tactic my mom did not encourage me to get a part time job or get my license when I was in school; if I had either of those, I would have more freedom away from her). I didn't have time to be free to explore my expression of who I am.
Especially when we were talking about my piercings at work and someone said "your bodies are beautiful as they are!" Which yes. But what if I want to adorn it? What if I want it to match what I feel like? And honestly it's also about bodily autonomy -- I couldn't do any of this when I was in old state because my dad was controlling it in a round about way. I kept my hair long, I presented as feminine, I didn't get any piercings or tats so I wouldn't have to have a lecture from him. Will I keep the piercings forever? Will I always present as someone neither male or female? It doesn't matter! Right now this is me and I am happy.
Speaking of! I got my binder in the mail this past week. *happy dance and noises* It fits it fits it fits. I nearly cried when I put it on I was so happy. It won't be for every day of course, but oh I can't wait for the weather to cool enough that I can wear it under a button down top and vest. I am just a ball of squee every time I think about it.
My cat has finally let me know what's going on with him -- he's Old. I figured it out last weekend when all he did was sit with me. That's all he wanted and that's all he did. I had to cancel my meeting with the rabbi because I knew that the up and down volume of zoom bothers the cat. Since then I was paying more attention and yeah that's it. He's in the end of his time. Which is probably still a year or two out, but it's begun. I've slowly been coming to terms with it, but I am more worried about the vet appointment in October. I think he may have also developed diabetes, but as he is in the end of his life, I do not want to either put down the money for insulin nor do I want to put him through the stress of repeated insulin shots however often I'd have to give them. I don't think the vet will give me grief over that decision, but who knows. I'm probably just borrowing trouble that won't even exist.
I recently switched banks. I had two accounts at two different banks -- I liked having one for bills and that was bank from old state who's nearest branch in new state was an hour and a half away. I also had an account for things like groceries -- it gives me less anxiety knowing that I have no way of accidentally spending bill money on groceries especially the way the price of food keeps fluctuating. But the bank with the spending money grocery got bought out and I've learned in the past from that kind of thing that somehow I loose out. Whether it's that the bank is now a greater drive for me or the fees go up or something. And the other bank -- things just weren't adding up. At first it was random small amounts, like $3 or $4 that I thought well maybe I'm adding wrong though to be honest I couldn't figure out where. But then it was suddenly larger amounts -- once even $20. It wasn't fees, I had all the receipts for where I spent the money, nothing was showing up on my statement. So I had enough when I saw the $20.
I wasn't in a place mentally with my energy that I could devote to this big Adult task, but when I'm missing suddenly $20 then it's time. It took me two separate days off to tackle -- first was just to close out the bank nearest me and open up the new accounts. I went with a credit union and I did the Adult thing by looking at my options. The one I ended up going with requires one have a savings if you're gonna have a checking and you don't automatically get the debit-credit card; you have to sign up for it. Ok cool I want two accounts any way, let's go.
But as the week went on and as I was considering my options I decided ya know what. Maybe it is time I have a separate account for savings. I have enough that I could put aside money each time for it and if it's in a different account it'll be easier for me to keep that money for savings plus that savings account won't have a card attached to it. So Tuesday after the vet tech appointment (for his nail trimming as he is a big grumpy boy who needs two people to cut his nails -- one to hold him and one to cut) where I gave them notes about my cat's health for his actual vet appointment in October I did the drive down to the nearest bank. Which was. A drive. New state is very rural so I managed some of the drive on the highway, but the rest of it is on back roads that meander through mountains. And it was raining >.<
And guess how long it took to close the account? 5 minutes! I drove an hour and a half for something that took 5 minutes. And there wasn't even anything else down there that I wanted to do. Well, maybe, but I am not one for window shopping and right now I don't have anything extra to spend. I mean I could have stopped for yarn, but good yarn is very expensive so. I might make the trip another day if someone else drives, but not on my own.
Anyway went to new bank where I asked about a second checking account and apparently each checking account needs its own savings account Oo Alrighty then. I mean it works out for me because I had been thinking for a while of having a place to store the money for my cat's needs -- vet appointments, his chewy order, etc. So now my cat has his own account lol.
Which means I am managing four accounts which I think sounds like madness to other people, but it works out well for me. I like having things well organized and set and this will help with that. One for bills, one for my groceries or etc, one for savings, one for the cat. And I worked out how much each account will need percentage wise from my pay check so I can enter those percentages into my HR account so my pay will be divided up into the accounts without any effort on my part.
Next month and October will be a bit tight finance wise -- my lease is up for renewal and so is my internet contract and of course both are going up. All told my bills will go up by $75 and the company I work for gives pay raises to everyone at the same time, when their financial year renews in October. I should get a bump up to $18 which would be enough to at least recover the bump in my rent and I can put more toward savings, but there's a rumor going around that the company may try to aim higher to be more competitive for admins to increase retention. I mean if the base rate for my job goes up again, that's a win for me even though I am pretty much retained given how much better off I am than the other jobs I am skilled for -- retail and food service. I've worked out what percentages I will have to adjust for based on the rough figures I ran by looking at what people do make in my job in this state and also nationally. I'm thinking if the company does bump us up to be more competitive, they're gonna aim for a national one. We shall see.
I had my yearly review -- again the company does everyone's review at the same time, no matter when they are hired. Very strange to me, but hey whatever. I was the first to finish my self review which would be hilarious if I hadn't done while we were having our monthly office meeting. I tuned out when they were repeating info on the work flow shift the company is aiming for. Plenty of time to complete the form as it's a very straight forward one. The meeting with my manager for my review didn't take long and I actually was told that I had gotten a tier above the usual one given out so I guess I'm shining through. Yay job security.
New admins hit the ground running and willingly so we're pretty happy with them. I was back in my little office this past week which is such a load off of me and I was able to tackle some tasks I'd fallen behind on and also switch back to the work flow that is easiest for me as well as benefits the providers (e.g. shifting an appointment or two to ease up a double book). I was also able to do a look ahead to what will be needed from the admins to support the providers and nurses. I am so happy.
Mind, I was only in the office two days this week -- I had taken a day for bank and vet, but then I had a migraine that wouldn't quit even with medications so I took Thursday off as a sick day and Friday I was like well maybe (because Monday I also had killer migraine), but I ate breakfast and felt nauseous. So. No, we are not working today, thank you. But as Friday went on I remembered the last time I was having migraines that weren't responding to treatment and it was that time weeks ago when I had a melt down at work. The migraines came first and then the melt down. And my lower back as happened weeks ago has been tight enough that it doesn't want to fully relax. My lower back is where I feel stress usually. I think I did the right time taking the time rather than pushing through it. I've definitely been catching up on sleep and apparently catching up on calories. I'm not surprised though that my body was telling me to chill -- work is in a change up and my personal things have been difficult too. Lots going on, lots to keep an eye on. Of course I needed down time.
This coming week will be a full work week for me, but then the week after we'll be closed Labor Day (Monday) and I took that Friday off too so that'll be a three day work week bracketed by three day weekends. It'll be good. I might go to a state park and do a hike in a fresh space. Maybe finally take a look around the local coop and at least buy some local apples -- to make applesauce or apple crisp, I'm not sure, but something autumn-y.
Today has been good, too. As I said, I've been sleeping and catching up on food so today I managed a full cleaning of the apartment including washing the blankets on the futon and the rug I use for yoga. I also managed a dusting and also shelved books that I'd read and wanted to keep. And it felt like a good solid cleansing cleaning -- airing out the apartment and refreshing it.
I recently applied to some kind of fund from old state that is being granted to people who worked the last few years during the pandemic as an essential worker. I'm nearly sure my job classified as one -- if not as a college bookseller when colleges were operating in full again, but as a food service person. I dunno, we'll find out. If I do get it, I'll be able to get my car fixed. The long ass drive I did Tuesday fried the spark plugs again so I have to replace those, but I will also have to get the tech to replace the hoses that hook up the engine so that it stops loosing air compression. I also need to replace the steering pump and as I found out today a new oil container/tank/thing - I thought the engine was going through a lot of oil because the pistons were working harder due to the lost compression, but I lost the oil cap as I was putting it back on and as I was looking for it under the car, what was dripping but oil >.< I think altogether the fund grant should be enough to cover all the parts and labor time. It depends on how expensive the oil thing will be as I have a rough idea of how much labor will cost at the garage and I know definitely how expensive the steering pump will be.
I was talking to my therapist about the car and dad - I knew there was something wrong with the compression when he first got me the car, but he didn't understand what I was talking about and so he dismissed me. And I told him years ago that the steering pump was going, but again he waved it off. He knew both of these issues when he had my car last October when the doors needed replacing from the accident and he didn't do anything. My therapist and I both agree that dad and his attitude toward what I knew was wrong was a form of emotional abuse, but then also him not replacing any of it when he had a for a fucking week or even asking the garage to fix it... If I had kept in touch with him, there would have definitely been a comment along the lines of "you moved, you said you would handle the car repairs on your own now..." Argh.
Anyway. Longer than I expected to write, but hey things are going on. I do hate Adulting when I have to do a bunch of it at once, but at least I'm nearly done with this batch.
I've caught up on all the entries, but maybe I missed something or maybe you haven't been posting. How's everyone?