Fic - Schematics Ch 1
Title: Schematics Ch 1
Fandom: Iron Man
Summary: One day, Tony decides that he's in love with Pepper, and that it's about time he did something about it.
Rating: G for now, I guess. (I wouldn't expect it to get any higher than PG-13)
Pairing: Tony/Pepper
Length: 875
Disclaimer: Iron Man (and all related characters, etc.) belong to Marvel, etc.
Notes: Movie-verse, unbeta-ed, cracktastic joy.
One day, Tony decides that he’s in love with Pepper, and that it’s about time he did something about it.
So he goes down to his basement and asks Jarvis to open a new project folder.
Before he starts designing plans and running simulations, however, he realises that despite his no doubt impressive natural prowess, he might need some more information about how courting for more than one night works. Just as he needs to know what the properties of certain materials and the laws of physics are before he bends them, he figures he needs to know what the rules are in the love game when he starts playing for keeps.
The question now is one of source; just where is he going to go looking for advice on how to go about this? Jarvis isn’t going to have anything like it in his database, and Tony will never have enough self-respect to waste on resorting to self-help books. But what does that leave him?
Rhodey’s had a few long term girlfriends, he thinks suddenly. This is, he admits, not all that impressive in the long run, but it’s still more relationship experience than Tony’s had in his endless progression of one-night stands. So Tony decides to ask him for advice.
He drops in to the army base the next day.
“Rhodey! Flesh of my flesh! Blood of my blood! I need your advice,” he declares, strolling into James’ office casually. James’ expression suggests that he is expecting nothing less than an epic disaster.
“Say you really love a woman,” Tony continues unheedingly. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to you! But the problem is, she doesn’t know it. How would you win her over, get her to marry you, or really, just go out to dinner with you?”
There is silence as Tony looks at Rhodey expectantly and Rhodey looks back blankly.
“Is this a trick question?” he asks finally, looking at Tony suspiciously. Tony is wounded, he really, truly is. He even says so.
“Rhodey, you astound me! Where is the trust? We’ve been friends for how many years-how could you think such a thing of me?”
Rhodes’ bland look speaks volumes.
“I honestly do want to know,” Tony says quickly. Rhodes has an air of just trying to humour the crazy person (which Tony resents, because, really, that was just uncalled for), sighs resignedly, and gives in.
“I guess I’d just tell her the truth?” he ventures, shrugging. “That I really love her, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I want her to know? And then I suppose I’d ask her to marry me, or date me or go out to dinner. Usually, though, declarations of undying love come before proposals, and not just dinner date invitations.”
There is a pause.
“And this has worked for you?” Tony asks sceptically.
“Um, yes?”
“Right.” Tony’s not entirely sure about the soundness of this plan, but hey, Rhodey’s the one with the experience, not him. “Must be off, then. Got, you know, interviews to attend, innocents to save, machines to invent, that sort of thing.”
“Why did you want to know?” Rhodes asks him as he reaches the door.
“Oh, no reason, no reason!” Tony says airily, giving Rhodey a wave over his shoulder as he opens the door and walks through it.
“Tony-“ Rhodes is cut off by the sound of the door closing. He shakes his head and goes back to his report-writing.
Not wanting to waste any time, Tony decides to try Rhodey’s method that afternoon.
“Miss Potts!” he declares, stepping into her office. She looks up from her desk.
“Mr Stark?”
“I love you, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I want to grow old with you and have you bear my 12 children,” he says without preamble. “What I would like best is if you would marry me, but for now I would settle for dinner tonight.”
Pepper appears to have been rendered completely speechless. For a moment, Tony thinks that maybe this will work after all.
“Mr Stark,” she says finally, having found both her voice and her composure. “I’m not going to ask what you were hoping to achieve by doing this, but it doesn’t change the fact that you have a video conference scheduled in approximately five minutes, which you should already be in your office preparing for.”
“Is it the number of children? Do you think 12 is too many?” he wonders aloud. “Because I promise you, I’d be able to support both you and them in at least comfort, if not luxury.”
“Yes, yes, the number of children, that’s exactly it,” she agrees placidly.
“You’re mocking me,” he says accusingly.
“Oh no, Mr Stark,” she assures him. “Anything above six would be extremely damaging to my figure. And any more time spent here is going to make you late for that video conference.”
Tony sighs dramatically and turns to leave. Clearly Rhodey didn’t know what he was doing. Honestly, no wonder he hadn’t been able to hold onto a girl to date. Perhaps Tony was going to have to give him some tips, after he’d worked out how to do this himself.
To be continued.
(hopefully)
Fandom: Iron Man
Summary: One day, Tony decides that he's in love with Pepper, and that it's about time he did something about it.
Rating: G for now, I guess. (I wouldn't expect it to get any higher than PG-13)
Pairing: Tony/Pepper
Length: 875
Disclaimer: Iron Man (and all related characters, etc.) belong to Marvel, etc.
Notes: Movie-verse, unbeta-ed, cracktastic joy.
One day, Tony decides that he’s in love with Pepper, and that it’s about time he did something about it.
So he goes down to his basement and asks Jarvis to open a new project folder.
Before he starts designing plans and running simulations, however, he realises that despite his no doubt impressive natural prowess, he might need some more information about how courting for more than one night works. Just as he needs to know what the properties of certain materials and the laws of physics are before he bends them, he figures he needs to know what the rules are in the love game when he starts playing for keeps.
The question now is one of source; just where is he going to go looking for advice on how to go about this? Jarvis isn’t going to have anything like it in his database, and Tony will never have enough self-respect to waste on resorting to self-help books. But what does that leave him?
Rhodey’s had a few long term girlfriends, he thinks suddenly. This is, he admits, not all that impressive in the long run, but it’s still more relationship experience than Tony’s had in his endless progression of one-night stands. So Tony decides to ask him for advice.
He drops in to the army base the next day.
“Rhodey! Flesh of my flesh! Blood of my blood! I need your advice,” he declares, strolling into James’ office casually. James’ expression suggests that he is expecting nothing less than an epic disaster.
“Say you really love a woman,” Tony continues unheedingly. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to you! But the problem is, she doesn’t know it. How would you win her over, get her to marry you, or really, just go out to dinner with you?”
There is silence as Tony looks at Rhodey expectantly and Rhodey looks back blankly.
“Is this a trick question?” he asks finally, looking at Tony suspiciously. Tony is wounded, he really, truly is. He even says so.
“Rhodey, you astound me! Where is the trust? We’ve been friends for how many years-how could you think such a thing of me?”
Rhodes’ bland look speaks volumes.
“I honestly do want to know,” Tony says quickly. Rhodes has an air of just trying to humour the crazy person (which Tony resents, because, really, that was just uncalled for), sighs resignedly, and gives in.
“I guess I’d just tell her the truth?” he ventures, shrugging. “That I really love her, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I want her to know? And then I suppose I’d ask her to marry me, or date me or go out to dinner. Usually, though, declarations of undying love come before proposals, and not just dinner date invitations.”
There is a pause.
“And this has worked for you?” Tony asks sceptically.
“Um, yes?”
“Right.” Tony’s not entirely sure about the soundness of this plan, but hey, Rhodey’s the one with the experience, not him. “Must be off, then. Got, you know, interviews to attend, innocents to save, machines to invent, that sort of thing.”
“Why did you want to know?” Rhodes asks him as he reaches the door.
“Oh, no reason, no reason!” Tony says airily, giving Rhodey a wave over his shoulder as he opens the door and walks through it.
“Tony-“ Rhodes is cut off by the sound of the door closing. He shakes his head and goes back to his report-writing.
Not wanting to waste any time, Tony decides to try Rhodey’s method that afternoon.
“Miss Potts!” he declares, stepping into her office. She looks up from her desk.
“Mr Stark?”
“I love you, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I want to grow old with you and have you bear my 12 children,” he says without preamble. “What I would like best is if you would marry me, but for now I would settle for dinner tonight.”
Pepper appears to have been rendered completely speechless. For a moment, Tony thinks that maybe this will work after all.
“Mr Stark,” she says finally, having found both her voice and her composure. “I’m not going to ask what you were hoping to achieve by doing this, but it doesn’t change the fact that you have a video conference scheduled in approximately five minutes, which you should already be in your office preparing for.”
“Is it the number of children? Do you think 12 is too many?” he wonders aloud. “Because I promise you, I’d be able to support both you and them in at least comfort, if not luxury.”
“Yes, yes, the number of children, that’s exactly it,” she agrees placidly.
“You’re mocking me,” he says accusingly.
“Oh no, Mr Stark,” she assures him. “Anything above six would be extremely damaging to my figure. And any more time spent here is going to make you late for that video conference.”
Tony sighs dramatically and turns to leave. Clearly Rhodey didn’t know what he was doing. Honestly, no wonder he hadn’t been able to hold onto a girl to date. Perhaps Tony was going to have to give him some tips, after he’d worked out how to do this himself.
To be continued.
(hopefully)