Fat
I've joined a crusade. And since it affects how I think about myself and other people, it affects my sex life at least tangentially.
The crusade? Fat acceptance.
Why? Because I'm fat. I'm 6 feet tall, 245 pounds (or so, it's been a while since I weighed myself), a size 20 pants and a 16 top, and a BMI of 33.
Some people look at me and say (or have looked at me and say later) that I'm not fat. My response? "Honey, when I have to shop in specialty stores and the plus size sections of regular stores, I'm fat."
Fat is merely a descriptive word. Fat is not derogatory. Fat is just like saying tall. I'm tall, I'm pinkish, I have reddish hair, I'm fat, I have big breasts.
I like my body. I'm happy in this body. Have I ever wished to be thin? Hell yes. Do I still wish to be thin? Every now and then, yes.
Every day we get pounded with messages saying that thin is beautiful, that thin is the only beautiful, that cellulite is something to be rid of, that excess pounds should be shed at any cost. Hundreds of diets try to sell their books, their pills, their food.
Did you know that 95% of diets fail? That's why there are so many fucking diets out there.
Did you know that bodies have a weight they naturally want to stabilize at? True. There was a study done on men in prison. The studiers were trying to make the men gain weight. Some men had to eat nearly 10,000 calories a day to gain weight. The men's metabolism sped up to try to keep their bodies at the ideal weight--the ideal weight according to the body. The rest of that article is interesting, as well; the first part talks about fat people who lost an average of 100 pounds and gained it back, and the latter part talks about how adopted kids are as fat as their biological parents.
Did you know that most diets put the dieter into starvation mode? The previous article talks about that, how the fat people put on diets of 600 calories a day exhibited starvation behaviour--hording food, thinking constantly about food, binging. This article on the blog Junkfood Science talks about the starvation mentality. "People," Ms. Szwarc writes, "people, regardless of their size, who believe they have “overeating” issues are most often exhibiting completely normal, natural biological responses to starvation, hunger and weight loss - in developed countries, that means voluntary starvation, otherwise called dieting." The Minnesota Experiment wanted to figure out how best to feed people in war-torn Europe, how to bring starving people back to full health. Forty men participated in the study. They were put on 1,600 calorie diets--more than some diets today allow--to simulate what Europeans were eating. Physically, [t]he men’s resting metabolic rates declined by 40%, their heart volume shrank about 20%, their pulses slowed and their body temperatures dropped. They complained of feeling cold, tired and hungry; having trouble concentrating; of impaired judgment and comprehension; dizzy spells; visual disturbances; ringing in their ears; tingling and numbing of their extremities; stomach aches, body aches and headaches; trouble sleeping; hair thinning; and their skin growing dry and thin. Their sexual function and testes size were reduced and they lost all interest in sex. They had every physical indication of accelerated aging. [emphasis mine]
The psychological effects are even scarier:The men became nervous, anxious, apathetic, withdrawn, impatient, self-critical with distorted body images and even feeling overweight, moody, emotional and depressed. A few even mutilated themselves, one chopping off three fingers in stress. They lost their ambition and feelings of adequacy, and their cultural and academic interests narrowed. They neglected their appearance, became loners and their social and family relationships suffered. They lost their senses of humor, love and compassion. Instead, they became obsessed with food, thinking, talking and reading about it constantly; developed weird eating rituals; began hoarding things; consumed vast amounts of coffee and tea; and chewed gum incessantly (as many as 40 packages a day). Binge eating episodes also became a problem as some of the men were unable to continue to restrict their eating in their hunger. [emphasis mine]
In short, the men were starving, and food became the focus of their lives.
I've thrown out diets. I eat what I feel like eating, whether it's a Snickers or salmon or a steak or rum or broccoli. I don't worry about numbers. 250, 2500, 33, 18. They're just arbitrary numbers. Do they affect my life? No. Do I think about them? Not very often. Usually only on occasions like this one.
I love my body. I'd love it if it was 100 pounds heavier or 100 pounds lighter. I don't think, based on the two articles I linked to above, that I'll ever reach 150 or 350. I'll probably hover right around 250 for most of my life. And I'm okay with that. My body is padded in all the right places. I'm able to warm N. up because my fat holds in heat. I have nice breasts because I'm fat. My thighs are padded enough to use as pillows.
What I'm advocating is accepting your body as it is. I'm advocating no worries about diets or food. I'm advocating the belief that everyone of every size is beautiful. I'm advocating acceptance of others no matter their size--this means not hating the skinny ones, and not making slanderous remarks about the fat ones.
What does this mean in real life? I'll call you on your hurtful comments about fat people. I'll walk away rather than listen. I won't congratulate you on your weight loss. I don't care if you think I've lost weight, and if you comment on it, I'll say, "Okay" (I won't be offended; it just doesn't matter). I won't be offended if you use fat as a descriptive word. I won't judge you if you're on a diet, but I'm not going to help you bash your body. I'll order dessert when I'm not stuffed full of the entree. I'll put a little (or a lot) extra chocolate syrup on my ice cream. I won't think about how fat my food will make me. I'll eat what I like. Food or food control will not be my part-time job.
I'll step off my soapbox now.
The crusade? Fat acceptance.
Why? Because I'm fat. I'm 6 feet tall, 245 pounds (or so, it's been a while since I weighed myself), a size 20 pants and a 16 top, and a BMI of 33.
Some people look at me and say (or have looked at me and say later) that I'm not fat. My response? "Honey, when I have to shop in specialty stores and the plus size sections of regular stores, I'm fat."
Fat is merely a descriptive word. Fat is not derogatory. Fat is just like saying tall. I'm tall, I'm pinkish, I have reddish hair, I'm fat, I have big breasts.
I like my body. I'm happy in this body. Have I ever wished to be thin? Hell yes. Do I still wish to be thin? Every now and then, yes.
Every day we get pounded with messages saying that thin is beautiful, that thin is the only beautiful, that cellulite is something to be rid of, that excess pounds should be shed at any cost. Hundreds of diets try to sell their books, their pills, their food.
Did you know that 95% of diets fail? That's why there are so many fucking diets out there.
Did you know that bodies have a weight they naturally want to stabilize at? True. There was a study done on men in prison. The studiers were trying to make the men gain weight. Some men had to eat nearly 10,000 calories a day to gain weight. The men's metabolism sped up to try to keep their bodies at the ideal weight--the ideal weight according to the body. The rest of that article is interesting, as well; the first part talks about fat people who lost an average of 100 pounds and gained it back, and the latter part talks about how adopted kids are as fat as their biological parents.
Did you know that most diets put the dieter into starvation mode? The previous article talks about that, how the fat people put on diets of 600 calories a day exhibited starvation behaviour--hording food, thinking constantly about food, binging. This article on the blog Junkfood Science talks about the starvation mentality. "People," Ms. Szwarc writes, "people, regardless of their size, who believe they have “overeating” issues are most often exhibiting completely normal, natural biological responses to starvation, hunger and weight loss - in developed countries, that means voluntary starvation, otherwise called dieting." The Minnesota Experiment wanted to figure out how best to feed people in war-torn Europe, how to bring starving people back to full health. Forty men participated in the study. They were put on 1,600 calorie diets--more than some diets today allow--to simulate what Europeans were eating. Physically, [t]he men’s resting metabolic rates declined by 40%, their heart volume shrank about 20%, their pulses slowed and their body temperatures dropped. They complained of feeling cold, tired and hungry; having trouble concentrating; of impaired judgment and comprehension; dizzy spells; visual disturbances; ringing in their ears; tingling and numbing of their extremities; stomach aches, body aches and headaches; trouble sleeping; hair thinning; and their skin growing dry and thin. Their sexual function and testes size were reduced and they lost all interest in sex. They had every physical indication of accelerated aging. [emphasis mine]
The psychological effects are even scarier:The men became nervous, anxious, apathetic, withdrawn, impatient, self-critical with distorted body images and even feeling overweight, moody, emotional and depressed. A few even mutilated themselves, one chopping off three fingers in stress. They lost their ambition and feelings of adequacy, and their cultural and academic interests narrowed. They neglected their appearance, became loners and their social and family relationships suffered. They lost their senses of humor, love and compassion. Instead, they became obsessed with food, thinking, talking and reading about it constantly; developed weird eating rituals; began hoarding things; consumed vast amounts of coffee and tea; and chewed gum incessantly (as many as 40 packages a day). Binge eating episodes also became a problem as some of the men were unable to continue to restrict their eating in their hunger. [emphasis mine]
In short, the men were starving, and food became the focus of their lives.
I've thrown out diets. I eat what I feel like eating, whether it's a Snickers or salmon or a steak or rum or broccoli. I don't worry about numbers. 250, 2500, 33, 18. They're just arbitrary numbers. Do they affect my life? No. Do I think about them? Not very often. Usually only on occasions like this one.
I love my body. I'd love it if it was 100 pounds heavier or 100 pounds lighter. I don't think, based on the two articles I linked to above, that I'll ever reach 150 or 350. I'll probably hover right around 250 for most of my life. And I'm okay with that. My body is padded in all the right places. I'm able to warm N. up because my fat holds in heat. I have nice breasts because I'm fat. My thighs are padded enough to use as pillows.
What I'm advocating is accepting your body as it is. I'm advocating no worries about diets or food. I'm advocating the belief that everyone of every size is beautiful. I'm advocating acceptance of others no matter their size--this means not hating the skinny ones, and not making slanderous remarks about the fat ones.
What does this mean in real life? I'll call you on your hurtful comments about fat people. I'll walk away rather than listen. I won't congratulate you on your weight loss. I don't care if you think I've lost weight, and if you comment on it, I'll say, "Okay" (I won't be offended; it just doesn't matter). I won't be offended if you use fat as a descriptive word. I won't judge you if you're on a diet, but I'm not going to help you bash your body. I'll order dessert when I'm not stuffed full of the entree. I'll put a little (or a lot) extra chocolate syrup on my ice cream. I won't think about how fat my food will make me. I'll eat what I like. Food or food control will not be my part-time job.
I'll step off my soapbox now.