Batman smells
How does one navigate and negotiate sexual desires and boundaries? If you are mostly compatible with a guy but he is into certain things you don’t enjoy, how do you talk about it without offending him? Condoms are easy to discuss because the topic has become so mainstream and we grew up with it as part of the conversation. Safe sex, barebacking, now PrEP. They are shown in the profile, as up front and public as someone’s gender, race, sexuality in most contexts. But once you go one level deeper, if someone wants to lick their taint (and refers to it as a “taint,” cognate “tainted”), things quickly become more complicated. Now all of a sudden lines are drawn on what you feel comfortable discussing and doing and what you don’t. This is the negotiation now, the risk is that it can break down and you could lose interest in each other, despite all the other things you have in common. The boredom, loneliness, horniness. Appreciation of hairyness. Chill car rides with scruff. Is this a case of not throwing the baby out with the bath water? Or a deal breaker? A friendship not yet formed. Gelling.