(no subject)
If I got a call this evening from someone in the LA office asking me to move back, I would say yes. Driving the Bay Bridge on the way back from Reno, I did not want to be back. The last two days away from SF, I felt happier than I do in SF. This marks the first time I seriously considered moving away. Mostly it has to do with Ma, a friend who has burrowed and pushed his way into my life and thoughts after being blissfully absent from them for 8-10 years. I know it must seem silly to move away from an entire city just because of one person. Yes. Maybe it is.
This doesn't mean I miss LA. I do miss LA, but that's not what I am trying to say at this time. My move to LA wouldn't be like, oh I miss LA, it's perfect and so much better than SF, blah blah blah. No, actually I know all of LA's faults and benefits. I wouldn't be blithe or naive about it. It's more like I KNOW LA and its faults, I understand it and operate on its wavelength. Funny, I remember I said the same things about SF. Every trip to SF I was so happy and felt SF understood me so much better than LA, so much so that when I came back to LA I felt I was descending from a cloud of euphoria. I felt SF understood me on a deep level and LA had no idea who I was or what I wanted out of life. So here we are, another crossroads. I will "deal" with it by avoiding the issue and hiding from Ma and of course not sharing my true sentiment with my coworkers. God forbid.
Anyway, off to print the disclosures for a condo I really want in Daly City. People died there by horse-playing and falling off the balcony to their death. But this is densely populated San Francisco. People are living and dying all over the place everyday on every open ledge and corner. Up on the windswept hill just outside the city limits, if anything, this type of gory detail adds to the place's character. Perched on the hill overlooking the city, I can look down on my kingdom.