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Not sure how well this app. Will work bujt figured id post something while its on my mind.
I just got thinking of something similar i was talking about in regards to no one ever leaving us alone or the fact it didnt seem like it was going to stop anytime unless we officially split. I say that because we have been seperated anyways and it seemed like everyone was still looking for a slip up on ashley or anything in general...even as little as a joke. Also, the fact more and more people kept finding out and giving us their "input".
What annoyed me the most out of it all...they all felt it was okay to badmout ashley or gave me an opinion that was sometimes being a sneaky way of saying, to leave her. Even if i disagreed, they felt they had the right to start an argument of why im wrong and what -I- should be doing, more or less what they would do. It pissed me off, it was like since i talked about it or whatever or said something they disagreed with...it gave them access to do whatever they wanted in our marriage...as if they owned the right to split us up or attempt too.
Im finding it quite hard at the moment to folrgive anyone who did this and really finding it difficult to even acknowledge them at all. They probably think its all better but i dont think they realize what kind of image i have of them and to constantly think if they are apart of my life, they wont stop if i do something they dont find is right for me. Sure, i talk to them somewhat still but i think its cause our divorce isnt final yet. Hasnt quite hit me that its over to really do a change like that in my life.
Honestly, i dont know what I'll do in regards to everyone who i felt did my marriage wrong. Thats something that will have to be decided soon as that is something that is constantly on my mind but i do know i need a fresh start in my life and having them apart of it isnt really fresh in my eyes.
Anyways, on a last note besides all of the above. I feel quite confident that once i get all these bills paid off that i will be resuming my membership back at snaps fitness to get in shape. I've lost over 17lbs since working at meijers, roughly 154 right now and i think at this point its getting my body fat down a tad more then get into a visible shape for myself. I'd also like to do it for ashley, not to try to become a better looking person for her but because i want to show her even if we dont get back together that i can do things if i put my mind to it.
Also, i think itd help me out personally to get in shape...be proud of how i look and not ashamed as i feel now. I know i look fine, but i cant even take a picture of myself and like it cause i judge myself so badly. Thats about all though...just got a few things at the moment to weed out and improve upon in my life, step by step.
Posted via LjBeetle
I just got thinking of something similar i was talking about in regards to no one ever leaving us alone or the fact it didnt seem like it was going to stop anytime unless we officially split. I say that because we have been seperated anyways and it seemed like everyone was still looking for a slip up on ashley or anything in general...even as little as a joke. Also, the fact more and more people kept finding out and giving us their "input".
What annoyed me the most out of it all...they all felt it was okay to badmout ashley or gave me an opinion that was sometimes being a sneaky way of saying, to leave her. Even if i disagreed, they felt they had the right to start an argument of why im wrong and what -I- should be doing, more or less what they would do. It pissed me off, it was like since i talked about it or whatever or said something they disagreed with...it gave them access to do whatever they wanted in our marriage...as if they owned the right to split us up or attempt too.
Im finding it quite hard at the moment to folrgive anyone who did this and really finding it difficult to even acknowledge them at all. They probably think its all better but i dont think they realize what kind of image i have of them and to constantly think if they are apart of my life, they wont stop if i do something they dont find is right for me. Sure, i talk to them somewhat still but i think its cause our divorce isnt final yet. Hasnt quite hit me that its over to really do a change like that in my life.
Honestly, i dont know what I'll do in regards to everyone who i felt did my marriage wrong. Thats something that will have to be decided soon as that is something that is constantly on my mind but i do know i need a fresh start in my life and having them apart of it isnt really fresh in my eyes.
Anyways, on a last note besides all of the above. I feel quite confident that once i get all these bills paid off that i will be resuming my membership back at snaps fitness to get in shape. I've lost over 17lbs since working at meijers, roughly 154 right now and i think at this point its getting my body fat down a tad more then get into a visible shape for myself. I'd also like to do it for ashley, not to try to become a better looking person for her but because i want to show her even if we dont get back together that i can do things if i put my mind to it.
Also, i think itd help me out personally to get in shape...be proud of how i look and not ashamed as i feel now. I know i look fine, but i cant even take a picture of myself and like it cause i judge myself so badly. Thats about all though...just got a few things at the moment to weed out and improve upon in my life, step by step.
Posted via LjBeetle