Sick
Am I ever going to feel better. It is to the point where I am just like GAHHHHHHHHHHH. It hurts to dough, it hurts to breathe deeply. I think something more is wrong but feel that there slo isn't anything more wrong.
Math was interesting today. It taught me that all of my complaining is truly empty. I have no real complaints I just want to be heard. Math is not as hard as I make it out to be, but yet it is.
I have no clue about things any more, I think I am going through that change. The change Mr. Eeells talked about. The change that makes a little perverted freshamn become a less perverted, girl-liking, sophmore. It is happening a bit late, but it is happening. I can feel myself drawing away from my peers and wanting to hang out with older kids. 2 years mind you, but they are still older. Gone are the days that are filled with potty humor(not yet but I am working on it). Here to stay are the days of work and tedium. Thus begins the life of a 16 year-old American. NOT. Most kids my age have not a care. But I care. I want college, I want a job, I want responsibility. But at the same time I don't. I want to stay mommy's little boy and suck my thumb and have not a care. But life isn't so. I want to amount to something, I want to best my father, I want to prove to them that everything has not been for waste. I am not a screw-up, far from it(no one has called me this, mind you, I am just saying it). I will amount to something, but not by slacking like my body yerns to.
I am 15, damn near 16, why am I worried about college? Becasue I have to be. I am nearing the time when I must have the shit tested out of me to get into an MIT, a Harvard, a Princeton, a Yale. Dream schools for some but I feel I can achieve. eeels has egged me on with his own encouragment, it is sublte, but I see it. He told me that if I work like I am, keep my 4.0, apply for every damn scholarship I can find, I might be able to achieve my goals. And that means that I will strive for nothing but excellence.
Math was interesting today. It taught me that all of my complaining is truly empty. I have no real complaints I just want to be heard. Math is not as hard as I make it out to be, but yet it is.
I have no clue about things any more, I think I am going through that change. The change Mr. Eeells talked about. The change that makes a little perverted freshamn become a less perverted, girl-liking, sophmore. It is happening a bit late, but it is happening. I can feel myself drawing away from my peers and wanting to hang out with older kids. 2 years mind you, but they are still older. Gone are the days that are filled with potty humor(not yet but I am working on it). Here to stay are the days of work and tedium. Thus begins the life of a 16 year-old American. NOT. Most kids my age have not a care. But I care. I want college, I want a job, I want responsibility. But at the same time I don't. I want to stay mommy's little boy and suck my thumb and have not a care. But life isn't so. I want to amount to something, I want to best my father, I want to prove to them that everything has not been for waste. I am not a screw-up, far from it(no one has called me this, mind you, I am just saying it). I will amount to something, but not by slacking like my body yerns to.
I am 15, damn near 16, why am I worried about college? Becasue I have to be. I am nearing the time when I must have the shit tested out of me to get into an MIT, a Harvard, a Princeton, a Yale. Dream schools for some but I feel I can achieve. eeels has egged me on with his own encouragment, it is sublte, but I see it. He told me that if I work like I am, keep my 4.0, apply for every damn scholarship I can find, I might be able to achieve my goals. And that means that I will strive for nothing but excellence.