It's been 8 weeks, so how about a post about me? A little auto-biography essay starring my closet.
So earlier today I re-found the comfort that shutting myself in my closet, while listening to music, gives me.
Let me explain:
Back at my old house, when I moved into my sister's old room, I would climb up the selves and lieon the top rack thing. Everything was wood and painted white, after my siblings moved out the closet was practically empty. It had two folding/sliding doors and the rest was pretty open. After some time I tacked a blanket down, brought a pillow, and even taped pictures up in there, and I would go and retrete there when I needed to get away from what ever was bothering me. It really helped me get through a lot of crap I went through in middle school. I would just climb up, lie down, blast some music and read, write, or just sit up there for hours.
Then we moved.
To go to the high school that I wanted to go to, and due to other factors, we built a new house on some property that my parents have owned for a while, and this is where I live now. Since we moved I haven't even thought to sit in a closet at all (aside from haunted houses) for anything what-so-ever until recently. I've been wanting the comfort of four walls tight around me- some people are freaked out by it, but I like the security and closure that it gives you. It makes you feel like no one else is there, and helps you get away from the world if you want; it lets you think about what you need to think about without anything else getting in the way.
Something has happened lately that's causing us all some stress, tears, and heart-ache. For those of you who don't know, someone very dear to me and my friends has been diagnosed with stomach cancer. Just a little while ago the doctors informed us that there is nothing more they can do, and that he has weeks to a few months to live. So today I decided that I really needed sometime to just get away and chill out for a while. I started out on the bed, all the lights out, ear phones in, and girugamesh playing. I shifted positions a few times, but nothing really worked. Then I moved to the floor by my bed- leaned against a big pillow against the wall and the side of the bed, stayed there for a while. Finally, I figured I'd try the closet- I had no idea why, but again I knew that I wanted to feel those four walls like a box.
After sitting there in the dark, nothing around me (but clothes, music, and Jamie's random messages), for a few minutes I started to remember the closet I had back at the old house. I remembered the comfort, peace, and calmness that came away with it.
I also realized how much has changed in such a short time. Just a few years ago I was in middle school- such a horrible time really, and then I met some really amazing people, and then some more amzing people through them. And here I am today, only a month away from my last year in High school, with the best friends anyone could ever ask for- even if they're all idiots and spread around the whole world.
I know it's strange how all this came from just sitting in a dark closet, on a mound of clothes and shoes, with music, and one of those amazing friends killing my phone bill, but somehow it did.
So that's all for tonight; a little about me and my closet days. xD