fic: Looking Forward (SVU)
Title: Looking Forward
Fandom: SVU
Characters/Pairings: Liz Donnelly, Casey Novak (post Liz/Casey)
Word Count: 1834
Rating: PG
A/N: This has been sitting around on my hard drive for months. I've never really been happy with this but decided to just finish it off and post it anyway so I can get it out of the way.
Seven years had passed and yet somehow she felt the emptiness in her heart like it was only just last week. That wasn’t exactly true though. She had felt empty for a long time, but slowly she cut that section off and had managed to not dwell on it for quite a while now. There had been others of course; some playthings, a few attempts at a relationship. None had made her smile in quite the same way, but then she supposed that was to be expected.
She had been just leaving work when her cell rang, completely unprepared for the voice on the other end of the line. That was two hours ago, and she certainly wasn’t any better prepared to have the owner of that voice approaching her from across the restaurant. “Casey,” she breathed softly, then stood and smiled a little. “Casey,” she repeated audibly. “How are you?” A kiss to the cheek, as was expected, then they both took their seats.
”Hello Elizabeth,” she said with a warm smile. “You look well.”
Seven years had done her the world of good. Maybe it was leaving New York. Maybe it was leaving Liz. The blonde didn’t want to put too much energy in to that train of thought. She looked at Casey carefully and smiled to herself a little. She had learned the value of a good tailored suit from Liz, and the lesson seemed to have stuck. “You look stunning,” she replied by way of acknowledging the compliment. “What brings you back?” Small talk was easy for the moment. It gave her time to observe her former partner until she was able to sort out her own emotions.
”A conference,” came the reply. “It’s not been my first visit,” she admitted.
Liz simply nodded. Of course it wasn’t. While the revelation came as no surprise to her, it still stung just a little. “And what is it that you do for work these days?” Clearly something that made her enough money to afford the suits. She hadn’t touched the money in the account Liz had left for her. Call it a guilt payment. ‘Here, have a ridiculous amount of money as a way of apology. I didn’t mean for you to get disbarred.’
“Charity work.” Liz’s face must have shown her disbelief, because she continued. “The suit comes out for conferences and benefits. Whenever I am trying to convince people to hand over large sums of cash,” she said with a devious smile.
For the first time that night, Liz smiled genuinely. That smile - that was her Casey. “And were you successful?”
“They don’t fly me across the country unless I can virtually guarantee them a sudden surge in their bank accounts,” she said with a small wink. Liz saw her looking around and caught a look - longing? - as it flashed across her soft features before disappearing as quickly as it came. “And you? I believe congratulations are in order. I read you have been appointed to the state supreme court.”
Liz nodded slightly and gave her another small smile. “I start in two weeks,” she replied.
The waiter offered a break in the conversation and they both placed their orders, a gin & tonic for Liz and a whiskey sour for Casey. Some things never change. They ordered a light meal each and soon enough they were left to their conversation.
”Why now?” The blonde asked.
“I wasn’t ready before,” Casey replied simply. She looked so much more confident. The arrogance of youth seemed to have faded and she looked like a woman who had found her place in the world, and that place wasn’t at Liz’s feet.
“What changed?”
“Ellie,” she said, her face lighting up even though her muscles had barely moved an inch.
Yet another revelation that didn’t surprise, but still stung. She was a beautiful, seemingly successful, intelligent, vivacious woman. There was no reason for her not to have found someone else. She frowned as Casey rummaged through her purse and pulled out a photo. She didn’t particularly need to see a photo of the new woman in Casey’s life. When Casey passed it over she glanced down and her eyes widened slightly. Grinning back at her was a toothy, flame-haired little toddler. “Oh!” she said with surprise as she looked up at Casey.
The redhead chuckled and took a sip of the drink that had just been delivered. “Indeed,” she said with a bright smile. “She’s just turned three.”
”She is the spitting image of you,” Liz said, inspecting the photo closely. “Maybe a slightly rounder face.” She looked up at Casey again. “And the father?”
”I moved across the country, Liz, I didn’t suddenly turn straight,” she said with a frown. “I used donor sperm. And no, there isn’t another mother either.”
She hid the smile that last statement brought forth. “She’s beautiful,” she said honestly. Liz didn’t miss the pride in Casey’s eyes. “Where is she now?”
“At home. She’s staying with a friend who has a girl the same age.”
The blonde nodded and handed back the photo. “You always wanted a daughter.”
”I did,” she replied with a content smile. It was left unspoken that they had had several heated conversations over the subject, and Liz had always blatantly refused to consider it.
The silence that settled over them was about as uncomfortable as could be expected and Liz took a slow sip of her drink. “I’m sorry,” she said eventually. “That was the last thing I expected to happen to you.”
“It was seven years ago, Liz,” she said, automatically ushering it away.
“And it was still the wrong choice, which I’ve never had the opportunity to apologise for,” she replied. “I know you, Casey. I know exactly what we had. You would never have left like that if I weren’t such a tremendous asshole.”
The redhead chuckled lightly and placed her glass down on the table. “Yes, you were a tremendous asshole. You destroyed my career.” Liz felt Casey scrutinizing her as she gathered her thoughts “You also broke my heart and it stayed that way...until I had Ellie.” The blonde knew that wasn’t the end of it. “Who fixed yours?” And there it was.
”What makes you assume it needed fixing?” Casey had never been subtle. In fact, she had been downright blunt on more than one occasion, so Liz knew this was coming, but the days of being emotionally open to Casey were over.
”Liz…”
“Yes?”
”You know me,” she started and Liz couldn’t help but smile a little. They had always used each other’s words to get what they wanted. “Just as I know you.”
Liz closed her eyes for the briefest moment and nodded. “There have been a few people over the years. None quite matched up to…well…you. And you?”
”No one has ever tried to put me on my knees,” she said almost wistfully.
“Would it be inappropriate to say I’m glad?” Liz asked with a small smile.
”Entirely. But I would be disappointed not to hear it,” Casey replied with a smile of her own. “Do you have some time off before you start your new position?”
“My last day was today, why?” she asked, eyebrow just slightly raised.
“Come back to California with me for a few days. I have a guest room that is at the opposite end of the house to Ellie’s room so you won’t be woken up at six am. It would be nice to just spend some time with you again. I’ve missed you.”
Liz thought about it for a long moment and when the waiter approached with their bill she laid her card down out of habit. “I’m not sure that is a good idea, Casey.”
She saw the disappointment in Casey’s eyes and she felt instantly guilty. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint her further. She was relieved when Casey’s face took on a mock admonishing look. “I’m not asking for sex, Liz. Just a chance to enjoy some time with you, and to introduce you to my daughter.”
”And if I wanted sex?” Liz replied, finding it surprisingly easy to fall back in to their lightly teasing banter.
”I have a three year old. Trust me when I say there will be no sex,” came the laughing reply.
“What the hell,” she nodded, deciding to go. “It is that or spend two weeks locked away in my office re-reading old case laws. No sex in California sounds better than no sex in New York. And if she is anything like her mother, I’m sure Ellie will provide some good entertainment.” She signed the credit card slip and packed her things away as they both stood up.
”Just don’t call her Ellie when you first meet her,” she said. “She is awfully picky about who can call her that. Once you’ve got permission you know she likes you,” she grinned.
“What should I call her then?” Liz asked with a raised eyebrow. She was sounded exactly like her mother already.
“Elizabeth.” The blonde’s eyes widened slightly and Casey’s pale skin flushed pink.
“Elizabeth,” Liz said softly. “I’ll make sure I remember that.”
”I hardly think you’ll be able to forget.” Casey leaned in and kissed her on the cheek outside the restaurant. “I’m leaving on a six am flight from JFK. If you can’t get on the same flight call me with your times and I’ll make sure we’re at the airport waiting for you.”
Liz nodded and squeezed her hand lightly. “Thank you,” she said, two simple words not enough to cover just how many things she had to thank her for.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Casey replied with a soft smile before heading off in the opposite direction.
Liz watched her walk away for a moment then hailed a cab. Of course Casey knew what she was trying to say. She always did, and she also knew how uncomfortable being overly emotional made Liz feel, so she always played it down. Even after all these years Casey was still trying to make her happy. Liz smiled and felt that empty chamber in her heart start to fill. It wasn’t filling with love - she doubted there would be any of that after so long, and if there was it would take a lot of time to rebuild - but simply knowing Casey didn’t hate her for what she did began to heal the self-inflicted wounds she had kept locked away for so long. When she arrived back at her brownstone she immediately booked a seat on Casey’s flight then packed a bag. She dialled the redhead’s number but it went straight to voicemail. “It’s nice to know your charity does not waste its money on business class tickets, however I’ve never liked travelling coach so I took the liberty of upgrading us. Sleep well.” She hung up and smiled, looking forward to the following few days.
Fandom: SVU
Characters/Pairings: Liz Donnelly, Casey Novak (post Liz/Casey)
Word Count: 1834
Rating: PG
A/N: This has been sitting around on my hard drive for months. I've never really been happy with this but decided to just finish it off and post it anyway so I can get it out of the way.
Seven years had passed and yet somehow she felt the emptiness in her heart like it was only just last week. That wasn’t exactly true though. She had felt empty for a long time, but slowly she cut that section off and had managed to not dwell on it for quite a while now. There had been others of course; some playthings, a few attempts at a relationship. None had made her smile in quite the same way, but then she supposed that was to be expected.
She had been just leaving work when her cell rang, completely unprepared for the voice on the other end of the line. That was two hours ago, and she certainly wasn’t any better prepared to have the owner of that voice approaching her from across the restaurant. “Casey,” she breathed softly, then stood and smiled a little. “Casey,” she repeated audibly. “How are you?” A kiss to the cheek, as was expected, then they both took their seats.
”Hello Elizabeth,” she said with a warm smile. “You look well.”
Seven years had done her the world of good. Maybe it was leaving New York. Maybe it was leaving Liz. The blonde didn’t want to put too much energy in to that train of thought. She looked at Casey carefully and smiled to herself a little. She had learned the value of a good tailored suit from Liz, and the lesson seemed to have stuck. “You look stunning,” she replied by way of acknowledging the compliment. “What brings you back?” Small talk was easy for the moment. It gave her time to observe her former partner until she was able to sort out her own emotions.
”A conference,” came the reply. “It’s not been my first visit,” she admitted.
Liz simply nodded. Of course it wasn’t. While the revelation came as no surprise to her, it still stung just a little. “And what is it that you do for work these days?” Clearly something that made her enough money to afford the suits. She hadn’t touched the money in the account Liz had left for her. Call it a guilt payment. ‘Here, have a ridiculous amount of money as a way of apology. I didn’t mean for you to get disbarred.’
“Charity work.” Liz’s face must have shown her disbelief, because she continued. “The suit comes out for conferences and benefits. Whenever I am trying to convince people to hand over large sums of cash,” she said with a devious smile.
For the first time that night, Liz smiled genuinely. That smile - that was her Casey. “And were you successful?”
“They don’t fly me across the country unless I can virtually guarantee them a sudden surge in their bank accounts,” she said with a small wink. Liz saw her looking around and caught a look - longing? - as it flashed across her soft features before disappearing as quickly as it came. “And you? I believe congratulations are in order. I read you have been appointed to the state supreme court.”
Liz nodded slightly and gave her another small smile. “I start in two weeks,” she replied.
The waiter offered a break in the conversation and they both placed their orders, a gin & tonic for Liz and a whiskey sour for Casey. Some things never change. They ordered a light meal each and soon enough they were left to their conversation.
”Why now?” The blonde asked.
“I wasn’t ready before,” Casey replied simply. She looked so much more confident. The arrogance of youth seemed to have faded and she looked like a woman who had found her place in the world, and that place wasn’t at Liz’s feet.
“What changed?”
“Ellie,” she said, her face lighting up even though her muscles had barely moved an inch.
Yet another revelation that didn’t surprise, but still stung. She was a beautiful, seemingly successful, intelligent, vivacious woman. There was no reason for her not to have found someone else. She frowned as Casey rummaged through her purse and pulled out a photo. She didn’t particularly need to see a photo of the new woman in Casey’s life. When Casey passed it over she glanced down and her eyes widened slightly. Grinning back at her was a toothy, flame-haired little toddler. “Oh!” she said with surprise as she looked up at Casey.
The redhead chuckled and took a sip of the drink that had just been delivered. “Indeed,” she said with a bright smile. “She’s just turned three.”
”She is the spitting image of you,” Liz said, inspecting the photo closely. “Maybe a slightly rounder face.” She looked up at Casey again. “And the father?”
”I moved across the country, Liz, I didn’t suddenly turn straight,” she said with a frown. “I used donor sperm. And no, there isn’t another mother either.”
She hid the smile that last statement brought forth. “She’s beautiful,” she said honestly. Liz didn’t miss the pride in Casey’s eyes. “Where is she now?”
“At home. She’s staying with a friend who has a girl the same age.”
The blonde nodded and handed back the photo. “You always wanted a daughter.”
”I did,” she replied with a content smile. It was left unspoken that they had had several heated conversations over the subject, and Liz had always blatantly refused to consider it.
The silence that settled over them was about as uncomfortable as could be expected and Liz took a slow sip of her drink. “I’m sorry,” she said eventually. “That was the last thing I expected to happen to you.”
“It was seven years ago, Liz,” she said, automatically ushering it away.
“And it was still the wrong choice, which I’ve never had the opportunity to apologise for,” she replied. “I know you, Casey. I know exactly what we had. You would never have left like that if I weren’t such a tremendous asshole.”
The redhead chuckled lightly and placed her glass down on the table. “Yes, you were a tremendous asshole. You destroyed my career.” Liz felt Casey scrutinizing her as she gathered her thoughts “You also broke my heart and it stayed that way...until I had Ellie.” The blonde knew that wasn’t the end of it. “Who fixed yours?” And there it was.
”What makes you assume it needed fixing?” Casey had never been subtle. In fact, she had been downright blunt on more than one occasion, so Liz knew this was coming, but the days of being emotionally open to Casey were over.
”Liz…”
“Yes?”
”You know me,” she started and Liz couldn’t help but smile a little. They had always used each other’s words to get what they wanted. “Just as I know you.”
Liz closed her eyes for the briefest moment and nodded. “There have been a few people over the years. None quite matched up to…well…you. And you?”
”No one has ever tried to put me on my knees,” she said almost wistfully.
“Would it be inappropriate to say I’m glad?” Liz asked with a small smile.
”Entirely. But I would be disappointed not to hear it,” Casey replied with a smile of her own. “Do you have some time off before you start your new position?”
“My last day was today, why?” she asked, eyebrow just slightly raised.
“Come back to California with me for a few days. I have a guest room that is at the opposite end of the house to Ellie’s room so you won’t be woken up at six am. It would be nice to just spend some time with you again. I’ve missed you.”
Liz thought about it for a long moment and when the waiter approached with their bill she laid her card down out of habit. “I’m not sure that is a good idea, Casey.”
She saw the disappointment in Casey’s eyes and she felt instantly guilty. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint her further. She was relieved when Casey’s face took on a mock admonishing look. “I’m not asking for sex, Liz. Just a chance to enjoy some time with you, and to introduce you to my daughter.”
”And if I wanted sex?” Liz replied, finding it surprisingly easy to fall back in to their lightly teasing banter.
”I have a three year old. Trust me when I say there will be no sex,” came the laughing reply.
“What the hell,” she nodded, deciding to go. “It is that or spend two weeks locked away in my office re-reading old case laws. No sex in California sounds better than no sex in New York. And if she is anything like her mother, I’m sure Ellie will provide some good entertainment.” She signed the credit card slip and packed her things away as they both stood up.
”Just don’t call her Ellie when you first meet her,” she said. “She is awfully picky about who can call her that. Once you’ve got permission you know she likes you,” she grinned.
“What should I call her then?” Liz asked with a raised eyebrow. She was sounded exactly like her mother already.
“Elizabeth.” The blonde’s eyes widened slightly and Casey’s pale skin flushed pink.
“Elizabeth,” Liz said softly. “I’ll make sure I remember that.”
”I hardly think you’ll be able to forget.” Casey leaned in and kissed her on the cheek outside the restaurant. “I’m leaving on a six am flight from JFK. If you can’t get on the same flight call me with your times and I’ll make sure we’re at the airport waiting for you.”
Liz nodded and squeezed her hand lightly. “Thank you,” she said, two simple words not enough to cover just how many things she had to thank her for.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Casey replied with a soft smile before heading off in the opposite direction.
Liz watched her walk away for a moment then hailed a cab. Of course Casey knew what she was trying to say. She always did, and she also knew how uncomfortable being overly emotional made Liz feel, so she always played it down. Even after all these years Casey was still trying to make her happy. Liz smiled and felt that empty chamber in her heart start to fill. It wasn’t filling with love - she doubted there would be any of that after so long, and if there was it would take a lot of time to rebuild - but simply knowing Casey didn’t hate her for what she did began to heal the self-inflicted wounds she had kept locked away for so long. When she arrived back at her brownstone she immediately booked a seat on Casey’s flight then packed a bag. She dialled the redhead’s number but it went straight to voicemail. “It’s nice to know your charity does not waste its money on business class tickets, however I’ve never liked travelling coach so I took the liberty of upgrading us. Sleep well.” She hung up and smiled, looking forward to the following few days.