(no subject)
Social Security.
Taxpayers dollars.
Social fuckin' security.
are we really that poor?
Well, I broke my promise to Gary today and took another day off and lazed around in hyde park; I was gonna go to the harbour/chat to some derros on oxford, but Ended up lazing around all day in the sunlight, rolling around on the grass :]
There really is something nice about people who will rest collectively in the same space, trusting each other on the merest thread that relates them (all quintessential sydney siders, not that they're at all the same in any way though).
Sleeping Communally.
I got there early and the park was empty but looked so good and the grass was still a bit damp from the rain but at least it was going to be clean and it was glistening and people were perched round the edge, or making their own sweet ways somewhere, and I was the first to run in and lie down, then a whole stack of people came to just my patch, and then i left my patch for a while and came back and the park was full.
Kids were chucking footies around and hacky sacks and ladies got their stilettoes ruined.
It really was nice though, just all the people. It reminded me of the 4am bus on the way home from my sneakout all those weeks ago where everyone was OK sober, and not too sketchy or anything like that (just returning from a night out i guess - all the drunks wouldve been passed out or "taken home" by then, nobody intoxicated could stick it out like that) and As I sat there everyone around me just fell asleep on each other.
And When you sleep around someone, you make yourself vulnerable! I just thought it was so... intriguing. and so nice. And that came back today.
I thought a bit today about this journal that I write in.
I thought About the people who I sometimes read entries from or IM from time to time, who have insomnia because they can't stop thinking. They can't shut their minds up.
Well, I can't shut my mind up! I'll go out and have one or 2 days like today and The thoughts will come splattering out, as if on tap.
"What does trite mean?"
"this reminds me of something I saw on a back tattoo somewhere..."
"If bricks are fired, what was the first kiln built with?"
"Gotta remind myself to look up something i wrote on 23f cos it might come in handy for my bradfield entry"
And things that can't go un-noticed, like those really tiny, light flugs (flugs = fliesxbugs) that hover just above the ground at the borders between shade and sun, and can only be seen in sunlight, or the little indian kid who sings "the lion sleeps tonight" and skips around strathfield station, in uniform.
It all has to come out sometime and I think this is how I get my sleep.
Well, on my way round the city after that, it was like there were clouds beneath my feet. I swear.
In the afternoon (on perfect time) I went around to resist and as i walked in graham was on the phone but when he saw me his eyes lit up and he smiled and waved so i lit my eyes up and smiled and waved back and flicked through some cds, i said hi, he asked me how i was, i said oh yeah not too bad, yourself? he shrugged and said yeah, pretty good, i grabbed my long-lusted after hwm hoodie off the hanger and paid him for it and put it on the counter (by then he was back on the phone) and he laughed cause he knew how busting i was it and said "ah dear"...then i grinned and waved bye and he waved back and HELL! You know? about 20 words max were said between us, but its the best conversation I've had over the whole day.
(Ah the conversations I had today. Not that many of them were terrible, but I dont much want to remember some of them, and theyre hardly worth writing about).
Well, I put my hoodie on, and I've still got it on - it's big and warm and really soft, and zip-up and its even so big that my shoulder pokes out sometimes :]
I love mens clothes. Im wearing bloke jeans as well. and a wife beater.
I got the train home, the sky was gorgeous, I walked home some of the way, Dad picked me up on my way home and gave me a ride. He hadn't had any phone calls or job interviews and right after i walked in the door and sat in front of the PC (I get a funny feeling this is staged so that i can get a clue whats going on) ...im going to have to continue this later.
Taxpayers dollars.
Social fuckin' security.
are we really that poor?
Well, I broke my promise to Gary today and took another day off and lazed around in hyde park; I was gonna go to the harbour/chat to some derros on oxford, but Ended up lazing around all day in the sunlight, rolling around on the grass :]
There really is something nice about people who will rest collectively in the same space, trusting each other on the merest thread that relates them (all quintessential sydney siders, not that they're at all the same in any way though).
Sleeping Communally.
I got there early and the park was empty but looked so good and the grass was still a bit damp from the rain but at least it was going to be clean and it was glistening and people were perched round the edge, or making their own sweet ways somewhere, and I was the first to run in and lie down, then a whole stack of people came to just my patch, and then i left my patch for a while and came back and the park was full.
Kids were chucking footies around and hacky sacks and ladies got their stilettoes ruined.
It really was nice though, just all the people. It reminded me of the 4am bus on the way home from my sneakout all those weeks ago where everyone was OK sober, and not too sketchy or anything like that (just returning from a night out i guess - all the drunks wouldve been passed out or "taken home" by then, nobody intoxicated could stick it out like that) and As I sat there everyone around me just fell asleep on each other.
And When you sleep around someone, you make yourself vulnerable! I just thought it was so... intriguing. and so nice. And that came back today.
I thought a bit today about this journal that I write in.
I thought About the people who I sometimes read entries from or IM from time to time, who have insomnia because they can't stop thinking. They can't shut their minds up.
Well, I can't shut my mind up! I'll go out and have one or 2 days like today and The thoughts will come splattering out, as if on tap.
"What does trite mean?"
"this reminds me of something I saw on a back tattoo somewhere..."
"If bricks are fired, what was the first kiln built with?"
"Gotta remind myself to look up something i wrote on 23f cos it might come in handy for my bradfield entry"
And things that can't go un-noticed, like those really tiny, light flugs (flugs = fliesxbugs) that hover just above the ground at the borders between shade and sun, and can only be seen in sunlight, or the little indian kid who sings "the lion sleeps tonight" and skips around strathfield station, in uniform.
It all has to come out sometime and I think this is how I get my sleep.
Well, on my way round the city after that, it was like there were clouds beneath my feet. I swear.
In the afternoon (on perfect time) I went around to resist and as i walked in graham was on the phone but when he saw me his eyes lit up and he smiled and waved so i lit my eyes up and smiled and waved back and flicked through some cds, i said hi, he asked me how i was, i said oh yeah not too bad, yourself? he shrugged and said yeah, pretty good, i grabbed my long-lusted after hwm hoodie off the hanger and paid him for it and put it on the counter (by then he was back on the phone) and he laughed cause he knew how busting i was it and said "ah dear"...then i grinned and waved bye and he waved back and HELL! You know? about 20 words max were said between us, but its the best conversation I've had over the whole day.
(Ah the conversations I had today. Not that many of them were terrible, but I dont much want to remember some of them, and theyre hardly worth writing about).
Well, I put my hoodie on, and I've still got it on - it's big and warm and really soft, and zip-up and its even so big that my shoulder pokes out sometimes :]
I love mens clothes. Im wearing bloke jeans as well. and a wife beater.
I got the train home, the sky was gorgeous, I walked home some of the way, Dad picked me up on my way home and gave me a ride. He hadn't had any phone calls or job interviews and right after i walked in the door and sat in front of the PC (I get a funny feeling this is staged so that i can get a clue whats going on) ...im going to have to continue this later.