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I. Swear. To. God.
If I read one more fic in which Arthur gives Harry some kind of talk - be it the "make sure my daughter is home by eleven" kind or the "Harry you do know what sex is, don't you?" kind or the "if you take my pure darling's virginity without promising her that you will marry her I will shoot you" kind - something is going to die. I mean it.
WHO IS THIS MAN THAT REPLACES MY DARLING ARTHUR WEASLEY? WHO IS THIS BUFFOON SO MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK IS CANON?
If Arthur was put in any of these situations, he would probably die of embarassment. ANY OF THESE SCENES WHICH DOES NOT FOLLOW A PATTERN AKIN TO THIS EXAMPLE (THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT BE ABLE TO REPEAT FROM MEMORY) SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH.
HERE IS AN EXAMPLE, BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE JOY THAT IS SANDY COHEN.
Sandy: Look, I gotta ask you - did you - did you use - you know ... protection?
Seth: *covers ears* Oh my God I can't believe you just said that. I can't believe we are having this conversation.
Sandy: Look -
Seth: Yes, OK? Yes. God.
This is the most coherent conversation about sex I would expect Arthur and Harry to have.
And, one more thing: if I see one more instance of Harry calling Arthur "sir" I will actually kill something.
STOP IT. JUST, STOP IT.
THIS. IS. NOT. AMERICA.
AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE TOPIC: THE ONLY PERSON EVER REFERRED TO AS "MA'AM" IN THE UK IS THE QUEEN. NOT YOUR NEIGHBOUR AND NOT YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND NOT THE OLD WOMAN YOU HELPED ACROSS THE STREET. THAT IS IT. END OF DISCUSSION.
If I ever met Kloves, I would not kill him for what he did to Ron or Hermione. I would kill him for having Harry call Mr Weasley "sir" in CoS.
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In other news:
The other day, I received the best review from an archive that I have ever gotten. Even better than the one I got on SU for 'Tread Softly' which listed all the reviewer's favourite books about wartime, and even better than the ones I got on SU for 'One Hour', which were, in their entireties: "a little too graphic." and "THAT WAS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was on PS.net and it was for 'Smoke'.
It says:
now the shoe is on the other foot.
It made my evening.
I love archives.
P.S. I have a new userinfo. Please don't ask what I was on when I did it. :/
P.P.S. Have many comments etc to reply to. Will get right on it. paradise_loved's was about The OC. I may have answered this. :/
If I read one more fic in which Arthur gives Harry some kind of talk - be it the "make sure my daughter is home by eleven" kind or the "Harry you do know what sex is, don't you?" kind or the "if you take my pure darling's virginity without promising her that you will marry her I will shoot you" kind - something is going to die. I mean it.
WHO IS THIS MAN THAT REPLACES MY DARLING ARTHUR WEASLEY? WHO IS THIS BUFFOON SO MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK IS CANON?
If Arthur was put in any of these situations, he would probably die of embarassment. ANY OF THESE SCENES WHICH DOES NOT FOLLOW A PATTERN AKIN TO THIS EXAMPLE (THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT BE ABLE TO REPEAT FROM MEMORY) SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH.
HERE IS AN EXAMPLE, BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE JOY THAT IS SANDY COHEN.
Sandy: Look, I gotta ask you - did you - did you use - you know ... protection?
Seth: *covers ears* Oh my God I can't believe you just said that. I can't believe we are having this conversation.
Sandy: Look -
Seth: Yes, OK? Yes. God.
This is the most coherent conversation about sex I would expect Arthur and Harry to have.
And, one more thing: if I see one more instance of Harry calling Arthur "sir" I will actually kill something.
STOP IT. JUST, STOP IT.
THIS. IS. NOT. AMERICA.
AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE TOPIC: THE ONLY PERSON EVER REFERRED TO AS "MA'AM" IN THE UK IS THE QUEEN. NOT YOUR NEIGHBOUR AND NOT YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND NOT THE OLD WOMAN YOU HELPED ACROSS THE STREET. THAT IS IT. END OF DISCUSSION.
If I ever met Kloves, I would not kill him for what he did to Ron or Hermione. I would kill him for having Harry call Mr Weasley "sir" in CoS.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news:
The other day, I received the best review from an archive that I have ever gotten. Even better than the one I got on SU for 'Tread Softly' which listed all the reviewer's favourite books about wartime, and even better than the ones I got on SU for 'One Hour', which were, in their entireties: "a little too graphic." and "THAT WAS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was on PS.net and it was for 'Smoke'.
It says:
now the shoe is on the other foot.
It made my evening.
I love archives.
P.S. I have a new userinfo. Please don't ask what I was on when I did it. :/
P.P.S. Have many comments etc to reply to. Will get right on it. paradise_loved's was about The OC. I may have answered this. :/